234: Movement of Hope Energy

So cunning the mind can be as the influence over us in how we experience ourselves and how we trust it’s pictures to be showing us reality when in actual reality all we are within is an experience that makes us feel good and that we will hold onto as long as we can without realizing it’s the illusion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to automatically go into hope at the words of another implying a change within my reality as what I define to be ‘positive’ in relation to how it serves my self interest and self definition and so when another speaks words of implying a change within my reality that I define to be positive – go into hope as the imagination plays out within my mind of what it will be like and how it will go and how I will feel – of course always within a ‘happy light’ as the mind does not take into consideration actual reality and what it will actually take as physical actions to produce an outcome that one could be satisfied with but instead see the light at the end of the tunnel and tunnel visions themselves into seeing only the imagination and separates self from the reality that is here in the moment as the words are spoken

and so I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to trust, accept, allow and then exist within the energy as hope within my mind as the reaction to the images playing out within my mind of what my life will be and how it might change – not stopping myself in that moment to breathe through the energy experience, but instead exist as an automation of reactive energies that just come up and so here I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not have yet slowed myself down enough with breathing and writing to be able to be more directive with myself in moments where I see all energies arising within me that I have come to simply accept as me, not realizing the consequences I create in such participation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within this polarity as positive energy as hope, holding onto the words of another that I allowed to trigger within me images of how my self interest will be served and what I can gain from such an imagination as the experience I have as the energy in that moment, not realize the point exists as a polarity and thus as I exist in the positive so to the negative must exist and reveal to myself as my experience change in an instant where the words imply not what the imagination shows me, that the actual reality is not practical to be walked at this moment and so then experience myself drop from the high of positivity where I prove that I was not actually standing on stable ground, in physical reality, but instead within my mind up on a positive high, dependent upon the energy to determine myself as my experience in that moment and so change in an instant the words shatter my illusion as my imagination and I am left within the negative polarity experience of myself as sad and depressed and not willing to walk the time I see necessary to actually create the changes in my life I would like to see –

and so here I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to exist as polarity, dependent upon energy as the determining factor of who I am and how I will experience myself, enslaving myself to the energy of highs and lows that exist in my acceptance of the existence of my mind where images and pictures and energies are conjured up to produce feelings and emotions that drag me around and yet I am absolutely responsible for as I accepted and allowed myself to in that moment of allowing imaginations to come up and myself to go into the energies that come up, not breathing through that moment, abdicate my directive will and power and principle of who I am here, as a physical breathing being, and instead separated and limited and diminished myself to only energy and thus not consistent or stable as who I am, thus not trustworthy as I show myself that I change in a moment without my directive will but as a subject to energy that presents itself and i have accepted as me

and so here I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am energy as the emotions and feelings I produce through my participation in my mind as the experiences I have that are not consistent, stable or trustworthy as I do not know what the next moment will bring and how i will experience myself because I have limited myself to be a slave to energy - a slave to my experience, not realizing I am creating it all along and so to I can create stability, consistency, and trustworthiness as who I am here as the principles that stand the test of time with the tools of breathing, writing and self forgiveness and self corrective statements and LIVING actions - where I no longer allow myself to follow the energies that come up, accept them and then live them as if they are real, but instead to breathe through the energy, releasing it back to substance and revealing I am still here, I am the same, I have not changed and I directed myself within that to not be swayed, moved or influenced by energy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall to the negative polarity as the actual reality of what I was attempting to run and hide from as the positive imagery in my mind showed me a picture that made me feel good, instead of walking in/as physical reality, in actual space and time, breath by breath and not allow myself to fall for hope in my mind as the alternate reality I have created that makes me feel better within the actual reality we have here

and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate and accept and create a reality that exists in such a way where I would rather go into my imagination and the hope energy that I have created as a way to escape from the actual reality, of how it actually works in physical reality – to create a reality that one would like to live – not realizing that the imaginations in my mind are the distractions I give myself and believe in in order to not become responsible and directive in my world here, and so basically allowing my enslavement of not being here, not understanding how reality works, not understanding how my mind works and why I have trapped myself into an illusion that I have trusted more than physical reality

When and as I see myself participating/existing within hope as an energy within me based on the images within my mind, I stop and I breathe and I bring myself back to myself as a physical being and breathing through the energy as not allowing it to exist as me but instead direct it through me and back to earth through breath as releasing it from the hold I have allowed it to have over me as i see/realize/understand that hope exists because I have not taking responsibility for my creation as who I am here and have not been willing to understand my reality and what is here as this reality and instead  have chosen to stay in hope as a feel good drug that allows me to escape from actually becoming real here, directive in sorting out myself and this world

When and as I see myself being triggered by the words of another that produce an imagination within my mind that comes with the energy of hope i stop and I breathe and I flag this moment for myself as a point to investigate as to why I am placing value as the energy of hope onto this image within my mind, and not standing here in physical reality, with/as my physical breath and directing myself to creates changes within and without that will produce a reality that will no longer require hopes - so here I commit myself to investigate the trappings of my mind as the energy of hope, what value I am placing on the images, why I allow it to make me 'feel good' and why I have created myself to exist in such a way where energies can take me over in a moment without my power and will - I commit myself to stop the energies within me through slowing myself down as to no longer be able to claim it's automation, as I realize I have created it's program throughout time, throughout my life through my acceptance, allowance and participation and so here I commit myself to no longer trusting the energies that I produce through my participation in the mind and instead trust the breath as what is actually real as an experience within physical reality and stop all energies within me so I am no longer a slave, inconsistent or untrustworthy as I see how energy fluctuates and changes in one moment according to some outside source, separate from me here

I commit myself to walk my process of daily writing, self forgiveness and self corrective statements to walk myself to a point of eventual trust and stability, as each breath, without the need or direction of energy - so I can no longer claim to be a slave as I will no longer accept and allow it of myself

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