The reactions were in the form of blame and anger and the more these thoughts/reactions were coming up - the more outwardly I expressed this anger as an expression of myself as my words and physical movement/behavior and allowed it to exist as me in who I was at work. Meaning - a co-worker was being playful with me and joking around and I was 'stuck' in this mode of anger because I was giving attention to what was going on within my mind that was anger and blame and resentment towards another. The 'another' was not physically in my environment so obviously this is the Mind at work, and it's points that have been surfacing over the last few weeks that I have made a point to write out for myself but have not gotten to it yet.
And so I became angry and expressed this friction I was having within myself towards this other being in my actual, physical environment. I mean I 'attempted' to get through it in speaking about my experience and what was going on and how I was in that moment reacting and now I was in 'a mood'. But that is absolutely unacceptable because I could have simply seen what I was doing/participating within, realizing it's a point I've had the opportunity to work with but had not yet given myself the time/space to do so and so here it was coming up again, yet I was at work and so in that moment, I could have stopped, breathed and not allowed myself to go into/exist in/validate the energetic experience I was having of the emotion of anger and resentment and instead flag the point for myself to work with later, and thus not allow it to influence who I am/was in that moment and how I interacted with others.
So forgiveness tonight on the point of allowing myself to participate in thoughts/back chats as reactions within my mind and then through this participation, generate the energy as emotions of anger, blame and resentment and then from here, express it outwardly in my physical reality and towards people in my reality, who are not the one's I am actually 'upset with' or having a reaction towards.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in thoughts/back chats within my mind as anger and blame and resentment toward another as reacting to them and the past experiences with them as an act of separating myself from my actual physical reality/environment and so within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in separation of myself here, as the present moment, in reacting to past experiences with another as the form of memories within my mind and thus existing in separation as the past, carrying the past with me instead of releasing and letting go of that which I am still reacting to, from the past
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see these reactions points coming up within me over the last couple weeks but not make it a priority to work with in terms of writing them out, applying self forgiveness and scripting the correction/solution of how to direct myself in relation to these points and thus cause the continued existence of the reactions as energy/emotions of anger, blame and resentment to exist within me to the point where I become possessed by these reactions and thus validate them through outwardly expressing them as my words and behaviors when interacting with my actual, real, physical reality
I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to believe in the reactions/back chats/thoughts coming up within my mind about/towards another in my life through becoming angry and resentful towards them
I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the energy of anger and blame and resentment I created within my mind towards another being in my world in defining myself and accepting myself in 'a mood' and use this as a justification for allowing my behavior and words to change in my physical reality, while at work, and how I was interacting with others
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be influenced by the reactions/thoughts/back chats as anger, blame and resentment coming up withing my mind as becoming this anger, blame and resentment energy as how I physically expressed myself as my words and behavior
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stop myself in the moment of seeing myself reacting within my mind about another that is NOT in my immediate physical reality, as a point of support in remaning 'here' and with/as breath and in/as the physical reality through realizing that if I am thinking about someone that is not directly in my physical environment, then I am in the mind and thus use the support to stop and breathe and not continue to participate in the mind as the reaction
When and as I see myself reacting within anger, blame and resentment within my mind towards another that is not in my immediate environment, I stop and I breathe and bring myself out of the mind and back into/as physical reality, as my physical body as I see/realize/understand that if I am thinking about someone that is not directly in my environment, then I am in the mind and thus I commit myself to use this point of knowledge as a support for awareness application to stop myself from participating within the mind, bring myself back to REALity and not sustain myself within participating in the illusions of the mind
When and as I see myself participating in reactions within my mind such as back chats that then generate the energy as emotions of blame, anger and resentment that then influence me in changing me in that moment as wanting to outwardly express the reactions, I stop and I breathe and I support myself to slow down and breathe through the energetic reaction and flag the moment for myself to then take into writing and self forgiveness as a point of self investigating to see what is going on and thus not allowing it to influence me while at work, or in any moment in physical reality as it's an act of separation and so I commit myself to not allow reactions to influence me in the moment as wanting to express them as myself but instead give myself the time available i Have later in my day to see what is going on and release the reactions from me
When and as I see myself reacting within blame, resentment and anger towards another based on past experiences and moments with them, I stop and I breathe and I bring myself out of the reaction and into/as physical reality as my physical body as standing within the present moment as I see/realize/understand that to react to another from past moments with them, I am stuck in the past and thus separating myself from what is real here and so I commit myself to investigate the points I am holding onto as reacting to another from past moments and take into self forgiveness and self correction as changing myself in relation to the past, to see where/why I reacted and to give myself the support in how to approach similar situations in the future while supporting myself equally to remain within the present moment here, and not within the past as the memories within my mind
When and as I see myself accepting myself to be within 'a mood' that I see clearly is being influenced through participating in my mind, I stop and I breathe and I bring myself back to the point of self direction in not allowing myself to be influenced by what is going on within my mind but to instead stand stable within myself and direct myself to not be directed by the mind, and so I commit myself to breathe through any reactions to ensure I do not 'go into it' as becoming the reactions as a form of possession and instead breathe and direct myself to investigate the points when I am able within writing and self forgiveness, but to support myself to be in/as the moments of my days as the process of becoming self directive principle of me always, in all ways and no longer a slave to my mind
When and as I see a point of reaction coming up within my mind towards another, I stop and I breathe and I make it a note to work with what I am reacting to/what is going on within my mind as I see/realize/understand that if I don't, it will keep coming back and keep coming back until I direct the reactions within me and so as a point of prevention, I commit myself to write about any reactions or energies coming up within me that I see are 'here' and ready to be worked with and so not allowing myself to put it away and put it away until I reach a point where I become possessed in my physical reality due to not giving attention/direction to the reactions within my mind that have been continuously coming up - and so even I commit myself to flag any points that I see surface more than once as a point of support to remind myself that this is something that requires my attention and so I commit myself to write it out, apply self forgiveness and self corrective statements as to actually direct myself in walking through the mind/facing myself as my mind and releasing myself from the reactions of the mind as an actual act of separation that keeps me in the mind and no here, fully participating in/as physical reality
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