13 January 2014

301: Why do we Become Addicted To...

Tonight's blog is a point I wanted to clear up in relation to the Desteni I Process Google Hangout I participated in last Thursday, where me and some other destonians discussed 'Stopping a Weed Addiction' and the various points within that.

Obviously one could go on about this addiction and it's behaviors and consequences for much longer than a half an hour, yet what was mentioned in the hangout is a cool support point for anyone looking for solutions in stopping their addiction to weed or to anything for that matter because the reality is that weed is not necessarily addictive, it's the nature of the relationship one created to/towards a particular point that one 'uses'. So in this case of the Google Hangout, and in my case, I did create an addictive relationship/dependency towards weed. So check it out if you find yourself in a similar situation and ready to take back your life and give new direction to where you are heading.

The point specifically here I wanted to mention in this blog, as to clear it up from the Google Hangout discussion, was when the question was asked, "Why does one become addicted to weed?" Now you can again, replace the word 'weed' in that question with any other word as the point one use to feed such an addictive relationship.

In the vlog, in relation to this particular question, I mentioned it was a social aspect that was the addiction - yet that is not true. That was the starting point for entering the use of marijuana - it was readily available, it was popular among people my age, and frankly many in my culture of all ages, race and creed participated in the activity. I simply wanted to be a part of the group and so when I was 16, I tried it. That was the beginning of a long love affair that turned out to be no so supportive, which is usually the case when one is blinded by positive feelings of love; all common sense, rational and critical assessment of reality goes out the window and the need for the weed (in my case, insert your point of addiction there) becomes the only thing that matters; the rest of the world falls into the background and the forefront of one's attention it toward attaining that feeling the use produce.

So why did I become addicted to weed? When I was asked this question in the vlog, I obviously did not hear clearly what was being asked, because as previously mentioned, I brought up the social aspect - yet that is not what I was addicted to. The addiction/use/dependency of weed in my life in fact isolated me or shall I say, I isolated myself within my use and become less social because of it - because I wanted to stay home, 'relaxing' and get high. So what was it about the use of weed that was so addictive? Why did I give up so much of myself just to smoke? When I look at this question again, the point that comes up is actually interesting because I had not really seen it before yet it is similar to my experience and I'm sure many's experience, in relation to alcohol. I lost my inhibitions, I felt 'free', I felt like I could let go and relax and not worry about anything. Instead I was too distracted by my mental and physical experience the high produce to really take notice/face the actual, more constant experience of myself, which was anxious, nervous and overall insecure.

Weed for me was like this point of 'invincibility' where I no longer felt so insecure, I felt safe. I felt like nothing mattered anymore, the problems I thought I had or the struggles I experienced internally. I could just get high, and forget about the normal, non-high me and to me that was what was so appealing - this feeling of letting go.

Obviously it's not a real feeling - it was dependent on a substance and thus not constant and so not real. Yet I was willing to go on the everlasting quest to find it. There was also this experience of feeling like I saw more clearly when smoking weed - like I could see more into the subconscious and unconscious points within me and within others and so when I would be out, it was quite entertaining for me to watch and observe other people interact, because I actually thought I was seeing the reality of people more than they saw of themselves, like I was seeing into them parts they were not aware of. So it also fed this idea about myself that I had some kind of inner-vision that others did not have and I preferred watching through my high, glazed-over eyes what was going on around me then stop and question whether I could actually live without this substance and the experiences it produced that I had to constantly re-establish through another hit.

It's also the desire to get that one high we had that one time again and yet we can never recreate it. We might get close, but instead we are trapped in the constant search for this past experience that made us feel so much better within it than who we are without it. This puts into question who we are in the first place. Why do we want to get high and hide from how we really feel, day in and day out? Why run and hide and not face and find solutions?

This is why I became addicted to weed - I didn't know where to go, what to do, what direction to take and overall I was discouraged with who I was and so I wanted a way out, a way to forget, a way to get that temporary relief from 'who I was' without realizing I could actually stop and change the 'who I was' to be who I really am and how I actually want to express and no longer be held down by these ideas of myself that I don't know what to do or I'm not good enough or I need this or that to make myself feel better about myself. I can remove all of those self ideas and definitions without masking it with a temporary high.

And with the support of the Desteni Principles and the Group, I have been able to stop masking the me I wanted to hide out from within a marijuana high. It's been over 3 years and I'm grateful that point no longer exists within me or my life, because I will tell you - there was a time when I thought I was so addictive, I would never be able to stop. If I can, anyone can and it starts with a simple decision. It can be stopped with consequences yet obviously that is not the route to take - take a self honest look at you, your life and how you are living and ask yourself - is this the best version of me? Am I running or hiding from something? Is there more to Life? Don't settle for the lesser version of you when there are countless of people who are living examples that change is possible, practical and what is necessary in this world.

Check out Desteni and the DIP Lite course that is free and an introduction course that assists and supports anyone wanting, willing and seeing changes are required in their life. Addiction, over-consumption, acceptance of limitations, hiding out, running away... does not have to be a part of human nature - we can actually stop and let that go, FOR REAL, without any mind-altering substance or external point that stimulates such experiences where we accept that to be better than the reality we are all equally creating and sharing together. Start with yourself - clear the fog, make a decision about who you are and what you participate with and dare to walk a Journey of a lifetime.

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