13 May 2015

412: People Paranoia: Interpreting another's Experience

Have you ever had that experience where you KNOW what another person is thinking, or feeling, or experiencing? And from this KNOWING, you direct yourself in a certain way?

Or really, it's not even about you directing yourself, when one interprets how another is experiencing themselves, one then is influenced by this interpretation. Which really is just an assumption.

Let me explain a bit better.

Recently I've noticed this point within me of where I will assume to know what another it thinking and feeling and experiencing. And what is most interesting about this assumption/interpretation is that it is always in relation to Me. Where I think I know how one is experiencing themselves in relation to me, and from this, will be influenced by this idea or interpretation of what I think I know they are experiencing in relation to me.

Sounds kind of like a mess, doesn't it? Well it is.

What I was supported to see today was that when I interpret what another person is thinking or feeling or experiencing, I am standing within a point of uncertainty. Because I do not actually know in fact, for real, what they are experiencing or how they are feeling, because chances are, I didn't directly ask them... 'what is your experience? How are you feeling about this? What is your experience in relation to me?' No - I do not directly ask what I want to know or even what I am wondering about, I instead invert into my own mind and come up with all sorts of ideas about what they are experiencing, and this I trust.

Which is interesting. I am more likely to trust my own interpretations and assumptions about what another person is feeling/experiencing, then if I were to directly ask them and they were to tell me. Fascinating - we think we cannot trust others, but that we can trust our own minds?

The reason I know I cannot trust my own mind is because my own mind has a hidden agenda. Have a look... while I'm busy thinking about what another person is experiencing, it's actually revolving around me... I'm thinking they are experiencing this or that about ME. It's all about me. Self-interest. And in that self-interest, there's all sorts of programs running as a way to protect, defend, define and justify who I think I am.

For instance... I have had this interpretation coming up of how I think another is experiencing themselves, and it's thinking they don't want me around. And so what do I do? I go into defense mode - want to give them space and distance, but really within a point of blaming them for my own interpretation of how they are feeling, and then create more tension within me, because now I am moving myself according to how I think THEY are feeling... and really what a mind fuck this all is.

The point being here is that it's all interpretation. It's all assumptions. It's all ideas, and thoughts based on no actual evidence or real communication. It is based on my own mind, my own experience, my own self definitions and self judgments. It's really just a projection of myself unto another person.

And it's within uncertainty. When I assume, when I interpret, when I THINK to know what another person is experiencing, I am uncertain. Because I did not ask, I did not clarify, I made up my own mind.. though, as I can see, I cannot necessarily trust.

And then the uncertainty I'm allowing is creating conflict within me. And within this conflict, I am creating more interpretation and what I get for following this pattern is a paranoia. In allowing myself to interpret another's experience as this or that about me... I eventually dig a big hole within myself as how I'm experiencing myself towards them based on ideas of how I think they are experiencing themselves towards me.

When really... I could just STOP.

And find out for real.

I can just ask.

"Hey - is this your experience? I am interpreting this, and I think this is your experience, is this actually accurate?" And you hear the words of another and you reference for yourself if it was in fact accurate or not. Most of the time... it wont be accurate, you will see you have just created your own paranoia within your own mind.

So a point I am currently facing and walking through... seeing how I interpret another's actions or words within my own mind, create and make up my own ideas about them and what they are experiencing and use that to direct myself, or rather allow that to influence me and how I move/interact with them. Instead of simply sticking to the physical, breathing, and communicating. Communicating, in all relationships, is key, as the foundation of what is real and what we can actually work with.

Communicate. Stop the uncertainty within self as the way we interpret another's experience... find out for real, ask, communicate.

Man, we could really make our lives more simple.

More to come on the topic of people paranoia.




Featured Artwork By: Andrew Gable and Kelly Posey

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12 May 2015

411: Overreacting - Making a Big Fuss about the Little Things

I just finished listening to an EQAFE Recording, 2013 - The Future Of Consciousness - Overreacting - There's More than Meets the Eye - part 28, and it was quite a timely recording as I could relate so much to what was being discussed.

The recording was talking about how when we're having reactions towards someone or something in our external environment, there is usually something behind or within the reaction; that it's not actually about what we are having a reaction about, but that there's a deeper issue not being addressed. Though sometimes it can be specifically about what you are reacting towards, often times there is some bigger issue buried deep within ourselves that we are not willing to face.

I could relate to it in that this past week I have been busy looking for a job, without a lot of feedback coming my way. Hardly any responses, and in this, felt worried and concerned about not being able to find a job before 'it's too late' or rather, before my funds run out.

I have just recently moved to a new country, and am in a completely new environment, which I have not spent much time away from where I am originally from. The longest I've been away from home is 2 months, and that trip was even cut short due to me being homesick. Well, there again was probably some deeper issues I wasn't addressing at that time, but used being 'homesick' as the reason/justification/excuse for my early departure and return home.

Anyways, I am in a new environment that is more of a permanent stay and I have been busy trying to find work. It has not been going as expected, and so in that, I am facing some fears and anxieties coming up in relation to that.

