27 July 2012

Day 58: Defending the Character "I am good to my cats"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to another when they said, “they are bringing cats in because they want attention", as defensive towards his statement

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I have to defend myself when another said, “they want attention” as the reason they were bringing in mice and so within this taking this statement personal, in beliving my character was being attacked and thus believe I have to ‘protect and defend’ my character

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a character in which I have to defend

I forgive myself that I have not yet allowed myself to realize that all characters are a false sense of self that does not serve what is best for all and only serves self interest as a way to define myself in separation from others and life here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the character of “I am good to my cats” and thus when another said I wasn’t given them enough attention, attempt to defend my “I am good to my cats” character

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to defend a character within myself as self definition of being ‘good to my cats’, instead of simply living it without defining myself as it within my mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe another was implying that I am not giving my cats enough attention and thus believe they were attacking me and within this allow myself to go into defense character of ‘who I am’ as a person who has cats

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the back chat of “not it’s not, it’s just them being cats” when another said they were bringing in mice as a way to get my attention, instead of seeing the point in self honesty and asking myself could this be true? Or am I giving them enough attention?

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to accept any and all thoughts that arise within my mind when interacting within my reality and not for once question what it is I am attempting to defend instead of realizing in defense I am going into war – within myself and within my world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to protect myself as ego instead of living here equal and one with all as me

When and as I see myself reacting to/towards another as defensiveness - I stop and I breathe and immediately look within self honesty at 'what am I defending?' as within this I realize that to defend is to define and to define is to limit as life is here as I am here as life as the physical as the breath and thus I commit myself to stop all defense of self definitions that is not within the consideration and realization of equality and oneness as what is best for all

When and as I see myself reacting to anothers words - I stop and I breathe and bring myself back into alignment within/as the physical as life as equality and oneness that is the breath - standing equal and one with the person I am speaking to and so no longer allowing separation to exists between me and another as reactions within the mind

When and as I see myself believing I am being 'attacked' by another in which I trigger within myself defense and protection - I stop and I breathe in bringing myself back into/as the realization that all are me - equal and one thus realize there is nothing to protect nor anything to defend, as the belief is created by myself, as myself and so I simply stop

When and as I see myself taking anothers words personal - I stop and I breathe and remove myself form the prison cell of taking things personal - as I realize it is my creation and thus I simply stop and realize to take something 'personal' is to be of ego, as self interest in where I make everything about me and so I commit myself to stop ego through the process of writing, self forgiveness and self corrective statements - to start to see for real who I am within and as this world equal and one

I commit myself to stopping all characters in the play as the game of life I have participated within and as and dare myself to step out of character to become equal and one as life

I commit myself to facing all characters of myself that i have created as a way to 'stay safe' in life with writing, self forgiveness and self corrective application - to ensure that I am not longer playing in an illusion, acting out the ego as the mind and start living here for real with all life that is here



25 July 2012

Day 57: Communication in my Head instead of with Another

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to another when they started to communicate with me

When and as I see myself reacting to another for communicating with me – I stop and breathe and remain here, commiting myself to no longer allow myself to react to another – yet simply stand clear in communicating with them as my equals

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect another to tell me what it is they want from me they start communicating with me

When and as I see myself expecting another to tell me what they want or why they are communicating with me – I stop and I breathe, and realize no purpose or reason is required, and simply allow myself to breathe, being here, equal and one with/as them and with/as the communication being expressed and thus I commit myself to stand clear within myself while communicating with others – to breathe here, being here, with others and as the expression of communication

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to another not asking me if I Had time to go over what it is they wanted to go over with me when they started communicating with me

When and as I see myself reacting to another not considering my time when communicating with me – I stop and I breathe and do not allow myself to go into blame and simply look within self honesty if the moment is appropriate within having the time to communicate and if not, simply direct myself to speak that it is not a good time. I commit myself to speak directly and no longer allowing, in being dishonest, go into back chats instead of speaking directly

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the back chats of ‘what is this about’ when communicating with another– instead of remaining here with the moment of communication with another

When and as I see myself existing within back chats of what the reason and purpose is of another communicating with me– I stop and breathe and do not allow back chats to direct me within me being here – I simply communicate and direct myself to ask, what is this about, without back chats existing as a way to separate myself from the moment and thus I commit myself to remain here within the moment of communication and commit to stopping the separation that exists when back chat arise in moments of communication with another

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the back chats of ‘this is random’ when communicating with another – instead of remaining here without needing a reason and purpose to be communicating with another

When and as I see myself reacting as back chat in my mind about a moment being random because I have not been given a reason and purpose, I stop and I breathe and bring myself back to the moment, as being here, and no longer allow myself to need a reason or purpose. Thus I commit myself to stopping all wants/needs/desires for a reason and purpose for myself, my life, and my interaction with my world and simply stand here, clear, breathing, equal and one with who I am as the moment in how it expresses itself

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to need and require a reason and a purpose to communicate with another – instead of allowing myself to simply be here with the moment as it arise

I commit myself stop believing there is a reason and purpose for everything and simply live, breathe, stand here in each moment as life as each breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define moments as ‘random’ when I define them as having no reason or purpose

I commit myself to stop defining moment of no reason and purpose as random, as I realize this is within judgment and simply allow myself to be here, equal and one, with the moment without judgments

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect a reason and a purpose to communicate with another

I commit myself to realize there requires no reason or purpose to communicate with another, as I realize within this is the desire for something for me and so I commit myself to stop my self interest in needing a reason and purpose to communicate with another so that I can get something out of it

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the back chat of “how rude they did not ask if I had time for this” while communicating with another

When and as I see myself existing within the back chat of judgments of another – I stop and breathe and realize this is within blaming another and thus abdicating my self responsibility to myself and so I commit myself to remain self responsible for myself in each moment as each breath to ensure I am not projecting myself onto another and always directing the back chat back to myself

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the moment of speaking with another as a reaction to them not asking me if I had time to go over what it is they wanted to communicate to me, instead of looking at, in self honesty, whether I had time for it, and if not, simply be direct and say that, instead of reacting and separating myself from the moment and blaming them as being rude

When and as I see myself blaming another as not considering my time – I stop and I breath and direct the point back to myself in seeing where it is I am not giving myself the time, or not considering myself within time as I walk each day and so I commit myself to stopping all blame and taking all points back to myself within self honesty and self responsibility

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the back chat of ‘I don’t have time for this’ when another was communicating to me – instead of being direct and self responsible in simply saying, I don’t have time for this right now, instead of separating myself from the moment and going into back chats as a way to blame another and victimize myself

When and as I see myself talking as the voice in my head about a moment of communication with another – I stop and I breathe and bring myself back to the moment, standing equal and one and directing myself within the moment to see whether, in self honesty, I have the time to communicate or not and within this simply speaking direct if I do not and thus I commit myself to stopping back chats within the mind when communicating with another and simply see within self honesty in the moment whether I have time or not and thus within this commit myself to speak direct, and not allowing myself to be deliberately nasty and deceitful within my mind



23 July 2012

Day 56 - Possessed by Irritation

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to seek energy from conflict in my life with another

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to become possessed by energy as experience of irritation and within this extert this onto others as a way to limit them within themselves to be equal in my experience

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become irritated by others and attempt to have power and control over them through exterting my irritation onto them until they are and then feel satisfied with myself and thus reap the reward of energy in a positive surge within myself for the idea that i have gained power and control

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to become irritated by others in my reality based on thoughts of judgments about them and how they live

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be in constant judgment of others in my reality within my mind as thoughts and back chats that I believe are me and then live them physically through manifesting myself as ‘irritation’

