27 December 2014

381 - Sleep Much? Consider this...

I'm going to continue on with the support from the Atlanteans, though this time in relation to Mind Tiredness vs Physical Tiredness.

I have been facing this point of 'sleeping' and 'naps' within my process for quite some time, and while for a bit I was not napping or sleeping unnecessary, it seems I have fallen back into the pattern and see the consequence it can create in my own life in terms of the time I'm giving to sleeping, as well as what I am actually accepting and allowing within myself in such a pattern of naps.

And so I went to the Atlanteans for support. There is a two part recording on this specific topic, and so tonight's blog I will touch on the points mentioned within that interview, which of course, already shed some light/perspective on what is actually going on in 'wanting to sleep' and how I can begin to change myself, beginning with starting to understand myself within sleeping/napping.

The first point that came through in the interview that really made sense to me was in relation to how we experience the 'tiredness' point as being a statement we make within ourselves of "I am tired." First - we, without question accept this statement within ourselves and so usually follow along as the pattern plays out to then make a decision to sleep. Yet what if we for that moment, instead considered where we are physically tired? Often times when I make that decision to nap, or sleep during the day, it is due to this heavy experience in my eye lids, where it's as if there are weights on them forcing them to shut. It is quite limited in terms of that sensation of being tired to be that within only my eyes, and so what if I stopped in that moment and checked with the rest of my physical body? Here I can see that while there have been times when the physical body as a WHOLE requires rest or sleep, the major point of the 'problem' within my sleeping habit is when I'm strictly feeling that tiredness within only my eyes, and that's a cool reference mentioned as knowing it is a Mental Tiredness, not a physical tiredness.

Though - it is a mental tiredness manifesting within the physical as the consequence of participating within the mental reality (thoughts, feelings and emotions). The main points mentioned in the interview was when one participate too much in stress, fear and anxiety, this accumulates an energy wherein then the Physical body will 'force' the mind to slow down if you will, through manifesting the weight on the eyes, where it's the body suggesting the Mind or Self as the Mind to slow down it's participation. So here, the Body offering support, despite our lack of considerations for it as a Whole, as indicating we are too busy in our minds and not participating enough within the breath as/of Life. Something I can now bring with me as I start facing this point for myself; the awareness/understanding that the physical tiredness I feel within my eyes when I 'want to sleep' is due to a consequence of my participation within stress, fear and anxiety. Which brings me to the next point:

When that moment of consequence manifests within my eyes, here I have never really considered to stop and look and take responsibility for what I have CREATED. As that moment of heavy eyes and the desire to then sleep indicate a consequence created through my participation within stress, fear and anxiety, it would be to then investigate Myself in terms of where/how/why/when am I participating within such points of stress, fear, and anxiety. That is where I can take responsibility for myself, what I accept and allow within me, and so what I create, instead of just then going to sleep and allowing a pattern to develop wherein I think about and worry about stress, fear and anxiety and then manifest the heavy/sleeping experience in the eyes, then sleep and then repeat. Rather here I can stop and sort out this point through investigating/revealing/understanding it's origins as the moments I accept and allow myself to participate within fear, stress, and anxiety. And so revealing the power within me to actually change this habit rather than allowing it to continue to play out and create further consequences in my life that can/will/have extended to beyond just my physical body, life for instance the time I use to sleep rather than doing something that is more supportive/productive for me in my life and self-development.

The next point within this that I found to be of much support was the consideration of the Physical Body and how it functions. Consider this for a moment: What if you heart decided "it's too tired to take the next beat?" Or if  your blood started saying "I don't want to move myself throughout the body, I'd rather just rest and sit here and not move myself" Hello - we would be dead. And so now consider standing in the shoes of your physical body and having the same expression of consistency, discipline and self-movement? This I can see I am cutting myself off from due to allowing this personality develop that exists within the statement of "I am too tired, I don't feel like it, I want to sleep". So again, the Physical body being the prime example of living to it's utmost potential, doing what is necessary to be done, and always existing within the consideration of what is best for all because again imagine one organ in your body going into the statement of "I don't want to do anything today" and refuses to function within it's utmost potential? What consequence would this have on the rest of your organs, your body as a whole, and you as the ability to Live? So really - I can see how just how much I have separated myself from my physical body as the living example of expressing to my full potential, as being what is best for all(me) and how wow - within this, truly that my body is a temple standing as the greatest teacher I have ever known and I have not given one ounce of consideration and care to it.

So a tough lesson in a way in terms of facing what I've accepted and allowed within me as the statement of "I want to rest/I am tired." How this is in fact a manipulation of myself (which was also mentioned in the interview) wherein I use this tiredness-manifested consequence to not take responsibility for myself as well as a resistance to not step up to becoming Equal to and One with my Physical Body as the potential it has to Express, Live, and Do what is Best for All.

This pattern of sleeping/tiredness/napping has gone on for much too long and it's time for me to take responsibility for myself as the creator. So some points here that were eye-opening in the recording I listened to tonight regarding the responsibility I have as Who I am within Sleeping and starting the process of change to applying Sleep as a Practical Support rather than a Mental Desire.

Will continue with the second recording in the blog to follow...





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22 December 2014

380: How To Prevent Regret and The Gift within Not Giving Up

To bring a close to the series of blogs I've been writing - tonight I will write about the potential of self within not giving in to the 'giving up' experience, and a bit about the point of regret.

