14 April 2014

336: Who am I within the Time Available?

I will continue on with the series of blogs I am writing, wherein I am correcting this relationship I had created towards responsibilities, specifically homework, the time necessary for that and how I created ways in which to compromise myself actually in holding onto a positive energy and thus not 'freeing up' the time I was getting this energy fix for more supportive actions.

Tonight's blog is in relation to the outflow of the starting point I had created towards my responsibilities. Within a negative perceptions/reaction towards my responsibilities, I then turned to find the outlet - the release - the point in which I could experience the opposite polarity of what I had actually accepted and allowed of/as myself in relation to responsibilities - which was moments of entertaining myself with series and online games. It was like little rewards I was giving myself throughout the day for 'getting through' the responsibilities I had. In this, I see I created a habit that I actually programmed within myself to automatically think about and want to go and play a game or watch a series after completing some responsibility in my day. So it was a pattern I developed wherein I would do some work, and then reward myself. Do some work, reward myself.

While I see nothing wrong with entertainment such as playing online games or watching a series here and there, the point that must be investigated is the self honesty within it - who am I within what I am doing? And so I can see 'who I am' as a being that is accepting and allowing the idea and thus action that when I complete responsibilities, which are so 'horrible and not pleasant', then I can go and do something that I find pleasant as a way to balance out this whole point. So in this, one can see I was not actually directing myself within going to watch a series or playing an online game, it was an 'urge' that I created in thinking and believing I 'needed' to do this, "I need a break", "these responsibilities are no fun, time to do something enjoyable." And so I see/realize and understand that because of how I was approaching my responsibilities, I was within that, creating this opposite point within me, of wanting to take breaks and let go a bit and do something that was more pleasant. Because I was 'forcing myself through' my responsibilities as this thing "I had to do", I wanted to do something "I wanted to do" that I did not feel forced to do, I wanted to relax. The thing is - anything we do can be pleasant, the problem comes in when we define one this as better or worse than another, or more strenuous, or when we are not looking at what is practical for us to do in our daily lives. Instead, we have accepted ourselves as always wanting to have a good time, doing things that are not really supportive or create anything of real worth in this world. That is not necessarily practical, as we can see this world has got a lot of things needing to be addressed and sorted out - so who am I to want to entertain and distract myself all the time while there is a world here asking for attention.

And so here, realizing the actual responsibility I have within my responsibilities and how I entertain myself. It's the 'me' within what I am doing that requires a change, to make sure I am not following some program within my mind that suggests "I can do whatever I want", simply because I had created this idea that "I have to do things I don't want to do." The point is there are things to be done to create certain outcomes, to get to certain places, to get to know ourselves and our world and so that requires priority attention.

The consequence of this creation is the compromise I then accept and allow as no longer willing to add to my schedule that which do in fact support me within my self-development process because I have 'used up all my time' with this polarity play out - responsibility and reward, and so instead, I want to hold onto things that do not support me, but only support this mental construct within my mind.

Okay, so I will go into the self forgiveness for this specific aspect of this play-out in the blog post to come.






Featured Artwork by: Andrew Gable and Kelly Posey

The Journey to Lifers

Equal Life Foundation

Living Income Guaranteed 

Take Responsibility for what is HERE as this world, within AND without:
Desteni
DIP Lite Course (FREE)
DIP Pro
Eqafe (Self Perfecting interviews, books, music, etc)

For your Info:
Destonian Wiki

13 April 2014

335: Changing My Nature within Responsibilities

Here I am continuing from the previous post, wherein I applied the self forgiveness for the relationship I have created towards my responsibilities, mostly in relation to my current education process, wherein a lot of time is used for homework/studying.

Here I will redefine the relationship through commitment statements for how I will now apply myself within my 'responsibilities' and will continue in the next posts with self forgiveness and self corrective and commitment statements in relation to the positive relationship towards entertainment I created, as an outflow of this initial negative relationship to responsibilities/homework and also the excuses I then ended up settling on as to why I could not add more to my schedule.