I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to justify my experience of irration within myself through blaming others for being the cause/source/origin, instead of seeing/realizing/understanding that the experience was something I created within my acceptance of an accumulation of thoughts and back chats that are judgmental in nature

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow the possession of irritation to be within/as me without questioning myself in those moments within stopping myself through breathing and seeing what it is I was separating myself from as I realize irritation projected towards another is a projection of myself and thus instead of living out this separation as me as irritation, stop and breathing and see what it is I was irritated at myself about

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, within the possession of irritation, speak within the starting point of spite, as a way to create an equal experience within another as I experienced myself as irritation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as irritation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe irritation is real, instead of realizing it was created within myself through the mind as thoughts and back chats where I then generated energy that possess me as being irritated

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create myself as the manifested consequence of irritation as I did not allow myself to stop myself within the initial thoughts and back chats of judgments of others

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that possession of energy as an emotion or feeling is a manifested consequence, revealing that I, for some time, was allowing participation in the mind of blame and judgments to accumulate, instead of stopping in the moment when the thoughts arise and not accept and allow myself to go into it, as I realize I am then abdicating my power of self responsibility and self direction, and instead giving into energy as who I defined myself as as the experience of energy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as the energy of irritation

When and as I see myself exisiting within the possession of energy as irritation – I stop and I breathe, immediately, as I realize I am then in manifested consequences and so I stop myself from further accepting and allowing myself to be directed by the mind and instead bring myself back the self directive power as breath to remain here and not allow thoughts to accumulate

When and as I see myself participating in thoughts of irritation and blame and judgments towards another – I stop and I breathe, realizing that if I do not – there are manifested consequences, and thus I push myself to slow myself down to be with/as each breath to ensure that I see who I am within myself as the thoughts arise to be able to support myself to stop all participation with the voice in the head as thoughts, as I realize it is within separation

When and as I see myself projection blame and irritation and judgments onto others within my mind – I stop and I breathe and allow myself to bring it back to myself as I have realized all thoughts within myself are about myself, as I have created them and so I take responsibility for the thoughts in my mind and ensure that I am not abdicating my self responsibility to be a being that actually care and no longer allow myself to back chat about others

I commit myself to stopping all thoughts, back chats, emotions and feelings within me as the mind, through the process and Journey to Life, Journey to Nothingness with the tools of writing, self forgiveness and self corrective/commitment statements

I commit myself to stop myself when I see I have allowed myself to become possessed by the energy of irritation and commit myself to investigate the origins of the manifested consequences to support myself to see how I created it so that I am able to stop and forgive it and ensure I do not allow it again

I commit myself to stop my addiction to energy through participating within energy as myself where I attempt to gain more energy through creating conflict in another

I commit myself stop the power games within myself in attempt to have control over another wherein I reward myself with positive energy as an ‘energy boost’

I commit mysel to stop the inner conflict and thus stopping the outer conflicts

I commit myself to writing daily, self forgiving daily and self correction and self commitment daily to ensure that I am always, in each breath, making the decision of who I am that is in fact best for all and to stop the existences of separation within the mind as ego


17 July 2012

Day 55: " I am not my Mind " - Character

Observing my behavior and the patterns I live out day to day... I can see I’m still ashamed of myself and my mind. So – a point of separation – because within my fear of exposing myself to me as the mind, and so others as me as the mind – I am separating myself from it. Beliving I am superior to it and not realizing – IT IS ME. I realize it is not who I am really – yet it is how I have created myself as the decision of ’who I am’ through acceptance and allowance. That is the power I have as creator – I have created myself as something I am ashamed of. So – time to take responsibility for myself as creator/creation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing myself as the mind as the thoughts and feelings and emotions and experiences I allow and accept within myself, through daily writing, self forgiveness and self corrective application

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to fear myself as the mind through accepting and allowing resistance to writing and facing myself in self honesty every day through writing, self forgiveness and self corrective application

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from myself as the mind as who I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from me as the mind through being ashamed of myself as the mind and within this separating myself as being superior to me as the mind – not realizing it is who I am and thus no judgment is required, as I realize judgment of the mind – is self judgment

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as the mind

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to create myself through my power of creation to be an expression of life through the mind that I fear to expose to myself and others

I forgive myself that i Have not yet accepted and allowed myself to take self responsibility fully for myself as the mind through accepting and allowing myself to define myself as superior to the mind and still allow shame to direct me in not facing myself

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to fear myself as the mind

I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that through the decision of who I am I have created myself as a mind of self interest that abuse life and thus I am responsible for myself as life and for the life that is here for all as me equal and one and thus I forgive myself that I Have not yet accepted and allowed myself to take full responsibility for myself as creation as life

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to exist as the character of “I am not my mind” wherein I believe I am more then my mind, and my mind is inferior to me and thus showing that I am separating myself from myself as the mind – as who I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to exist without self movement in my process through allowing myself to define my mind as inferior to me and thus believe that I am more then my mind instead of realizing that within the mind this exist as a way to be more then life – to not have to face myself or take self responsibility for myself

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from myself as the mind through defining myself as ‘not the mind’ as the character within my mind and thus I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to not take responsibility for myself as the mind as the character I existed within/as ‘I am not the mind’

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to fear my mind through seeing it separate from me here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as being inferior to the mind through the accepted fear of the mind – instead of realizing it is who I am currently as the accepted “I am”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trap myself within my own creation of the mind and within this I forgive myself that I Have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that since I created my own enslavement to the mind – I can stop and release myself

I forgive myself that I have not yet accepted and allowed myself to release myself from my own self created enslavement within the mind realizing that I will only be able to do this once I make the decision to face the character and stand equal and one with me as the mind

I forgive myself that I Have not yet accepted and allowed myself to stand equal and one with me as the mind as who I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become realizing this is the only way I will be able to change and thus release myself from the mind – as I have created myself as the mind thus I must take responsibility for my creation as the creator to stop and change

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as superior to others through defining myself as ‘not my mind’ and other as ‘the mind’ and thus separate myself within seeing myself separate from my mind and others as their mind

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from what I have created to be the expression of myself as life within a limited perceptual reality that is not real – but only exist because of my participation and acceptance within and as it – and within this I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to exist in an illusion as the mind instead of breathing here as this physical reality, equal and one

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be dilerabate in not facing who I am and thus changing, because of my accepted and allowed decision to be 'more then the mind' wherein I have beleived that I am superior to my mind and see my mind as inferior to me, instead of realizing that writing, self forgiveness, self corrective statements and the commitment to walk this process daily is how I stand equal and one with me as the mind to thus be/take self directive principle of myself here in every moment to then ensure I change myself and this world into what is best for all

I commit myself to stop separating myself from myself as the mind in believing it is less then who I am, I commit myself to realize that I am the mind as who I have currently accepted and allowed myself to be and become

I commit myself to direct myself within and as each breath to ensure that I am remaining self honesty and facing myself daily with writing, self forgiveness, and self corrective application to release myself from my own enslavement within the mind

I commit myself to stopping the fear of the mind as I realize this is fear of myself, as currently I am my mind and thus stop fear of myself

I commit myself to stopping judgments of myself as the mind as I realize this is self judgment, and thus I stop judging myself and instead full responsibility for myself, for who I am, who I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become and who I will be as I walk my process to nothingness - removing all shame and guilt and fear and separation, until there is nothing

I commit myself to slowing myself down to be with/as each breath I breathe to ensure that I am directing myself and not allowing the mind to direct me to resist and postpone and avoid facing myself - I face myself in each moment

