20 February 2013

Day 116 - Living Words instead of Using Words

Here I will share a point of knowledge and information that is not applied as a living statement within oneself and one's world and how that leads to the consequence of reactions towards self and another. In communication I reacted towards another and their words and within this experience felt powerless or helpless in not being able to effectively communicate common sense as a way for them to 'hear' or 'see' what I was saying. It was because it was coming from a point of knowledge and information - things I have heard from others but have not unconditionally applied within myself, investigated for myself, but using it within the starting point of ego in 'wanting to be right' and forcing information and knowledge unto another. So the reaction of "they can't/don't hear what I am saying" is actually a self statement of "I have not lived this myself, I am not clear in this knowledge and information as a living expression of who I am, it is still just words that I have separated myself from because I have not put them into practical, physical living. What I have realized is that sharing my experience within applied knowledge and information is much more effectively 'heard' by others rather then speaking words that I am repeating because I defined them as 'sounding good'.

So some points to consider:
-using knowledge and information within competition as communication with another, attempting to be 'right'
-using knowledge and information that I have not unconditionally applied in my own life and thus attempting to get another to see/realize/understand and thus live that which I have not done/lived for/as myself
-experience of powerlessness in not being able to communicate to another points of realizations and self honesty I have seen within myself
-self judgment for attempting to use knowledge and information as a way to feed my ego of being right without slowing myself down to 'be here' as communication and thus share in/as clarity
-Using words in separation of me, from hearing them from another and defining them as 'good' and thus then use them to in turn get this reaction of 'sounding good' from another, again an ego point

The consequences of this is that I ended up getting frustrated and gave up/gave in to the experience I was allowing and abruptly ended the conversation, which caused strain on the relationship with another person.

This could/can be prevented simply by me taking it back to myself and taking responsibility for myself through investigating all things, all knowledge and information, all tools, all principles - to apply them to myself and my life before expecting another to do this just because I say so. The best way to create change is by being a living example, and so here is my 'preacher character' coming to surface in attempting to 'tell another' what to do, instead of doing it myself, showing it by how I live, who I am, how I express and communicate and what I will and will not accept and allow.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when hearing others sharing knowledge and information that I define and perceive as 'sounding good', use in communication with others as a way to present myself as 'sounding good' or smart or to create an experience within them that I had when I first heard the knowledge and information

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define and perceive others who use knowledge and information as a way that sounds good to me, where I can understand what they are saying and they make 'valid points' that i define as strong in their standing, as superior and to then use those words in attempt to get others to view me in the same way, as smart and knowledgeable

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use words as knowledge and information as a way to manipulate others into perceiving me in a way that I desire, as being smart and knowledgeable and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use/abuse others as a way to feed my ego of self interest in wanting to be seen as superior with the knowledge and information that I have

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that knowledge and information is useless if it is not lived and thus proved this to myself in speaking from knowledge and information without applying them as who I am in how I live each moment - as the words I spoke did not stand absolute, they were not an expression of myself, of my self honesty or my realization, but instead in separation of me to support the separation within me and thus fell without a stable grounding

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use words as knowledge and information as a way to compete with another through communication wherein if I disagree with someone, I use stored knowledge and information about things I have heard and pull them out as a defense mechanism, to 'save face' in not being wrong and use any means I can to come out on top; as the winner

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use communication as a way to compete with others, instead of realizing the competition is simply a war of the minds and has no real substance in this reality and thus I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to validate the self definitions of the ego in/as the mind through competing in communication as a way to be 'right' and the 'winner' of a conversation that has disagreements

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to apply all knowledge and information that I have heard and read and seen throughout my life, to investigate all things and keep only that which is good, only that which is self honesty in nature in being best for all, as taking into consideration this reality, everything and everyone and how to live effectively as the best to my ability and to no longer share words as a means to separate myself through competition

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to apply within my own life and living knowledge and information that I share with others in expecting them to do that which I have not done myself, which is see/realize/understand common sense insight and realizations and self honesty, wherein I can speak from my own living and not from the mind of stored knowledge and information that I have judged as 'good'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, from the starting point of using knowledge and information in separation of who I am as how I live, create an experience of powerlessness within me in communicating with another as feeling like 'they' can't hear me, 'they' don't understand what I am saying, instead of realizing that this is a self statement, wherein I have not explored the knowledge and information within myself and my life to really get to know what it means to be 'the living word', to thus then be the living example of living words equal and one with/as who I am instead of as the mind of knowledge and information used only for the service of self interest

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take responsibility for myself within the knowledge and information that I share with others through expecting and then blaming them for 'not hearing me' instead of seeing I have not 'heard' the words, I have not been 'here' with the words, I have not lived them as who I am and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project myself unto another as a way to abdicate self responsibility to being the change through investigating all things, all words, all knowledge and information and stopping the ego of self interest and competition in/as me that uses words in separation of me here