Recently I was asked to Host a Live Google Hangout within the Desteni Community. While there were resistances and fears coming up within me, I knew this was something that would be of support for me within my own process, meaning - a point for me to expand, to face myself as my fears, and to practice the act of "public speaking", or in general, speaking on camera. So in general, and practically speaking, it was something I saw as an opportunity and knew I would go for it. I mean really, it was like silly for me not to, as there was nothing physically real suggestion that I couldn't or shouldn't, despite the energetic experience that said 'Noooooo!'

So while I was preparing myself and all the other elements related to the hangout, an interesting point emerged, or rather revealed itself the day before we were to go Live. I thought, "how can I get out of this?" And there was a real search for a 'back door' if you will, like an escape route I could take to get myself out of doing the hangout, because there were so many fears and resistances and nerves coming up that instead of walking THROUGH this experience, I wanted to just run away, and give up. Though, gratefully, I knew walking through the fear and just doing the hangout was my only option, or the only direction I gave myself because from my perspective, to not do it would be to allow the mind to influence/direct me as the experience of energy as the fear and nervousness, and to me that is not valid. In fact, that is the point/reason/purpose I walk the process I do with Desteni - to stop and no longer allow my mind as fear to influence me as I see it only keeps me contained within the same state of existence wherein I keep myself in my safe little bubble-of-mind and do not go beyond that because to do so would be to face Myself as who I've created myself to be (as the fears and so the energetic experience), and to realize that they are not REAL, and that I can exist/live/express/enjoy life without them. And, this process is about self-development, self-improvement, becoming directive principle of/as ME, of taking responsibility of who I am in each moment as what I accept and allow of/as myself, and so letting go of the Mind-Me and instead working with myself as a physical being and so my physical expression. It's about actual Growth, because when we step outside of our mind-box, we expand, we grow, we open ourselves to the more-ness that is HERE as this physical reality, as our physical bodies, of that which is REAL and so of that which is of LIFE.

So while that slight search for any part of me that would be willing to Give Up came up inside of myself, I knew I wouldn't give in because I have given myself a commitment to transform myself in this Life and what better way to do that then to do that which one is not comfortable with, or resistant toward, or fearful of; to learn HOW to direct oneself in a moment despite what the back chats in the mind and energy-experience suggests.

So I did it, and I was grateful AND found that (of course) the fears and nerves were simply existent because I was doing something I was not familiar with, and like anything new you are attempting, there is uncertainty or some kind of 'unknowing-ness' because obviously you have never done it before - yet until you DO go for it, you do not know whether your fears/ideas are valid or not. Once I did the hangout, of course my fears proved not to be valid, as they were no longer 'here' within me, and what I found was a real enjoyment in the whole process.

So what can we learn from this? If I would have allowed the fears and the idea that maybe, possibly I can just give up - I would have never pushed myself beyond my own limitation. I would have never seen who I am in such a moment and what I am actually capable of in terms of directing myself in the moment of Fear. I would have never seen perhaps some strengths that I can continue to expand, or even weaknesses that I can now become aware of/better understand and work with in strengthening. The point is that when we allow ourselves to give up the second we have second thoughts, we allow ourselves to miss out on moments that are opportunities for ourselves in a life of self-development/transformation.

And this is where the regret comes in.

I have come to within my process become a bit of a 'Yes Man' - where when anything is asked of me, or something opens up to me for me to 'try' and 'go for', I have more than not said Yes - simply because of the nature of this process as being willing to 'work with what is here' and to 'dare myself' to go beyond what I've accepted of myself in terms of what I see I am able to do. And what I can see within this, and what I am grateful toward myself for within it is this point of I know I will never regret anything in my life. Why? Because I've allowed myself to embrace those uncomfortable, fearful moments that, if I were to give in when I've "wanted" to Give up, I would have eventually regretted it because deep down, we all see the reasons for why we do what we do, or why we don't do what we do; that is self honesty, and we see, in self honesty, the reasons why we 'make up our minds' the way that we do. And so for me, I KNEW that if I did not take on the challenge (and change) of, like in this instance, the Google hangouts, I would have regretted it. I would have regretted not gifting myself with the opportunity to face my fears and walk through them; Regret is when we Give Up on Ourselves instead of finding solutions, or giving ourselves a chance. And this is simply not something I can accept of myself.

It's a process - and for me, this is one point I've seen I've been able to give to myself, and see I am still willing to give to myself as a point of support in my own Process of Perfection; wherein I allow myself to go for those moments that I fear, that I absolutely DO NOT want to do for no other reason then It's 'outside of my comfort zone', or there are fears suggesting that I should quickly RUN the other direction. Yet, I see, realize and understand there is only one way to go, and that is within a self-directive route wherein I decide who I am and no longer allow the self-imposed self-beliefs, and self-generated experiences that say "I can't do this" get in the way. I am here to change myself and I have come to realize that Change exists where we make the decision to Move ourselves into a space/place/situation/experience that we never allowed of ourselves to before.

Lesson for today (and from this blog series): Embrace the Challenge as the Change Existent when we move beyond our comfort zone(The Mind as the ideas of ourselves) and what we think we are willing and actually able to do. Open yourself up to what is HERE as the opportunities that present itself in each and every breath.