I commit myself to writing daily, self forgiveness daily, self corrective statements daily and the decision in each moment to be here with/as the breath, that is equal and one with life as this physical reality, to walk my process to birthing myself as life as I remove myself as the mind that exists within self interest, to ensure I create within myself and within this world - what is best for all, equality and oneness



15 July 2012

Day 54: Mirror of Self in the thoughts about Another

I have been possessed with fear of what is going on with another. They are spending a lot of time with another being – and they are not the most stable and so fear they are influencing this person to live the same. Then someone said to me that this person has drug problem – this I have not seen – yet allowed this to creep in and exist as fear within me

I realize I have no control over another or what they do – and maybe I am somehow abdicating my self seeing within worrying about ANOTHER and what THEY are doing – instead of myself and what I am doing

RED FLAG: Within walking the Agreement Course of the Desteni I Process - I have been supported within seeing that any time I write "maybe this is" or "perhaps I am" or "I might be", in how I have written it above, "maybe I am somehow abdicating myself..." - is always indicating, yes that is the Point - and to instead of "maybe walking around the point not going directly into it but walking around it maybe to see it...." realize that IS the point - go there, face it and direct it. SO - the point is, I am abdicating and deliberately not willing to face myself within projecting worry and fear onto another for what they are doing and how they are living - instead of taking responsibility within seeing who I am and how I am living.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to focus my energy and attention within my mind as thoughts with what another is doing and what they are accepting and allowing instead of seeing and investigating myself here – in who I am and what I am accepting and allowing

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to distract myself with fear of what another being is doing and who they are with and how they are being influenced – instead of directing it back to myself in seeing who I am and what I am doing and how I am being influenced

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my self responsibility and self intimacy through projecting worry onto another for what they are doing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I spend time thinking and worrying about another and what they are doing and how they are living – that that will create a solution for them, instead of realizing I am looking for a solution for myself, in wanting relief from the fear I experience

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to fear another's life choices and decisions lately

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to define another as not living effectively and in ways that will compromise them and their life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am responsible for another's life decisions

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to feel hopeless in seeing another and their life choices currently – and within that feel like I have no control in how they lives, as I realize I don’t and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I have no control over another's life, instead of realizing that I don’t – and thus not to exert myself and my attention onto them when I am here and I do have control over my life and who I am here and how I live and thus I commit myself to make this my focus

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to define another as weak within being influenced by another

I forgive myself that iH ave accepted and allowed myself to project myself onto another through defining them as being easily influenced by another

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to be easily influenced by others

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to define others as unable to live their lives effectively and within this not trust them to do what is best for them, as all and thus within this reveal to myself that I do not trust myself to live effectively to live what is best for all, as me, equal and one

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself to live effectively and in ways that are best for all and fear myself being influenced by others

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to project myself onto another through blaming them for not taking care of themselves and living choices that are best for them and thus within this I forgive myself that iH ave accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my self responsibility to taking care of myself within changing to live the most effective ways and within the consideration of what is best for all

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that all thoughts about others, in how I see them and how I see them live their life is always, in all ways ME and thus I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to not push myself to live effectively and within the self honest application of breathing and thus be able to trust myself in each moment to make decisions to live in ways that are best or all – as allowing mysel to be the decision of each moment of who I am as/to be life

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to judge another for how they are living – instead of asking myself in self honesty – where am I judging myself within how I am living?

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to define another as a hypocrite for what they say and how they live – instead of directing this back to myself within specifying my living application to ensure that I am always remaining here with/as breath – to be the living word in fact and to not say one thing and live something else and I realize this is me separating myself from me as the living word

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to be dishonest with myself in projecting myself onto another for who they are and how they live, instead of allowing myself to always, in every moment, gift myself with the ability to direct it back to myself – to get to know myself, to see myself in self honesty and self intimacy, within realizing this is what creates self trust

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to exist within fear and worry for another and what they are creating in their life – instead of directing the point back to myself and see within myself and my life what I fear creating within/as my life

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my thoughts about another are actually about them instead of realizing they are a mirror of myself

I commit myself to in always bring back all thoughts, feelings, emotions, perceptions, ideas, opinions back to myself to ensure that I am in fact seeing me and not blaming or projecting myself onto thers and thus I commit myself to do this within writing, self forgiveness and self corrective statements to ensure I am always being self responsible for myself as life

I commit myself to stop all fear and worry that I project onto others and see it is a fear and worry to/towards myself and thus I commit myself to stop all fear and worry to/towards myself and find living solutions that I can implement within/as me and within my living application

I commit myself to stop all projection separate and away from me here – I commit myself to continue to push myself to always bring back all the mind activity back to myself – to see myself to be able to then take self responsibility to change me

I commit myself to investigate who I am, as the Mind, and see how I am able to change myself to living solutions that are best for all as me

I commit myself to gift myself with the reflection I receive from the mirror as others – to see within me what I am not willing to see and only allow me to see in another – so I see me within/as another – realizing all is me, as equal as one, and thus use this support to face myself, to forgive myself and to correct/change myself



11 July 2012

Day 53 - Facing Manifested Consequences of a Decision Made in Fear Part 2

This is a continuation of my previous Journey to Life Blog, read for context.

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to exist within back chat about C and the dog and his current living condition – instead of applying solution that are best for him and all as well

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that this condition of blaming within the mind about a situation, instead of LIVING solutions that are best for all in the situation – is the current accepted nature of Humanity – where we blame and project ourselves onto everything and all things separate from us without taken any self responsibility and so within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perpetuate the current condition of the world wherein I exist within the Mind about a problem and not live a solution to stop the dishonesty, as I blame and project myself onto others, instead of BEING THE CHANGE I WISH TO SEE IN THIS WORLD.

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to, within the starting point of guilt and blame onto C – desire to no longer have cats, as I believe this will allow me to provide a better life for the dog, instead of realizing this desire is within the starting point of/as self interest, as I am only desiring to be able to care for him, because of the guilt I have allowed to accumulate within me as the decision I made within fear to allow him to stay with an animal abuser, because I was afraid of having him with me. And so within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the reality that is here within going into the mind and projection a reality where I do not have cats and the dog can be with me, and within this feel better about the experience I have in relation to him – instead of realizing the dishonesty and the lack of solution with this participation and thus I forgive myself that iHave accepted and allowed mysel to believe I am able to find solutions within the Mind, instead of realizing the only solution that is best for all – is one that is REAL – when lived in every moment as who I am, in physical reality.

I forgive myself that iHave accepted and allowed myself to see the dog as a victim – instead of realizing I am only victimizing myself through blaming myself for the decision I made in the past to let him stay with someone that could not take the best care of him and so within this I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to victimize myself within blaming myself for the past decision made within fear – instead of allowing myself to let go of it here in this moment, with and as self forgiveness, to then find self honest solutions that can be lived here

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to define the dogs life as “inadequate” and so associate this negative feeling every time I see him – instead of realizing I am separating myself from him through how I define him and his life through/as the mind and with/as the world “inadequate’ and so within this I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to create a negative charge to the word inadequate as the definition of the dogs life – instead of being here, equal and one with him, as him, as each breath and living solutions that are best for all, as me, as him, as all involved

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to blame the abuser of the dog – for hurting him when he was in his care – Instead of stopping the blame, and taken equal responsibility as an equal participation for where the dog was living

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to judge the abuser of the dog – instead of standing equal and one as one that has abused life through my participation in the mind and so equal and one with all the abuse that is here as I have separated myself from life as who I am here as each breath and thus I commit myself to walk equal and one with/as each breath as that which is life within/as equality and oneness within/as all that is here as this physical reality/substance

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not live solutions in this reality that can and will support myself and the dog, and C in changing this situation into one that is best for all

