18 September 2013

249: Stand Up... No, Really - Stand Up

Three years ago I was shown a way to stand that is an actual, physical 'standing up' and self directed positioning of self as being here. My shoulders are back and down, my chest is out and I stand, facing my world, walking with one foot in front of the other.

When I was first shown this supportive physical stance - there were immediate reactions. It was one of, "I'm sticking my chest out - this is being snobby". Just in this one physical movement of myself, attached were all these mental ideas of 'how' I was standing and walking. And in this, felt like I 'should not' be standing/walking in such a way - almost as if I was inferior to this posture.

I have since applied this standing of myself as my physical body. When I become aware that I'm slouching, I stop and I put my shoulders back and down, I stand up straight and I stick my chest out as no longer allowing myself to 'sink' into myself as a way to 'cave into' myself. It's interesting how much I never considered how I physically am here; how I move and position my body, how I stand as my actual physical beingness - that alone expresses so much about who I am accepting and allowing myself to be.

So I found this to be a very cool application and self support I could give to myself in no longer accepting and allowing myself to be a lesser version of me; I can actually stand up within myself, as myself, assert myself here, stand up straight and face the world - directing myself with one foot in front of the other, open to what is here - standing equal to what is here.

What is more interesting within this application, is I still have/allowed that reaction within me where I feel as if I 'should not' be standing in this position. It's like I fear drawing attention to myself. Or fear others are judging me for standing up straight - as if to think "she thinks she's better then everyone" and within this I can see how I have judged others that I see stand up straight, shoulders back and actually directive in their physical bodies as facing people in their world, and their reality as a whole. It's like within such a standing one is saying, "I am here and I am moving myself, I am directing myself, I am walking myself in such a way that I see is best for me - this is Me Here" - literally a standing up within/as oneself. Yet how I have come to define, interpret and judge the stance is within a superiority, a snob or someone looking for attention as one who would stick their chest out. Or even one that thinks of themselves to be better than others. It's quite interesting this would be my judgment of such a stance in others - only revealing how I was/have been limiting myself within actually understanding how a physical stance of our bodies can so much change the way we experience ourselves and how we accept ourselves and how we see others.

Within me standing and positioning myself within this kind of physical posture - I feel like I should not be standing this way - that others will see me how I have seen others in such a position, it's like a feeling of "I think I'm better than others" and "I don't deserve this" kind of thing - which is interesting because... I don't deserve to stand up straight and align my physical body with an expression of myself that will not accept anything less than who I am as a being of dignity, integrity, directive-ness and the willingness to embrace this life and walk with what is here? That is quite interesting the thought of deserving this, or not deserving. I see I am not actually serving myself when I accept such a point/reaction within me in relation to my physical standing. Instead, I only keep myself limited to a point of self-restriction - where I slump my shoulders, attempt to hide within myself, closing myself off to myself and my world - like literally trying to run away and not stand here. Like a crawling into self.

So this is a cool point of re-alignment with our physical bodies; directing ourselves as our physical bodies to express and actually walk/stand in such a way that declares - I am here - I direct myself, I move myself, I face myself and what is here and I do not accept anything less than what is best for me and thus what is best for all.

I will continue in the next blog with self forgiveness statements for the reactions towards this physical standing and commitment statements for myself that I can/will apply in the moments of physically correcting/re-aligning myself within who I am here as my physical body and how I direct and express myself.

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