28 February 2012

2012: Fear of Criticism: Facing/Forgiving/Correcting

Writing:
We are to stand in the store and start talking to people when they come in or when they are there – just start talking to them about the water – get them to watch a short video and do a demonstration and then ask if they want to do the 2 week free trial of water.

J asked me to show him what I was going to say – I said no, I will just do it. I was scared to do it in front of him – and I have had this experience in my past – where I believe I am more fearful of showing people I know a specific personality – or when I am ‘on’ then some random stranger.

SO this is a value point – valuing people I know more than people I know now.

Because I believe I wont be as scared. Because the people that know me – ‘know me’ apparently –and really it’s like I am acting, putting on a show, a presentation – and that makes me nervous. For the people that I know –what if they have something critical to say? – This is the thoughts that go on in my head – it’s like an extreme resistance where I literally don’t want to move. I’m afraid they will judge me, or think I’m not doing it well – afraid that I will be exposed as not knowing anything and not good enough.

But even while in the store yesterday – there were people I could have spoken to – and J said, go ahead – but I refused. I just couldn’t. I didn’t know what to say – I was afraid. Afraid people would be bothered by me – believing that I was bothering them. Believing they don’t want to hear what I have to say – they will think I am crazy.

In general – I would say that I am able to communicate with people – but within sales – when I am trying to get someone to buy something, I feel nervous.

Specifically it has to do when someone is not approaching me about a product – I am approaching them, and I have to be the one to direct the questions – and I’m afraid I will forget the strategies and afraid that I won’t be able to improv in the moment. Afraid I will say too much or too little. Afraid they will think I am weird.

In the past – I was like this. I never actually wanted to act – I never liked being in front of a crowd – or having to ‘put on a show’ – class presentations also scared me. This last semester – I was scared about standing up in front of the class – but I pushed myself to do it anyway.

I guess really I just have to face my fear. And stop placing value on those that I know personally then those that I don’t know, that are strangers to me – and BE EQUAL with everyone and all people.

SELF FORGIVENESS:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear practicing presenting the water to people I know like j and j2 because I believe they will judge me and criticize me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define ‘practicing presenting the water to people I know like J and J2’ within fear and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define being criticized as me being bad

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being bad in the eyes of others as critizism

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect ‘being bad in the eyes of others’ with fear, and thus – I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being criticized

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect ‘being criticized’ with fear and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe people I know are more important than people I don’t know and thus fear exposing myself to those I know differently then how they know me and within this fear they will not like me – make fun of me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect ‘exposing myself to those I know differently then how they know me’ with fear and thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I have to be a different personality when presenting a product to someone

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto the idea of myself as personality that I fear losing when presenting a demo to someone I know

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect
‘losing the personality I define myself as when presenting a demo’ with fear and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to present myself as a personality to people in my reality

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing the personality I have defined myself as

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as a personality – realizing this limits me in the moment of self expression as then I am unable to express anything of myself – and believe I Have to only be the personality I created/designed of myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself within a personality of myself that is not real


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define people I don’t know as less valuable as then I am not within fear when having to speak to them because they do not know me and I can be anyone I want to be

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe people who don’t know me will less likely judge me because they don’t have a memory of me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to support others within identifying me as a memory of personality

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear presenting a product to a customer

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect ‘presenting a product to a customer’ with fear and thus – I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear starting a conversation about the water with someone at n city

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect ‘starting a conversation with someone at n city’ with fear and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am bothering people when I start talking about the water to them

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being a bother to someone when I talk about the water

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect ‘being a bother to someone when I talk about the water’ with fear and thus – I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear people thinking I am weird for talking to them about the water

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect ‘people thinking I am weird for talking to them about the water’ with fear – and thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within the fear of communicating with customers at n city about the water

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define sales people as bothersome
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge sales people for only talking to people so that they can sell a product and make money

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge those that are within sales as greedy

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being a sales person that others will judge as being bothersome because I have defined sales man as that

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect ‘being a bothersome sales person’ with fear and thus – I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear talking about the water and presenting it to others and within this defining it as like being ‘on a show’ where I have to ‘play a part’ that I fear they will not like or that I am not doing it well

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect ‘talking about the water and presenting it to others as being ‘on show’ where I have to ‘play a part’ that they will not like or that I don’t do well’ with fear – and thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear

I forgive myself that I Havent yet allowed myself to express myself unconditionally in every moment of being here as the breath – realizing this is who I really am and anything else is a limitation I am accepting and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself within a prison of personality instead of realizing my expression of myself can be self willed and expansive and unconditionally here – ever changing and ever stable.

SELF CORRECTIVE STATEMENTS:
When and as I see myself fearing to present a demo to someone I know – I stop and I breathe – realizing they are equal to me and thus I do not have to present myself in a way I believe is acceptable to them – I am able to express myself in the moment, trusting myself to express in ways that others can understand and relate as I am then in the moment of what is here – what needs to be said and what needs to be expressed – open and unconditionally

When and as I see myself fearing speaking to others I don’t know or approaching others about the water – I stop and breathe to check to see if I am judging myself as being limited in the definition of being a sales person – instead of allowing myself to be here in self expression through/as expressing what I know to be of benefit of the water – sharing with them, and educating them – not pushing or forcing anything

When and as I see myself inmoveable within fear – I stop and I breathe, bringing myself back here in clearing any points that arise that I allow to direct me – realizing I am equal and one with all and thus I am only fearing myself – so I stop and breathe – not allowing to fear myself and thus allow myself to be here in the moment of self expression and self trust
When and as I see myself protecting myself as a personality – I stop and breathe in realizing that the personality is a limited prison and so I stop and push through and allowing unconditional self expression in every moment of/as breath

I stop fear – realizing fear is self created. I created it and thus I STOP IT.




