15 January 2016

441: A Cool Point

Continuing from yesterday – the specific words I wrote in yesterdays blog I’m going to look at within self-forgiveness here, in relation to this point of ‘not having a point’ are, “I felt weak, and sad, and lost in a way”.

Weak, sad, and lost.

So while yesterday I mentioned it’s important for me not to define myself for having a point or not having a point that is specific at the moment, here within the words listed above, I am defining myself as being weak, sad, and lost for not having a point. So must clean that up, as it’s obviously influencing me to an extent wherein I feel weak, sad, and lost.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as weak for not having a specific point/purpose in my life that I am interested in at the moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as sad for not having a specific point/purpose in my life that I am interested in at the moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as lost for not having a specific point/purpose in my life that I am interested in at the moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach a negative energy to the words weak, lost, and sad and to within this, define myself within this negative energy as the words weak, lost, and sad in relation to not having a specific point/purpose in my life that I’m interested in at the moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to my partner, who has quite a specific point/purpose he is walking with/as his art, and to define myself as lacking or as something wrong with me because I do not have such a point in myself/my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not use comparisons constructively and instead use it as emotional manipulation to keep me within the same thought pattern that I am lost, weak, and sad for not having such a specific point, one like I see within my partner, which keeps me from seeing and utilizing what is here as points of development and expansion to prepare for something to open up in myself/my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become emotional when speaking to my partner about my point, and that I don’ have such a specific one as him, and to within this, feel inferior and as if I’m missing something from myself, like I am less than him because I don’t have such a point in my life as I see he does within himself/his life

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to rather comparing myself as emotional manipulation towards my partner for his specific point in his life he’s walking, to rather see the skills and words he is living to walk his point, and use as an example for myself as what I would like to live and become and so allow comparisons to be supportive and constructive, building myself and my expression and my life in a way where I become better, and not less than as the feeling of being inferior

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I am an inferior human being, living an inferior life because I don’t have such a specific point as a purpose that interests me, instead of focusing on what is here in my life, perfecting myself within that, to thus allow other opportunities to develop from that point of expression and expansion

I realize that until I am stable within what I’m doing, I cannot move on from that – it is specific to support me within certain skills and applications that require a consistent responsibility, and while I’m here, I have the perfect opportunity to perfect myself within that, preparing myself for what may be ahead, what doors may open, what points that may arise, what interests that may reveal themselves. I also realize that in ‘not having a point, I’ve come to accept that a point will just magically show up and reveals itself, instead of ME being the CREATOR of such a  point, of such a purpose. I am actually in quite a cool position as I am not currently bound by anything (except of course the survival mode we all currently exist within as our monetary system) and that I can decide on what I would like to do – me, alone, by my own choice can make a decision on what I spend and invest my time on and into.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand the cool point I am in now, through defining myself as not having a point as being something bad/negative, as a choice I can make on my own, within common sense, that will allow me to express my strengths and build my weaknesses as incorporating words and skills that are necessary for me to expand and live my utmost potential

Another point I can see is that I’ve never really allowed myself to look at my strengths, I suppose being that I’ve always defined myself as not having any strengths, and only weakness. So quite the inferior position I’ve always put myself in, always dis-empowering myself through ideas of myself, rather than uplifting and supporting myself to see perhaps what others do see – what are my strengths? What are my weakness? How can I become a better human being?

I forgive myself that I have never accepted and allowed myself to get to know myself as defining and listing my strengths, as what I am good at, and what I enjoy, and what comes naturally to me and instead always focusing on the bad qualities I see and use that against myself to manipulate and sabotaging myself into a state of stagnation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see only the bad in me rather than being self-honest and seeing ALL aspects of me, not just the bad, but also the good – allowing myself to cherish who I am and what I have developed and how I have expanded and grown and how I can continue to do so as I walk the Journey to Life from consciousness to awareness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself within emotions when I define myself as only negative things, instead of allowing myself to get to know ALL sides, and aspects and dimensions of myself – as my thoughts, words, and deeds, as I see, realize, and understand that from that I am in a point of self-empowerment because I can then decide what can stay, and what must go, and what I must harness within me as I learn to express myself within/as what is here

To be continued...



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