03 May 2016

455: What About Forgiveness?


Recently I’ve been looking at the point of forgiveness… in the context of how quick I am to judge, to react, and to assume the worst of others. Many times I’m interacting with other people, and one simple thing said, or one movement expressed, or one change of tonality and I am quick to just judge the person, and define them absolutely according to that one moment.

And then I realized… what about forgiveness?

The Desteni Process I am walking, which is really just my own process of self-change, is all about forgiveness. Specifically forgiving thoughts, feelings, and emotions that do not honor what is best for self, and so of course, what is best for all. And while I see the value and importance of forgiving myself, I have yet to apply this to others/my outside world.

About four or five years ago, shortly after I began this process, I noticed or came to see and realize just how hard, harsh, and tough I was on myself. And in that, how I was inherently resisting me because I was judging everything about me, everything I saw within my mind, every behavior or experiences I had when around other people, the jealousy, the spite, the envy, the desire… I didn’t like it and I was quick to judge myself and come down hard on myself for existing in such ways. Though through time, and with the support of the tools within the Desteni Process, and those others walking their own process, I came to realize the importance of me embracing me; of me loving me, of accepting me in who I am in THIS moment. I would apply breathing when I saw myself react to my own mind, I would even physically hug myself – wrapping my own arms around me, embracing me and physically expressing self-love and care, really taking a moment to be with me, and to show myself I was here for myself. I was soothing the inherent need to fight and resist myself, and rather I accepted this me I am in such a moment as the understanding that is the only way I can change. I have to first embrace me, understand me, forgive me and then let go.

So this aspect of self-forgiveness I absolutely understood from the beginning, and can say it’s a point I’ve been able to change throughout the last few years. I am no longer hard on myself, I am much more patient with myself, I am much more nurturing and supportive then I’ve ever been before... towards me.

Though now I see I have yet to express this outward. When I notice myself jumping to conclusions, and jumping to assessing who someone is through just one moment with them, I realize forgiveness, as a living word, is not present. I will have to forgive others to be able to support others. I will have to forgive others to create something new with others. If we only just hold things against each other from past miss-takes, or miss moments of change, then we are only condemning ourselves to the same conflictual relationships we’ve always existed as. Forgiveness is to start over, to build something new, and to nurture the potential within each one.

I am going to have to embrace, honor, and nurture those around me, as I've been able to do for myself.

This world is built upon individuals, each one equally worthy of forgiveness. If we cannot forgive the worst parts of ourselves, the worst parts of humanity, then what’s the point? Forgiveness exists in order for us to be able to move on, to change, and to create equality within humanity that honors the inherent worth of all. Perhaps one day we won’t need forgiveness as a living word, though where we are at now collectively, forgiveness is the key.

Without forgiveness, there is no understanding. Without understanding, there is no ‘stand in the shoes of another’, and ‘give as you would like to receive.’ Without these guiding principles, we have what we currently have – greed, corruption, self-interest, separation, inequality, war, hate, neglect of life in all its forms. Forgiveness is our salvation. And while it starts with ourselves, I can see for myself it’s time to expand my forgiveness outward. To forgive them for they know not what they do.

I see I can forgive myself, so now it’s time to forgive others. To stop the reactions the moment they arise. To give others the opportunity to see how they can be better; to live their utmost potential, and to not deny them this through my acceptance of judgment, blame, assumptions, and dismissal.

Forgiveness is the blog to follow….





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