As I was sitting outside tonight, reflecting on my past week, I saw the most conflict I had was in relation to this word approval, wherein I still accept and allow myself to believe approval must come from something outside of myself from either my relationship/partner, my parents/family, or my work. Even in the approval of others, as my fear of others not accepting me, I am accepting and allowing this belief that approval MUST come from something or someone outside of myself.
So in seeing what I have experienced this past week, I see the solution that is necessary is for me to redefine this word Approval. Instead of seeing/defining it as something that another must give me, or that comes from something that I do as statues-definition, I must realize that approval must come from within and as who I am, as how I live; that what actually matters is that I approve of myself. And if I am not approving of myself, if I am not living Approval, as who I am in a physically, visible way, FOR myself, which is thus me in separation of the WORD approval, than obviously I will seek it from outside of myself because I have not yet ALLOWED it within/as myself.
And this is what I see in my life. This constant search for approval FROM others. Instead of it coming from ME.
So - in my life, I have defined this word as first something that another person must give me, or that society must give me; that the feedback I get from others suggest that THEY approve of me and who I am, then I believe I am able to 'have' approval. When in reality, I can see clearly whether I am worthy of approval, and I see that can only come from living principles that are best for all, and so best for myself. So I absolutely determine, in all ways, whether I am living Approval - by proving to myself that I will and am living/expressing my utmost potential.
Also, I have defined this word to have a positive-energy charge, where it's like this 'good thing' when one gets approval. So it has this energetic experience when I interpret other's actions or words or experience towards me as being 'approving'. Then I am constantly seeking PROOF that I am okay, good enough, and accepted. Instead of SEEING that the proof I am looking for of/as approval is revealed/expressed in my thoughts, words, and deeds.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define approval in separation of myself here
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that approval must come from something or someone outside of myself, such a my partner/relationship, or my parents/family, or the type of work that I do
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that society as a whole must approve of me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly attempt to PROVE myself to others in order to get their approval
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I must prove myself to others
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that approval comes from something outside of myself
I forgive myself that I have not yet allowed myself to LIVE the WORD approval as who I am, in every moment, as my living expression and thus no longer participate in the belief that I need something or someone outside of me HERE to approve of me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if another accepts or approves of me, then that proves I am acceptable or good enough
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question this word and world of approval wherein everyone is in a constant state of trying to prove their worthiness and value, because we have separated ourselves from the REAL value as LIFE as ALL in equality, and instead placed it in things and objects that we can buy and consume
I forgive myself that I have not realized that I can express approval as who I am and thus no longer fight for it and seek for it outside of myself
I forgive myself that I have not yet allowed myself to re-define the word APPROVAL as who I am in how I express myself, and how i live within/as principles, as the REAL proof that I am of life and for life as what is best for all
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give a false definition to the word approval in seeing it as something positive that comes with a positive experience and so seek it from others to provide me with this feeling of being approved
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I must prove myself to be worthy of life instead of realizing I have accepted an idea within humanity that life must prove itself as worthy and that it is not intrinsically worthy AS LIFE in equality and oneness simple by the mere fact that it is HERE, it is physical and it is Equal to All
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define approval as an image in my mind of others smiling at me, and praising me for what I do and who I am
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that if others don't approve of me, then I am unworthy as an equal
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define approval to be something that is of a standard that has no grounding in actual, physical life or living but instead exists as an image within the minds of men that have created a picture of what is to be 'approved' that only continue to perpetual and fuel a cycle of beliefs that do not in fact honor physical life or living, but instead an energetic feeling
Websters Dictionary defines approval as the following:
: the belief that something or someone is good or acceptable : a good opinion of someone or something
: permission to do something : acceptance of an idea, action, plan, etc.
I have lived this word as the belief that something or someone OUTSIDE OF MYSELF must tell me/show me that I am good or acceptable - instead of giving/gifting this to myself.
So here I am bringing the word back to ME, giving myself permission to do something, which is to approve of ME, self-approval. I give myself permission to be here, to be EQUAL to all others, not more then or less then, but simply Equal as Life. I give myself permission to stop needing or looking for approval/permission from others, as the authority of me, and instead direct myself as my own self-authority to determine who I am, my self-expression, and so how I live in each moment.
When and as I see myself looking for approval from others as my relationship, or through family and friends, I stop and I breathe and ground myself back to ME Here. I see, realize, and understand that when I am looking for approval outside of myself, it implies I am not living/giving it of/as myself and so I commit myself to ground myself in the living of the word approval, as giving myself permission to be here, to accept myself, to be EQUAL to all others as Life and thus honoring myself within my expression, in every moment of breath.
I commit myself to stop believing that approval must come from something outside of Me, My-Self
I commit myself to practical living of self-approval through giving myself the time to get to know myself, my strengths and weakness, to not judge myself, and to instead unconditionally embrace ME as an equal part of/as Life and so participate as the +1 I am in creating substantial change within this One Life I am.
Approval - giving myself permission to get to know myself, to become intimate myself through the process of writing, self-honesty, self-forgiveness, and self-corrective application. To express myself through an unconditional acceptance of who I am HERE, in this moment, and through the time I have here, as each breath, establishing myself within/as Equality with All things and All people as the real value of Life and Living.
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