Procedure for Re-Defining a Word

CRITICISM


1. Gathering information:

a. Establishing self’s allocation point – others defining me as doing something bad – judging me for not being good enough, doing something wrong. Other’s opinions of me that they express to me, feelings of unworthiness, not doing something right.

b. Dictionary Definition –
verb (used with object)
1.
to censure or find fault with.
2.
to judge or discuss the merits and faults of: to criticize threenovels in one review.

b. Sounding the word – Criticize… critic cries… quit it size, cry to size, correct it’s size, correct the I’s


2. Investigate the information of the word that has been gathered

Does the definition within the different aspects that you have gathered as information of the word, carry a polarity charge (is it made ‘good’/’positive’ or ‘bad’/’negative’)?

This can be determined by looking at:
• Your own personal experience with this word it exists as mostly an experience of it – fear of being criticized within how others define/judge/see me. Created to be out of proportion where I don’t see it as something I can use to support/expand myself, but only as fear of others seeing me in a certain way, and thus defining that/myself as being bad, unacceptable, doing the wrong thing, unworthy
• How you have interpreted the word as ‘good’/’positive’ or ‘bad’/’negative’ Criticized as being negative = I’ve done something wrong/the wrong way, and now another will tell me how I’ve done it wrong
• What associations do you have with the word? Mostly memories of hearing the word, ‘constructive criticism’ where I do something, and someone gives me feedback, but I always take it ‘negatively’ wherein I then judge myself for doing it ‘wrong’ and feel bad about it. Criticism is also like opinions others have of you – their thoughts/perceptions of you
• Do you feel better or worse when you are using or experiencing this word? Worse

Self Forgiveness on the word
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word criticism within the polarity of positive/negative as being negative

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word criticism as others having to tell me that what I’m doing/what I’ve done is bad

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word criticism as being something done to me and thus victimizing myself within the word

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as a victim within the word criticized

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe other’s criticism of me is always based on their perceptions of me and thus fear them having a negative perception of me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear others perceptions of me to be negative

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect ‘others perceptions of me to be negative’ with fear – and thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define criticism as others judging me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself for others criticism of me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe if I receive criticism from others it’s goin to be bad

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word criticism within memories of being in school and getting constructive criticism from others and judging myself within it believing I was doing something wrong/bad

I delete these memories and definitions of the word criticism and I clear myself within the word – allowing myself to redefine myself as the living word – living the definition of all words equal to me/as me as what is best for all

3. New definition

a. Creative writing: Criticism I can see within self honesty means to correct the I’s/ to correct self through feedback from self and others that assists and support one to become self honesty as the self directive power within one’s world and reality. Criticism is the correcting of the I – the I that is here walking this physical life – facing all accepting self definitions and utilizing feedback from others to support self in the process. To take what one does/says/lives – and correct in ways that are best for all - using suggestions and others as examples of how to change self, correct self, expand self.

b. Writing the definition:

New definition: Criticize
Criticize is to take what is here and examine it within self honesty through self or others in ways that one can see where correction is required. To change self through self or others to become self honest and the directive power of self, through learning what has been done and changing it to how it can be the best – best for all – best for self.



4. Checking the definition

a. Is there a polarity in the definition that I have assigned to the word?
Answer: no

b. Can I stand by this definition of the word eternally?
Answer: yes

c. Does the definition that I wrote represent what the word means?
Answer: yes

26 February 2012

2012: Want something Done? DO it! A tale of time-looping



I recently gathered all my blogs I have published since I started the writing/blogging process. What is fascinating is certain patterns seem to constantly arise within myself - and I was time-looping a point within myself pretty consistently.

The point, fascinatingly enough, was about the writing/blogging process itself. Where I was constantly judging myself for not writing and exposing this through writing, then writing for a bit, before I fell again. I would then time-loop again with starting to write, exposing this point of not consistently writing, and then fall again.

What I realized within this and is funny now to see - how simple to solution was/is.

I wanted and expected of myself to write more within blogs. And in my day to day living. And I was not satisfied with myself when I would not be consistent with it and thus judge myself for not pushing myself, and allow myself to fall within this. I experienced resistance to it - and allowed it - and then allowed myself to judge myself for it. Seems silly when all one has to do is push through the resistance and get done what one wants to get done.

In my case - it was blogging/writing. It took almost a year to time-loop through this point until I finally realized - Just fricken do it already. Seriously, it's like a wtf moment - where you realize how simple it is to just stop the bullshit within self and get it done. It's only in the mind we complicate it and make it 'more' then what it needs to be - simply direct yourself to do that which you say you will do - that which you want to do - that which you know is best for all.

I see that this starting point for writing and time-looping the point, was not self honesty. It was within self interest - where I was interested in getting attention and feedback within myself and my process from others, telling me that I am doing the 'right thing' and that I am doing well - because I was not giving this to myself. I was not giving to myself the attention I desired - and was expecting others to give this to me. This only leads to self abuse as we are then implying that we are incapable of being for ourselves what we want others to be for us. This is only showing us that we are not living for ourselves - we are only living for others. So - I had to really stop myself within the seeking of attention and feedback, as this is not self honest. Self Honesty is to see that this is a point(blogging/writing) of support for myself to face myself, to expose myself, to let go of my fear of how others see me and to face myself head on in self honest. To get out of the MInd as ego, wanting to present a presentation that is pretty and acceptable - but to get real with myself in realizing this process is a long road ahead and might not be the easiest thing in the world, as I am going against the very nature of myself. Yet - realizing the solution is always simple and is here if we dare to see.

