08 September 2013

244: Moving Forward

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look outside/separate from me here as a source from which will give me direction in my life, where I think and believe I require something outside and separate from me here to guide me, to direct me, and tell me ‘what to do’ and ‘how to see this’ thinking and believing I am missing some important information that once I have I will somehow come into a more clearer perspective of ‘what I should do’ when really I was within the experience of “I don’t know what to do’ in the face of challenges, of something I have never faced before, and didn’t know ‘how to proceed’ and thus within this experience of not knowing ‘what to do’ attempt to alleviate this experience of feeling inferior or inadequate or without proper information to take on the challenges before me and so within this

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to accept and experience myself as inferior and inadequate and essentially diminished in ‘not knowing what to do/how to proceed’ within certain points in my life and to within this negative experience and self definition of “I cannot figure this out on my own” look and seek for an outside source separate from me here to tell me what to do, to give me some magic answer, to tell me what I am missing and how I should consider the points I am looking at in my life and so essentially giving into the idea that I cannot simply sit with myself and determine for myself what is best for me, best for all, what is practical and what are solutions and so within this

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to see only the problems as how I perceive them to be, in front of me and within seeing the problems, feel as if they are ‘too big’ to really walk through and thus missing the practical reality solution in which I can live as myself and so here

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to see only problems and not will myself to see what is best as a practical reality solution

When and as I see myself seeking an answer or source outside of myself for direction, guidance or an answer as to how to approach points in my life, how to proceed, ‘what to do’, I stop and I breathe and I bring myself back to myself here, back to the awareness as how I am able to actually determine for myself what I would like in my life, what I am currently facing – removing all the self interest as feelings and emotions and reactions in relation to the points and instead investigate with real eyes what is best within the situation I am currently facing; seeing, realizing and understanding that no one can tell me how to live my life, who to be within and as my life as this is something I must stand within as who I am here, I must be my own self guidance system – my own self determining factor of what I will do and how I will do it and of course who I will accept and allow and not accept and allow myself to be within and as it all and so here I commit myself to  bring myself back to myself when I see I am in my search for an outside source to give me some magic cure that will solve all my problems, instead of standing within the realization that I am fully capable of doing such a thing for/as myself – to investigate myself, my life and what is here as my reality/points in my life and to thus be able to make a self honest, practical assessment as to what is best in the process of ‘moving forward’

When and as I see myself feeling inadequate or diminished or limited within the face of points in my life that I perceive to be problematic – I stop and I breathe and I bring myself out of the reaction as standing separate from the points here as my life, and instead stand within equality to what is here realizing, seeing and understanding that only once I stand equal – meaning without feelings, emotions, reactions, thoughts, back chats and so thus essentially without energy – can I begin to see with real eyes what is necessary in relation to what is here as what I am currently facing – realizing this is how I will be able to determine for myself what is practical, what is best and what is required of/as myself to live within/as the solutions that are required as moving forward and no longer seeing only a problem, but instead realizing that here too are solutions and so I commit myself to not stop myself within a problem I am facing, but to instead stop myself from reacting, breathe and to begin the process of investigating what is here for me, as myself and what is the possible ways in which to move forward, of how to proceed in finding practical reality solutions without the influence of self interest and no longer thinking and believing I cannot possibly direct myself or my life but instead commit to realize that only I can and thus only then will it be real as I for myself am giving myself the direction and the process in which to walk to find and live solutions I see are best for all/me

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