Okay, here we go:

When and as I see myself seeing/experiencing my homework as the responsibilities I have to do daily as something that is 'too much' or 'more than me' and thus feel inferior to 'all the stuff I have to do' - I stop and I breathe and bring myself out of the mind as being overwhelmed and instead back to the simplicity of breathing, back to my body, back to the moment wherein I am here and thus have the ability to direct myself to do one thing at a time, as I see/realize/understand that when I look at ALL that I have to do within a time-frame that is more than my immediate present or even immediate future, then I am separating myself from me here and thus separating myself from what I am practically able to do within the time I have HERE, and so I commit myself to slow myself down within breathing and instead focus on what is required of me in that moment, in that day or within the next few days as to not make it 'more' than what is required of me at that moment

I commit myself to take it 'one thing/point at a time' so that I am looking at practical reality and not unnecessarily creating conflict and friction within myself as to look at what else I must do that is not necessarily possible in that moment and so I commit myself to take it one breath at a time, when moving myself within the homework/responsibilities that I have and to make sure that I am giving all of my attention into the homework that I am working with IN THE MOMENT and thus not going into my mind and projecting into the future homework "I still have to do" - I keep it simple and within what is practical for me to get done within the time available to me

When and as I see myself resisting doing my responsibilities such as homework, within the starting point of seeing it as having 'no choice' and thus feeling 'forced' and resisting this force, I stop and I breathe and ground myself in my body and in the physical reality as to slow myself down and thus stop the ways in which I am seeing my responsibilities such as homework, as I see/realize/understand that I am within this, wanting and expecting certain results without putting in the time and effort necessary to actually create those results and so I commit myself to walk one day at a time, one point at a time as walking the necessary steps to accumulate the end result that will manifest through my process of taking action and being committed and consistent within that

I commit myself to stop thinking things will and can magically just appear without the necessary physical actions that require my self direction and self movement to do and so I commit myself to work with physical reality in how things actually manifest, which is not in the ways in which I've believed them to be - through fantasizing or hoping or expecting - I commit myself to realize it takes me being here, physically working with what is here as my education process and thus applying myself within my responsibilities such as homework to 'get it done' and create the outcome that I would like to see and so I commit myself to stop expecting results without being the one that creates those results

When and as I see myself accepting and allowing 'wants' to direct me in relation to school/education as 'not wanting to do it' or 'wanting to do this instead' - I stop and I breathe and bring myself out of the mind as the desire energy and ground myself within my body and thus physical reality wherein I can asses whether my wants are practical or not, or simply based on something that is not REAListic such as wanting to do well in school without actually applying myself and so I commit myself to, when and as I am allowing myself to be directed within 'wants', to stop and breathe and assess whether the wants are practical or not and if not, to let them go as I see/realize/understand that my wants do nothing except distract me from what is necessary to be done and so I commit myself to work with practical wants and not mind wants that only fuel self interest and the already ways in which I've established myself within/as this world that I have come to see and realize no longer support me within the direction I am taking and that is to become self directive and no longer following wants and desires within the mind

When and as I see myself experiencing myself negatively in relation to responsibilities such as school work - I stop and I breathe and bring myself out of the reaction and back here to my body and thus this physical reality and not allow myself to participate within such a reaction as I see/realize/understand that I am taken advantage of what is here for me in terms of my process of education as a way to get to know myself, to slow myself down within, to fully engage and enjoy and appreciate and thus not having to have this feeling as if I am being forced through it like I must just get it over with as I see/realize and understand that this is also not supporting me to be fully engaged in the process I am currently walking within school, as I am only giving enough to 'get me through' and thus actually sabotaging myself within my current education - I commit myself to slow myself when/as I see myself creating conflict or friction within my school work and instead, walk slowly but surely within all that is necessary for me and thus being here with myself, within this process, to truly engage and appreciate and take advantage of the opportunity I have of getting to know myself within this education process as I also see/realize/understand here that it's another point of support to ground me within physical reality, more actions I can take in practicing breathing, being here, directing myself, getting things done and thus becoming responsible within all that I do

I commit myself to change the relationship I have towards school work as not seeing it separate from me but instead as an outflow of me and thus an extension of myself that will reflect who I am within it and thus I commit myself to push myself, as I see I am able, to not accept anything less than what I am capable of and thus supporting myself to expand and grow and develop within/as this education process





Featured Artwork by: Jeanne Kenney

The Journey to Lifers

Equal Life Foundation

Living Income Guaranteed 

Take Responsibility for what is HERE as this world, within AND without:
Desteni
DIP Lite Course (FREE)
DIP Pro
Eqafe (Self Perfecting interviews, books, music, etc)

For your Info:
Destonian Wiki


11 April 2014

334: Victimizing Myself within my own Decision

In the previous blog post, I was discussing this point of 'time' and how I was using the excuse of 'no time' or 'not enough time' as the reason I had not yet incorporated a new action in my day to day living, although it was something I had been thinking about doing for some time and essentially saw the support of it and did want to do it.