SO - the point is; Give to yourself that which you desire from others. Do yourself that which you want to be apart of/stand as/participate within. Realizing only you can do that. Stop the mind of excuses and justifications that we keep ourselves busy in circling one point within ourselves. In my case, I was wanting to be more consistent with writing - and until now didn't realize it could be as simple of JUST DOING IT.

lol - even now there is like this point of, 'this is to easy, to simple' but I suppose this process of self change doesn't have to be 'going against the current' when we simple allow ourselves to do what we know is best for all - what we want to express, how we want to share, being self honest - all of this can be easy - as we see the solution are so easy. If it seems 'too hard', I know I am limiting myself within excuses. Just do it - really, it's that simple.

23 February 2012

2012: Life and Death - Communication with the "Other Side"

I just finished listening to "Portal Expanded Interdimensionally".

In this Interview - a child that dies from Leukemia speaks about he's experience here while on earth - and as he died and "crossed over" into the dimensions. He speaks about the questions he had while here in this world, like, why is he sick? Why do other children get to live a normal life? What's fascinating is that even as a small child - everyone around him was telling him that, "God has a greater purpose for you and heaven is waiting for you and you are special" And he could not accept this, imagine that... A child seeing through the deception of acceptance adults attempt to impose onto children about what this world is and why things are the way they are.

He speaks about his death and what he found in "heaven" - how he didn't accept what was being shown to him - and returned to his body to see what was really going on. He found many other children with the same realization - that there was "something wrong".

He was in the dimension when the Portal opened - and talks about his experience of having a relief - as finally there was a point within existence that could cut through the deception of LIfe in this World and the Deception in Heaven. It was a fascinating listen and recommend anyone who is interested in Life, Life after Death, or Heaven to do listen for yourself.

I can just imagine some saying, "yea right, the dimensions are not real, there are not beings that can speak through a portal" - This is real. More real then your belief in God - in heaven. If you believe in God, angels, guides, life after death, hell, demons, life purposes/plans - then you would be foolish not to hear this for yourself.

This is 1 of 3 interviews explaining the Opening of the Interdimensional Portal and what effects it had within our Existence. Check it out:


The other 2 interviews:

2012: A Blogger's walk of Self Transformation - My Time Line

My Blogger's Time-Line of Transformation




FEBRUARY 2012
Fear of Sharing Equal Money - Facing/Forgiving/Correcting

We All Walk the Same Process = Equal as One

The Eternal Expression of Love Exposed

Valentines Day = My Love is Conditional

"Everyone Change in their Own Time"

Accumulation Created Thoughts and Standing Up

2012 Proves Human Devolution

21 Days and Beyond

Self Support - Practical, Actual Living

Hey ASScenders.. where you going?

Trapping Myself = Facing Myself

JANUARY 2012
Mirror Mirror

How/Why I am Able to Hear the Desteni Message

"Be a Leader, not a Follower"

What is Love?

"Everything Happens for a Reason" - Statements of Deception?

The Only choice IS Life

Facing/Forgiving/Correcting Projections

The Secret Thoughts of a Dancer - Facing/Forgiving/Correcting

Real Tools for a Blissful Life - EQUAL for All

Life can Be Fun if we Dare to Live

DIP into Self

Face OUR Reality

Directing Myself through Inconsistency

Walking through the Consequences of the Past

DECEMBER 2011
"You are the Reason I feel this Way" -WTF?

Education/School - Just do It

NOVEMBER 2011
The Child without Food needs the Word of God?

Religion and Spirituality - One and the Same?

OCTOBER 2011
"If it's Meant to Be..." a Pre-Programmed Existence

Stop Giving Yourself the Excuse, "Nobody is Perfect"

SEPTEMBER 2011
My Trip to the Desteni Farm

Are you Waiting for the Showering of the Universe?

Responding to, "The Mind is not the Enemy"

Breathing and Meditation - Is there a Difference?

AUGUST 2011
We don't need God when there id Equality

There are many Breaths in just 1 Day

JULY 2011
Can You Lead?

We Write

Breathe, Live, Forgive, Let Go

JUNE 2011
Time FORgiveness

Desteni USA Meets in TX

Set Yourself Free - Write yourself Out


MAY 2011
Process Update - Standing Up for Self Honesty

Heaven is a Fairy tale for those Afraid of the Dark

The 13th Floor

Honesty vs Self Honesty

Positive Seekers are the Real Deceivers

APRIL 2011
Day 21 - Getting to know my Self Worth

Day 20 - Writing is

Day 19th - Forgive and Let Go

Day 18 - After All - It's about Self

Day 17 - There's a Will - there's a Way

Day 16 - Redefining Money

Day 15 - Bring it back to Self - and Move from Here

Day 14 - It's the Matter that Matters

Day 13 - The Ego wins this Time - yet I still Breathe

Day 12 - The Writing Process

Day 11 - Change is Possible

Day 10 - Self Direction = Self Satisfying

Day 9 - Lead by Example

Day 8 - Thinking = Self Interest

Day 7 - Snap out of It

Day 6 - Get out of your Head

Day 5 - We Fear in Others what we Do Ourselves

Day 4 - Self Decides

Day 3 - Communication is Key

Day 2 - BREATHE & WRITE

Again - Day 1 of 30+ Days of Writing

Day 9 - The Body will Wake you Up

MARCH 2011
Day 8 - Do you Hear yourself?

