31 August 2014

366: Resistance to Forming Relationships

I have been recently re-directing myself towards a new business venture for myself, and the one thing I see most necessary for me to be successful in the business is to form connections and relationships with people. Within seeing this as a practical part of the business, there is a resistance to forming connections/relationships with people. And from there, seeing just how much I avoid building relationships with people; it's as if I have thrown in the towel in getting to know and sustaining relationships with people. Like my preference has become to be alone, or work with those i am most comfortable with. yet I realize that if I do not move past this, and get over the fear, which is in essence what this resistance is, I will not be successful in anything I do because human relationships and interactions is the basis of our world system/reality. So self forgiveness here for the general point I see I am facing to open it up more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear building, creating and sustaining relationships in my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to keep a distance between me and others as a way to not have to face the difficulties of relationships

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define relationships as difficult

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define relationships with others as difficult, and something I didn't really want to participate in with much, because I felt like I had to try so hard for others to like me – or had the belief that this is what I must do, and so in the end, feeling like it was hard work sustaining relationships as I was trying to sustain me as someone others like and so wanted to avoid them all together

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define relationships as useless

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, based on past memories of past relationships, define them as useless in thinking and believing they will turn out how others have in the past, which is in conflict and turmoil and never lasting

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist building relationships with others, as a fear of interacting with them, as a fear of myself within interaction with others – in facing who I am and how I experience myself; all the thoughts, and beliefs, and ideas, and fears that I have constructed throughout my life that now exist as constructs in my mind in relation to interaction and forming/creating relationship with others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have wanted to have few relationships within my life, as a way to protect myself from the negative emotions I have come to believe relationships exists as – as them always turning into arguments or conflict, and thus want to avoid it all together

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that this world is run on relationships and who we are within those relationships defines the purpose of the relationships and whether that relationship is beneficial to others as well as myself, and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist forming the one thing in this world that allows movement in this world that could be best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist creating personal relationship with others, as creating connections, because I feel more secure within myself when I am alone, or with those that I feel most comfortable with

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to form relationships/connections with others because I think there is no reason, and it will just end up not working out, or there will be conflict, or it will be difficult, instead of realizing that I must be willing to and actually work with others in order to fulfill the goals I have for myself and so I must step outside of my comfort zone and get to know others

Self-corrective statements in the blog to follow.

Also within this I see a memory attached to a time when I saw how I would deliberately avoiding relationships with others, like justifying in my mind why I didn't want to spend time getting to know people for real, or creating or sustaining relationships with others, because of the fact that I was 'going to move anyway'. And this time in my life, I was set on moving away from home, to another state, and so saw how within this desire to move, I justified why I didn't have to or should bother with sustaining any relationships with anyone, because I would be moving anyways. So in the next few blogs, I will walk the SF in relation to this memory.



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30 August 2014

365: The Emotional Roller Coaster we Call Life

Recently I went to the state fair, which in my state of Minnesota, is quite a big deal and is anticipated and rejoiced every year around this time as the 'Great Minnesota Get Together'.

And like any fair, rides were a part of the set up. So my sister and I went on a few rides. The last one we went on was quite an interesting experience. It is called Mouse Trap and for the most part, your typically fair roller coaster. Nothing too high or too extreme. Yet I will tell you, coming off the ride I can see where the term 'emotional roller coaster' came from.

I felt like I had just come out of the most rocky, turbulent, conflicted experience/interaction ever, like a bad relationship you refuse to let go of. It was like I was dragged through the ringer, been in a boxing match, and was left spent on the side of the road. I felt like I was 'all over the place' coming off the ride, and it's exactly how I can relate to times in my mind and in my life when I have taken myself on my own 'emotional roller coaster'.

The ride took fast, sharp turns, did a lot of little ups and downs, at one point turned us around and we were riding backwards, not seeing at all where we were heading.

When the ride was finished, all I could see was how much I felt like the times when I have really taking myself for a ride in my mind - like energetically, emotionally, physically drained and wiped out from what just happened. It's like you were sideswiped and left speechless. You are stunned and without any sense of what to do next, or any sense of direction because you are so dumbfounded as to what you just went through. All I could do was breathe - lol.

So for me, it was interesting and I could very much see that is EXACTLY how we exist as the Mind. Where we take ourselves on these ups and downs of energetic (emotional and feelings) highs and lows, where we are all over the place with thoughts and considerations and worries and stress and future projections, and past memories. We cannot stop for just one moment and BREATHE, we just continue to move, running in every which way, changing our direction in a split second, and not sure why we did that. We are even moving forward backwards, we cannot see what is behind us, even though that is the direction we are heading, because in the Mind we are so blind to actual, physical reality and what is actually HERE.

The Mind is chaotic, uncertain, un-directed, bumpy, conflicted, turbulent, high, low, left, right, zig-zagy, running in circles. There is no stability within the mind and there is certainly no calm or rationality in the mind - it is strictly running on energies and driving forces that we are not even aware of, yet it's all done within and as our very participation, our very acceptance and allowance, we we are the one participating in the 'ride' - following whatever comes up in our mind, and trusting whatever our emotions or feelings tells us to experience.

I cannot say that if I had not made the decision to walk the Desteni I Process and incorporate tools of breathing, and self honesty, and writing, and self correction, and grounding myself in physical reality (stopping my participation in thoughts, feelings and emotions), I would not have been able to see so clearly the experience I had on that roller coaster at the fair, and how devastating and consequential it can be on our physical bodies and overall state of being.

