15 October 2016

467: 30 Day Challenge - Get Back to Blogging! Day 1

So it's been awhile since I've been consistent within blogging. There are many reasons for this lack or absence of blogs, some have been practical, though most are not. Most reasons are due to ego. Either judging what I write, fear of others judging what I write, excuses of nothing to write about, resistance to writing as putting in the effort, not wanting to share myself... the list can go on. I was at one point within this process consistent with my blogging - I would just write, every night at the end of the day, whatever points came up that I could see I could 'deal with' with self-reflection and self-forgiveness. And I enjoyed it - it supported in stability, letting go of judgement, letting go of fear of what others think, developing self expression within writing... it was a valuable practice that I just let go of.

So I'm here to pick it back up. It's always here, it always comes up within me. Time to take it off the back shelf, and bring it back into focus.

Throughout my process, I've developed the habit of doing a little bit of everything, everyday. Within the responsibilities I have, obligations, assignments, reading, self-development stuff - I just do a little bit every day, and I really enjoy this process. As it accumulates over time getting things done, sticking with certain tasks, and creating consistency. So why not do the same with blogging?

I have for a long time now let my ego get in the way. I've come up with all sorts of reasons as to why I can't write a blog, when in reality, there is no real reason I can't. It doesn't take much time. It only takes a decision, and then the physical action to create it. It is what I make of it. If I go into resistance, and don't want to do it, and don't direct that experience, I can easily give in and put it off till the next day. But this whole Journey to Life started within/as a decision to share my process here in my blogs... to show each day who I am, what I stand by, what I am changing, and how I'm doing it. It's a small commitment I can make to show not only myself, but others as well, that change in this world is possible and that in truth... it can only start with self.

So that is the purpose of this blog... that is why I started it. That is why I took the Commitment to walk the 7 Year Journey to Life - to show who I am within this world and what I will and will not accept and allow.

I am going to re-commit myself to this point, as I see I have the ability to be consistent within things... I prove that to myself every day when I study spanish, or read, or write, or make transcriptions for audio. I do it every day, consistently, so there is no reason why I cannot apply my ability to be consistent within blogging.

So here I commit to 30 days of blogging to re-establish this valuable practice within my daily living. To stop living in fear, and to, as per one person's suggestion... Live Out Loud. I'm here. This is who I am. There's a lot to change, but I've committed this life to changing me.

I realize I just start. it's as easy or as difficult as I make it, and while the first step of something new can be the most challenging... in time it becomes easier. Each day I make that decision to stick with the commitment, it becomes more and more natural, it becomes more of a habit, and soon it is simply an extension of myself and I can express freely. I've done it with others things, so I know I can do it here. It really is only a matter of stop giving myself excuses and justifications to not do it. I have no reason or justification valid enough.

So here we go... onto the Journey to Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up on myself within the Journey to Life as letting go of consistently blogging - within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put my ego in the way of sharing myself daily within blogging as fearing what others will think of me, judging my own sharing and expressing... comparing myself to others within process in how I see things, and how I share points... basically putting the focus externally, instead of focusing on the actual point within this process as the internal 'who I am' as the starting point for what I do and thus change who I am within all that I do

And so

When and as I see myself resisting, and not wanting to write a daily blog, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that I've used all the excuses in the world to keep myself from writing a blog daily, and in that, create internal conflict as I see NO valid reason I cannot, as well as seeing I am accepting and allowing my own dishonesty and limitation. And so I commit myself to become consistent within my daily blogging, as the daily self-cleansing, and self-support to create myself as directive principle within/as my daily living. I commit myself to create consistency within my blogging, as I have with other projects within my daily life, and so here to - to live consistency within blogging as the potential I see I am capable of

I commit myself to stop using ego to direct me from writing blog - I commit myself to stop using the excuses of fear, judgments, and resistance to keep me from blogging

I commit myself to not fear sharing myself openly within blogs, as realizing all are of consciousness and so all face similar points within/as this world and so as I support myself, I can support others

I commit myself to challenge myself in stopping my ego, and doing rather what is best for myself, and so best for all through daily blogging - showing daily who I am, where my responsibility is, and how I am changing myself to be the best version of me and so supporting others to see this within themselves

I commit myself to keep taking the first step as the decision I must make each day to stick with it, and not give up on myself

I commit myself to this 7 Year Journey to Life... to walking myself from consciousness to awareness. From the mind to Life and to let nothing get in my way, especially myself, until it's done.

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