When and as I see myself participating and existing within guilt when seeing the dog – I stop and I breathe – as I realize this how I enslave myself to emotions and feelings through the mind and defining myself and the dog based on past memories – and thus I stop existing in the past as memories, release myself from them and Commit myself to walk the Journey to Life, to Nothingnes, to remove all memories so that I am able to exist here, present, in full awareness of myself as the breath, as Life

When and as I see myself separating myself from the moment of myself here as the breath through going into ideas and beliefs about “how things should be” – I stop and I breathe and realize that no solution will be found through thinking and so I find solutions I am able to live so that I am changing in fact in this world to no longer accepting myself to be trapped in the mind where no change exists and so I commit myself to stop thinking about problems and start living solutions, starting with writing myself to freedom, self forgiveness, and self corrective/commitment statements, as I redefine who I am as life and how I will walk in this world within the starting point of/as equality and oneness

When and as I see myself projecting myself onto C and onto the dog through the mind of thoughts, feelings and emotions – I stop and I breathe and bring myself back into/as awareness as I realize that ALL thoughts, ALL ideas, ALL opinions of the mind, ALL feelings, ALL emotions are ALWAYS in ALLWAYS about me and so I direct it back to myself to see who I am and stand within/as self responsibility to stop all projections and so I commit myself to take all points within the mind back to myself in SEEING me – as it is always showing me who I am and what I am accepting and allowing and thus commit myself to use the mind as a tool to support myself to sort myself out through stopping blame and living self responsibility within/as equality and oneness as life as the breath

When and as I see myself allowing fear of past decisions made influence me here in this moment of who I am – I stop and I breathe and bring myself back to ‘here’, back to life, back to the breath, and realize to allow this fear of past decisions is to enslave myself to living in the past and thus separating myself from living fully in this moment as each breath I breathe and thus I commit myself to stop all fears in relation to the past as I realize they are not here – I am here and thus I commit myself to stop separating myself within the mind of memories and of past decisions, I forgive and let go and live here in each moment of/as breath

When and as I see myself moving within the starting point of/as fear within making decisions within myself and my life – I stop and I breath and I realize what this will create and thus I do not accept or allow it – I allow myself to forgive myself in these moments through releasing the fear and moving myself within/as the starting point of/as equality and oneness, as I realize that from which the starting point I move is that which I will create –and so I commit myself to walking the process of moving myself within/as the starting point of/as equality and oneness, to ensure I am always creating an outflow that is best for all, as equality and oneness is what is best for all

When and as I see myself existing within fear to something outside of me within my reality – I stop and I breathe and investigate what is it that I am fearing – realizing all is me and thus see where I am separating myself from that which I fear and thus take self responsibility to stop fearing me as within the statement I can see the ridiculousness of fearing myself and so I commit myself to removing the fears I have accepted within myself within my mind within how I have accepted/allowed and thus defined this world

When and as I see myself existing within the back chat of my mind as thoughts, feelings, emotions, ideas, and opinions in relation to situations in my reality – I stop and I breathe and allow myself to realize no solution can be lived in the Mind – I have to LIVE it FOR REAL in this real physical reality through self movement, and self will within self responsibility to BE the solution that is best for all and thus I commit myself to living solutions that are best for all within this reality and no longer allowing myself to exist and perpetuate the current state of the world of no real change, as all exist within the mind

I commit myself to stopping all blame – towards me and others, as I realize there is no solution In blame

I commit myself to stopping all projections of myself, as I realize this is separating myself from my self responsibility and thus I commit myself to always seeing me – who I am and what I am accepting and allowing to thus be able to CHANGE me

I commit myself to walk the Journey to Nothingness – to bring myself back to the beginning of the construction of who I am now, so that I am able to rebirth as Life as equality and oneness, and no longer exist within self separation of ALL life here as me, realizing the only way to walk this process is through self investigation (writing), self honesty, self forgiveness, breathing, self corrective statements and the COMMITMENT to Life


2012: Thoughts were Taught

Ever heard this great and almighty statement of Philosophy, "I am able to think, therefore I exist." Or in the form I most heard it throughout my life, "I think, therefor I am."


This is the easiest LIE we have told ourselves.. have a look, when you were born into this world, as a baby emerging from the darkness... within you existed NO THOUGHT. You were just here. Yes, we might claim to THINK that babies think, but that is just OUR projection of our enslavement to the Mind of Thoughts onto our children.

Thoughts are taught.

The world, as shown above, has accepted themselves as a thinking machine, where we exist in separation of who we are as Life in fact, as the body, as the breath... as we can see we do not even now how our body functions - it functions for us, so from this perspective we have made ourselves inferior to Life; Life that is Real/Here/Physical.

And because of our acceptance of our EXISTENCE within the alternate reality of the Mind where we can be anything we desire - any character we wish to play in any moment of time, we teach our children "this is who you are". And so as a child develops, they learn the ILLS of this world to exist within the ILLusion of the Mind - they are forced, as we put them in our society that functions based on this premises: You are a thinker.

Babies and children are free - in that they have not yet enslaved themselves, as we have, to our Minds in accepting that internal voice that directs us as 'who we are', we teach them.

Proof that thought is taught: I was born in America. With that, the language I was taught was in English. Within my mind, the language I speak is English. Go to a different part of the world, say, Mexico.. and the language spoken is Spanish. When the Mexican children develop their language - they learn to think in spanish. Same with any other place in the world - China, the children think in their language, Chinese.

SO - what can we conclude from this? Thought is taught with the learning of Language. Thus - when we are born - we are not 'thinkers' - we are simply here. And unless we are so ignorant to say that a child does not exist in it's first few years before it develops a language, we can clearly see that THINKING does not define our Existence... we have only created it to, through accepting that is who we are.

A baby is born into this world = no thought = and yet it exists. So sorry Descartes.. you had it wrong my friend, thoughts do not define our existence. We have only enslaved ourselves to it.

Investigate desteni - we are uncovering the illusion we have placed over our eyes through the lies of the Mind where we THINK up great shit we entertain ourselves with in wonderment and awe. While the World here, the physical flesh of this earth is suffering - because our lack of any self awareness at all about who we are and how we are creating this world. We stop what we are doing by stopping our creation of the mind as the participation we allow within the alternate realities that is separate from this ONE reality. Get out of your Head - and LIVE for REAL, as the children do - as they are examples of LIFE that express's itself in it's Fullness.

Again, Investigate Desteni and Investigate Equal Money - let's step Up and create a World that is best for all - so that we don't have to exist in an alternate reality within our minds to feel better and not face the Reality that is real for us all.






09 July 2012

Day 52-Facing Manifested Consequences of a Decision Made in Fear part 1

I was just going through some pictures C… and at the end of the roll – there were many pictures of her dog. I fell guilty after seeing them, as I have defined his life as something that could be better. I think he doesn’t get enough attention and doesn’t get out enough and feels alone. I fear I have created an unhappy dog as I put him in the care of someone that abuses animals.. and now he is aggressive towards people. The guilt also that I could do more for him – but I don’t, as I feel busy all the time and that I have barely any time to take care of myself. I feel like C has given up on him.. and she doesn’t give him any attention. He just sits in his house. There are moments I wished that I did not have cats, as he is quick to attack them – and so I would then take him and care for him. Yet I know it’s quite a responsibility – and there is anger towards C for taking him in/on and not living up to it. Not giving him a quality life.

