15 May 2013

173- Stopping Dishonesty as My Journey to Life Blogs


I realize I have not yet finished up with self corrective statements for the forgiveness I applied a couple blogs ago - but here I want to hold myself accountable for an acceptance within this Journey to Life Blogs.

I have made a point to be consistent in walking my Journey to Life, in blogging daily as a way to support myself in walking out of my Mind and into Life here, basically re-scripting that which is Life, who I am as the living word - what I will live as principles that is best for all.

And so while I have committed myself to this commitment, I see days where I do not want to write, but do not want to 'miss' a day of JTL blogging - like wanting to 'keep up' and so I will just write a little bit, but not actually write out a blog and save it for myself for later to complete/write out and then post - and so then using this as a way to keep up and not get behind, yet I see dishonesty within this because I am not actually here as the blog - I am just doing it to save face, or present an image of walking the journey, or even fear of missing a day in how I see myself as being 'behind' in the journey. So not allowing myself to simply walk, direct myself as the blogs each day I am able and thus stopping the need to feed the ego in presenting some kind of image of myself that is not real. Half-assed walking is not acceptable. I either do it or I don't. I cannot bullshit myself with this.

So - exposure in holding accountable who I am within each blog - no longer accepting self interest as ego to direct me, but to become unconditionally self honest here with myself to ensure I am able to stand within the principles - as that is what is best for all. Trusting myself as Life to be able to be trusted with Life.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to write a blog, just a few words, as a topic to ensure that I keep up with the daily JTL blogs in thinking and believing that if I miss a day then I am bad

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not unconditionally apply myself within my blogs, as writing out the WHOLE point that is here as I write these words, as accepting the limited expression of deliberate abuse that only hides the dishonesty

I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to present an image I think and believe others will accept yet within this being dishonest with myself as I see I have yet to stand within the principle of self direction, self willing self to live for self and not for others and so becoming self honest for myself in seeing it is necessary to be done

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want to keep up within the daily JTL blogs as a way to save face in fear of how others will see me if I do not blog daily

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear getting behind in the daily JTL blogs

I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to define not blogging daily within a negative polarity charge, where I fear how I will experience not blogging daily, instead of creating the starting point of the daily JTL blogs to be for/as self as what is necessary to be done in correcting the who I am within/as this world to live within principles that stand for/as what is best for all, realizing that to change this world I must first change myself

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want to walk JTL daily blogs only to feed my ego as the presentation I desire others to look up to

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be dishonest with myself in not wanting to write, but not wanting to get behind and so placing a few words for me to write about 'later' so that I don't have to change in that moment, so I don't have to face myself in that moment - instead of utilizing the support I have as my physical body to be here, breathe and walk the blog as I see it is best for me/all

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by self interest in not wanting to write a daily blog instead of the interest of what is best for all in realizing that the only way to change this world is to change myself and so I forgive myself that i Have not allowed myself to unconditionally walk my Journey to Life as daily blogging in supporting myself to change myself so that I can once and for ALL remove the self interest that keeps me from seeing/realizing and directing what this world is into what is best for all - as what matters, really matters in this world

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that my dishonesty's are secrets instead of realizing the burial I create for myself as I bury myself with secrets and dishonesty, as they are still HERE as me, in not wanting to face it as I do not want to change it and so I forgive myself that I have not yet allowed myself to hold myself accountable for all that I see within myself that does not support me as life as what is best for all, where I still allow self interest to direct me

I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the Journey to Life in thinking and believing that I can manipulate it within using it to present myself as something that I am not to this world - instead of using it as a way to humble myself, to walk equal with others as myself, to share myself, to expose myself, to stand up as myself in no longer allowing limitation or lack of expansion as who I am

When and as I see myself wanting to place words for myself as my daily JTL blog, but not willing to actually walk myself through what is here as the blog as my words - I stop and I breathe and I make the decision to either walk it or not and no longer allowed myself to walk on the fence, only giving part of myself and not unconditionally all of myself as I see/realize/understand the dishonesty within placing a topic for myself to write later as a way to keep up and save face as the journey to life in wanting to be seen as something other then who I am with placing a blog daily - I commit myself to stop pretending I applying myself if I see that I am not. I commit myself to write a blog unconditionally or not at all, in making the decision to not half ass my process as a way to walk the fence in not committing to this process of self change

I commit myself to no longer hiding myself as my dishonesty and expose any self interest that I allow within/as my blogs

I commit myself to walk the journey to life for/as me as what is best for all

I commit myself to push myself beyond what I have allowed of myself as a limited expression that hides in secrets

I commit myself to present myself for real, as who I am, as what i have accepted as my mind and how through a process of self support, I am gifting myself the write to Life.



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