21 April 2013

152: Day 9 of 21-Day Breathing Challenge To Breathe or Not to Breathe... That is the Choice in every Moment

What use is the knowledge of breathing if it is not utilized/lived/applied?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the knowledge of breath as self support is useless without application

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to support myself with/as breathing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up on myself in not using breath to support myself and instead give into my addictive tendency as seeking energy within/as my mind

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to prevent consequences of how I experience myself in wanting to run away and sleep away my experience because I did not support myself with breathing and instead allowed myself to go within my mind, in using physical energy as substance for the purposes of self interest and within that experience myself as physically sick and weak as I see what I was accepting and allowing and did not stop myself

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to realize my responsibility in utilizing/applying breath to get me through moments where my addictive personality wants to seek out it's fix and instead continue to accept myself as powerless to my addictions instead of realizing that i created and fuel the points and so I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to become responsible with myself in supporting myself with/as breath to no longer support or fuel my desires as addiction to energy

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to stand in moments where I see a decision requires to be made, either take a breath and direct myself or allow myself to fall into the mind and allow myself to follow the trap as energy feelings and to in this moment, deliberately give up my self directive principle for the energies of the mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for my addictive personality and not using breath to get me through moments where I feel like I am falling to a point where I could never get up from

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in polarity of highs and lows wherein I realize and have seen and understand that if I go into the positive, I will eventually have to come back to reality and that is usually a hard crash landing and so I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to prevent myself from sabotaging myself in my physical living and breathing and stability through allowing the positivity within my mind that I generate good feelings with take me over and completely separate myself from actual physical reality as myself here as breath

I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize the support I have with  breathing in deciding not to utilize it when faced with a moment to go into my mind, believing I am not strong enough to stop my participation and that's it's too hard instead of realizing that I have created this relationship as being 'too hard to stop' my participation through each and every single moment I have allowed a thought/feeling/emotions/imagination/reaction/fantasy to exist within me, instead of realizing that I have the ability to stop, yet I must make that decision to do so and then apply/live the tools I have in order to support myself and so I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to unconditionally support myself as living preventable measures instead of bringing myself to the point of consequences wherein I feel like everything is too much and I want to run and hide and not face my dishonesty or responsibility instead of realizing it is the only way out - to stop and breathe and face what is here as me through writing, self forgiveness and self corrective statements

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately sabotage myself and compromise myself in my process through not utilizing breath through moments where I want to give into addictions as the energy of the mind

I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize that the only way to stop the addiction to energy and the consequences it creates is breath by breath

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as not able to breathe when facing the extent to my dishonesty and so think and believe I cannot stop here and take a breath, ground myself and reassert myself in/as the physical

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my self agreement and what is valuable and most important in my life in establishing who I am in each moment as self honesty and living principles that are best for all through participating in my minds search of self interest where I completely disregard physical reality and all beings in/as physical reality for the sake of my addiction to energy

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed of who I am and what I accept and allow and who I have become in feeling 'bad' about myself instead of stopping this negative experience and breathe and support myself with writing and self forgiveness and self corrective statements I am able to apply in each moment of breath if only I would give this to myself and so I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to give to myself the gift of breathing as pushing through the addiction to energy and remaining stable as self support realizing that I am not longer living effectively when I am consumed by energy being in my mind

When and as I see myself standing in the moment of choice as either going into my mind in search for energy to feed the addictive personality I have created within/as self interest that create consequence within who i am and my physical reality or to stop myself and to support myself with the application of the 4 count breath, when I see myself faced with this decision - I commit myself to stop and breathe and so I breathe in realizing that that is the only way to stop the self destructive patterns I have created within/as me that keep me trapped in the separation of not being here in/as physical reality, taking into consideration all of physical reality, all beings, all practical reality points that are needing my direction and attention as I see/realize/understand that to not breathe is to not live and to not live is to continue to allow the destruction of myself and this reality as in the mind I am only supporting the illusionary reality of energy as the abuse of the physical reality


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