2013 - The Future Of Consciousness - Overreacting - There's More than Meets the Eye - part 28, and it was quite a timely recording as I could relate so much to what was being discussed.
The recording was talking about how when we're having reactions towards someone or something in our external environment, there is usually something behind or within the reaction; that it's not actually about what we are having a reaction about, but that there's a deeper issue not being addressed. Though sometimes it can be specifically about what you are reacting towards, often times there is some bigger issue buried deep within ourselves that we are not willing to face.
I could relate to it in that this past week I have been busy looking for a job, without a lot of feedback coming my way. Hardly any responses, and in this, felt worried and concerned about not being able to find a job before 'it's too late' or rather, before my funds run out.
I have just recently moved to a new country, and am in a completely new environment, which I have not spent much time away from where I am originally from. The longest I've been away from home is 2 months, and that trip was even cut short due to me being homesick. Well, there again was probably some deeper issues I wasn't addressing at that time, but used being 'homesick' as the reason/justification/excuse for my early departure and return home.
Anyways, I am in a new environment that is more of a permanent stay and I have been busy trying to find work. It has not been going as expected, and so in that, I am facing some fears and anxieties coming up in relation to that.
Meanwhile... I am reacting towards the one person in my environment, my partner. So while I have been looking at these reactions as they are coming up, and I could see that clearly it wasn't about anything my partner is doing or saying, that the real issue here is my reactions/anxieties/fears regarding work and money, but in not perhaps addressing these reactions full on or in absolute specificity, I am instead reacting to little things in relation to my partner.
So this interview was clearly showing what is going on within me this past week... that these little things that are apparently bothering me about my partner, don't actually have anything to do with him... or that's it's not even about those little things I am reacting toward... the real, deeper issue here is my anxiety around not finding work, and instead of dealing with this, I instead project blame unto my external reality.
Which really is the same 'ol story of me, and for all humans I would say. We become so accustomed to blaming something outside of ourselves, and are so well practiced in avoiding our own deeper issues we then find something or someone else to point the finger at; to exert any frustrations we may have outward.
This is not a solution, and is in no way taking self-responsibility for what is actually going on. Imagine if you were to, instead of becoming upset at little things about others, you looked within yourself and asked yourself, 'what is really the issue here?' This of course takes self-honesty, which is not something we as humanity are very good at, though with practice and discipline, it can be developed.
So this is a point I am currently facing and walking through, and again, Eqafe has supported in better understanding what it is in fact I am facing, creating and existing as, and how I can practically change this pattern of avoiding the bigger issues and making a fuss about the little things.
The point here being - stop wasting time and get down into the nitty-gritty reality of ourselves - dig deep and address what's going on within our minds and ourselves, and so stop finding little faults in others or outside of yourself. Time to uncover and take out the internal trash.
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