Day 7 - What exists in this Moment?

Day 6 - Vulnerability is the ability to be Open

Day 5 - Anger for Resistances

Day 4 - What do I allow?

Day 3

Day 2

Day 1 - And Again

It's Up to Us

Because ALL are Here Equally

Day 7 - Simply Stop

Day 6 = Free Write = Freedom of Writing

Day 5 - Do you Fear this World?

Day 4 - Writing is for Me

Day 3 - Self Honesty

Day 2

Establishing Self Here

Stopping

Day 7 - Sleepy Writings about Sleep

Day 6 - The Internet - Why are you Here

Day 6 - Reacting to Myself

Day 4 - Responsibility as Forgiveness

Day 2 - Writing - not Giving in

Day 1 - Breathing is

FEBRUARY 2011
Starting Over for Me - 21 Days of Writing

Writing to Write without a Reason

Specialness = Separation

Self Forgiveness

Getting back to Reality

This is My Desteni

Researching Desteni is Taking the Red Pill

Am I 1+1=2 or just 1+1+1?

Just Start Here

JANUARY 2011
Writing Myself to Freedom

Money = Energy = God

Exposing my Self Abuse as Smoking

It's Always Only Me

I need no other Acceptance than Self Acceptance
Express to Simply Express - To See what is Here Unconditionally
We are the "Crazies"

Taking Responsibility for Myself and Allowing others to do the Same

I am a Taurus? Oh no... wait, I am now an Aries!
Walking my Process of Self Realization - Self Perfection - Self Purification

DEC 2010
Holiday = HELLofDAYS

What "Ifs" of Future Projections and Stopping It
Writing Process and Seeing a Pattern
Self Commitment to Writing update

NOVEMBER 2010
Starting Over

MARCH 2010
After the Interview

Writing in the Morning

FEBRUARY 2010
What I now Realize

Self Standing Through Writing

More Shit

Facing the Shit that I exists as within

2012: Fear of Sharing Equal Money: Facing/Forgiving/Correcting

Writing:

A couple weeks ago I was at work. I was talking with a co-worker about ‘the system’. I don’t recall the specifics about what he was saying or what I was saying – I only recall my experience in relation to offering a solution.

In general we were talking about how the System – the economic System – is basically a brutal system that does not consider what is best for all. It was messed up and rough to exist in such a system. There was a sense of ‘this is how it is – oh well’ within it – and I saw myself want to offer a solution – such as an Equal money System.

I imagined myself saying, “That is Why I stand for an Equal Money System – as it takes on the core point of why this world is the way it is” – but I didn’t. I resisted. I went into fear – or, I allowed fear to exist within and as me – and so I stayed silent.

I immediately went into regret – as I saw that this was an opportunity to offer a solution to another that they might not have considered themselves. That perhaps they could see the common sense within what the Equal Money System actually is/could be.

But, like I said, I was afraid. Afraid of what he would say or how he would react. I can see that I have defined others hearing about the Equal Money System – within reaction. Meaning – who ever I talk to about an equal money system – they will laugh at me, and tell me it’s impossible and that I will face resistance from others when sharing the equal money perspective.

It’s like I have accepted that people will reject it – and so within this I can see that I fear them rejecting me.

There was also a point of self – doubt – wherein I did not trust myself to express what the Equal Money system is – that I was not clear on all the points and thus feared them asking a question that maybe I could not answer which in turn would leave them to think the Equal Money System is invalid, as I could not explain it in a way that made sense to them.

This also brought up the fear of my internet presence. Fear of my immediate reality, those that I am not connected with online – would find out my activities online – and judge me for it.

BECAUSE = I have accepted and defined my participation within the Desteni Process and my Standing for and Equal Money System to be that which others will resist and thus not accept.. and so within this – fear of how they see/perceive me – fear of them not liking me – fear of them judging me as weird or that they will see me differently then how I am in my reality. Self Honesty/Common Sense here – because if I am the same here, yesterday, today, tomorrow, whether I am online or in my immediate reality with others – then there is no fear. As I am here – I am the same – I am constant – I express who and what I am, what I participate with, what I stand for. Living Principles’ – not fearing the exposing of my personality or the un-acceptableness within Humanity and our reflected Systems.

So to recap:
Fear of talking about an equal money system with others
Fear of how others will react/respond to my Standing for an Equal Money System
Defining others hearing about an Equal Money System to be that of resistance and judgment
Fear of others judging me/laughing at me/not like me/think I am weird for Standing for an Equal Money System
Accepting/defining that others will resist and react to me for standing within the Desteni Process and Support of an Equal money system
Fear of not being able to explain how the equal money system will work and how/why it is best for all
Fear of having to ‘go up against’ others who may challenge me within my standing of an equal money system(conflict)
Fear of others rejecting me/ being rejected by others/the system because I support an Equal Money System

SELF FORGIVENESS:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear speaking about an Equal Money System with others

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect ‘speaking about an Equal Money System with others’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist speaking about an Equal Money System with others because of my accepted and allowed fear of speaking to others about an Equal Money System

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear others judging me for talking about an Equal Money System

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect ‘others judging me for talking about an Equal money System’ – and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe others will judge me for talking about an equal money system

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself for supporting an equal money system

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define ‘supporting an equal money system’ as being that which others will judge/judge me for

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe my fear is real

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not being able to speak about an equal money system in a clear way that others can/will understand

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect ‘being able to speak about an equal money system in a clear way that others can/will understand’ with fear – and thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself within the information and knowledge of an Equal money system – instead of allowing myself to realize that an Equal Money System is a lived realization that is practically walked within this world – and thus I am simply expressing myself as a system of equality