So whether it be a relationship, family, or work, emotional roller coasters are not necessary and not 'just a part of life.' We actually have the ability to get off the RIDE, and walk with our two feet on the ground, stable, directive and within calm and clear certainty. There is no need to go for such a ride, as the ride is our creation, our distraction, our amusement we use as entertain ourselves to not have to see what is really going on, and in that seeing what is going on, actually CHANGE the very constitute of our physical living and so our physical reality. We have so easily accepted the idea that who we are are Minds - that we exist as thoughts, feelings and emotions and that life is strictly limited to highs and lows and round-a-bouts that we have no control over, so much we have accepted this idea that we have not realized that we can actually STOP, breathe and no longer participate in the emotional roller coaster we have come to define as life and living. I dare you to try it - next time you see yourself getting on that ride as the emotional roller coaster, and you see you would like to get off - do it. Stop, and get off the ride, firmly plant your feet on the ground and stabilize yourself through no more accepting and allowing yourself to simply be just another passenger within your mind, blindly following what is giving to you as what you must think and how you must feel, but instead, become the driver, the director, the one slowing down and bringing the roller coaster to the end of the ride and putting it into retirement for good.

There is a free online course that assists with this process; in learning how to identify when we are thinking, when we are participating in emotions and feelings, and when we are allowing energy as highs and lows to dictate how we experience ourselves. If you are ready to get off the emotional roller coaster, then try it out for yourself - you will thank yourself because you know what it's like to be caught in a ride you wish you could get off of. Well, with the Desteni I Process, I have seen first hand how I am able to take back power and control over myself, to not let my emotions and feelings run rampant and take me on a ride where later I regret ever going on. I have learned how to stabilize myself in the most tumultuous times, how to start seeing more in practical reality contexts and not through eyes that are filtered with anger, or resentment, or desire, and lust; again the highs and lows of positive and feeling energies; the emotional roller coaster. I have learned that life is not about highs and lows, positives and negatives, goods and bads, which are simply just judgments, but instead life is HERE, stable, certain, trustworthy and when I allow myself to be grounded in physical LIFE and direct myself out of my emotional roller coaster that is my mind, I am more consistently stable, effective, and willing to develop myself in areas that will support me within living my utmost potential, because I am no more accepting and allowing myself to get caught up and dragged around, and ultimately distracted by the rides in the mind that only act to distract.

Get off the ride and get yourself grounded in stable living. After all, the emotional roller coaster is just an illusion.






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29 August 2014

364: How to Live Harmoniously with Others

Keeping on with the topic I have been writing about in the last few blogs, today I want to discuss the point of 'living with others' and the responsibility we have within that.

Obviously creating and inflicting war and destruction on others is not a responsible way of living with others; the carelessness, the lack of concern or even consideration we have in such a move screams with the inhumanity we've allowed on this planet.

So what is going on? Why does it seem as there is no real care for life on this planet? When there is nothing but a vast diversity of life here, we seem to not take notice or care of that. So what is it that we care about? Ourselves? Our individuality? Our power? Our position? Our Life - is that more important than another? I mean are these things even real? And how does such a stance or position effect others around us; those we must LIVE with?

We all must co-exist on a daily basis, our comings and goings very much depend on others doing their part and contributing to the whole so that our world/system can function accordingly. So what is missing from our current situation that produce such things as war, or starvation, or some to have more than enough and others to have barely enough - where we are so clearly not functioning cooperatively and in a sustaining, best for all manner; that we are in fact not considering those around us, those that we live with?

Looking at my own experience and widening it to the greater picture, what we are missing is that point of self-responsibility and accountability. When one's actions become hidden behind a country, or a politic view, or a religious belief, or a back chat/thought in our mind where it's easy to justify why we do what we do - there is no accountability. It's easy to drop bombs when you are not staring into the children that are on the receiving end as it's also easy to talk shit and make judgments about others in our reality in the secrecy of our own minds, or behind their back when we are not staring them straight into the eyes and thus standing accountable and responsible for what we are saying/expressing.

Why and how is it so easy to back chat and talk smack about someone in your mind, waging mini wars in the mind through venomous words that are meant to strike and cause pain? And, how has it become so easy to continue on with war, of actually striking and physically attacking other groups of people, deliberately to cause pain and destruction, and death?

I mean, this planet, this Earth is one big HOME, and together, we are the roommates living in the environment. Are we existing in such a way where the home life is harmonious, where each are self-responsible for themselves, accountable for their actions, and living by a principle that would support in such harmony - as do unto others what you would have unto yourself?

Clearly not - clearly self-interest, ego, and the belief that we are separate, as "my actions do not have a consequence or effect on others", still exists to the extent where we will actually KILL each other; I mean it is a complete disregard for another's Life. Has anyone stopped and wonder what the hell, I mean that is so strange, so unacceptable, so unnecessary when our HOME has the resources and we have the technology to ensure ALL are considered, as equals, in our living environment and that war, starvation, poverty, lack of basic necessities is absolutely, in all ways, unnecessary. We have the ability to create a harmonious living environment for All, so why are we not? And why are more people NOT asking these questions?