So while writing this out, I realized that I did in fact have the time, as the physical reality as my actions showed that I was using my time for certain things that were not necessary and could be exchanged for this new point I wanted to add to my schedule. So that is the first point of support or the first point I realized within this is that I can trust the physical reality - my physical action and that the thoughts or back chats coming up within my mind that tell me "I don't have enough time" is not valid because in physical reality it was evident that I in fact did. So a point of support for myself and others - don't trust the thoughts/back chats/ideas in your mind - investigate it, check with your physical actions/physical reality for the truth of a situation and use that as a guide in terms of how to direct yourself in your life.

Writing more about this point I realized that I had created this relationship towards my responsibilities within a starting point of a negative experience wherein I was not seeing it from the perspective of self-support and what is necessary to be done, it was as if I was looking at it as something I was 'forced' to do, and in that feeling as if I had no choice and so pushed myself through the responsibilities, yet not clearly as a self-directive statement of who I am, instead I was almost like victimizing myself to my responsibilities and so even almost having like a resentment towards them. From there, I created the polarity relationship towards entertainment wherein to get that positive experience that I did not have towards my responsibilities, I instead turned to entertainment as the release point for this whole polarity play-out. So once I 'pushed myself through' my responsibilities, I would reward myself for doing what I didn't want to do with the positive experience of entertaining myself as if I was 'letting go' and able to relax.

So here I will go into the self forgiveness for the relationship I created towards my daily responsibilities and the outflow from that as being this relationship towards entertainment as well as the excuses I was using to not asses my physical actions as an indicator of whether I had the time to add this new point into my schedule or not, and instead simply trusted my mind that suggested I did not have the time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a negative experience towards my responsibilities as seeing it as 'so much' and 'too much to get done' and within this, seeing it as separate from me here, as something that is bigger than me and more than me and not seeing it as an outflow of/as me and to within this, feel inferior to all the things needing to be done in my day - instead of seeing/realizing/understanding that my 'responsibilities' are actions that support me in accumulating specific goals within my life - such as homework, which everything needed to be done for a class is the process or journey that I must walk to get to the goal and in general, one of the purposes of my education, which is to get a degree and so within that, seeing it is necessary for me to do the homework and apply myself within the homework and not something that "I have to do" but something that is necessary to be done in order to complete my education and so is something practical and actually support me in my overall process of self-discovery; getting to know myself, as well as getting to know our world through my process of education

And so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist my responsibilities as something I don't have a choice within, thinking and believing I am forced to do my responsibilities, such as homework, instead of seeing/realizing/understanding that it was I who made the decision to go to college and so it was my decision to walk the necessary process and steps that are required for me to fulfill the requirement for my degree - I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want the credit or end result of something without taking the necessary steps, doing the work and putting in the time and effort to actually get it done - here realizing that in physical reality, it takes action and commitment to do the things necessary for such outcomes, as things do not magically appear by themselves and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect certain results without wanting to apply myself in actually doing what is necessary to be done to get those results

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a starting point, towards my responsibilities such as homework, within a negative experience/relationship wherein I see them as something "I don't want to do" and to within this, think I don't have a choice in the matter, I "Have to do it anyways" and so from here, push myself through as forcing myself to do it, even when I don't want to and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept such a state or experience in relation to my responsibilities without questioning what it is that I 'don't want to do' or have this negative experience towards it about, realizing that it's not about the homework or the other responsibilities I have - it is in fact about me and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as a victim or without choice in relation to homework and other responsibilities and to thus, move myself through these points within an experience of resentment or lack of real attention and effort as I am doing 'only what is necessary' and thus not giving it my all in terms of putting myself completely and totally into and as my responsibilities and thus completely engaging myself within the current process I walk in relation to education and other responsibilities