Meanwhile... I am reacting towards the one person in my environment, my partner. So while I have been looking at these reactions as they are coming up, and I could see that clearly it wasn't about anything my partner is doing or saying, that the real issue here is my reactions/anxieties/fears regarding work and money, but in not perhaps addressing these reactions full on or in absolute specificity, I am instead reacting to little things in relation to my partner.

So this interview was clearly showing what is going on within me this past week... that these little things that are apparently bothering me about my partner, don't actually have anything to do with him... or that's it's not even about those little things I am reacting toward... the real, deeper issue here is my anxiety around not finding work, and instead of dealing with this, I instead project blame unto my external reality.

Which really is the same 'ol story of me, and for all humans I would say. We become so accustomed to blaming something outside of ourselves, and are so well practiced in avoiding our own deeper issues we then find something or someone else to point the finger at; to exert any frustrations we may have outward.

This is not a solution, and is in no way taking self-responsibility for what is actually going on. Imagine if you were to, instead of becoming upset at little things about others, you looked within yourself and asked yourself, 'what is really the issue here?' This of course takes self-honesty, which is not something we as humanity are very good at, though with practice and discipline, it can be developed.

So this is a point I am currently facing and walking through, and again, Eqafe has supported in better understanding what it is in fact I am facing, creating and existing as, and how I can practically change this pattern of avoiding the bigger issues and making a fuss about the little things.

The point here being - stop wasting time and get down into the nitty-gritty reality of ourselves - dig deep and address what's going on within our minds and ourselves, and so stop finding little faults in others or outside of yourself. Time to uncover and take out the internal trash.



Featured Artwork By: Scott Cook and Kelly Posey

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11 May 2015

410: Cat Punching Page Removed from Facebook... It Can't Stop There


Cat Punching.

I had not actually heard about such a thing. That this was actually a page on Facebook, promoting or showcasing such a thing as punching cats.

What I saw when researching a bit about it was that it was something that happened back in February and was a Facebook page created called “Valentines Day Event – Cat Punching”. There was an uproar about it and people demanded it be removed, which it was.

What I find most interesting about this is, yes, of course, animal abuse is absolutely atrocious, and yes of course, it should in no way be glorified or accepted for that matter, and so such a page should be removed. But to me what is most interesting is that 20,000 people can rally together, and act as a group, using the collect will and force to inflict awareness and demand a change in relation toward a particular point, yet when it comes to things that happen daily, which includes animal abuse, in the Real World, our group efforts cease to exist.

It’s like because we are so fond of cute little kitties on the web, playing with toys, and running around and we get all smiley and happy and a positive feeling about it – when that is challenged in showing another side of the story, another reality that is usually kept hidden away, we are appalled and demand it be removed. Though it still happens. Animals are still being abused, and people are still joking about punching cats in the face. We cannot have such a thing being so obvious to us, such as streaming in our news feeds.

The reality is cats are abused, so are many other animals. And we are not outraged as we were towards this Facebook group. We do not stand together and take action, collectively, to create change. We are mostly passive and apathetic when it comes to atrocities of our world, and we let shit slide… and part of that is due to this acceptance of ignorance is bliss and preferring to only see the 'positive'.

There are things that matter in this world, and all life is included… not just humans, and not just dogs or cats, ALL life in all it’s forms and shapes and expression are of equal value. Yet we want to create a fuss about a kitten being held up with someone holding a fist to it’s face.

Just because a page gets removed, doesn't mean the abuse stops. It’s just no longer in our face, we no longer have to see it, and thus we no longer care. That is the problem we currently face… “out of sight, out of mind.” When we are not directly facing the issues at hand, when we deliberately choose to ignore what is going on in our world and our responsibility within it, how our participation or lack of participation sustains this existence we call life and how we treat each other, let alone animals, when we can distract ourselves from having to face the truth of what humanity has come to be and accept and allow… then we will never realize what it will take to finally stop and change.



First things first, we must face it. We must be self-honest and SEE what is going on in this world. Taking a page down doesn't stop the abuse… stopping the inner abuse, the inner abuser will stop the outflow as the whole. Change the inner to change the outer, equal as one. 

From my perspective, people coming together to decide to remove  page as  statement of no longer tolerating it on facebook, is great, yet it must not stop there. Blaming the abusers doesn't stop the abusers. Understanding WHY people abuse, what goes on in the mind of one that decides torturing or hurting animals is worth the time and energy, is something to understand and investigate if we are to ever stop it from happening.

That is where Desteni comes in. A group of individuals from all of the world coming together, practicing and implementing very simplistic principles into their lives that promote self-awareness, life in equality, self-responsibility, self-honesty, understanding WHO WE ARE as the Mind and the changing of the human nature we are outraged by daily. Become part of the solution. Investigate Desteni... investigate your own Mind.

Check out other's who've shared their take on the Cat Punching topic here.




The Journey to Lifers

Take Responsibility for what is HERE as this world, within AND without:
Desteni

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