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear expressing myself within the realization of the common sense of an equal money system

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect ‘expressing myself within the realization of the common sense of an equal money system’ with fear – and thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit others within defining them to be resistant to an equal money system as a solution to this world

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept and define response from others within talking about an equal money system to be that of fear and reactions

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to assume others will respond with resistance and fear to an equal money system

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear others judging who I am within how they react to an equal money system

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect ‘others judging who I am within how they react to an equal money system’ with fear – and thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear how others will see/perceive me within my support of an equal money system

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect ‘how others will see/perceive me within my support of an equal money system’ with fear – and thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear others not liking me because of my support of an equal money system

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect ‘others not liking me because of my support of an equal money system’ with fear – and thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear others laughing at me because of my support for an equal money system

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect ‘others laughing at me because of my support for an equal money system ‘ to fear – and thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear others thinking I am weird because I support an equal money system

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect ‘others thinking I am weird because I support an equal money system’ with fear – and thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from value through and as placing my self value onto others and how they see/perceive me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe others will judge an Equal Money System

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe others will react to an Equal Money System

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe others will resist an Equal Money System

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define others reactions/perceptions to an Equal Money System to be that of conflict in which I fear to face

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear facing conflict within communicating about an Equal money System

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect ‘conflict within communication about an Equal Money System’ with fear – and thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I will conflict with others when talking about an Equal Money System

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear how others will see/perceive me for standing within the Group of Desteni

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect ‘how others will see/perceive me for standing within the Group of Desteni’ with fear – and thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place value on how others see me more then how I see me here realizing that when I am here – I am equal and one as self value

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear expressing myself within the perspective of an Equal Money System as being what is Best for All

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect ‘expressing myself within the perspective of an Equal Money System as being what is Best for All’ with fear – and thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear knowledge and information of the mind within talking about an equal money system and not being able to express the points for others to understand

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect ‘knowledge and information of the mind within talking about an equal money system and not being able to express the points for others to understand’ with fear – and thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear

I forgive myself that I Havent yet allowed myself to express myself within the realization that Equal Money is Common Sense as what is Best for All and thus trust myself to speak in the moment of being here and the breath in ways that others can relate as it’s common sense

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself within the knowledge and information of the mind about what an Equal Money System is and how it will change the world to be what is best for all instead of allowing myself to express that which I have realized within and as myself about an Equal Money System

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself within the knowledge and information of the mind about an equal money system and desteni and thus fear others rejecting me within this world/this system because I support that which is best for all

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect ‘others rejecting me within this world/this system because I support that which is Best for all’ with fear – and thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself within knowledge and information of the mind instead of allowing myself to be here as the breath of life – free and open as the expression of life, realizing I am not defined according to/by anything

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear others not accepting me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect ‘others not accepting me’ within fear – and thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself and my existence within others accepting me – instead of standing stable, constant here as me and the breath as who I am as Life


SELF CORRECTIVE STATEMENTS:

When and as I see myself existing within fear of sharing the perspective of an Equal money System = I stop and I breathe, bringing myself back here where fear does not exist – and allow myself to express myself as the realization of the Common Sense of an Equal Money System being that which is best for all

When and as I see myself participate within fear of talking about an Equal money system with others – I stop and I breathe – bringing myself back here as the breath of life realizing that fear is not real and thus I am allowing dishonesty within myself, so I stop and breath – being real here, and share myself within the moment of self expression

When and as I see myself resist speaking/communication with others about an Equal Money System – I stop and I breathe – pushing myself through the fear is being self honesty, as I realize the fear is not real and thus I push through to speak and share a solution that is best for all

When and as I see myself allowing myself to assume others will react to me when speaking about an Equal Money System – I stop and I breathe – and bring it back to myself within realizing I am accepting and allowing reactions within myself – so I stop and breathe and share and communicate myself without assumptions of where others are within their process of understanding/realizing the common sense of an Equal money System

When and as I see myself within fear of others judging me for speaking about an Equal Money System or walking with the Group of Desteni – I stop and I breathe, realizing only I am able to judge myself and thus I stop judging myself and allowing myself to express myself within who I am as I walk the process of self perfection – I stop self abuse as self judgment

When and as I see myself projecting myself onto others through ideas of how they perceive me or what is going on within themselves – I stop and I breathe – bringing it back to myself within realizing it’s about me, so I stop blaming others and start taking responsibility for myself

When and as I see myself getting caught up within the information and knowledge of the Mind about what an Equal Money System is – I stop and I breathe – realizing an Equal Money System is a living realization/statement within all to be that which is best for all – and so I express this as myself as I have realized the Common Sense of an Equal Money System to be what is Best for all

When and as I see myself accepting others perceptions/opinions/ideas/thoughts to be of more value then myself here within fearing this of them – I stop and I breathe realizing here as the breath I am Self Value and Self Worth and Equal and One with all as Me

When and as I see myself needing acceptance from others to feel accepted and validated – I stop and breathe realizing this is of the mind of ego needing to feel safe within this world/this system – and thus I stop within realizing here as Breath I am Life and need nothing of no one, as I give to myself in every moment of breath

When and as I see myself not trusting myself in the moment as self expression when speaking/communicating about an Equal Money System because of fear– I stop and I breathe realizing fear is dishonest and self abuse as I then do not allow myself to share unconditionally in the moment as self trust within self expression because of allowing fear which isn’t real – so I breath, being real

When and as I see myself allowing fear of expression in the moment about an Equal Money System – I stop and I breathe, bringing myself back here and back to the understanding/realization of an Equal Money System that I have had within myself and thus allow myself to share myself and my experience in what I have come to realize about an Equal Money System being that which is bEst for all – and thus trust myself in the moment to share myself within/as self realization of an Equal Money System – realizing I will then speak within common sense that others can see within themselves

When and as I am speaking/sharing/communicating with others about what an Equal Money System is and how it is Best for all and what I have come to realize about it within myself – I stop and I breathe and make sure I am speaking from a starting point of being clear within myself as the breath as silence as self trust as self expression – allowing myself to express unconditionally in the moment without fear or expectations. Simply being Here.