Imagine if you were to be living in a house with 2 others, and one does not take into consideration the SHARED environment. They leave a mess where ever they go, they eat all your food, they are up all night making loud noises. I mean this obviously would create tensions in the house, as one is taking into consideration only themselves and thus not being responsible or holding themselves accountable for their participation in the living environment where OTHERS exist as well.

So this goes the same for Earth, as our HOME. There are many others here, and yet there are so many who have no clue as to what it means to live the word responsible, accountable, and considerate. Yet, if each one played their part - took it upon themselves to live in a way where the potential of not only themselves was honored, but then the potential of others, we would have a much different way of the world. Because that is what it means to live your full potential - by holding yourself accountable for who you are, and how you live, and how that effects the rest of the people around you. That is to uplift yourself and so others, because you are directing yourself in such a way where the principle lived is to 'do unto another that you would have done unto you' and 'giving as you would like to receive' - I mean these are principles that are Best for All - and so applying them, and making them a part of our life, day in and day out, we are then in the process of transforming our world to one that is Best for All, and obviously that would then be supporting Life's Potential, as humanity, to flourish.

Obviously one cannot force anyone to change. That change must come from within and who you are, and I can say for myself that it's been something I only learned later in my twenties; what it means to be responsible for myself, to hold myself accountable as a +1 in all situations and to not accept anything less of myself than what I see I am fully capable of. Which is strange in and of itself - that only after 25 years did I finally learn principles that benefit not only ME, but others around me as well, and that when applied, allow me to be a point of support for not only myself, but others as well. Because when I take that point of responsibility unto my self, and I ensure that I live and exist in such a way where I could face any and all beings, and I put myself in the shoes of another, I mean that example has an impact... because it doesn't exist in our world. And so we show another way to life and living, and how the lack of care we have inflicted on each other is not actually our real nature, as we are able to change our nature, simply by changing our perception, our thought patterns, how we interact with others, and how we apply ourselves in a moment to moment living; whether we are diminishing ourselves or living to our potential into the very best version of ourselves. After all, we only have this one life, why not push ourselves to become the BEST we can be, and so support in others being the BEST they can be, and so stop waging wars with each other, stop judging and diminishing each other, stop being selfish and greedy in relation to others, and instead creating an environment for ALL where ALL can develop their potential, and see what is actually here as the vast expression of Life on Earth.

Take the responsibility that is yours to change yourself and so your world. Investigate the Desteni I Process and Living Income Guarantee as the two points that move towards implementing solutions in everyone's life, individually and collectively. We have quite the road ahead of us as we transform our nature from that of inhumane to Real Humanity - so let's get this process started.






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27 August 2014

363: YOU are the Key to Stopping War

In the last few blogs, I had been giving direction and taking responsibility for a particular reaction I had in relation to someone I live with. The titles of each of the blogs are quite specific and relates to a point I often ponder for myself, when taking a look at what is currently going on in the world.

The pattern that manifests War in our World. That is the first blog, and that is the point in seeing how the inner of us all, creates the outer of this world. Our world, our reality is an external manifestation of who each on is within/as themselves. One can see this simply in the fact that when, taking myself as an example, when I feel 'personally attacked' by someone else, the first reaction is to 'fight back' - is to do to them what they have done to me, to 'attack back'. I mean that is clearly how wars work. Or where we think we must display some form of aggression to let another know 'we are serious' and 'we can do harm' and to not mess with us, basically.

So I can see clearly how I am equally responsible for the wars that exist on Earth these days - because it still exists within me. That is then where we can see that WE are responsible for what is HERE, what is happening day to day for the lives of everyone - because internally, we are all participating in the same patterns throughout our days; in our relationships with others people.

I cannot expect to do anything about the Wars in the World until I take responsibility for the Wars in my Mind. So that is of course the starting point always, SELF first - change yourself and you can change the world.

More on war - I often wonder how it is that we continue to accept war as a part of life on Earth - like looking at it objectively and from the 'outside' it's like such a strange thing. It's quite absurd actually - I mean here we are, humans attempting and trying to claim power over others and use violence, death, and destruction to do it. I mean - the point that I consider makes this so absurd is the fact that imagine if countries or nations were young children - would you accept and allow them to use violence against each other? I mean really young, still learning to walk, you see one hit another and you of course say, "No - that is not okay." Because it's not, because we KNOW that violence is NOT the answer, that we can in fact solve our problems with stability, directiveness and through communication; we know that we can and must simply get along and learn how to co-exist peacefully. So what is the deal with us adults? With us humanity as a whole? Why do we continue to accept and allow ourselves and each other to use violence against each other to prove some kind of point, or to remain somehow superior, or to assert our power? I mean - wtf is going on here? It's also like this weird timeline where War is part of the old world, things you read about in history - something you would not consider that we continue to believe we must succumb to when we have advanced so much in other areas. I mean can we not move past our petty bickering and start acting like grown ups, where we actually GROW up and stop diminishing ourselves to fighting when we know that is not the solution?

It is clear we have come far and long enough to see, realize and understand that WAR is ridiculous, unnecessary and absolutely, in all ways, unacceptable. It should simply not exist.

And yet it does.

So what does that imply?

