08 March 2014

328: The Ego in What I Eat

Okay, getting straight into the self forgiveness for the relationship I have created towards and with food/my diet. Read yesterday's blog for reference.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define some foods as bad and others as good

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define some foods within a negative definition and others within a positive definition and to within this, attach a specific energy within the definition that then influence how I 'feel' or experience myself when I eat these foods

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the food that I eat, as that which is of the earth, as I am of the earth, and as that which physically support my body to function - through defining some foods as good and some as bad

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to place a judgment on foods that I have defined as 'bad' as that which is 'bad' for my body and think and believe these are foods I should avoid and fear even as being that which could cause harm to my physical body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see food as something that I should fear and avoid within accepting certain fears of my world that have said "don't eat this or this will happen to you" and so within this - react within fear and thus want to avoid certain foods

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see foods as something that will either harm me or help me and to within this, create a specific relationship to certain foods, where when I see a certain type of food, I will have a specific reaction as placing it in either the good or bad column within my mind - as being either positive or negative

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to be influenced by others and outside sources of information that tell me what is good for my body and what is bad for my body instead of doing the investigation myself, instead of doing the research to find out for myself, without allowing a fear/negative energy reaction push me into not eating certain foods and so investigating it myself to see what is supporting my body and what is not, instead of immediately casting a judgment on certain foods just because I heard this piece of information from this person or read this piece of information from this source and so simply accept what is told to me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself, to whenever I go to eat a meal, consider my options within the column of my mind where I have placed certain foods in the good and bad column and to then scan through my options and the definitions/reactions I have given to all the options and to from there, make a decision about what to eat - considering what is 'good' for me as 'healthy' as the positive energy reaction and thus allowing me to feel better and to look better

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to eat foods that I think if I eat, I will not gain weight and so within this, revealing a fear of being overweight and allowing the information and knowledge I have heard/read as what is good for keeping weight stable and what is bad as in one gaining weight, determine what I eat and how I feel about it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make my relationship with food to be about how I will feel about it and the ideas I have about it and the desires I have within it - as getting something out of what I eat as fulfilling an image within my mind of what I would 'like' to look like and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, within this, not consider what is best for my physical body as supporting it within how it functions and works together to sustain my physical body and thus my life and instead value the ego of me that would like a specific image to present to the world as 'fitting in' to the image portrayed by others as that which is acceptable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use food as a way to feed my ego as eating foods I think will not allow me to gain weight and thus keep a slim figure

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to eat foods that will 'keep a slim figure' as the desire coming form a fear of being overweight

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define a slim figure as positive and being overweight as negative

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place the value on the shape of my body as more important than how the food will digest and be used as a source of energy for me as my body, and all cells of my body that currently move and act in unison as one unit as my body to sustain who I am here yet I am without such an awareness as I have given more attention/focus and value to the me of the mind as the ego of self interest and thus failed to see the life of equality and oneness working here as me as my physical body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself within my relationship to foods and within this, the earth - as ALL foods come from the earth, no matter how it is processed or made - it's origins come from and as this earth and so when I look at food as simply a way to fulfill a desired image within my mind - I am missing the bigger reality I am a part of as that which I receive from the earth, that which sustains my ability to live here and move about and exists as an ego even and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to squander the relationship I have with/as the earth as the actual interconnectedness that I participate with daily when/as I consume food... and instead seeing it as only a means to attain an image of me that I define within a positive nature instead of as the actual nature that I am being sustained by as the very substance of the source from which I come/am birthed, the Earth

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself within how I see/perceive food

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear eating foods that I think will cause me to gain weight and so whenever I do decide to eat this - go into internal conflict and friction about what I just ate as fearing what I just ate will not help me achieve the look I am trying to manifest as a healthy looking body - which is simply just a thin body

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to praise myself and feel good about myself whenever I eat something that I define as good and positive and think and believe it will help me to achieve the look I am going for - thinking I made the 'right choice' as the better of the two choices I have given myself - good or bad foods... instead of realizing that I am the one that has defined food within limited definitions as either good or bad, positive or negative and so I am the one that can stop this and change this and change who I am in relation to food to no longer being to serve me ego as self interest as wanting to be a look I think others will accept or that I think my world will accept and instead create a relationship of equal support, of an actual recognition of the life that is here and that I am apart of and that supports me unconditionally - to get to know how I've separated myself from the actual life substance through accepting me as a limited view from within/as the mind

to be continued...





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