When and as I see myself fluxuating within polarities of highs and lows I stop and I breathe – realizing this is of the mInd, and so I breathe bringing myself back here in pushing myself to live as the constant expression of myself as life in every moment, the same, yesterday, today, tomorrow: Here.

Re-Defining Word

REGRET

1. Gathering information:

a. Establishing self’s allocation point – regretful for not speaking up wherein I can place a solution for someone, regret in letting fear control me and keep me from sharing my perspective, common sense perspectives. Regret is decisions made in the past, not expressing myself the way that I want to. Regret missing opportunities presented to me to express myself unconditionally without fear

b. Dictionary Definition –
verb (used with object)
1.
to feel sorrow or remorse for (an act, fault, disappointment,etc.): He no sooner spoke than he regretted it.
2.
to think of with a sense of loss: to regret one's vanished youth.
noun
3.
a sense of loss, disappointment, dissatisfaction, etc.
4.
a feeling of sorrow or remorse for a fault, act, loss,disappointment, etc.
5.
regrets, a polite, usually formal refusal of an invitation: Isent her my regrets.
6.
a note expressing regret at one's inability to accept aninvitation: I have had four acceptances and one regret.

2. Investigate the information of the word that has been gathered

Does the definition within the different aspects that you have gathered as information of the word, carry a polarity charge (is it made ‘good’/’positive’ or ‘bad’/’negative’)?

This can be determined by looking at:
Your own personal experience with this word Regret has a sense of ‘negativity’ attached to it. Fear of not having another opportunity arise like the one I regretfully did not express myself. Regret of actions taken in the past – not doing what I wanted to do or seeing it now how I could have doing things differently – so regret in the sense that I missed out on something because I did something a certain way or not at all.
How you have interpreted the word as ‘good’/’positive’ or ‘bad’/’negative’ With a negative charge – being something that is bad, meaning – it is not something I want to experience, and when I have/do I feel bad about it – like I missed out on something – so fear of loss/losing/lost something
What associations do you have with the word? I experience a lot of regret within old relationships – where I see how I’ve acted or behaved and wish I would have done things differently. I associate feelings of judgments – as I might judge who I am now or how my life is because of past decisions that I regret. Like a desire to do things over/differently. Fear of always being remembered by past decisions/actions that I now regret.
Do you feel better or worse when you are using or experiencing this word? wors


3. New definition

a. Creative writing: Regret can be a point of self honesty. Wherein I can look back at who I was within my past – the decisions I made, the choices I made, the things I went through and allowed within myself and my reality – and see how if there is regret, I now I was not being self honest with myself in that moment and either surpressed myself with fear of doing something/acting on something or acted in ways that do not support me or the principles of equality and oneness. Regret can be cool support as a flag point to see where I did not stand up within myself and can be supportive to learn from, where I now next time I find myself in a situation that I might regret later – I can push myself within being self honesty and speaking up/standing up within myself to do what is best for all/me.

b. Writing the definition:

New definition:Regret: A point of support for me to utilize in seeing/understanding where I was not self honest with myself in the actions/words I participated within and allowed. A point within myself I am able to utilize as a way to investigate what it was I wasn’t allowing within myself – or was allowing that in turn caused the effect of regret. A moment where I was not being self honest and allowed suppression as fear to direct me instead of me directing me in the moment as breath.



4. Checking the definition

a. Is there a polarity in the definition that I have assigned to the word?
Answer: no

b. Can I stand by this definition of the word eternally?
Answer: yes

c. Does the definition that I wrote represent what the word means?
Answer: yes

20 February 2012

2012: We All walk the Same Process = Equal as One

Every single being here within Existence is walking the exact process that we as Destonians are Directing ourselves through.

Every single ONE of us are walking a process of Facing ourselves.


Every single ONE of us are being shown in various ways the nature of ourselves - the depths of our darkness - the true self we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become.

I had a very cool conversation with my mom tonight and it validated many points that I have come to realize within myself since I began walking my Process with Desteni.

A few things that came up:

The importance of sharing. With self and/or with another. My mom has been walking through many points within herself and found herself to be a bit emotional, overwhelmed and in discontent. She has found her mind racing and keeping her distracted from doing what she must do in her day to day tasks. When I started talking to my mom tonight - she was bothered, and as I sat with her - I kept pushing her to speak. She became emotional and would say, 'nothing is bothering me, it's fine' - when obviously it wasn't. I suggested to her to just speak - get it out, share what she is experiencing, if to nothing else but see from another's perspective. She finally spoke and many points were opened up. Many points about the Mind and existing within past memories and feelings and emotions that have been existing for a long time that she thought were gone - where she has locked them down inside of her and threw away the key.