Collectively, as a whole, we as humanity, each on an individual level are still participating in the patterns of war. We each are responsible, as I mentioned previously - we each accept and allow an internal conflict towards others, and ourselves, that then of course that pattern would flow from ourselves and into the greater. So each one is the key - the answer - the solution to stopping War and ridding it from existence completely. Yet it will take all as one to get this done. Can seem daunting, the fact that we require all of humanity to stop the inner wars and thus stop the outer wars - yet here sitting in this life, each of us, is the opportunity to be the +1 that is necessary to actually do this. I realize that I cannot wait for another to stop the wars, and I cannot hope and wish and pray that wars stop, because in that I am missing ME and the responsibility I have to it's creation. So I must stop. And each one must stop, and once we all do, then it stops. The longer we wait, the longer it takes - and if there is any inclination of spite that suggests, 'well they are not going to stop, so I'm not going to stop', there you have the problem. YOU must BE the Change. You must become the responsible one in your Life and show an example of what is means to be the living change, to stop the wars, to stop the violence, to stop the conflicts and instability.

It's is long time due for each one to take inventory and a reflective stance within themselves and who they are in their lives; how they exist in relation to others and how they exist with others, because each interaction is interconnected to the totality of human existence and experience on Earth. Support yourself with taking a step back and seeing the larger picture that is playing out and ask yourself, how can I change within myself what I see here?

If you see how the outer reflects the inner, if you see how you want to go to war with others, if you see how you take things personally, dwell in the anger and emotions, and see that there must be a better way of living - then give yourself the opportunity to learn how to become the change necessary for humanity to grow up, check out DIP Lite, a free course that shows how each one can practically, day to day, physically change and transform themselves and thus their world as a whole.




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362: Accepting the things I cannot Change, and Changing the things I Can

I'm continuing here from the previous blog, and the self correction statements. You can read the start of this series here.

When and as I see myself becoming upset at a thought of how another sees me or defines me, I stop and I breathe and do not allow myself to participate in the thought. I see, realize, and understand that I have no control over how another sees me or perceives me and that the only power of control I have is within who I am in relation to others, and who I am here, within and and as myself. And so I commit myself to stop giving power to others in placing valuing or importance on how I THINK others see/perceive/define me and instead take responsibility and get busy with understanding how I see/define me and so with changing myself, as the power and control I have, of who I am in each moment and to make sure that I am the one that can live with ME in every moment.

When and as I see myself experiencing myself as powerless in relation to how I think others define me or react to me, I stop and I breathe and do not allow myself to participate in the emotion of powerlessness. I see, realize, and understand that within this, I am the one defining me in relation to how I think others are defining me, instead of me valuing myself enough to define who I am based on my living actions in every moment. I commit myself to stop valuing how I think others are defining me and thus use to define myself and instead I commit myself to define who I am within what I accept and allow as the action I take and how I live as the REAL 'who I am' here and so take responsibility for the ME that is in every moment to ensure I am always acting/speaking/expressing in ways that are based on principles and what is best for all

When and as I see myself interpreting another's words about me as a personal attack against me, I stop and I breathe and ground myself in that moment as not accepting and allowing myself to participate in the experience of 'being personally attacked.' I see, realize, and understand that I have the ability to slow myself down and in not taking another's words about me personally, to instead come to an understanding and clarity about who they are and where they are in their own process and so in such a  moment, I commit myself to bring myself back to me here, back to my own process and to see what is moving within me as the responsibility I have within such a moment. Here - not making it 'about them' or 'about me personally', and instead making it about ME as who I am, and what I've accepted and allowed as the participation within my mind and so within the situation as a whole.

When and as I see myself taking another's words about me personally and to from this, go into a 'defense mode' within myself as back chatting about 'I am this' or 'I am not that', I stop and I breathe and see, realize, and understand that I have already participated too much in accepting and allowing the 'taking it personally' reaction to continue. I see, realize, and understand that it's not about making statements in my head about who I am, but to instead LIVE them as my physical expression as who I am in every moment, and so becoming the LIVING words instead of speaking or thinking words of who I am. I commit myself to LIVE the words as who I am instead of thinking and speaking the words of who I am as I see, realize, and understand that physical actions, day to day, moment to moment, clearly show who one is and so I commit myself to stop participation within my mind of defining myself as this or that in relation to what another says and instead practice perfecting myself, my expression, my application of living self-responsible, self-honesty and here for/as all life equally

When and as I see myself becoming overwhelmed with the idea of others having an idea or perception of me, of who I am, that I do not think is accurate, or that paints me in a picture that makes me 'look bad', I stop and I breathe and ground myself in my body, in the moment, and do not allow myself to continue to participate in the emotional energy of being overwhelmed. I see, realize, and understand that within this overwhelming-ness experience - I am indicating to myself I am attempting to control something I have no control over and so here, I see, realize, and understand that getting myself worked up is not going to change anything and that only I can define who I am and although I can do it through how I think/believe others define me, I see, realize, and understand that it is not necessary and it is in fact abdicating the responsibility I have to ME to live for ME and thus face who I am in each moment as the living application which is the real truth of myself, in every single moment. I also see, realize, and understand that a consequence of me accepting and allowing others to have the power/ability to define me is I may not like how they do so, and so instead of reacting to the image and likeness of me through their mind, I commit myself to start valuing me enough to be directive in defining who I am through my living actions - moment to moment, as then I am preventing this point to continue. I commit myself to take back the power I have to define me and who I am and I commit myself to do that according to principles that matter and support me to live to my utmost potential and within the context of what is best for all.

