13 April 2014

335: Changing My Nature within Responsibilities

Here I am continuing from the previous post, wherein I applied the self forgiveness for the relationship I have created towards my responsibilities, mostly in relation to my current education process, wherein a lot of time is used for homework/studying.

Here I will redefine the relationship through commitment statements for how I will now apply myself within my 'responsibilities' and will continue in the next posts with self forgiveness and self corrective and commitment statements in relation to the positive relationship towards entertainment I created, as an outflow of this initial negative relationship to responsibilities/homework and also the excuses I then ended up settling on as to why I could not add more to my schedule.

Okay, here we go:

When and as I see myself seeing/experiencing my homework as the responsibilities I have to do daily as something that is 'too much' or 'more than me' and thus feel inferior to 'all the stuff I have to do' - I stop and I breathe and bring myself out of the mind as being overwhelmed and instead back to the simplicity of breathing, back to my body, back to the moment wherein I am here and thus have the ability to direct myself to do one thing at a time, as I see/realize/understand that when I look at ALL that I have to do within a time-frame that is more than my immediate present or even immediate future, then I am separating myself from me here and thus separating myself from what I am practically able to do within the time I have HERE, and so I commit myself to slow myself down within breathing and instead focus on what is required of me in that moment, in that day or within the next few days as to not make it 'more' than what is required of me at that moment

I commit myself to take it 'one thing/point at a time' so that I am looking at practical reality and not unnecessarily creating conflict and friction within myself as to look at what else I must do that is not necessarily possible in that moment and so I commit myself to take it one breath at a time, when moving myself within the homework/responsibilities that I have and to make sure that I am giving all of my attention into the homework that I am working with IN THE MOMENT and thus not going into my mind and projecting into the future homework "I still have to do" - I keep it simple and within what is practical for me to get done within the time available to me

When and as I see myself resisting doing my responsibilities such as homework, within the starting point of seeing it as having 'no choice' and thus feeling 'forced' and resisting this force, I stop and I breathe and ground myself in my body and in the physical reality as to slow myself down and thus stop the ways in which I am seeing my responsibilities such as homework, as I see/realize/understand that I am within this, wanting and expecting certain results without putting in the time and effort necessary to actually create those results and so I commit myself to walk one day at a time, one point at a time as walking the necessary steps to accumulate the end result that will manifest through my process of taking action and being committed and consistent within that

I commit myself to stop thinking things will and can magically just appear without the necessary physical actions that require my self direction and self movement to do and so I commit myself to work with physical reality in how things actually manifest, which is not in the ways in which I've believed them to be - through fantasizing or hoping or expecting - I commit myself to realize it takes me being here, physically working with what is here as my education process and thus applying myself within my responsibilities such as homework to 'get it done' and create the outcome that I would like to see and so I commit myself to stop expecting results without being the one that creates those results

When and as I see myself accepting and allowing 'wants' to direct me in relation to school/education as 'not wanting to do it' or 'wanting to do this instead' - I stop and I breathe and bring myself out of the mind as the desire energy and ground myself within my body and thus physical reality wherein I can asses whether my wants are practical or not, or simply based on something that is not REAListic such as wanting to do well in school without actually applying myself and so I commit myself to, when and as I am allowing myself to be directed within 'wants', to stop and breathe and assess whether the wants are practical or not and if not, to let them go as I see/realize/understand that my wants do nothing except distract me from what is necessary to be done and so I commit myself to work with practical wants and not mind wants that only fuel self interest and the already ways in which I've established myself within/as this world that I have come to see and realize no longer support me within the direction I am taking and that is to become self directive and no longer following wants and desires within the mind

When and as I see myself experiencing myself negatively in relation to responsibilities such as school work - I stop and I breathe and bring myself out of the reaction and back here to my body and thus this physical reality and not allow myself to participate within such a reaction as I see/realize/understand that I am taken advantage of what is here for me in terms of my process of education as a way to get to know myself, to slow myself down within, to fully engage and enjoy and appreciate and thus not having to have this feeling as if I am being forced through it like I must just get it over with as I see/realize and understand that this is also not supporting me to be fully engaged in the process I am currently walking within school, as I am only giving enough to 'get me through' and thus actually sabotaging myself within my current education - I commit myself to slow myself when/as I see myself creating conflict or friction within my school work and instead, walk slowly but surely within all that is necessary for me and thus being here with myself, within this process, to truly engage and appreciate and take advantage of the opportunity I have of getting to know myself within this education process as I also see/realize/understand here that it's another point of support to ground me within physical reality, more actions I can take in practicing breathing, being here, directing myself, getting things done and thus becoming responsible within all that I do

I commit myself to change the relationship I have towards school work as not seeing it separate from me but instead as an outflow of me and thus an extension of myself that will reflect who I am within it and thus I commit myself to push myself, as I see I am able, to not accept anything less than what I am capable of and thus supporting myself to expand and grow and develop within/as this education process

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