13 May 2015

412: People Paranoia: Interpreting another's Experience

Have you ever had that experience where you KNOW what another person is thinking, or feeling, or experiencing? And from this KNOWING, you direct yourself in a certain way?

Or really, it's not even about you directing yourself, when one interprets how another is experiencing themselves, one then is influenced by this interpretation. Which really is just an assumption.

Let me explain a bit better.

Recently I've noticed this point within me of where I will assume to know what another it thinking and feeling and experiencing. And what is most interesting about this assumption/interpretation is that it is always in relation to Me. Where I think I know how one is experiencing themselves in relation to me, and from this, will be influenced by this idea or interpretation of what I think I know they are experiencing in relation to me.

Sounds kind of like a mess, doesn't it? Well it is.

What I was supported to see today was that when I interpret what another person is thinking or feeling or experiencing, I am standing within a point of uncertainty. Because I do not actually know in fact, for real, what they are experiencing or how they are feeling, because chances are, I didn't directly ask them... 'what is your experience? How are you feeling about this? What is your experience in relation to me?' No - I do not directly ask what I want to know or even what I am wondering about, I instead invert into my own mind and come up with all sorts of ideas about what they are experiencing, and this I trust.

Which is interesting. I am more likely to trust my own interpretations and assumptions about what another person is feeling/experiencing, then if I were to directly ask them and they were to tell me. Fascinating - we think we cannot trust others, but that we can trust our own minds?

The reason I know I cannot trust my own mind is because my own mind has a hidden agenda. Have a look... while I'm busy thinking about what another person is experiencing, it's actually revolving around me... I'm thinking they are experiencing this or that about ME. It's all about me. Self-interest. And in that self-interest, there's all sorts of programs running as a way to protect, defend, define and justify who I think I am.

For instance... I have had this interpretation coming up of how I think another is experiencing themselves, and it's thinking they don't want me around. And so what do I do? I go into defense mode - want to give them space and distance, but really within a point of blaming them for my own interpretation of how they are feeling, and then create more tension within me, because now I am moving myself according to how I think THEY are feeling... and really what a mind fuck this all is.

The point being here is that it's all interpretation. It's all assumptions. It's all ideas, and thoughts based on no actual evidence or real communication. It is based on my own mind, my own experience, my own self definitions and self judgments. It's really just a projection of myself unto another person.

And it's within uncertainty. When I assume, when I interpret, when I THINK to know what another person is experiencing, I am uncertain. Because I did not ask, I did not clarify, I made up my own mind.. though, as I can see, I cannot necessarily trust.

And then the uncertainty I'm allowing is creating conflict within me. And within this conflict, I am creating more interpretation and what I get for following this pattern is a paranoia. In allowing myself to interpret another's experience as this or that about me... I eventually dig a big hole within myself as how I'm experiencing myself towards them based on ideas of how I think they are experiencing themselves towards me.

When really... I could just STOP.

And find out for real.

I can just ask.

"Hey - is this your experience? I am interpreting this, and I think this is your experience, is this actually accurate?" And you hear the words of another and you reference for yourself if it was in fact accurate or not. Most of the time... it wont be accurate, you will see you have just created your own paranoia within your own mind.

So a point I am currently facing and walking through... seeing how I interpret another's actions or words within my own mind, create and make up my own ideas about them and what they are experiencing and use that to direct myself, or rather allow that to influence me and how I move/interact with them. Instead of simply sticking to the physical, breathing, and communicating. Communicating, in all relationships, is key, as the foundation of what is real and what we can actually work with.

Communicate. Stop the uncertainty within self as the way we interpret another's experience... find out for real, ask, communicate.

Man, we could really make our lives more simple.

More to come on the topic of people paranoia.




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