When and as I see myself wanting to attack another as a 'strike back' from an experience of feeling attacked as taking things personally, and so want to make a personal attack back to them, I stop and I breathe and DO NOT allow this of myself as I see, realize, and understand that this is the same pattern that is the justification for war in our world, and so here, I commit myself to stop MY participation in such a pattern that supports war, within and without in this existence, and so no longer accept and allow it within who I am as the existence of my mind, my body, and my living

When and as I see myself resisting becoming and standing humble in relation to not getting caught up in taking things personally, as an attack against me as how I think others see me, and thus want to go to war with them as if 'they' are the problem and deserve to be 'attacked back', I stop and I breathe and let go of this in the moment, to breathe as stabilizing myself HERE within and as my physical body. I see, realize, and understand that to become humble in such a moment is to allow myself to let it go, to understand and so stand in the shoes of another as seeing where they are in their own process, to not take it personally as making it about me as the reason one could be upset with me. And so I commit myself to stop playing the energy game of taking things personally and thinking I must dish out what I think has been deliberately dished to me. I commit myself to instead stabilize myself here within/as breathing and direct myself to become responsible for all that I do and all that I am in realizing that that is specific actions I can take in this type of situation to prevent such reactions within others in the first place.

When and as I see myself defining or making a judgment or having a perception/opinion on others based on one moment or one action or one statement they make, I stop and I breathe and do not allow this of myself as I see, realize, and  understand that I do not like when it's done to me and so this is one way in which I can live the principle of 'do unto another what you would have done unto you,' or 'give as you would receive,' and so here I commit myself to practice patience and understanding with others and their process and that mistakes may happen and that one moment or one incident or one statement does not define who one is, and so I commit myself to live the word understanding as taking into consideration others as I would have others to do me, to understand who I am and that I may make a mistake yet that that does not define who I am as we all have the ability to change, to correct, and to perfect ourselves. And so I commit myself to also live the word patience as allowing one the time to change any points within themselves, also as I would like have done unto me.




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16 August 2014

361: The Responsibility I have when Living with Others

Here I am continuing with the self-corrective statements in relation to the previous blog.

When and as I see myself reacting negatively to what another says to me in the form of gossip, or within such a statement of, "this person said this about you," I stop here and I breathe and do not allow myself to go into any negative reactions, as I see this is the pattern that usually comes with such a statement, and so instead I breathe and make sure that if any reactions move within me or come up within me, I stop and breathe as stabilizing myself HERE, grounded within my physical body and not reacting within my mind as I see, realize, and understand the outflow from such participation and so I commit myself to slowing myself down in moments of communicating with others, especially when one approaches me with any kind of 'gossip' or saying someone said something about me - I commit myself to stop any reactions as not participating within the pattern that I see no longer serves me or what is best for all

When and as I see myself reacting negatively to what another has said about me in relation to how I exist within our living environment, I stop and I breathe and stabilize the reaction that comes up as no longer participating in the pattern of going into defense, as if someone is attacking me, instead I breathe in/as my body and in that moment, assess the words of another and in self honesty, determine whether the words are a valid assessment of who I have been in the living environment, and so from there decide how I can correct myself as I see, realize, and understand that this is a much more practical and 'best for all' approach to such a situation rather than taking things personally and making it more of  conflict then necessary

I commit myself to use the feedback of others, in any shape, way, or form from a point of unconditionally HEARING what words are HERE for me to self-reflect and from there, determine if I am living to my utmost potential in the living environment, which is to consider others as myself and to make sure that is my principle of living in the house with others, as ensuring to prevent any conflicts that are not necessary and so always ensuring I am taking the road of self honesty in making sure that I am doing what is necessary of me, and so if a point is brought up, to address it with stability and clarity, rather than with reactions and emotions

When and as I see myself reacting within my mind in the form of back chat about others in my living environment, I stop and I breathe and do NOT allow myself to participate in the creation of inner/outer war, as I see, realize, and understand that if I am back chatting about others, then I am missing a point of self responsibility and thus must become self honest about what I am accepting and allowing and where my participation has not been in the consideration of others that I live with, as I would like others to consider me, and so I commit myself to not allow myself to back chat about others, but to instead ground myself with breathing and assess myself in self honesty to see where any corrections can be made

When and as I see myself reacting to others as not being more understanding or forgiving with me in relation to my living environment, I stop and I breathe and do not participate in this game of self-pity and basically wanting the recognition for what I have done, and not what I didn't do - instead of being willing to take responsibility for ALL that I do, not just the 'good stuff', and so here I commit myself to take and stand responsible for myself in every moment and for ALL that I do or don't do within my living environment that creates the consequence from which I will have to walk and face and so I commit myself to take the approach of prevention is the best cure, and so consider others within my living environment as I would like them to consider me and so stop any reactions or conflicts from forming through how I apply myself specifically in relation to cleaning up after myself throughout all the areas of the house

When and as I see myself moving from/as the starting point of getting recognition or praise for doing things around the house, I stop and I breathe and stabilize myself in that moment before I move again, as I see, realize, and understand that this starting point is dishonest as it exists within self interest and so I commit myself to instead align my starting point for cleaning up after myself within my living environment to be that of what is practically best for all in the house, and so taking responsibility for my equal participation within the creation of a harmonious and effective living environment

