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Showing posts from June, 2014

350: The Unending Search for Validation

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Here I am continuing on from the previous blog posts wherein I have been investigating, releasing and correcting a particular point within me in relation to a new job.

Today I will go into the self forgiveness for the particular dimension of this reaction, which was basically a fear I have, stored as an image within my mind, of the possibility of me 'looking bad' within the two jobs from either being late or having a conflict of schedule that doesn't allow for me to be at one job because i'm scheduled at the other. So it's a self-image I am attempting to protect, in fear of being seen as a 'bad employee' and overall as a 'bad' human being as who I am within my jobs and how I conduct myself says a lot about who I am as a person overall and so fear of me coming across as not caring, irresponsible, and inefficient.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project a future within my mind, as an image of me being late to one of my jobs…

349: Aligning the Inner and Outer Realities

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Continuing from the previous blog and on with corrective/commitment statements in relation to the self forgiveness applied in yesterday's blog. Read here for context, and suggest to read the following out loud to support yourself.

When and as I see myself participating/entertaining and thus believing the back chats within my mind in relation to my new job and the possibility of a busier schedule, I stop and I breathe as I see, realize and understand that at this stage, I cannot trust the 'me as the mind' as within my mind I exist within only the consideration of self interest, and through investigating the back chats within my mind, noticed that it was in fact hiding the real issue I was facing yet was not being self honest with myself about and instead created back chats as a distraction and fear for me to dwell in instead of taking it into the physical, and so when I see back chats in this context arise within me, in relation to my new job, I stop and I breathe and do n…

348: The Consequence of Lying to Myself

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Continuing from the previous blog, I am here to firstly address the point of using back chats as a way to distract myself from seeing the real issue I was facing within myself in relation to a new job, and to for even a moment, entertain the perception I was coming up with within my own mind in relation to a new job. For context, I suggest reading the previous blog. And for support, I suggest reading the following self forgiveness out loud.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as back chats within my mind as statements I make to myself about my new job causing me to have a busy schedule and to within this, consider whether this is something that I really want to do and so in a way, participate within a fear aspect of contemplating 'what I should do' or 'if I should do this', instead of bringing it through into physical reality writing, as I see, realize, and understand that to consider things within my mind only has, at this stage, the poten…

347: The Real Issue - Protecting a Self Image

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In the previous blog I brought up this point of a new job and how within that, there were some initial hesitancy and fears in relation to the change.

In the last few days, since going through orientation and getting the training shifts scheduled, I've noticed reactions about how my schedule will be 'busy'. "This will be too much." "I wont have any free time" "Do I really want this?". And what was interesting is that these were the statements I was making within my mind, yet it was not the actual point that was triggering the reaction within me. Meaning - there was more 'behind the scenes' that I was not yet seeing that was causing me to then turn to a 'busy schedule' as a way of basically drawing attention within  myself to something that doesn't really matter in terms of facing the Real issue here. 

The real issue - a fear that threatened a self-image. The point I saw that was the 'real issue' in terms of what I was …

346: Projection, Compromise, and Consequence

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I recently was interviewed for a new job, and got the position. I was slightly hesitant about it at first because it would be a change and essentially me stepping out of my comfort zone, yet after the interview I saw it was the potential necessary to get me moving in terms of my financial position.

There was some fear in relation to speaking about this new position to my current manager, at where I currently work, as having to limit my availability and basically changing my schedule around. I thought she would take it personally and I am putting her 'out', like in a bad position/situation. Although, I did not consider, until now, that there are so many people at my current job that are wanting to work more and the shifts are simply not available. So it can actually help her with accommodating more people and take off some pressure she might have in terms of people looking to her for more shifts and wanting to work more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself …

345: Slowing Down

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Continuing here from the previous blog, the following are the commitment statements and corrections to be lived from the self forgiveness applied towards my relationship to time:

When and as I see myself react negatively to the time it will take to complete a particular Agreement Course lesson, I stop and I breathe and bring myself out of the reaction and back into and as my physical body within the realization that the negative reaction is fueling the polarity relationship I have created within and towards time wherein I have thought that the quicker I get something done, the better I am and so seeing and realizing the negative reaction is due to the fear of being seen/living out the negative definition I have given to the time it takes to get something done as slower is worse and so I commit myself to no longer participate in the polarity relationship as quicker is better and longer is worse and to instead work with physical space and time, as breath by breath, moment to moment, day…

344: Rushing to get my Energy

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Here I'm going to jump into the self-forgiveness process for the previous blogs wherein I wrote out this point of who I am in relation to time, specifically a negative reaction I had to the amount of time it would take to complete a specific lesson I am currently walking within the Desteni I Process - Agreement Course.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react within a negative emotion when considering my own self-supportive application of 'how to' walk my current agreement course lesson as one word a day, and within seeing 50 words to be done as 50 days it would take to complete - react within thinking it was 'too long' and wanting to get it done faster as to define myself within a positive energy as being 'accomplished' and able to move through things quickly

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define moving through things quickly and getting things done fast, as in a shorter amount of time, within a positiv…