I realize this are all projections of myself.. and I realize there is a solution within this. Yet – Am I to move from the starting point of ‘desiring to do something good for him’ because I define his life as inadequate… what would be the consequences of this? To proceed in living a solution to this – would be to forgive myself for the feelings and emotions and thoughts I have about it – and then self move myself to do something every day to get him out – instead of back chatting in my head about how he doesn’t get out enough. I realize that If I want something done – I should do it myself. This will assist C as well – in taking on some of the responsibility, as she is also busy with raising a child.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the negative experience as guilt after looking at C's pictures and seeing all her photos of the dog

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a point of guilt within seeing photos of the dog while existing within the memory I have accepted and allowed to store within my flesh, wherein I access it in moments to create energy within myself as guilt

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to define the dog's life as something that could be better

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to define the dog as not getting enough attention

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to project myself onto the dog in believing he feels alone – instead of always directing back these thoughts to myself and ask myself in self honesty, where within my life do I feel alone?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having created an unpleasant life for the dog because of a past decision I made within fear to put him the care of an animal abuser

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to decide within fear that one known to abuse animals should care for neko – and not consider putting myself in his shoes in placing him in that environment and instead exist within my own self interest as fear of protecting myself from him – in fear he would hurt me

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to project my guilt and lack of self responsibility when making the decision to place the dog in the hands of an abuser, onto C – where I blame her for not giving him a better environment and quality of life, and so within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself for not giving the dog a better environment, instead of finding solutions to live this within my world/reality that is best for him

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the memory of allowing fear to direct me within the decision to allow the dog to go to the care of an animal abuser and still exist within this memory today in seeing him through this memory as ‘not having a good life’ – instead of releasing myself of the guilt I have placed onto myself and allow myself to forgive myself for what I Have accepted and allowed and allow myself to face the consequences I have created in allowing myself to exist within the separation of myself through making decisions within fear and self interest

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my self responsibility for the creation I created in a dog being aggressive towards others because of the environment in which he lived – where he was ignored and abused and now within his own fear believes he has to protect him from humans and thus cannot be trusted around others – and within this I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to project my responsibility to this creation through blaming C for how she allows him to exist currently – where I define his existence as not ‘the best quality’ and that he could ‘live a better life’ as a way to not face the manifested consequences of my decisions.

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to give up on the dog when he was staying with me based on my fear and definitions of pit-bulls being ‘aggressive’ and thus allow myself to exist within this fear and decide within this fear to send him to another – who was an animal abuser and did not give him the best care possible and thus now, based on this memory, project my giving up on the dog onto C through defining her as giving up on the dog – instead of taking self responsibility for my participation and creation of the dog and his behavior

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge C for leaving the dog alone all day and blame her for not caring enough for the dog – instead of seeing/realizing/understanding that this is ME I see – wherein it is not ‘her’ – it is me and thus I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for who I was in the past as allowing the dog to be left in the care of people that did not truly care for animals and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give to the dog the best quality of life I could have when I had the opportunity to and instead allow fear of him to control and direct me to send him away

Will continue with this point in Self Forgiveness and Self Correction/Commitment Statements in tomorrow’s blog


08 July 2012

2012: Deepak Chopra's advice Lacks Self-Responsibility

"A man's goodness is truly measured by what he is, not what he does."- Deepak Chopra

First off, Deepak Chopra - I would like to ask you... Does "who you are" define what you do?

Let's play around a bit with this...

A man rapes a child. Many say, "I'm surprised.. I would never think he would do that.. he seemed like a "good man" --Does this then justify the actions of rape? Is he then no longer held accountable for his actions - because some view him as a "good man"??

This statement by Deepak Chopra allows too much room for one to not take any self responsibility for their actions. It is saying, "Don't see how you live or what you do or do not do in this world - just look at "who you are" in this world as a way to define yourself. So the many ego maniacs that run this world are free to then justify hoarding all the wealth of the world from the majority, as actions they live everyday, and then claim, "I have a family, I am good to my family. I have friends, I am good to my friends... thus I am a good man, because I experience myself as a good man" While the truth of this person is plain to see in the actions lived everyday.

This I can put into context within my own experience.

I have always lived the character of "being nice" and have heard many say that I am 'easy to be around' and 'a good listener' and "easy to get along with" and within this, I defined myself as "a good person". YET - the actions I lived in my day to day living... did not show this to be true. Because the reality of myself were in the actions and even inaction I lived. For example, while I was pleasant to so many... there are a few throughout my life that saw the worst of me - or should I say the truth of me - where I would be deliberately spiteful and nasty as a way to diminish them within themselves, as a way to have power and control over them, and this would be through physical actions taken in my life. But majority of the time, I did not express this. Only on occasion - and so if I were to apply this statement above, I would so conveniently be free from taken any sort of responsibility, because majority of the time, "I'm nice", while only very few times in my life, I would be outwardly aggressive and just plain mean. How nice I have a 'free pass' to not at all have to take any responsibility for who I am or how I have lived, because I can justify my actions through saying, "My goodness is measured by what I am (nice and easy to be around), not what I do (attempt to cause conflict in another through words). How nice is that!!

This statement is hiding the truth of Humanity - where we attempt to abdicate any responsibility and justify how we currently exist, and how this world currently exists by saying, "we are good, don't judge us by our actions"

Reality check: WHO YOU ARE defines WHAT YOU DO and WHAT YOU DO will define WHO YOU ARE, In other words, it's not who you are, it's what you do, yet who you are WILL define what you do - and it is in the actions that we live everyday, or don't live every day that produce a world that shows us exactly WHO WE ARE: self-interested fear mongers who have no sense of life or equality.

Truth is - "goodness" in (hu)man Does NOT exist, as we have accepted and allowed a system that separates Life from Life and gives more value to the dollar sign then the physical substance that is here. Until Life is Honored equally within an Equal Money System - no Man can Claim goodness - as he still allows his living actions to produce a world that does not support any form of Life.

Investigate the current accepted nature of man, embodied in the statements like the one above, by the dear, RICH Deepak Chopra. Just because he said nice things that make people feel better, and they say he is a "good man" because of it - does not remove his responsibility within this world and how it currently exists. Time to step Up!

Check out Desteni
Become part of the Solution: Equal Money for ALL

Walk the Process of stopping the abuse we allow within each of our selves


07 July 2012

Day 51 - I am Not Energy

Today I was working on a Lesson within the Agreement Course I am walking within the Desteni I Process - and within this lesson, I saw how much I have allowed myself to be 'moved by energy'. Obviously - this is the process we are walking.. to stop allowing energy to move us as we can clearly see this implies something is having to move us - live for us, decide for us, instead of taking self responsibility to move ourselves, direct ourselves, to Live! So this is a general point I am going to address within this blog of Journey to Life - allowing energy to move me instead of me moving myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be moved by energy


I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to define myself 'as energy' and thus allow it to move me instead of me moving me

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to generate energy within myself through the act of thinking, wherein I generate emotions and feelings about things separate from me here and thus then allow these energies as emotions and feelings to direct and dictate me and my experience within who I am and how I live

I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that through the act of thinking, I am accumulating energy within/as myself and thus giving it the authority to accumulate within as me to move me - make decisions for me

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that the thoughts arise within my mind I have accepted and allowed as a way to abdicate my self responsibility within living - wherein I allow the thoughts to direct me and decide who I am and how I live through thinking over and over again until I create characters and personalities that I believe I must be depending on where I am or with who I am around

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am energy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the energy I experience myself as through emotions and feelings that I generate from the thoughts I participate within and allow within myself is actually stealing from the physical - physical energy that I use to generate the Mind Consciousness System within myself that i Have programmed throughout my life

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give permission to the mind to be authority of me through stealing energy from my physical body - instead of realizing the physical body is that which I really am and thus I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to give energy to the Mind as the thoughts I believe are me - instead realizing that is not really who I am - it is only who I have accepted myself to be within limitation, as I realize here that the physical is the only thing that I can actually touch, and see, and feel as it is the only real reality - the physical and thus I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to give energy to the false self of the Ego of my Mind, instead of being equal and one with the real me - the real self which is here as the physical body through breathing