When and as I see myself rushing throughout the house as getting myself ready to go to work, I stop and I breathe and bring myself back to the moment, back to myself HERE, and look around me to ensure that I am leaving my environment in the way in which I found it, as I see, realize, and understand that in this pattern of rushing around to get to work on time, I can potentially leave something behind that could cause a reaction within my housemate and so here, I commit myself to take my time and apply myself in such a way where I am not rushing, but instead here, able to walk moment to moment, aware of what I am doing and how I am leaving the environment in which I am moving through and so clean up after myself as considering others that live with me - here doing unto others as I would have done unto me

When and as I see myself becoming reactive towards others that I define as 'reacting for no reason' or thinking 'they' have a problem, I stop and I breathe and bring myself out of the projection, as in this moment I am doing the very thing in which I am blaming another for, and so I do not accept and allow this of myself, and instead bring myself back to breath, back to me here, back to the responsibility I have always of who I am and how I live and to thus bring through an awareness of other people and who they are within their minds, and their lives, and give the understanding and patience to others that I would like for myself and so I commit myself to not project myself to unto others as blaming them for being reactive, when I realize this is exactly the same point I am participating in and so I commit myself to become responsible for me in every moment and to ensure I am giving to others what I would like to receive, which is patience and understanding and the time to change myself in the ways in which I see I am able to

To be continued...




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14 August 2014

360: The Pattern in us All that Manifests War

Yesterday I woke up to a message saying that one had made a comment about me that did not portray me in the best of way. I reacted. In writing out the point for myself to see what I was reacting about specifically - here is the self forgiveness that came from it:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react negatively when X said to me that Y mentioned to them that I never clean up after myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into defense mode when finding out that Y mentioned to X that I never clean the bathroom, because in this instance I didn't, I had forgot to before leaving to work, and so upset with myself for not slowing down and ensuring I was taking responsibility for myself in every area of the house, which includes to clean up after myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react within the back chat of, what’s Y's problem, why do they do that, and then become so angry and frustrated within myself that 'they' are not more understanding in terms of me cleaning up after myself, and take notice that I've in fact been doing it, yet this one time I missed it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do what is expected of me, as an equal in the house with my other roommates, from the starting point of getting recognition, instead of it being a common sense, practical application that supports in an overall efficient and harmonious living environment for all, and so taking responsibility for my equal participation and use of the house I share with others and so not needing others to recognize 'what I do' but simply doing it because it's necessary to be done

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think Y has got a problem because they reacted to me not cleaning up after myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not clean the bathroom after I used it because I was in a rush to get to work, instead of applying myself in such a way where I have plenty of time to get ready for work, as well as clean up after myself

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to perfect myself within always ensuring I clean up after myself as to make sure that I am not causing unnecessary reactions within other people, as I see, realize, and understand that others do not have the same point of reference towards their mind and thus are more inclined to become reactive towards such points and so here seeing my responsibility to direct myself in such a way to not cause unnecessary reactions in others since I know this type of situation can trigger reactions, I can prevent them through applying myself diligently in my own responsibility

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become upset at the thought of Y defining me according to not cleaning up after myself in this one moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel powerless in relation to how others define me or react to me, instead of not valuing or defining me according to how others define me and instead me valuing me enough to define myself and thus defining who I am within what I accept and allow as the actions I take/how I live

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to interpret Y mentioning to X that I never clean up after myself as an attack against me, and thus take it personally, instead of stopping and breathing in that moment and understanding where Y is in their process in relation to their mind and thus in that moment, bring me back to me here, as breath and see what is moving within me as the responsibility I have to the situation 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take personally what others say about me or think about me, instead of no longer allowing that to have power over me in terms of engaging in thoughts and back chats that suggest “I am not that” or “I am this” – here realizing it’s not about making statements in my head about who I am, but instead LIVING them as my physical expression of who I am, as what I accept and allow each moment and thus becoming living words as then I am no longer feeling like I have to speak words of who I am, it is instead clear in my LIVING application/expression

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become overwhelmed with the idea of others having an idea of me that I do not think is accurate and to within this, think and believe me getting worked up is going to change anything – instead of bringing myself back to myself within realizing that only I can define who I am, and I can do that through how others define me, yet it’s not necessary and it’s absolute separation and abdication of the responsibility I have to ME, as then I am giving others the power to define me and thus abdicating the responsibility to who I am here, in every moment - so here a consequence to giving others the power to define me through giving value to how others see me is I then react when their image of me is not what I 'like' - which is a point that can be prevented through bringing back the power within me to define who I am according to principles that matter and support me to live what is best best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to attack back when I feel attacked as taking things personally, and make a personal attack towards someone else – instead of realizing this is the same pattern that is the justification for war, and so here, I stop my participation in the patterns that support war within this existence, as I no longer accept and allow it within me as the existence of my mind/body/living

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist becoming and standing humble in relation to not getting caught up in how I think others see me, such as Y becoming upset that I did not clean up after myself, and instead let it go and understand others and their process and realizing it’s not about me that Y is so upset, yet I make it about me when I take it personally – and so I stop playing the energy game of taking things personally, and dishing out what I think has been dished to me, and instead stabilize myself here within/as breathing and direct myself to become responsible for all that I do, here realizing that is specific actions I can take in this type of situation to prevent such reactions within others in the first place

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define others based on one moment or one action or one statement they make and to within this, become upset when it’s done unto me, instead of correcting this point as doing unto others what I would like have done unto me and that is for others to understand that mistakes happen, and that one moment or one incident or one statement does not define who one is, and to thus have understanding in terms of where one is, patience within allowing one the time to change any points within oneself, and thus giving this as I would like to receive







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07 August 2014

359: How does Comparison and Competition fuel Conspicuous Consumption?

