12 August 2013

228: Alone

A point here I experienced/faced today - Fear of Being Alone

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel alone as loneliness within myself in the wake of  another's death

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself and my beingness according to another being alive in a physical body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being alone

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist the realization and standing that I am alone

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to be alone with myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to fill a void of alone-ness I now experience since the death of another

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear myself being alone

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to be alone because in this I fear I am not able to be alone because I think I am afraid to be alone

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define being alone as a negative polarity charge

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to fill the void of being alone with talking to another being

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I cannot be alone because I do not trust myself to be alone

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself to be alone

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to create myself in such a way where I cannot trust myself to be alone

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think being alone is a bad thing

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to fear myself as being alone

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to fear the responsibility I have of being alone

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize what it means to be alone as all as one as equal

I forgive myself that I Have not allowed myself to realize that the fear of being alone is not a real fear and only exist within the illusion of my mind as I see/realize/understand that I am always alone within/as myself

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as not being able to be alone because I think I cannot possibly direct myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear directing myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think directing myself is something that I cannot do and to within this fear the self will required in order for me to gift this to myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in wants as wanting to be with another to not have to face my fear of being alone

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to want to run away from my fear of being alone instead of realizing I am always alone and filling this hole as the fear I have created of being alone with other beings is only temporary and not real solutions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within self interest as fear of being alone and thus desire to use others as their presence around me to not have to face my fear of being alone and instead just find ways to make myself feel better as having others around me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as unable to be alone as self directive in each moment to live in such ways where I align myself to the fullness of life that is here as each breath as the substance that is life of/as physical reality within/as equality and oneness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the fear of being alone to create an energy within my solar plexus of heaviness and discomfort

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stop myself the moment I see myself fearing being alone and bring myself back to breath in stopping my mind as the idea of being alone as a negative association and instead be here as the physical as my breath where all life is equal as one - allone

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to depend upon another for my feeling of being with someone where I am not alone

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value another's presence more than my own where I would look to another being to avoid experiencing myself as being alone, instead of realizing that alone I must walk my process of re-aligning myself with/as Life as what is here as Physical Existence

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use another and their presence to hide from my fear of being alone

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that in my fear of being alone I am creating a moment where I must face it and so here I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create consequences instead of living prevention as self forgiveness in correcting myself as who I define myself to be in relation to all life in stopping the fear of being alone and instead releasing myself from my own enslavement that is fear of being alone - instead gifting myself with the ability to stand alone, always in all ways equal and one with life

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to fear being alone for the rest of my life – without anyone to be with me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that if I am alone then I will be unhappy and lonely

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to not yet gift to myself the presence of myself – being here with myself as my breath in each moment with my physical body and my physical existence

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to instead of gifting myself with the ability to be alone, exist within fear of being alone as my mind

I forgive myself that I have not yet allowed myself to realize that the reason I fear being alone is because within the mind I am alone and what I am actually fearing is being here, responsible for myself as all as one as equal and thus self directive in living principles that no longer accept limitation as fear to influence or guide me but to instead trust myself within who I am in each moment as each breath to direct myself, guide myself, live for/as myself equal to and one with All Life - AllOne

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to exist within my fear of being alone instead of stopping and changing and no longer allowing this fear to direct me within hiding from myself as all as one as equal

I forgive myself that i have never accepted and allowed myself to walk into and through my fear of being alone in seeing what is actually here as the fear - to see if it is real or only a way I have avoided to realizing myself as who I really am, as being alone, one with all of life as physical existence that is here in each moment of each breath 

When and as I see myself fearing to be alone, I stop and I bring myself back to myself through breathing in and standing within/as the moment of the in breath as the silence that is me, that is darkness, that is alone and embrace me as being alone and then breathe out in allowing myself to let go in that moment of any fear and living into my physical reality through my physical body my stance of who I am as an equal being alone in/as my individual expression yet equal to and one with all that is here as I see/realize/understand that my fear of being alone is the fear of myself as all as one as equal and so I commit myself to stopping this fear through facing this fear and walking through this fear in realizing that I am always alone and in this aloneness I can become self directive and self trusted to always do what is best for all realizing that only I alone can make such a statement of who I am - I alone live and express who I am as a being and what I stand for/as within and as each moment and so I commit myself to breathing - being here

When and as I see myself thinking and believing I need to be around another or talk to another or reacting to not having another in my presence because of a fear of being alone, I stop and I breathe and I bring myself back to the self honest realization that this is within self interest and an attempt to run and hide from myself as who I am as alone and so I commit myself to stop my selfishness as using and abusing others to feed my own fears and instead face my fears head on as I have seen/realize/understood that fears are self created and a road block I place before me in limiting myself to see what is beyond what i believe is possible as who I am as a living being and so here I commit myself to investigating my fears, to find out what I am actually accepting and allowing within my fears and to push myself through each fear that is not relevant to life or me as a being walking a process of re-aligning with life as it's full and whole expression of/as equality and oneness

I commit myself to support myself with standing with/as my own presence as being alone through and as breathing

I commit myself to getting to know myself in creating a relationship with myself in no longer thinking I am alone but realizing I am Here - as I breathe I am Here and so is Life equally as one

I commit myself to direct myself through the fears and experiences in my physical body that are supporting me to see where I am accepting and allowing discomfort and pain to exists - to use the support I have of my physical body to find out what is going on, what am I accepting and allowing and to then walk the process of releasing/removing/forgiving the emotions and feelings I allow as energy in/as my physical body through the participation within the mind - I ground myself here and walk with/as reality 

I commit myself to stop needing another to validate my existence

I commit myself to stop using another to fill the void I have created within myself

I commit myself to stopping the fear of walking me as Life alone

I commit myself to stop thinking I require another to be happy

I commit myself to realizing I can stand Alone

I commit myself to Realizing only I can Stand Allone

I commit myself to living in ways that were shown to me by others as living examples of what is possible as Life in Human Form - that I can walk alone Self Directive - as strength, self will and self trust and only I can gift these to myself



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