I suggest to invest in the Atlantean Series on Giving Up that has been my point of support throughout the past few blogs, as I only shared was was relevant to me/my process from the series; who knows what gems of support you may find in the series. And to investigate for yourself where you too can Prevent Regret in your life.



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12 December 2014

379: How to Stop Emotions from Taking Over

Continuing on with the fourth recording of the series about the point of Giving Up I've been listening to by the Atlantean's, it's all about the practical support and assistance we can give to ourselves to no longer simply play out or act out the pattern of giving up, and instead rather direct ourselves through it, and in that, actually expand ourselves as who we are in relation to that particular thing and see or rather LIVE the potential within us.

For me the most supportive point was to realize how that giving up really is simply an emotional reaction, and so like any emotional reaction I face, the corrective application to support myself within such a moment of facing it is to stop and breathe, and in that, stand up within/as my physical body - where instead of completely allowing the mind as the emotional reaction to take over, to instead breathe within/as my body, ground myself in the moment HERE and so my physical environment and to stabilize any reactions that may be coming up. Because one thing I've learned throughout this process is that rational, logical, direct, REAL, common sensical reasoning or assessing/seeing does not exist when one is reacting within emotions and feelings - it's strictly the emotion and feeling energy that we become consumed by and so limited within as we validate that this experience is real and so cannot see anything beyond that, let alone the ACTUAL reality of a situation/moment or even ourselves.

So for example - say you are asked to do something that you are not comfortable with or don't have much experience with, such as public speaking. And while you see that doing it would support you in developing yourself as a being and the skills you have, and basically expand you within what you are able to do - you instead react within fear; fear of how others will think of you, self-judgments that you're not good enough, imaginations of worst-case scenarios, and within this fear you sink into yourself thinking there is NO WAY you could do this, because the fear as energy as emotion is charged up to the point where you feel paralyzed and absolutely convinced that you simply cannot do it, nope - nuh uh, no way man, done deal.

Though - what if in such a moment, you were to instead stop and breathe. Meaning - you stop the worst-case scenarios from playing out in your mind, you stop the self-judgment that says there is someone else who would do it better than you, and you let go of caring how others might see you and instead you breathe in and breathe out and bring yourself back to your physical body; you move out of the Mind and into your body that is grounded and stable HERE in this physical reality.

Imagine that. You stop the energy reaction of fear, you stop the images in your mind, you stop the voices in your head and you are simply here. And you see that initial common sense that it's not something you are familiar with yet you see it would support you in expanding your skills and expression and while it may be a challenge, you see indeed this is something that will support you in life and there is no valid reason or excuse that suggests otherwise.

And look at that - the point of giving up stemming from the fear of 'what could happen' or 'what will happen' and all the negative energy surrounding the initial reaction diminishes and you are now in a position to stop the pattern of giving up before you start - or of giving up at the moment where it matters the most for you to stop, step up and direct yourself within who you are and what you do, meaning where the mind and the fear and the energy no longer decides for you.

What one can then do from here is to list or write out ALL the points that came up within yourself/your mind that suggest this would be too much of a challenge and that perhaps it's not something you want to do or to continue with - to physically put it out onto paper and look at it with real eyes. From where, point by point you can see what is a real problem or concern and the possible solutions, so that you are no longer trusting the first thought that comes to mind that says you shouldn't do something, and instead see what it is that you are THINKING you shouldn't do, why/what's behind it, and if it's something you can actually direct.

Another example here - say you think you don't speak well enough to do public speaking - so then you practice speaking in front of someone you trust. Or you think you don't know enough about the topic material, well if you were asked to speak then you must know enough, and if you still don't feel you do, then do your homework and prepare yourself. What i'm saying here is that there are always solutions to our apparent problems that we come up with in our minds; that if we were to stop and take a moment to breathe and look within ourselves, without the emotional energy having any influence on what we are looking at, then we will see how much we limit ourselves within what we do and that we can indeed direct ourselves to expand in our abilities and thus live our utmost potential. The point would simply be to work with ourselves in walking through that which exists in our minds that keep us from going beyond what we are comfortable with; to indeed embrace the challenge.

So yes, it's basically a matter of acknowledging that perhaps you may not be experienced or as familiar with something you are suppose to do or asked to do, such as public speaking - though that does not mean that you should not do it. Instead it can be a point of expansion support - where you can see who you really are in relation to public speaking; get to know who you are as your mind as all the things that come up as the 'obstacle' that prevents you from moving forward and what it is about you that you will have to face/change/direct/walk through to get yourself through the point, rather than giving up.

If you want to learn more specifically about how to apply such corrections in your life, first you can invest in the self-perfecting material found on EQAFE, as well as learn to tools through a free online course, DIP Lite, specifically designed for those ready to develop and expand themselves as a being, to live what is actually possible for each in this life and ready to let go of the self-inflicted patterns that keep us in the same space and mind-set instead of walking a rewarding life through the challenges of changing our nature.






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11 December 2014

378: Instead of Giving Up - Embrace Change in the Challenge

In continuing with the series of recordings I've been listening to, as well as the blogs I've shared in relation to what I've realized and applied for myself when facing the experience of 'giving up' - the third recording from the Atlantean's proved to be yet again supportive.