Competition and Comparison. The earliest experience or memory that I have to comparison is to a girl in my first grade class.

Her name was Tiffany. She was pretty, and skinny and always had nice clothes. I would compare myself to her and saw myself as inferior. Everyone seemed to like her, and I always felt like I was on the outside and in the shadow. I felt inferior to her. I felt like because everyone liked her, they didn't have ‘room’ for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to Tiffany, and to within this, see myself as inferior

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define Tiffany as superior to me based on what she wore and to within that, think my clothes were not as nice

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define Tiffany as more popular than me, and to within this, define myself as less than her

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define Tiffany as better looking than me, and to within this, experience myself as inferior to her

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to Tiffany, and see her as better than me based on all these materialistic things

What’s interesting about this memory of comparison at such a young age, is how it’s all based on physically how she looked; what she wore, what her hair looked like, how I saw her as 'more attractive'. I mean everything about her that I compared myself to, as being inferior, was in relation to a surface image and presentation. I don’t have any recollection of speaking to her or spending time with her and so getting to know her as a being. Instead it was like I saw her from across the classroom, and the consensus seemed to be that she was ‘the best’ and everyone liked her and so naturally, everyone else fell short to become second best.

I can also see how this would trigger a point of competition, because ultimately we are driven by survival, and if our materialistic world is based on someone being the most attractive and having the nicest clothes, and the nicest things (which is obviously based on one's wealth), than of course one would within themselves make the decision to do whatever is necessary to fulfill such a position. So it’s almost like there is then a motivation sparked from comparison, I mean I can see at least from this young age, where one then would become determined to ‘fit in’ and attempt and try to ‘keep up with the jones’. This statement is in relation to conspicuous consumption, which I only recently started to understand, but basically it is where we as consumers compare ourselves to others, see others as having nicer things, or the latest gadget, and within ourselves we decide ‘we must keep up’. And this is even when it's not practical – I mean one can easily, as I did, put themselves into credit card debt, simply because for example, they want that $120 pair of jeans that they think once they have, they will be fulfilling their position of ‘fitting in’, and ‘keeping up with the standards’. And this then is not a one time occurrence, there are many things we must 'own' in order to be seen visibly as superior.

It’s interesting because I did not necessarily see how before comparison, which is so readily obvious within all of ourselves – I mean c’mon, you have seen yourself compare yourself to another in some shape or form – and how that drives the consumer frenzy we see today, such as black Friday. I mean even school shopping – that time a year rolls around, and all of a sudden we feel we must buy a whole new wardrobe, because apparently last’s years clothes, although they may fit and still be in good condition, is deemed ‘last season’ or ‘old’, and must be replaced. This is one of the contributing factors to our absolutely atrocious ways of using up the Earth’s resources. When we buy our products, our technology, our clothing, we don’t consider where those materials came from, how they were created, whose hands put them together. Instead, we become infatuated to not be second best, to stay ‘up to par’ with the rest of the populace (in the wealthy countries that is), and disregard the consequences of our spending and consumption – and that the starting point from this exists within our childhood, where we compared ourselves to that one girl who we defined as better than us, simply because of her clothes, her hair, overall how to looked and so how that translated into her monetary status. It’s fascinating how we see these moments as so innocent in our lives, yet how they so dramatically impact who we are, and why we exist the way that we do, and the consequences it has on the rest of our environment, for the rest of our lives.

Thus – this is where self-responsibility comes in. For each to investigate who they are within their shopping habits, their spending habits, their consumption habits – whether they are wanting to buy simply to buy, to be equal to others and that apparent valuable standard that as been set very deliberately by the marketing firms, or are we aware of ourselves enough to see that we have allowed such a point of comparison with each other throughout our lives, and so competition with each other, to the point where we don’t care how much it costs us, or the environment, or other human being’s well being so as long as we are not seen as inferior or less than the one next to us that we have come to form an idea about, that somehow they are more valuable and worthy of life simply because of the kind of car they drive, the style of clothes they wear, and the kind of phone they have. We will have to come to realize that the value in who we are is not placed in material things, but more the material in which our body is made of, the substance of this earth – that is the Real Matter that Matters, and that we have in this moment, completely disregarded.

So – investigate who you are in why you ‘want what you want’, and see for yourself if you coming from a point of comparison, competition, and ‘needing’ to fit into the standard that has been given to you on a silver platter by those that will profit the most from your lack of awareness and self-honesty.






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04 August 2014

358: Back to Basics - The Point of Process

Here, the commitment statements in relation to the previous blog and self forgiveness for the 'want' to hold onto emotional reactions, and essentially to not let go of me as the mind as thoughts, emotions and feelings and instead allow myself to change in a moment.