I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to not make decisions within self honesty as self responsibility and to instead allow thoughts and emotions and feelings as energy move me and direct within my life and the decisions I have made

I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to define myself by the energy I experience as thoughts, feelings and emotions thus allowing these things to move me - to exist within these energies as the reason I move and make decisions within myself and my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that energy is not who I really am - but the physical is the real me

I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to not realize I am able to make decisions within who I am and how I live without energy as thoughts, feelings and emotions - wherein I do no have to become possessed by the energy to then decide to move in my life - but I am stand here stable as who I am as life as each breath I take and move myself, will myself, decide for myself who I am and what i will accept and allow in this life and what I will not accept and allow in this life and thus I realize and commit myself to no longer accepting and allowing to be defined by energy through participating in thoughts that accumulate emotions and feelings and commit myself to move myself, direct myself, become self honest as life as each breath I take

I commit myself to stop the energies within myself that i Have created and supported through stopping the participation within the mind of thoughts, memories, pictures, images, knowledge, information, judgments, ideas, future projections - and to remain here as who I am as life with/as each breath - realizing this is what it means to really live here within/as this physical reality equal and one

I commit myself to stop defining myself as energy wherein I allow energy as emotions and feelings to direct me within who I am and the decisions I make within my life and how I live and remain here as the breath, constant, the same, yesterday today and tomorrow.

I commit myself to stop the creating/accumulation of energy as emotions and feelings within and as me through stopping my participating within the act of thinking - as I realize the voice in the head we have accepted as 'who we are' is not actually who we are as it is just a programmed sense of self that has been produced and created through the environment in which we were subject to and thus I commit myself to bringing myself back to the breath in each moment to ensure I am remaining here and participating in actually living for real with/as the physical and this physical reality equal and one

I commit myself to giving back to myself the authority of who I am and how I live my life within no longer allowing the Mind to direct me as thoughts, feelings and emotions, as this is all energy that then dictates my life experience - I realize this is self dishonesty as it is not really who I am and thus I stop all participating as such, to ensure I am here every moment to be clear within who I am and what I will and will not accept and allow and to support myself to see clearly what is necessary to be done in this world, to see beyond that which I have programmed myself as my mind to see

I commit myself to take back directive principle of myself as the authority of who I am and no longer abdicating my self responsibility to my Mind as thoughts, feelings and emotions to direct me within myself and my life - to ensure that every moment I am making the decision to LIVE and not exist as such the personality of the mind as ego - as I realize this is within separation of who I really am as Life

I commit myself to stopping the changing of myself depending on the environment in which I am in or who I am around - and thus commit myself to remain here breathing, as the breath of Life, to ensure that each moment, no matter where or with who I am, I am here, constant, stable, the same, yesterday, today and tomorrow

I commit myself to stopping my dependency on energy to move me wherein if I face a resistance, I realize it is because I Have not created an energy to move me through the point and thus I push myself through the point as I walk my life in no longer allowing or requiring energy to move me - but for me to Decide, here I MOVE ME

I commit myself to stop stealing energy from this physical reality and my physical body through participating in thoughts within my mind, or emotions and feelings as energy, as I realize then I am feeding the mind with the energy I use that is given to me by the physical and thus stand equal and one with the physical and stopping the abuse I Have allowed through separating and using the physical energy to feed me alternate reality within the mind where I do no actually exist, and remain equal in grounding the energy back to the physical - in supporting the physical reality with my energy and attention to face what is here, to then sort out what is here, to thus change what is here as I can see what is currently here as this world and as myself is unacceptable

I commit myself to walk through myself as the mind through writing, self forgiveness and self corrective statements, to see how i have designed myself as the mind throughout my life to stand equal to and one with it so that I can then change it as myself - no longer separate from it in allowing it to be more then me through accepting it as superior, but to face it as who I have created myself to be and thus giving myself the authority over it to change it into what is best for all

I commit myself to walking the process of birthing self as life from the physical, as I realize the physical is the only thing which is real in this REALity - thus I commit myself to stopping the illusory reality of the Mind and stand here with/as the breath

I commit myself to, within myself, in each moment of breath, to decide who I am as life and who I am not as life - to always consider in each moment what is best for all and to push myself to change myself from an energy consuming Mind machine, into a breathing being that is in this flesh here in this physical reality with all other physical bodies as me - within and as equality and oneness - as this is what is best for all





03 July 2012

2012: DIP into Commitments and the desire to Give Up

Writing:
Recently I have been experiencing the desire/want to give up. I have taken a lot of responsibilities on within my world and within myself – and while I was supporting myself to be effective in each application of ‘getting things done’ – I found myself getting behind and feeling like ‘it’s too much’ I just want to give up. Now this was not an overwhelming experience – yet I saw the point arise within myself as my back chat of, “this is just too much, I want to give up” and within this the thoughts about leaving town for a ‘break’ and wanting to change the responsibilities I have taken on so that I do not have ‘so much’ to do. I did not necessarily allow this to direct me within actually physical changing anything – yet the experience was still there and within that allowed it to direct me within ‘slowing’ down my wiliness to do the things necessary to be done. So putting them off and really having to force myself through them with the most excruciating pain I could self create.

Self Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am unable to work through my day effectively and consistently in taking responsibility for each task and each point in my life that I Have committed to

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe there is too many responsibilities that I Have taken on and that I am unable to work with them all effectively and consistently

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow the experience of the mind of ‘it’s too much stuff’ to direct me within myself to end up within the experience of wanting to give up

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the responsibilities I have committed to are more than me and thus feel inferior to them and then desire to give up on them

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that all the responsibilities I Have taken on within myself and my world are of support for me in walking a process of self change – to support myself internally and externally to be here in living effectively to create a real change in this world that is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is too much stuff for me to do each day instead of realizing the solution is to manage myself and my time effectively and with common sense to ensure I am able to get to all points that I am responsible for in each day

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in the experience of wanting to give up through validating it with future projections of taken a vacation as a way to escape my responsibilities

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my responsibilities as too much for me to handle instead of realizing all I have to do is change myself within each point of responsibility to be able to take on and direct myself within each point to move it effectively where I am satisfied with each point, and as I accumulate each point of getting things done in my day – I am being responsible for moving myself and making the decision to walk through each point in my day

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the back chat of “It’s too much – I want to give up” within believing that I am not able to work through all my responsibilities each day as I realize the solution is to give some time each day to each responsibility and through this accumulate completion of each responsibility

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my responsibilities are greater than me and within this believe I have to stop some of my responsibility/participation instead of realizing the solution is to change me within all the responsibilities I have

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the responsibilities within my world as ‘too much stuff to do’ – instead of seeing the practicality of each point that is here to support me within and without

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as unable to effectively move myself within the decision to take responsibility for each point in my life I have committed too

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be influenced within the desire to give up through allowing depression to slow me down within each task I take on

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be influenced within the desire to give up through allowing resistance to exist within and as me as I have defined the responsibilities within my world to be ‘too much’

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize the desire to give up is within the mind as thoughts and ideas about who I am and my responsibilities in this world and thus are not real and so I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in make –believe mind thoughts that are not even real to determine and dictate my experience within myself and my world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I can actually give up on myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone the completion of responsibilities because of the idea that I can give up on them and myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fight for my limitation within believing I can give up on myself and validate the experience with thoughts and projections of giving up and ‘taking a break’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to prolong the completion of my responsibilities within allowing the desire to give up slow me down in accepting it as real and thus putting of the inevitable of having to complete that which I have committed to – realizing I cannot give up – there is no giving up – and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create unnecessary experiences of conflict and resistance within myself towards responsibilities within myself and my world – instead of removing all the ideas – breathing here to support myself to move effectively in each moment to ensure I am completing all responsibilities in a timely manner – as I realize this is possible