The point I would like to discuss here in relation to this 3rd recording in the series is the correction, or rather expansive point they made in relation to the title of the series, "Giving Up" - to "Giving up on Yourself." Because that is essentially what we are doing when we give up on something we are doing, or learning, or attempting to implement in our life, or to change; when we want to give up, we are not giving up on that particular 'thing' - we are in fact giving up on ourselves based on an idea that "it's not working" or "I can't do this" or "It's not worth it."

So while we might like to think we are giving up DUE to something outside of ourselves 'not working' - the truth is, it's OURSELVES we are giving up on, it's ME that thinks and believe "I can't do it", and then easily project the 'problem' to be on something outside of ourselves. Yet consider this - have we ever attempted to change ourselves IN RELATION to what we are doing, so that we no longer give validity to the experience we have that is conjured within our minds as our thoughts, feelings and emotions and instead look at things practically, realistically, and with common sense?

This point of giving up had become a habit in my life wherein I would allow myself to only go so far before I would 'throw in the towel' and turn my complete attention and direction around. I use to feel shitty about myself for such a pattern I observed to emerge throughout my life, yet through walking the principles of Desteni and the tools as a point of self-support to in fact change myself, I am understanding more the nature of 'giving up' and what is behind the facade of thoughts that suggest it doesn't really matter to continue, or that it's more than me and I should just quit, or even the seemingly innocent justifications as to why it doesn't matter to keep at it (whatever that 'it' may be).

And the nature of Giving up, while it may seem to be so concrete and justified, is only ever an act of giving up on OURSELVES. And this is exactly what we've done in accepting and allowing our Mind to take the wheel of our life. When we accept and allow our thoughts, imaginations, desires, fears, resentments, guilt, hate, self-interest - emotions and feelings as energies determine who we are and what we do, we have given up on ourselves, ourselves as a being, as a self-aware body/presence that is Here and equal to and one with All life, that exists within a point of pure potential. We have moved so far from our selves as even the physical body, and this physical earth (as a body) due to this exact point of giving up - we give up our right to life as the living potential that exists within each because somehow we have come to accept ourselves to be only our Minds; driven by positive and negative energies. More simply put - we gave up our breath of life, as the awareness and self-directive principle HERE in every moment for the pictures, images and flashy colors of our mind. We (humanity and what we have created on Earth as 'life') have become the very manifestation of giving up on ourselves, and so each other.

To end this blog, I followed this writing up with a word in which emerged that seemed to be what I was living out in relation to 'giving up'. That was the word Challenge and how every time that word came up within me, the door to give up opened and I would always take that route.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish I could quit an action/responsibility/job/task at hand as a point of thinking I will be no good at it anyway, instead of practically, physically walking the point/testing it out myself and thus see for real if it will work out or not

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always quit/give up as the mere thought of something being challenging, instead of seeing the point as an opportunity to change

CHALLENGING

Change is in the challenge, as daring myself to expand and explore what I am actually, practically capable of.

When and as I see myself wanting to give up/quit whenever I perceive something to be challenging, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that the challenge is in relation to who I've accepted and allowed myself to be and if I take on/walk through/embrace the challenge, I am changing me as expanding myself as what I am potentially capable of and thus no more accepting and allowing myself to "remain the same" and rather move past that which keeps me there, which I also see, realize, and understand is simple my thoughts, feelings, and emotions, fears, ideas, beliefs, future projections and imaginations existing within myself/my mind.

I commit myself to exist in physical space and time as actually, practically doing/apply myself with that which I define as challenging to see who and what I am really and of and so...

I commit myself to embrace challenges in my life as the opportunity to change as I see there is CHANGE in the CHAlleNGE



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13 November 2014

377: What to Realize When your Mind Seems More Active

Continuing on the series I am walking currently with the Atlantean Interivews in relation to Giving up, specifically the second interview in this series, "Giving Up: Understanding" - there was a second part I wanted to touch on in this blog.

The first part was in relation to the trust and belief we place into our minds/our thoughts/how we speak internally to ourselves (back chats) and you can see the self-forgiveness process I walked in relation to that specific point in my previous blog.

Here though a point I would like to discuss, which was mentioned in this second interview from the Atlanteans is in relation to the tsunami that we can experience within our minds when facing specific points.

First - an example for context:

When I first started investigating Desteni and the tools of breathing, writing, self forgiveness and self-corrective application I found, not to long after applying these tools, a flood of reactions coming up within my mind. I noticed just how busy my mind was; there was a constant stream of thoughts, and images and back chats, and future projections and energies as emotions and feelings coming up; I felt as if I was being bombarded by the mind and within this, felt so overwhelmed and lost within it all. I was taken aback as I thought what the hell - here I am finally attempting to become more aware of myself in every moment, to take responsibility for who I was within my mind, to actually get a grip on my experience wherein I could walk more stability rather then the highs and lows I experienced throughout my life, and yet my mind was erupting in a way I had never experienced, like I could not in anyway slow myself down or stop the stampede that was happening within my mind.

What I later was supported to see and could see for myself was that that chaotic experience I was seeing within myself/my mind was nothing that was new - it was nothing that just started since walking my process - it has always existed that way yet I was only now in a position of allowing myself to become aware of it. It was like I opened my eyes for the first time and could see the extent to which I had given up who I was to the existence of the mind; that I was so limited to exist ONLY within my mind that that space within my head was what was busy moving, expanding, existing and only then was I able to see the extent to which I had placed ALL of myself into and as my mind.