When and as I see myself reacting within an emotional energy/experience and 'want' to stay in the reaction and not stop myself, I stop and I breathe and ground myself in that moment in my physical body. I see, realize, and understand that the want to remain reacting is a belief that my experience towards another is right and simply accepting it and not questioning it and so here I commit myself to change me in that moment as stopping and taking self-responsibility for my participation in any conflict and thus the reaction I am attempting to stay within/hold onto to

When and as I see myself not stopping myself in a moment of reaction, despite the awareness of me in self honesty that sees I have an opportunity and the ability to stop in this moment, I do stop myself and I breathe and not give no more considerations or contemplation to this 'want' of not stopping myself, as I see, realize and understand that that awareness as me in that moment that sees I have the opportunity and ability to stop my participation in an emotional reaction as back chats and judgment towards others, is what I must nurture and honor and not the mind as thoughts, feelings and emotions and so here I commit myself to no longer suppress the awareness as me in the moment of seeing I am able to stop myself through breathing and thus no longer accept and allow myself to continue to exist in conflict within myself and in relation to others

When and as I see myself wanting to nurture the mind as emotional reactions, I stop and I breathe and ground myself in my physical body and to the realization/awareness of me in that moment that SEES I am able to stop and here is the opportunity to do so, and so I commit myself to take the opportunities available to me to change in the moment when a correction is required as I see, realize, and understand that this is what the process is about and what it will take to substantiate my awareness in self honesty here as my living application and let go of the consciousness of the mind as self interest and so in separation of Life

When and as I see myself justifying an emotional reaction within me in relation to another after a disagreement or conflict, as the 'want' to remain the same in that moment, I stop and I breathe and do not allow this of myself as I see, realize and understand that I am only accepting myself as one who judges and blames and attempting to be right and prove to myself another is wrong and so simply trusting this experience of me and so here I commit myself to see, realize and understand the various ways in which I deceive myself to not have to take self-responsibility and thus change me - I commit myself to stop expecting/needing others to change before I make the change my-Self

When and as I see myself hindering myself within my self correction process as actually transcending the mind as wanting to hold onto the want that comes up in not stopping myself in the moment I see I am in an emotional reaction, I stop and I breathe and do not allow this 'fall' of me back into the mind, and the energy experience, as it's only me attempting to hold onto the apparent power I believe I have in back chatting about others and how they are wrong and I am right, and so here I commit myself to no longer hinder me as the process of change when the moment of opportunity arises, as the awareness of me in self honesty that sees here I must be the change and no longer participate in the emotional reaction, and so I commit myself to stop myself, regardless of the 'want' and instead live by the commitments I have made as the process of self-transformation

When and as I see myself existing within an 'I am right' and 'they are wrong' experience or state of mind, I stop and I breathe and flag this moment for myself as a support point to see that I am accepting and allowing myself to hold onto a reaction and not let it go. I see, realize and understand that within this, I am simply stating that "I don't have to change or take responsibility for me'. And so here I commit myself to use this as a reference for myself to see I have an opportunity to let go of the ego as the mind that defines me as right and others as wrong, and thus not taking responsibility for ME, myself HERE. So I commit myself to take responsibility for ME in every moment as no longer holding onto reactions that then say "I am right" and "they are wrong" and instead focus on me, and what I am doing, and who I am, and how I live as the responsibility that I have and am committed to in this Life.

When and as I see myself accepting and allowing the 'want' within me in not letting go of an emotional reaction, I stop and I breathe and ground myself in that moment, as my physical body, into physical reality as I see, realize and understand that this 'want' is the positive feeling that I create after experiencing a negative emotion, and so simply just circling within myself as the polarity of positive and negative energy. I realize this is not life or living, this is me following the carrot on the stick in terms of 'how I feel' - instead I commit myself to become the director of me in every moment and no longer follow the ups and downs as the mind as thoughts, feelings and emotions - I commit myself to get off the ride I take myself on when participating in the mind and instead walk with what is here as what is real, the physical reality - and I commit myself to do this to practice living and walking breath by breath - to breathe in stability and consistency and thus able to direct myself and my world effectively as I am no longer taking a ride in the mind

When and as I see myself not quantifying my process of change as stopping myself when and as I see myself reacting in emotion and feeling energy, I stop and I breathe as I see, realize and understand that the awareness is here and so it's my responsibility to honor myself as that self honest awareness of the opportunities I have to no longer give in to the mind and give up on myself in seeing, realizing and understanding that the want is a form of resistance to the actual moment of change, and so here, I commit myself to embrace it and walk into/as that moment of change as physically taking a breath in and breathing out, and doing so until I am STABLE, and thus no longer revert back to the same old me that exists in separation of all life, where I create wars and justify my wars towards others within my mind. I commit myself to walk myself into/as life, as physically breathing here and being in this physical reality, and as my physical body and so live the commitment I have made to myself when I said I would walk this process

When and as I see myself not living my commitment to myself and all life equally as not taking the opportunity that arise as my awareness to stop and change me in a moment as the self-corrective application, I stop and I breathe and slow myself way down to instead embrace this awareness that is me, and that is HERE in the moment. I see, realize and understand that when I embarked on this journey to life and this process of transformation, I saw the common sense of self change and how that effects all life equally and so here I commit myself again to live the responsibility I have to myself, and to others, to change myself in these moments when my awareness comes through to STOP in the moment of any reaction, to quantify my process, and no longer accept myself as simply an energy addict as the mind and instead birth myself as life in the physical, equal to and one with All physical Life.




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