As we spoke - I shared with her some things I have experienced within myself in relation to what she is currently facing. In no way did I tell her what to do - I simply shared with her ways she was able to support yourself. What we found is that by the end of the conversation - she felt lighter, and she said she felt a whole lot better. Why? Because when we exist in the Mind - we are isolated. We are left alone within ourselves mulling around all the thoughts and feelings and emotions where we tend to victimize ourselves and feel like we are literally the only beings in existence that experience ourselves the way that we do. The MInd is an island - where we disconnect ourselves from the 'real world' and the 'real people' in our lifes - who can be a real gift if we allow support. Obviously support starts with self - and that is the willingness to open up to self. To share self - to be willing to be vulnerable and ask for help. To realize that while we are not dependent on others to be here, we can utilize what is here and share with each other and open ourselves up in the willingness to face ourselves. There are 7 billion people in this world - it is only in the Mind we can possible believe we are alone.

Another point of opening up and sharing ourselves as facing ourselves, I suggested to her, is through writing. It is living application of Self Intimacy. Where we begin to see into ourselves parts of ourselves we fear to see - or believe we cannot see or possibly share with others. Writing supports us to get out of our heads and to get real with ourselves and start seeing who we really are within the reality of ourselves. I also suggested this to her as she was experiencing thoughts keeping her busy and she was experiencing troubles focusing on what she needed to do in the day. So writing is a cool way to get it all out - everything that is keeping us spinning and circling through the past, present and future, where we replay and re evaluate what has happened in our lives and in situation where we get stuck within - creating more and more thoughts that we then generate energy and emotions and feelings until we have completely fucked ourselves within enslaving ourselves to these feelings and emotions that seem to come out of no where as we react to the thoughts we have that continue to tell us what we are and how we are experience ourselves and what we must do - and we become overwhelmed. So - to support ourselves through this - it is to STOP.... breathe.... bring yourself here within realizing you are not your mind. You are not your thoughts - you are not your emotions and feelings as you have the ability to Stand Up - Be Here and Direct yourself within Choosing what you accept and allow within and as yourself.

To Realize who we are - is as simple as breathing. Because - We are Life as the Breath. The Breath is that which Gives Life - sustains Life - is LIFE that allows us to be here - so simply, that is who we actually are. Not this thoughts of self definition and prisonalities and we believe as ourselves. No, we are equal human beings, equally brought into this world the same way, require the same things to exist, and will leave here the same way, through death. What gives us Life - is the Breath - so BE the BREATH - as that is who we are as LIFE. Slow yourself down, become aware of Who you really are, Give yourself Life, live as Life as the Breath. This is how we walk ourselves within Self Honesty - when we are breathing - we are being Self Honesty. When we are in the Mind - we are not Living, and we are not just thinking - we are deceiving.... deceiving ourselves within believing we are our Mind, when we are not. In the Mind - we don't breathe, and we disregard the Physical Body - the physical Life - this physical World. So bring yourself back Here - back to Reality - Back to Life.

So it was cool to walk with her through these points - as I have shared with her before the support of breathing and writing and living self honesty - and until now she was unwilling to hear - unwilling to see. Yet - Life is here as ourselves revealing to each one of us the nature we have accepted - and standing up to be in our face and say, "See Here! Look at Who you are - Look at what you have Allowed - Stand Up and Direct Yourself as Life - as You are the Power - you are the Key... Set yourself Free."

Yes - so it was a cool sharing we had and I am grateful for Desteni and the tools I have been supported within to Support myself and Others.

We are EQUAL. We are ONE - we are all walking the same Process of Facing Ourselves - Facing Life - Standing Up - Taking SELF Responsibility and challenging ourselves to Be that which we have not yet allowed ourselves to Become - the Directive Principle of Ourselves as LIfe - LIving Self Honesty and Self Forgiveness - as this is what is Best for All.


19 February 2012

2012: The Eternal Expression of Love Exposed

"Love Never Dies... we are all an eternal expression of love"


Really?

This is spewed to the masses - and has been since even before the 70's. 'Love is the Answer'. 'All you need is Love' 'Love will change the world'

How can this be true - if the "Love Movement" proved that Love doesn't create actual change in this world.

Looking even closer at this statement, "Love Never Dies... we are all an eternal expression of love" - Can we say that this is true in Self Honesty? If 'as above so below', wouldn't this indicate that Heaven is a reflection of Earth - and Earth is a reflection of Heaven? Thus - Heaven is equally fucked as Earth - existing in separation.

We beLIEve that when we die - we leave behind this world and come into the full awareness of "who we really are" as apparent "expressions of Love"

Why would earth be separate in the 'expression of Love' and it is only lived after you die? WTF?

Let me ask you - if we are "expressions of Love" - why are a Billion people starving to death?

If we are "expressions of Love" - why does War exist?

If we are "expressions of Love" - why does jealousy, judgments, envy exist?

How can we be "eternal expressions of Love" when this world manifests such hate and inequality?

How can we justify the state of the world by saying, "Love Never Dies... we are all an eternal expression of love" - we are basically saying, "DOn't worry or fear death or this world, when you die, you will remember you are love and all will be fine and you will be protected and you don't have to face this world anymore, don't worry, you are ok, love is eternal... even if love is not here and does not exist in this world, when you die, you will see you are love"

This is such delusion and bullshit we accept in order to feel better about not taking responsibility for this world.

Love does not exists - this World PROVES that - and even if we believe it exists in isolated cases - where some will say, "I share love with people I meet, I am a good person" - Your love does nothing for this world - it only keeps you from actually implementing any real change that is BEST FOR ALL.

What would be BEST FOR ALL - is to realize Love does not feed the hungry or shelter the homeless - what we need to do is GET REAL - in providing the basic necessities that are required to Live here, starting with Money. As only those with Money can say, "Love is expression of ourselves" - Place yourself in the shoes of another - one that is spit out from the system of money and ask yourself, is this an expression of "eternal love"

NO!