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that once I apply and live knowledge and information as a practical, physical living expression, then communication in all forms will stand as who I am as the words I speak and share and thus no more will I allow this feeling of powerlessness as I have given myself the power to be the words that I speak, to live the words that I speak, to be the living word that stand absolute in self honesty and self expression and thus no more require the need to 'prove myself' as the words because it is simply who I am

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for reacting within communication with another as I saw myself coming from a point of ego as using knowledge and information instead of immediately stop and breathe and bring myself back to the point of self responsibility, in allowing myself to see what I accepted and allowed but to not compound the experience through self judgment, and instead simply see what is/was required to be corrected

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the consequence of reacting to another and abruptly ending the conversation within giving up on myself and giving into the experience I was accepting and allowing within myself, and to thus cause strain on a relationship with another instead of realizing this could have been easily avoided through realizing that I am responsible for the words that I speak and words spoken in separation cannot stand absolute and will fall inevitable and thus I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to only see/realize/understand what is required to be changes because of the consequences that I have created instead of, lol, using the knowledge and information that i have about self and the process of self correction to prevent any further separation within myself and within my world, through investigating myself, bringing myself back tot he point of self honesty and self responsibility within all things and allowing myself to stand clear and stable within who I am, as the expression of myself, without needing to prove something or be right or support the war of minds and instead express unconditionally as who I am as the expression of myself, as the living word

When and as I see myself hearing another share knowledge and information that I then define as 'good' and 'smart', I stop and I breathe and I flag this for myself in knowing how the pattern has played out before, and so as a way to prevent myself form using that knowledge and information to get from another the reaction I had initially had about 'sounding good', I investigate the words and their meaning and determine how I can live them as a physical living expression of who I am, equal and one with me, and not in support of the ego of my mind as a means to be superior to others and thus I commit myself to investigate all things, to keep only that which is best for all, and to find ways in which I can live the words as who I am to support myself within standing absolute and clear within who I am when sharing in communication with others

When and as I see myself using words in separation of me through attempting to manipulate others to see me in a certain way, as being smart or sounding good, I stop and I breathe and I bring myself back to myself in/as the physical without the ego of the mind that attempts to compete and come out as better then others because I see/realize/understand that this is separation, this is not best for all, this is not self honesty and thus I commit myself to stopping the separation within and as me as using knowledge and information for the sake of self interest

When and as I see myself speaking in a moment words that I have heard before, that I have not investigated for myself and simply speaking without awareness of the living expression of the words, I stop and I breathe and I bring myself back to myself in/as the physical as breathing as I see, realize and understand that to speak words without awareness, within using what I have heard before to create a reaction or perception in another about me, is of self interest and is dishonest and so I commit myself to stop repeating words for the sake of self interest and ego and commit myself to living words as who I am, as expressing who I am equal with the words I speak, and not from a starting point of knowledge and information stored in my memory

When and as I see myself in communication with another, grasping for words in which I can compete with, that make me sound better and smart and will somehow allow me to 'win' the game I am playing with myself and others, I stop and I breathe and I bring myself back to awareness as who I am as breath and do not allow myself to play the game, the war of egos as I have seen realized and understand that this gets no one no where real fast and thus I commit myself to stop supporting competition and validation of egos within communication with others and simply express myself as the words that I speak, without needing to win or be validated for what I say, but simply share myself unconditionally within self honesty as the moment

When and as I see myself speaking in a moment as communication with others, saying to them 'what they must do' within something that I have not lived/applied in my own physical living, I stop and I breathe and I bring myself back to myself as the moment as awareness, to no longer project responsibility unto another without taking responsibility for myself first, as I see, realize and understand that I must be the change I want to see in this world, and thus implies I must live/walk the changes as who I am and live as an example without expecting others to change when I have not yet changed myself

When and as I see myself accepting and allowing and thus participating in the experience of powerlessness in communication/conversations with others, I stop and I breathe and I bring myself back to myself in/as the physical with/as my breathing and realize that I must go and look back throughout my days in where I was allowing myself to use words in separation of me as I have seen, realized and understand that to experience powerlessness in communication implies I have given my power away, and thus am not standing stable and absolute in the words I speak, and so I commit myself to taking responsibility for myself in what i accept and allow as the experiences of myself and to investigate where I still accept and allow myself to use knowledge and information in separation of me here as the experience of powerlessness implies I am not here as the words as the power of myself as self expression

When and as I see myself participating in self judgment for seeing reactions within my regarding who I was in a moment, I stop and I breathe and I do not perpetuate the energy experience within myself, instead I breathe and ground myself in the physical, clear myself from all reactions and instead take responsibility in seeing who I was in that moment, applying self forgiveness for allowing myself to react in that moment and not standing stable as who I am, as breath, and commit myself to live the correction as I see, realize and understand that this is a process, and will take many moments of my standing up and stopping and no longer allowing the inner reactions and mental realities to influence me and thus I commit myself to continue to support myself through my process/journey to life in becoming self honesty as I live each moment, breathing in/as each moment, being aware of myself, in what I accept and allow and no longer accepting limitation of the ego in it's attempt to impose it's existence on reality


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