And this is exactly the point in which the Atlanteans were speaking about in this second interview series in relation to Giving Up. When we are busy walking a process, doing our writings and self forgiveness, and self corrective application we are busy essentially opening up the point we are facing. In the interview they give the example of correcting nervousness as an experience around others and while one is busy getting to know the nature of this nervousness (can be any point one is facing), and busy finding out what is triggering it, motivating it, the thoughts and back chats that sustain it, and the energies that exist within it - when one is busy getting to know all these dimensions, one is basically opening one's eyes to seeing what is actually Here, and so in that, shedding light on the point, opening it up for ourselves and in doing that, we are opening the flood gates sort to speak.

So it can seem like all of a sudden there is more to this point we are facing/working with; there are more memories, or more reactions, or the energy as emotions and feeling seems to become so much more influential, yet it's nothing new, it's simply ourselves opening ourselves up to what is actually here; what has always been here. And this is another way in which we (as the mind) can manipulate ourselves into giving up - the tornado that can be unleashed when we are walking certain points can feel overwhelming and absolutely impossible to stop and correct - yet within this is where we must find the resolve to stand stable, realizing our ability and potential to walk through it; to stand as the eye of the storm - to stand in the center of ourselves/our minds/the inner storm brewing and to find our stability to walk it through - to not in fact give up, but to rather see we are more than able to stop, breathe and direct ourselves through the storm to calmer skies.

So I could absolutely relate to this point mentioned in the Atlantean series and how despite the chaos we create internally - we have the ability to slow ourselves down and in fact STOP what is going on. Yes it can take a process, yet we have the tools to apply ourselves, and the awareness to see, realize, and understand that we are not creating anything new within our minds, instead we are seeing for the first time the extent to which we have separated ourselves into/as our minds, which can be disheartening, yet the point of this interview and of this blog is to realize that it doesn't have to be more than us. We can make that decision to stabilize ourselves in the face of any turbulence, whether internally or externally, and find the resolve to change ourselves in relation to what we face so that nothing moves or sways us from the realization that despite the chaos, I am here, I am breath, and I am stability and so to walk our process through the mind within such a starting point.

The defense mechanisms of the mind seem vast and cunning, yet through our self-awareness and self-diligence to apply ourselves and to NOT give up on ourselves, we are capable of amazing change. And so in that inner-storm exists another gift. The awareness we are allowing of ourselves to seeing even more of who we are, how we exist, the problems we've created and so in that, the solution/change/correction we can live.

I suggest anyone interested in learning how to walk as the eye of the inner and outer storm, to take the free online course, Desteni I Process Lite, wherein you learn the tools to walk yourself to stability, and how to direct yourself and your life in ways where you no longer feel like things are too much, or more than you, but that you in fact have directive power to lead yourself in ways that are most supportive.

In the blogs to follow, I will continue with the process I'm walking with the support of the Atlanteans Series, "Giving Up."






















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06 November 2014

376: Trusting my thoughts to Give Up

Continuing on with the series of blogs I have been walking with the support of the Eqafe interview by the Atlanteans, 'Giving Up' - here I am going into the second interview in the series titled, "Giving Up: Understanding."

The first part in this interview was looking at the trust and faith we give to our minds, specifically the back chats, or voices in our head that basically tell us who we are and how we 'should' react to something. We define ourselves so much as our minds, we never stop and question whether that is in fact who we are. Of course we don't question it, because we have accepted it as part of ourselves, we are 'thinking beings', we follow the thoughts in our mind, we trust the words we speak to ourselves, and we don't for a minute think that maybe there is something beyond that, or within that that is the real essence of our beingness - our presence.

So the following self-forgiveness is specifically for this acceptance and allowance; of defining myself according to my back chats, trusting and believing that what is coming up within my mind as how I speak to myself is valid and real, and to allow that to direct me into how I experience myself and ultimately influence the decisions and choices I make in my life.  Part 2 of this interview will be continued in the blogs to follow.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust in the back chats as the voices in my head that suggest I should just ‘give up’ when things become difficult or when I react to a situation wherein I think and believe I ‘cannot do this’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as the back chats in my head, as the way in which I talk to myself in my mind about particular situations, and when those voices that I have defined as myself suggest I should give up, to trust that that is accurate, and valid and that I should just follow along

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never question who I am within my mind as the back chat/ways in which I speak to myself in my mind, that gives direction to me in terms of how I should experience myself, and never realizing that if I give myself just one moment – one moment to breathe and silence the voices within – I may see that I am not actually those back chats, that I exist and can make decisions that do not have back chat as an influence

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to simply trust the back chats in my mind, as how I speak to myself in relation to specific points I face, and to trust that those voices are in fact me, and have my best interest in mind, without investigating for myself who I am without the energy reaction as the back chat is, and how it fuels the fire of conflict within me wherein it keeps me accepting myself as incapable, and that I should just give up already

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that the voices in my head, as me as my back chat, ever speaks with common sense, instead of realizing it’s always protecting some idea I have about me, some nature in which I am not willing to let go of, as I think and believe that I am in that protecting myself – instead of seeing, self honestly, the limitation the back chats exist as as it’s always to give up, or to follow the experience of positive or negative energy, and never sees for REAL in terms of actual, practical, physical reality and the ability I have to direct myself without the voices in my head/back chats telling me who/how I should be