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to create an uncomfortable experience of resistance within me wherein I slow my participation within engaging all responsibilities I have committed to each day through defining them as ‘more than me’ and greater than me and impossible to complete

Self Corrective Statements:

When and as I see myself defining responsibilities I have committed to within myself and my world – I stop and I breathe and I bring myself back to the reality of myself that is real as the physical with breath within the realization that I am here – and I am able to direct myself within each point without judgments or ideas about what must be done and so I stop defining that which I am responsible for in each of my days and simply breathe here and move and walk through each point of responsibility I have

When and as I see myself allowing back chat of giving up on my responsibilities – I stop and I breathe within seeing this as a redflag that I am in my mind and not here actually living as I realize if I were here breathing , living with/as the physical – I would be directing myself through each point of responsibilities effectively and with common sense

When and as I see myself going into my mind of future projections of taking a vacation – within desiring to give up on my responsibilities – I stop and I breath and I bring myself back to reality that is real within’/as the physical and realize that this is being allowed by me through my defining myself as incapable of completing and taking responsibilitiles for all the commitments I have made within myself and my reality and thus I stop myself from feeding this point of desire to give up and realize I cannot – and thus I push myself to remain here, breathing, living, moving, self directing to take on all points I am responsible for

When and as I see myself accepting resistance towards my responsibilities within my world, through thoughts, back chats, feelings, emotions, memories, future projections – I stop and I breath and I bring myself back within the physical reality to support myself within moving breath by breath to take on each responsibility as each breath – one at a time.

When and as I see myself allowing the mind as thoughts, feelings and emotions, memories, pictures, images, future projections to direct me within the experience of myself – I STOP and I breath – realizing the participation within the Mind is NOT REAL, and thus I give myself back self directive will/principle to decide for me who I am and how I will live and how I will move and no longer allowing myself to be a slave to the mind’s direction


REDEFINING THE WORD: Commitments

1. Gathering information:

a. Establishing self’s allocation point – Currently I have living this commitment within the starting point of ‘things I HAVE to do’ so already within the living of this word there is a resistance, that it’s something outside of myself that I Have to ‘take on’ and I am ‘committed to’ – meaning I have no choice – I have to do something. So almost like a forced feeling.

b. Dictionary Definition –
Commitments:
noun
1.the act of committing.
2.the state of being committed.
3.the act of committing, pledging, or engaging oneself.
4.a pledge or promise; obligation: We have made a commitmentto pay our bills on time.
5.engagement; involvement: They have a sincere commitment toreligion.
.



b. Sounding the word : Commitment – commit me – coming to me – con me men – come it me – containment – come it end

2. Investigate the information of the word that has been gathered

Does the definition within the different aspects that you have gathered as information of the word, carry a polarity charge (is it made ‘good’/’positive’ or ‘bad’/’negative’)?


• Your own personal experience with this word
From the 1st part of redefining to word ‘commitments’ – I can see there is a separation of myself from the word through defining it as ‘something out there’ I HAVE to do – and also within this then an acceptance of resistance to it as it is something I do not have a choice about – I must do it. So within this – a negative experience of being forced to do something that I have no experience about. There is fear also – in not living ‘up to’ commitments that I make, like I will always fail and thus be seen as inferior or useless. Within the sounding the word part section – I can see how within how I ‘hear’ the word is within/as being contained to something – so feeling restricted within living the word commitment – where I experience myself as committing myself to something I might not necessarily want to do – or even more to the point of: the belief that I am no longer free when I make commitments as within the word I have defined it as something forced upon me wherein I have no choice about it – I have to do it.

• How you have interpreted the word as ‘good’/’positive’ or ‘bad’/’negative’
-Negative/bad – as I can see I have defined it as something ‘outside of myself’ that I either force upon myself or others have forced upon me and so an overall experience of fear and resistance to living the word as me because I have defined commitment as being within a containment, where I am contained within my commitments and I have no way out.

• What associations do you have with the word? The word responsibility is connected to the word commitment – as a commitment is, how I have currently defined it, to be that which I am responsible for. Also fear of not being able to be responsible for the commitments, and also resistance due to the definition of being contained and forced into something that I might have a choice about. There is a feeling of ‘eternity’ within the commitment, in relation to how I associate it within relationships. When you are engaging with another in a relationship/agreement and there is a commitment – a lot of fear comes up in how I have lived this world: being trapped forever and ever and there is no way out and so within this wanting to ‘break free’ in not experiencing this word commitment. (as how I have defined it)

• Do you feel better or worse when you are using or experiencing this word? On one hand – better as I will ‘feel better about myself’ when I am ‘commited to somethig’ and I keep myself responsible for that commitment – so like a way to validate myself as being worthy or ‘good’. On the other hand, and the overall experience of the word commitment – is I feel worse, and it’s like this thing that hangs over my head that I am absolutely responsible for and thus fear of not keeping the commitment and failing within my commitments and also the sense of ‘I have to do this, I have no choice, it is my commitment’ and so within this the acceptance of resistance as how I have defined the word.

Self Forgiveness on the word
I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word commitments through defining it within my mind as something outside of myself

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word commitments through defining it within my mind as something that hangs over my head

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word commitments through defining it within my mind as something I do not have a choice within

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word commitments through defining it within my mind as something that is forced upon me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word commitments through my definition of it being something I have to do and forced upon me, create an energetic experience of resistance to it, as a way to ‘break free’ from the experience I have created within the definition of the word

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word commitments through defining it within my mind as being connected to responsibility and within this fear of failing my commitments/responsibilities and so within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear failing my commitments/responsibilities and so I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to define the word commitment with fear and thus I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the word commitment as an energetic experience of fear and resistance

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to define the word commitment as a negative charge through defining it as being something forced upon me and have no choice within

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having a choice within my commitments

I forgive myself that I Have not allowed and accepted myself to realize that who I am within what I commit to is the choice I have to make

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word commitment in separation of myself here through connecting it within my mind to relationships/agreements

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowing myself to define the word commitment in separation of me here through the mind in accepting it as something that I Have to do and have no choice within and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a resistance towards living the word as me through accepting it as something outside of me that is forced upon me

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to define the word commitments within separation of me here through defining it within my mind to have a positive charge wherein I seek validation and acceptance from others for having commitments that I live up to

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the word commitments as a living statement of having no self acceptance or self worth and seek it through living the word outside of me for others to see me as being worthy and doing something good through having commitments

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the word commitments as a way to define myself in separation of myself here

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to define the word commitment in separation of me here within my mind as being trapped within forever and so within this I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to create and build a resistance and energetic experience of fear to the word commitment through accepting it as something I am trapped within forever

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that commitments, as the word, is not something outside of me – but is here as me in who/how I decide to live as the living statement of myself as the living word


I delete these definitions and stand clear within and as the word commitments– removing the polarity of negative and positive charge and allow the word to be innocent without memories or beliefs or ideas within it that do not support me or what is best for all

3. New definition

Writing the definition: Commitment – no longer something forced upon me wherein I have no choice within it – but as a living decision made to become responsible for myself and my world, in all it’s parts. Commitment is to be engaged and dedicated within living the word as being responsible for myself and my world, in all its parts. Commitment is a decision made by self and lived by self, within the consideration of what self is able to do and is practical to get done, always within the consideration of who I am in each breath as self honesty.


