27 August 2013

Day 240: A Road Less Traveled

A Fall is not a Failure - this is a process of Self Perfection - Perfecting ourselves as we Go. We walk, we fall, we stand, we make mistakes, we learn - we do it until we get it right.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall within my commitment in not taking a nap for 21 days

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a failure because I fell on taking a nap today

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my habit to napping as something easy I should be able to stop and to within this define myself as useless in not being able to do just an easy thing as stopping naps for 21 days

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect this of myself, in building myself up as being so ‘good’ in stopping a habit yet not being able to actually walk the physical commitment of stopping – creating myself within a high of superiority and then having to prove myself that I am not by falling and not sticking to the physical walk and daily process of stopping my habit of napping

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see the moment of being able to stop and then deciding to go for it anyway, giving in in that moment despite the script I had written for myself as the correction I can live in not accepting and allowing myself to give into the temptation of my mind as I tell myself that I must nap – that the day is too long and I am too tired and a nap would be a cure for my avoidance

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to make my 21 days of no napping about napping when it’s in fact not about napping, as napping is the consequential outflow, the manifested consequences I have created as physical actions I live out from my participation in self defeat, limitation and resistance where I resist doing the things I see necessary in a day, or where I can expand myself within certain activities, where I can direct myself in supporting myself through certain actions and yet I don’t “want” to do these things and thus turn to napping as a way to run and hide

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself within what is possible in a day, where I have created a routine for myself in my day of daily responsibilities and once these are done I am free within the time I have available to do more, to expand myself within different skills or activities as actually applying myself and giving myself the time to learn and grow and develop and yet when my ‘routine’ of what I have accepted as my tolerance is done, not push myself beyond this, say this is enough, I have essentially giving myself the ‘okay’ to do what I usually do but not move beyond this and use the disguise of “im tired’ and ‘enjoying naps’ to be the justification to not expand myself

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to not address the cause of my habit of napping as the deliberate avoidance of certain activities and time available I have to utilize in actually expanding who I am within this reality and instead decide to nap as a way to keep myself contained within the limitations I have placed around me – as saying that “if I do this, then this is enough and I cannot possibly do more than this”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself within my days in thinking and believing that I cannot learn more, develop more, push myself through certain activities and tasks that could actually support me in this world to live within my potential, and instead choose to remain the same as the tolerance I have accepted of what I will change

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself within what I can change about me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself within what I can change in how I live

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself within how I perceive what I am capable of

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to settle of a lesser version of me that is okay to push a little bit but not beyond this – beyond the borders I have placed as ‘acceptable change’ realizing that I am still limiting myself within who I am as a being and not willing to push beyond it – to see what lies behind the lies I tell myself within my mind of what I am actually capable of in this life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I cannot possibly direct myself in moments where I don’t have something on my schedule and where I have time available that is free for me to do more than what I have accepted as acceptable change/development and to within this not take advantage of the moments I have given myself as the opportunity to become self directive within self movement – making the decision and commitment to no longer accept anything less than who I am as life and to stand within this in pushing in every moment to be fully who I am capable of as my potential as I see/realize/understand still how much I am limiting myself within my process of change

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to walk my process in such a way where I justify a little bit of change as ‘being enough’ and within this, feel satisfied and not face the fact that within self honesty I see that I am giving myself excuses and justifications to not go beyond the borders of self limitation, of resistance, of fear, of avoidance in trusting these experiences in relations to points in my life that could actually prove to be a benefit to me in developing myself and my ability to live within principles of integrity and trust as self expression and effectiveness as a human being in this world, letting go of the brainwashing and programming I have said is me and instead actually live the potential within and as me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never think about or consider the potential that is here as me, as I never thought of myself as having potential through a self created, accepted and allowed self belief that I am not good enough, not worthy enough, ‘this is the way I am’ and that is all I will ever be

I forgive myself that I have never accepted and allowed myself to question this belief that “this is who I am and that’s all I will ever be” in actually believing that I cannot decide who I will be and thus live this into physical reality – as a physical being – living within principles of no longer limitation but exploring the possibilities and potential that is here if I would just dare to stop this self abuse as limitation and doubt that I cannot possible change beyond what is comfortable for me

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to become complacent in my process of change in thinking and believing “I have changed enough” and to within this, limit myself within not actually moving beyond what is currently here as me as I see/realize there is potential within me – I see how I am limiting and diminishing myself – and I see what must be done so why oh why would I accept this of myself – because I have defined these moments of change has hard and the road most traveled as in what I have always done – that is easier and thus take the easy road in life, not realizing that I am accepting a lesser version of me and so here I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept the lesser version of me as taking the easy road in life, in not utilizing the words I have placed for myself as the correction I realize must be walked and see when it must be applied and how in such moments of decision to either fall or stand, as daunting the stand is – and how easy I think the other choice is, I can make it through and what I believed to be difficult was only for a moment as what I was accepting of myself and once I no longer accept it I realize it was not real because I am still here and so I commit myself to when and as I see myself in the moment of choice, the moment of change, not utilizing the correction as the words as me placed here to support myself in such very moments, stop and breathe and while I contemplate that moment of either falling or standing – breathe, breathe until there is no more influence in either direction, breathe until I am here, breathe until what remains is me as my physical breath, standing within my physical body – standing within this physical reality, here and thus make the decision that is best for me and is best for all as standing within the principle of no longer accepting a lesser version of me – no longer accepting and allowing myself to take the easy road, but dare to see what is beyond the lies of my mind as who I have accepted myself to be

I commit myself to re-walk my process of 21 days of no naps and take the focus off of the naps and back to where it belongs – what is here as me, within my mind, as my thoughts, feelings, emotions and beliefs about me that tell me I cannot possibly move beyond who I currently am, that I cannot possibly change

I commit myself to realize that I can change

I commit myself to realize that change might be difficult but is worth it as I am gifting myself with the ability to live a life to my full potential in no longer accepting a limited version of me

I commit myself to realize that what I have changed is not enough as I still accept and allow limitation

I commit myself to make the decision and commitment to actually change me – to not only write myself out daily, to self forgive daily, to self corrective statements – but to actually LIVE the change as the corrective application realizing that anything I do to prepare myself is useless if I am not living that change and so here I commit myself to walk myself through the process of actual, real, physical, practical change in living corrective application – to actually utilize the scripts I have written as self forgiveness and corrective statements – to take this knowledge and information and realizations and insights and actually APPLY them in my day to day life, no longer giving in that moment where it matters – where I face the decision of who I am, what I live, and where I am going – the easy road or the road less traveled 


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