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in and trust my 'not wanting to do all of this stuff' as something that is valid and so allowing wants to direct me instead of assessing what is practical within physical reality and what is necessary to do in terms of the current process I am walking in relation to school and so I forgive myself that i Have never accepted and allowed myself to question completely, and totally my 'want's in relation to what I do during my day as to ensure my 'wants' and desires or energies are not directing me, but I am directing me here, physical within the actions I take and the steps necessary for me to accomplish while I am busy within the process of completing my education

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in general see my responsibilities such as school/education within a negative context wherein I have separated myself from my education process as if it's something 'happening to me' and not something I am directing myself within and as and to from there, create a relationship where I am not completely and fully engaging myself within all that is necessary for me to do within my responsibilities, such as school, as I am moving myself through it simply to get it over with, this constant friction and struggle to 'just get it done and over with' instead of something I can enjoy, appreciate, slow myself down within and really participate in the process that I am currently walking in relationship to responsibilities such as school/homework/education

Commitment statements in the next blog...




Featured Artwork by: Desteni Artists

The Journey to Lifers

Equal Life Foundation

Living Income Guaranteed 

Take Responsibility for what is HERE as this world, within AND without:
Desteni
DIP Lite Course (FREE)
DIP Pro
Eqafe (Self Perfecting interviews, books, music, etc)

For your Info:
Destonian Wiki



01 April 2014

333: It's not Really About Time...

Yesterday, while doing my writings, I found an interesting and cool point of support when looking at a specific back chat within my mind, the idea/statement of "I don't have enough time." This was in relation to incorporating a new point for myself within my weekly schedule and while I have considered adding this new point of responsibility/commitment to my week for awhile now, the one point that has been used as a resistance or justification as to why 'I can't' is because of this time point - thinking and believing I don't have enough time.

While writing this out, what I noticed within the last week was that while I was satisfied with how I was moving through the points during my day and so overall my week, there were many moments wherein I went to entertain myself. Now, even though I was getting through everything else that was priority and in that, satisfied with my application - I noticed that there were many moments where my 'time' was filled in ways in which I could use for this other/new point I have been considering adding to my schedule.

So what does this reveal to me? I would not have existed within the back chat of, "there is not enough time" if I was in fact utilizing my time effectively.

While I am busy entertaining myself for purposes that do not support me - here I mean, there is nothing wrong with 'entertainment' as watching a movie or TV series or playing an online game, yet one's starting point within such an activity reveal whether one is being self honest or not. I was not entertaining myself from the starting point of self honesty - it was based within a starting point of resistance and wanting to escape the various responsibilities I have and so I created this entertainment point as a way to justify my relationship towards my responsibilities as being 'too much' and feeling slightly 'overwhelmed' and so instead of facing and sorting out this relationship towards the responsibilities I have, I instead moved myself through them, yet within the reaction of "I have to do it anyway" and from there, created this entertainment point of 'getting me through' wherein I would take many breaks to soothe myself as 'letting myself rest'. So this indicate that I am/was not clear in even my starting point for how I was moving through my responsibilities and instead was in a way, forcing myself through, pushing myself through to 'just do it already' and so not a clear statement of self - of who I am and what I accept and allow, and thus as a directive decision within myself to move me, instead it was an energy movement of an idea that suggested, "I have no choice, I have to do this, let's just get this over with." And so then created this polarity point as how I was entertaining myself to balance out this point within me.

So that is interesting.. because actually, while writing this out yesterday, I did not see this doing responsibility/entertainment polarity play out - instead I was strictly looking at how I was using time as an excuse to not add something to my schedule, when in fact it will support me within most of the other things I am busy with these days, and how even though I was telling myself within my mind that I did not have enough time, in physical reality - my behavior suggested I in fact do have enough time, that time was not the problem, it was more how I was utilizing my time.

So cool to see this point open up more, in how I created this polarity relationship to my responsibility (negative) and entertainment (positive). I will continue with this point in the blog to follow.





Featured Artwork by: Kelly Posey and Marlen Vargas Del Razo
The Journey to Lifers

Equal Life Foundation

Living Income Guaranteed 

Take Responsibility for what is HERE as this world, within AND without:
Desteni
DIP Lite Course (FREE)
DIP Pro
Eqafe (Self Perfecting interviews, books, music, etc)

For your Info:
Destonian Wiki