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust in and believe in the back chats within my mind as how i speak to myself in relation to parts/aspects of my life, instead of realizing that those thoughts are like implants, influenced and impulsed from the life I have lived, the environment in which I was exposed to, the media in which I watched, and the societal/cultural norms I have accepted as my own - that those are not in fact ME, as a free-will choice to decide for me who I am, as why would I chose to be one who gives up, when I've come to see that I can in fact 'move through' any challenges that arise within me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stop the moment I see I am back chatting in my mind, particularly in the context of giving up, the moment they arise, as I now see, realize and understand that it is not really who I am, and that I can actually find solutions rather than simply running away and accepting myself as inadequate to direct myself to whatever it is I am facing, and reacting to

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself within defining myself as my mind

When and as I see myself trusting and believing in the back chats of my mind, particularly when I am telling myself that I should just give up on something/myself – I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that me continuing to participate in the back chats and not stopping myself when I see myself talking to myself in my mind, I am then trusting and believing in them and thus defining myself according to them. I also see, realize, and understand that in trusting and believing in my back chats as how I speak to myself in my mind throughout my life, I have allowed myself to squander my potential, as I always gave up when my mind told me to – never pushed through, never breathed, never considered I could actually continue and change ME in relation to what I was wanting to give up, instead of thinking it’s something outside of me that’s the problem. And so I commit myself to stop and breathe when/as I see back chats arise in the nature of giving up, and instead investigate through writing what it is I am wanting to run from, what beliefs and ideas I’m holding about me that I think I cannot ‘do it’ or ‘walk through it’ or ‘continue with it’. I commit myself to no more define myself as the back chats in my mind, and instead to slow myself down when they arise as to place myself in the position of who I really am, as life, as the breathe, as the silence as me. I commit myself to embrace the silencing of my mind as to support myself to make self-honest, common sense assessments in relation to points/situations/relationships I face, and to thus no longer follow the energy, follow the experience, follow the voice in my mind that suggests I should just give up. 






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02 November 2014

375: How We Justify Giving Up on Each Other

Here I'm continuing walking the EQAFE's Atlantean Series, 'Giving Up.' I suggest to read my previous blog for context.

The first part, or first dimension of this particular 'giving up' outflow was when one has a negative reaction to a particular event/situation in one's life, which is what you can read in my previous blog.

The following is the Self-forgiveness in relation to the 2nd dimension or part 2 of the initial phase of activating the 'giving up' system, which is the back chat/voices in the head that we participate in that fuel the giving up decision, where we began justifying why it's okay for us to give up; the reasons and excuses we give ourselves to take that particular direction/path/road.

I forgive myself  that I have accepted and allowed myself to react negatively to my initial negative reaction to the change in another's interaction with me as the back chat of “it’s too much”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in the back chat of “It will never work” in relation to another and the relationship with them and the overall points I face within myself in relation to that point

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as inadequate in relation to the point I face with another in thinking and believing and defining myself as incapable of handling/taking on/directing myself through/as the point and so instead want to just give up

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as the back chat of “why even bother” in relation to a relationship/interaction with another within/as a reaction – wherein I think and believe the struggle and conflict I face within myself in relation to another/the relationship is not worth it – that it’s not worth it for me to go through such a point as not allowing myself to see the bigger picture and instead only focused on that one moment as the one reaction which I think and believe is ‘too much’ and I cannot direct myself within/as it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the back chat of “it’s better if it ends” in relation to another/a social relationship in thinking and believing that ending it/giving up is the solution to the points I face within myself in relation to the point, instead of stopping, breathing and finding solutions that do not involve me just giving up because I think there is nothing I can do or that I am inadequate/incapable, and rather see how I can change as the ‘doing’ which can be done to bring the point to solution rather than giving up/acceptance of conflict

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within/as the back chat of “I can’t do this” in thinking and believing that the reactions I face in relation to another is more than me/superior to me and I am incapable/inadequate of walking through as self-directive principle and so rather think and believe that I cant do it and so I shouldn't do it as giving up on myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the back chat of “they don't want this/they don't care" in relation to another as a justification in which I use to manipulate myself to giving up, which is the direction I have already allowed of/as myself to go, and instead of taking responsibility for this, allow such back chats as ‘it’s them who wants to give up’ so that I can give up and absolve myself from facing the reality and responsibility that I am in fact the one giving up

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the back chat of “what’s the point” in relation to another/social relationship and the points I face within that in thinking and believing there is no way I can ‘get out of it’ or find stability within a moment of inner conflict

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within/as the back chat of “what are we doing” as a way in which I manipulate myself into giving up in relation to another/a social relationship – as questioning the interaction/relationship as if ‘that’ is the problem, instead of seeing ME as the active participant and so self-responsible for my own creation as the interaction/relationship

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to give up within the relationship in moments of reactions, as the back door in which I’ve created to be a quick fix for problems I think I cannot change/find solutions for, instead of realizing that what I am facing within the interaction/relationship is ME, and to want to give up is to give up on ME, and so instead of allowing this – rather investigate what it is I am in conflict with, as it exists within me, and so find solutions, stay and face ME instead of running away as giving up

When and as I see myself existing within/as back chats in the nature of giving up and justifying why it’s okay that I give up on myself within/as a relationship/interaction with another – I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that in a moment of reaction I have the tendency to not see the big picture, and not see that I can stabilize myself and see more clearly, and so I commit myself to not allow myself to participate in the giving up back chats as it’s a way of running away from me, not realizing it’s NOT a solution and in the end I will be faced with the same points, as they exist within/as ME and so I commit myself to not participate in back chats as giving up, and instead breathe until I stabilize, write out the points I am reacting towards and as, and find the practical solution as the corrective application I can live to change who I am in relation to the point I am reacting to in relationship/interaction with another.