4. Checking the definition

a. Is there a polarity in the definition that I have assigned to the word?
Answer: no

b. Can I stand by this definition of the word eternally?
Answer: yes
c. Does the definition that I wrote represent what the word means?
Answer: yes



Day 50 - The Movie of the Mind, Staring: ME as The Characters

What I have seen throughout my life - and more recently in the past few years - is just how much I think. How there is a thought for every moment of every day. Whether it's a reaction as back chat where I comment on a person, place or thing, or a memory where I transport myself back into time into an experience where I re-play the scene to experience the character I starred as - or into future projection of how I would like to act in ways that get me the most acceptance and validation for the character I decide to suit up in that moment.

Yet what is happening in these moments of playing a character - is I am accepting myself as just that - a character I am playing - a role I am fitting into - a structure I am a pillar for for myself and others - to exist in an illusion that we are just creating. And so the key here - WE ARE CREATING. We have not even realized we have created this whole game we are playing - all the roles we accept of ourselves, "I am this.. I am that... I am me... You are you" and all the while being the commentator of all that is here in throwing our judgments and perceptions into it - attempting always to find ways where we come out as the 'winner', as 'looking good', 'saving face' - all these fronts that we are participating in - they are not even real. We have fucked ourselves in our own stupidity - where we have created an illusion we don't even know we have trapped ourselves in. When I play a character based on what comes up in my Mind - I support all others within their characters that they decide to be depending on what comes up in their mind - and so we are eternally fucking each other through playing these silly games that we don't even see what we are doing.... what we are creating... while the truth of ourselves is staring right back at us... this whole world.

I can see so many characters I have played in my lie(life) - "I am special. I am unique. I am fat. I am ugly. I am superior. I am inferior. I don't want to do this. I want to do this. This makes me happy. This makes me sad. I don't like her. He doesn't like me. This is life. That is life." - We have not even LIVED Life - as we are too busy in our minds scripting ourselves in the various characters we believe we have to present to others as 'who we are' in believing this is how we must survive. Believing we must survive.. so busy trying to survive - not allowing ourselves to live.

Since being supported within realizing how we are just characters that are not even real - how every thought is creating a new character we can display to others to be 'safe' within our character play we play with others - every thought that arise - I now see as a character I have created. And even within that perception - I am creating another character - "That thought was a character"

We have quite a process ahead of ourselves. Best to stop in each moment, (to breathe here equal to and one with the only thing that is real, the physical body, this physical reality), we find ourselves creating a new character - as it is another layer that we attempt to shield ourselves from away from ourselves, away from others, away from life.

Who are we without the self definitions of the Mind?

Dare to walk the Journey to Life - where we remove the the lie of the story we have told about who we are and what life is. We can see, as this whole world, we have got no clue.

In up coming blogs I will show how I have created the various characters I have played throughout my life, and show how we are able to stop and delete these scenes we have lived that do not support life as who we really are. We must consider that the ways we have gone about 'living life', is not working, this whole world is showing us that clearly. So - time to take a new approach, one of self responsibility as Being the CREATOR of the Illusion we have created.


01 July 2012

Day 49 - Commitment to become Directive Principle of ME

New month – New commitment. Writing what is here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow the experience I create through the mind such as back chats, feelings and emotions to direct me within my world wherein I allow them to ‘overcome’ me and within this fall within instability through not applying the consistant applications that stabilize me and my living such as breathing, writing, self forgiveness, and self corrective statements

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that when I do not direct myself within breathing, writing, self forgiveness, self corrective application – then I am allowing the thoughts and experiences of myself within my life to influence and direct me – as I havent given the direction to myself and thus I am giving the directive will away

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within the cycle of allowing thoughts to accumulate into experiences of feelings and emotions where I become overwhelmed within myself and my world and believe I am unable to direct myself, and within this – not write myself or apply forgiveness for the experiences of myself that I realize I am creating and thus accumulate more experiences of the mind and in turn exist in a pattern of giving away directive principle and not allowing myself to direct myself through seeing through the maze of the mind as experiences I believe are more then myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I can go even a day without writing in the thoughts that “I can do it later” instead of realizing there is no later and within this self talk to myself I am giving away the directive principle of myself of getting to know myself through writing, self forgiveness and self corrective application

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that even one day without writing will not have an effect on me – instead of realizing one day not directed within writing – is one day I accumulate within/as myself wherein I do not sort out the experiences of my day wherein I allowed back chats as thoughts to arise, feelings to be generated and emotions to move me and thus giving away the power of myself to the mind to direct me within my life

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that writing, self forgiveness, and self corrective application is the only way I will ever change myself practically in this world – as currently I have given away my directive will to the mind to run on automatic – to automatically react to people and situations within my world wherein I have no say on how I experience myself in relations to them – I simply sumbit to what my mind tells me ‘I think’ and thus proven to myself that the only way I will be able to take back directive priniciple in remaining stable as who I am is with writing – to lay out the mind as the self experience I have allowed myself to define myself by, self forgiveness through allowing myself to release the experiences created by the mind of back chats, feelings and emotions through and self corrective statements within re-scripting myself to change in each moment wherein I support myself to LIVE as directive principle and not allow the mind to dictate who I am or how I experience myself within all these points above realizing this is what self responisbilitiy is – as it takes writing, self forgiveness and self corrective application within being responsible for who I am here and what is here as life – as I realize I am an equal participant and thus equally responsible – for what is here and for changing what is here – as me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place people and situations externally outside of me as priority in my day to day living, instead of realizing within the application of writing, self forgiveness and self corrective statements, I am supporting myself to become self directive in each moment of each day I am here and thus able to then change myself in each moment and change what is here in each moment and thus my priority within this life requires to be self investigation (writing) self forgiveness (release) and self corrective statements (re-scripting self as the living word)

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to timeloop the point of allowing resistances to direct me in my day to day living within the application of writing, self forgiveness and self corrective statements, wherein I allow myself to ‘put it off’ and then ‘put it off again’ until I have accumulated days without any self responsibility within self movement to take care of myself within seeing who I am each day and how I am able to change each day thus find myself back at the point of having to face the point of abdicating my self responsibility within giving my directive will to the mind to direct me – instead of me directing me

I commit myself to establish the day to day habit of writing myself to freedom, self forgiveness, and self corrective statements as I realize this is the only way I am able to change myself within this world through taking responsibility for who I am – how I’ve become who I am and changing who I have become into that which is best for all -= Here with/as the physical as each breath standing equal to and one with all that is here as the physical, as this is real living

I commit myself to giving back myself directive principle of who I am here within this life through writing, self forgiveness, and self corrective statements within no longer allowing the mind to direct me through back chats, emotions and feelings, but to decide for myself who I am, what I stand for and how to live in ways that are best for all

I commit myself to walking the 7 year journey to nothingness – through the daily application of writing, self forgiveness and self corrective statements, to remove the personality of ‘who I am’ that I have created throughout my life through walking through my life within my mind as what I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within myself and within/as life – to recreate it through redefining who I am as life and what I will accept and allow and what I will not accept and allow within realizing I can only do this practically, physically for real with writing, self forgiveness and self corrective statements, as I am then taking directive principle in getting to know myself for real and giving myself solutions to live that will be best for all (as me)

I commit myself to always bringing myself back to the breath - as within/as the breath, I am standing equal and one with/as the physical that is real within/as this reality and thus not allowing the mind to run amok and direct me within my experience and my life - realizing that through breathing - I am allowing myself to decide 'who I am' in each moment as each breath and within this moment the ability to direct myself in no longer allowing the mind to influence me as I realize the Mind is programmed through the lie(life) I have lived