19 January 2016

445: My Sluggish Sunday part 2

Continuing from yesterday's blog, and self-forgiveness... the following is the corrections I can make to realize how to direct myself physically out of an experience, what it means to be productive, and to stop sitting on the fence about things.

When and as I see myself giving into an experience of being tired and sluggish on Sundays after my shift at work, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that this is due to an idea I’ve allowed within myself of where it’s like now the end of my week, and I can just throw in the towel, and physically give into the experience of not wanting to do anything. I commit myself to change this idea within me that influence my experience as becoming sluggish and tired, and I commit myself to start deciding for myself, as a point of self-direction, how I will experience myself after work

When and as I see myself not remaining consistent within my days, in how I physically move and apply myself, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that currently the inconsistency exists on Sundays, based on an idea I have about ‘the end of the week’ and so rather I commit myself to practice consistency in my days as  being stable and constant and physically directing myself, instead of allowing an experience based on an idea move me

When and as I see myself existing within statement of, “I’m tired” and physically slouching, and accepting the idea it’s going to be struggle to ‘get through this evening’ on Sundays, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that these statements support the pattern I’ve created of becoming tired and sluggish on Sundays and so rather I commit myself to stop, breathe, stand up straight, not participate in the thought, and direct myself accordingly as what is necessary to be done – realizing this is what I prefer and when I’m satisfied, and allows me to practice becoming self-directive principle of myself

When and as I see myself participating in a routine on Sundays where I just want to give in, throw in the towel, and not do a damn thing except watch tv, snack, and lounge around – I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that this ‘want’ is fueled by an energy that is like a resistance to remaining consistent within myself, and to give in is to accept the pattern I’ve created, instead of taking responsibility for it and actually changing it – as I’ve shown I can create myself in certain ways – as I’ve created this Sunday Sluggish point – I can also change it and make Sundays a satisfactory day of self-production

When and as I see myself working all the time, and not giving myself any ‘down time’ as self-enjoy, and self-relaxation – I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that this is part of the problem as the pattern I’ve created in Sundays being so sluggish for me, wherein I want to just throw in the towel because I feel overworked and burned out. And so I commit myself to create more of a balance between work and play where I do things that support me in being able to ‘let go’ and step away from work, and really relax and enjoy myself – things that are fun to me. And I commit to do this within practical consideration of what is best, as the time allotted for this, to ensure I am being directive with it, and not giving more time needed just because I was extra time to not do anything

When and as I see myself defining Sundays’ as the ‘end of the week’, and to within this, belief I must crash, and burn and completely collapse from the past week, just to do it all again the next day, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that this is a common belief within many people – their relationship to their week, and the structure of it, and so I commit myself to change my relationship to Sundays, and the end of the week to be that which is supportive, and not more or less than any others day and so commit to me reaming the same. Each day is equal in its time available, and opportunities for growth, and change, and development and so I commit myself to utilize each day to its utmost potential, as each day being the chance for me to express my utmost potential. I commit myself to see every day as every other day and not to define one day as more or less than another, or one day as where I must work very hard/long, and another day where I must completely crash and burn.

When and as I see myself running on energy as attempting to be as productive as possible, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that this is where I create the pattern of ‘crashing and burning’ because energy always runs out – it does not remain the same, it changes and fluctuates, and if I allow myself to be dependent, or influenced by energy, then I am only a slave to it’s changes. Rather, I commit myself to practice day breathing, to ground myself in my physical body and so stop participating on energy, wherein I slowly but surely stop participating in polarities of experiences – highs and low, positive and negative, and instead remain constant, yesterday, today, and tomorrow – that is a real way to remain productive, every day doing what you can, and not missing a moment because energy participation depleted your ability to move

When and as I see myself not making a decision to direct myself out of the sluggish feeling/experience on Sundays, but also not deciding to go completely into it, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that this sitting on the fence is basically me making the decision to NOT direct myself out of the experience because simply put – I’m not directing myself out of the experience, I am somewhat experiencing it, yet not giving what I’m doing my full participation, as I am physically slower, like walking through mud. I commit myself to make a decision, either way, as the statement of who I am and what I allow rather than sitting on the fence with energetic experiences that basically is me hiding out from making a decision that is best for me, and is being direct and self-honest. I commit myself to physically move myself out of the experience through how I’m moving my physical body – to stand up straight, to get up and walk if I must, to do something to get me in my body and so more alert and focused, and present HERE within/as me to better direct myself in what I would like to get done



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