Will continue in the next blog with the 2nd interview in this series... 




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28 October 2014

374: Why Do we Give Ourselves the Option of Giving Up?

I am currently busy walking the EQAFE Atlantean Series "Giving Up". I highly recommend this series, as well as any series on Eqafe, but specifically the Atlantean's as they present a step-by-step guide on 'how to' understand and correct specific emotions/feelings we face throughout our lives.

So the first interview was insightful and supportive for me, because although I was able to identify the 'giving up' thoughts that were coming up in relation to a specific point I am facing in my life - what I was able to see more clearly through listening to the interview was the trigger of this giving up play out within my mind which came from an initial reaction to a point in my life that was negative in nature, and from there I activated this 'giving up' construct within/as me. It was quite a heavy experience this past week as this specific energy/emotion was coming up as wanting to give up. That is why I am so grateful for the Atlantean series, as it supports you to see ALL the dimensions in relation to a particular point you are facing; what is behind it and what to look for, specifically, as to dismantle system within you. Like I said, I am currently busy with the first part of the interview series and the practical application suggested. Below I will share the self-forgiveness that came from that, and in the blogs to follow I will share the process in which I am walking in relation to letting go of this energy of wanting to give up.

So although this particular 'desire to give up' came up in relation to just one point I am facing/walking in my life - it is something I can relate to in various aspects/parts of my life, throughout my life, and as described in the interview, one of the cunning ways in which we manipulate ourselves into giving up - usually at the moment of transcendence - when we are at that pivotal point in our process, we will want to give up. So suggest to read the following out-loud and see where you have allowed yourself to give up at the moment just before the 'big break' where if you would have allowed yourself to stick with it just a little longer, you could have freed yourself from the constraints that facilitate the belief that you must just give up.

Phase 1 - Part 1:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react negatively to another's change in their interaction with me as them distancing themselves from me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react negatively to another's change in how they interact with me as being disengaged from me and to within this – think and believe they are not interested in me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define another as no longer being interested in me as a negative thing and to within this, place so much value on whether or not they are interested in me, that I lose sight of me being interested in me

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that in me placing so much emphasis and importance on how others see me/interact with me that I do not acknowledge the starting point of such an experience, which is me not caring or having any interest in myself and so I seek it out in another

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as not interesting

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as the back chat of  "they are not interested in me” as a reaction to another changing their interaction/behavior with me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as the back chat of “We have nothing in common” in thinking and believing that without energy as positive experiences, we have nothing to keep us interacting/relating and so validating and trusting myself within energy in relation to others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having positive energy when interacting with others in thinking and believing that without it, we have nothing to keep us interested and interacting

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that relationships/social interactions require energy as positive feelings to exist

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to explore a relationship/social interactions with others without emotions and feelings as energy to play a role, in a way, hiding my real self for an experience with another, instead of getting to know the reality of each within/as relationship/interaction and thus getting to know another and myself for REAL

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to diminish myself within back chats of abuse wherein I diminish myself in such a way wherein I tell myself I’m not good enough in relation to others, as comparing myself to them and them as more than me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not yet see, realize and understand the equality inherent within myself and others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having created relations with others based on energy as interest and positive experience and to think and believe that without the energy experience, we will not have anything in common/any reason to interact; that we cannot possibly remain in any kind of social interaction/relationship

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to throughout these back chats acceptances and allowances, to fear being alone/without friendships/relationships/social interactions – in thinking and believing without energy as positive experience, we will cease to exist, and because of that I will be alone, and so ultimately fear being without another/a relationship/social interaction/alone with myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that I am always alone, at the very core and origin of my existence as who I am and will always be is alone, and that to fear it is to fear my very existence, and the nature of existence, as all being ALLONE and so I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to embrace this aloneness as the onenenss and equality of life

When and as I see myself participating in negative back chats in relation to my relationships with others as reacting to ‘what we have’ together and what we've created as our relationship/social interactions – I stop and I breathe and I ground myself in that moment. I see, realize, and understand that this initial negative reaction was due to a change another made within themselves, and exposed where I was in relation to that, as also participating in a positive energy, and so instead of going into judgement about what has happened/what I've allowed within/as myself in relation to my relationship with others and where I am at the moment, to rather learn from the mis-take and see what is required to change, instead of projecting failure unto my relationships with others, to instead take responsibility for myself within/as the social interactions/relationships as a part/extension of myself and so I commit myself to not accept and allow myself to participate in back chats of the mind in relation to social interactions/relationships not working out, and instead ground myself in the physical and work it out in writing to see what is going on, remove any fears or reactions that may be triggering the back chats, and to instead find practical solutions for myself in terms of aligning myself back into my self-stability, without the need or participation of positive feelings or negative emotions and I clearly see relationships based on energy cannot stand/last as well as if I see that if my social interactions/relationships are in conflict, It is because I am in conflict within myself and so to take responsibility for that point, as myself before placing importance or priority unto any relationship/social interaction outside of myself here

Will continue with part 2 of this first phase in the blog to follow...




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25 October 2014

373: Changing the Past

I am continuing here from the previous blog in relation to a memory/experience of when I was a child in dance class, being put in the back row and interpreting this as a personal thing against me, as implying I was not good enough to be in the front row. Here the corrective statements and realizations to live by, as I can see just how much that one moment from my childhood defined/influenced the rest of my life.

When and as I see myself interpreting another's actions or words towards me or in relation to me, as something personal, specifically as it implying I am not good enough - I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand how since my childhood, from one moment of accepting and allowing myself to take it personal when my dance instructor put me in the back row, as implying I was not good enough to be in the front, I carried this self-belief and idea about me that I was somehow not good enough as who I am, and that my place belonged in the back - simply from accepting this one moment of mis-interpreting another's actions towards me without seeing the common sense reality of why I was being put in the back row.

And so I commit myself to not participate in the assumptions, and ideas in my mind when they are making another's actions or words towards/about me personal and instead stick to the breath, stick to the physical, and thus stick to the REALity of what is actually going on and not allow my ego to come to any CONclusions about what is going on.

When and as I see myself defining things in relation to good/bad or positive/negative - specifically in relation to what I'm doing, or what someone is saying to me, or directing me in a particular position, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand the consequence of defining things about me and others, and existence really, in the context of polarity as good/bad, or positive/negative as a limitation to mean that I can only be/experience/express in either of those two points, instead of removing the polarity, remaining stable, seeing reality for what it is and so not to enslave myself to be determined by how I define something/someone/me as only positive or negative - as well as how I then accept myself to experience myself according to how I defined a particular point/event/situation wherein if I define it as positive, I feel positive or if I defined it as negative, I feel negative. So rather I commit myself to stop limiting myself, others, situations, life and existence as a whole to be that of only two points, positive or negative, and instead let go of the polarity construct within my mind as it has no grounding in physical reality.

When and as I see myself comparing myself to others as others being better/more than me, and me as not good enough/good as them - I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand how destructive comparisons are in this context, and how I have been accepting and allowing this kind of use of comparisons to flourish in my life wherein I use it as a constant reminder that there are those that are better than me and so I should rather sit back, keep quiet and let others take the lead - and how this is based on an idea of myself from my childhood that I have been sustaining and living out, yet was not founded/grounded on any substantial/real evidence, but based within the mind as a reaction of taking something personal in a moment, and comparing myself to others. Instead I commit myself to use comparisons constructively as seeing how others live, and express themselves as examples from which I can learn and expand myself, rather than to use it to diminish myself and essentially keep me in a fear of breaking through the initial belief about me that I am not good enough to be in the front/to be seen

When and as I see myself internalizing my external reality and interactions, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that the mind does not interpret reality based on common sense, or physical reality, but solely on self-interest, self-belief, and assumptions and so I commit myself to no longer accepting and allowing myself to reflect upon my reality and situations that I am a part of through my mind, but to rather write out any refraction that I experience as to ensure I am seeing FOR REAL, and not through the mind's eye of separation as judgments, comparisons, or self-limitations and to rather investigate what is REAL in an situation based in common sense, understanding and clarity. I commit myself to stop allowing my mind to interpret my life, and rather take responsibility for my own life and what is here and who I am in relation to it.

When and as I see myself feeling bad about myself based on ideas/judgments of me that I am somehow not good enough, or should stay in the background/back row, and to within this, blame myself for being one who is not good enough, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, understand that this self-belief and experience of me is a consequence of a constant acceptance and allowance of myself that I Have listened to time and time again, and that has it's origins in my childhood wherein I defined my dance instructor putting me in the back row as implying I was not good enough to be in the front and how in that moment, I accepted the idea that there must be something wrong with me/I must not be good enough since I was not put in the front row. I commit myself to stop living out the patterns developed throughout my life and to instead let go of the belief that I must stay in the back, or that allow me to blame me for thinking I am not what others expect of me - instead I commit myself to change the pattern and make a decision about who I am based on actual physical reality, and not within my mind as fear, self-interest, and judgments and so to ultimately let go of this moment/memory as to no longer keeping the past alive and to instead LIVE HERE, in this moment, as who I am now - not who I thought I was 25 years ago.

When and as I see myself wanting to hide out, and stay in the background as not drawing attention to myself or being visible by too many people, I stop and I breathe. I ground myself in this moment through breathing before I allow myself to live out this idea of me, as I see/realize/understand that this construct is based on the past of who I was in a moment as a reaction in relation to being put in the back row of my dance class and how I've come to find comfort in the belief that I do not have to face the fear of who I would be 'in the front'. I commit myself to do that which I resist, to stop living out the idea that I must remain in the background and not visible, and instead see who I am HERE, visible and present and willing to live out loud for all to see as I realize if I am not hiding anything within me, then I have nothing to hide from others. I commit myself to stop living out my childhood fear and belief that I am not good enough, and face myself in those moments I fear the most and to move beyond the constraints of this construct based on memories from my childhood.




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