Open Your Eyes to the RealEyesation that LOVE has only ever been an idea - it has never been lived as a real expression of LIfe here, and until ALL are equal within their living standards - it will not.

Stop the delusions - stop the feelings that make only you feel better, and investigate real change in this world that support what is best for all - which includes what is best for you. Stop the ideas that cause inaction - and LIVE FOR REAL.

WITH EQUAL MONEY


14 February 2012

2012: Valentines Day = My Love is Conditional

Today is Valentine's Day. A Day we SELLebrate "our love" for another. Apparently - we need a day to do this. Kind of like Christmas and Thanksgiving where we need a day to remind ourselves to give to each other.

What's fascinating is that this holiday can only be sold those that "have love"... or those that have money.

This "holiday" is useless to the mass of people that are without jobs and food and homes - it's actually a slap in the face to them.


Those of us in the comfortable side of the current system - those of us with money - can go around and pretend love is real through taking one day out of the year sharing our conditional love with each other. Yes - we have to buy flowers and chocolates and take each other out dinner to show that we care. That we are in love.

What the fuck? This day exposes just how self abusive this world is - where those of us with money - only care about ourselves and "our love". But this Love is not lived - as it is not the expression of all - it is only "felt" between 2 people - and in that we can question whether it's real.

Is real Love buying someone flowers?

Is real love taking someone out to dinner?

Is real love having to take one day out of the year, because it's accepted by everyone else, to express to another the way you feel about them? If it was unconditional - if it was real - if it was lived by us as an expression of ourselves - would we celebrate Valentines Days? Hell no we wouldn't - we would see it for what it is.

Another day we enslave ourselves to a profit driven society that tells you on what day you are to show your love to another - and even tells you what you have to buy in order to convey your message of love. This is bullshit elites holiday.

Relationships as they currently exists - is no surprise we have a day to celebrate "love"

Because every other day of the year we are in fear of each other and the relationship. Fear of how we are suppose to be so that that person will love us. Fear of losing that person. Fear of that person cheating - fear of that person leaving. Fear of that person giving their "love" to someone else. Fear of not being enough for that person - fear of not pleasing that person. We exist in fear in relationships because current relationships are based on persoanlities of the Mind/ego. We feed each others insecurities and self abuse through being with another out of fear. Fear of being alone. Fear of facing who we really are. Relationships are for those that are hiding from themselves, unwilling to walk in an agreement with another to be the change in this world - to be different - to live within principles that are best for all. And so within our fake presentations of ourselves we place to please others - we exist in fear of another finding out the truth and no longer loving us. So - we created a day where we can validate our need to be loved by saying we have to celebrate on this day, for all to see, and for you to prove, that you Love me.

In a World that is Best for All - individuals would walk in an agreement. Where we do not need or require another to do or say or prove anything to us to show that they love us - as we will love ourselves. We will not choose just one day to exploit the idea of Love - we will being living in a World of Love where all are provided for - all are loved equally and there are no such things as special relationships that we can exist in seclusion from each other. We will be real - walking with all equally - having an agreement with all of ourselves that is best for all. Relationships are useless if they are not supporting you to change who you have accepted yourself to be and that exists special only for you and another. This is separation - as we then see ourselves as better then others or at least we feel safe, as we have found love, and we don't have to be alone. Because god forbid, when we are alone - we face the truth of ourselves.


For those that can see and hear the common sense within this - that see what relationships have become that only feed our egos, the desire to be loved, because we are unwilling to love ourselves, investigate the Agreement Course within the Desteni I Process. Here we establish a SELF Agreement - where we become effective in living for ourselves, without the need or dependency of another. Where we become the expression of Self Love that can then walk with another in Self Honesty without insecurities and fear. As we realize alone - we are all one. I am whole without another and do not need another to fulfill me, as I am fulfilled as myself here. Where each one is whole within who they are to then walk as Equal as One.

Consider seeing with Realeyes that acceptance and allowance of these so called holidays - and consider whether they are actually best for all - or only best for those with money living in self interest.

Consider being the Change.

13 February 2012

2012: "Every One Change in their Own Time"

"Every One change in their own time"


In Time - we believe we heal. Through time we believe things will 'fall into place'. In time we believe we will see the truth and find peace. But what is time and how does time move? Per second? Per Minute? Per hour, day, week, year? How do we grasp time and why is time something that happens to us? Why are we not living as time - walking with time breath by breath - moment by moment here?

The idea that 'every one change in their own time" implies everyone exists in their own reality. as if time is calculated and accumulated differently for each person. This implies separation as we say, "I am not there yet - I will get there in my own time" Don't we realize Time is here Equal and One with all - as we are all on One Earth, that moves the same and we have days and night and we are all walking through time together. No one has their own experience of time.... Unless you are in your Mind. In your Mind - you become a time traveler. Where you can visit the past and the future and real time completely escapes you as you are 'lost in time' within/as the Mind.

What is fascinating is that we think time is something that is happening to us - something outside of us. I use to tell myself and accepted the belief that 'time will heal all things' and thought that through Time I would find myself peaceful and understand my life and what I'm suppose to do. But I have come to realize that this is self deception - as I lived.. no I didn't live, I waited, just sat and waited for time to tell me who I am. I expected time to help me get over things in my life - believing that after enough time, I would feel better. But this is accepting enslavement - as I am then a slave to time as time keeps me from 'feeling better'. I have to wait for time to pass for me to get to a point where I feel ok in life.

The statement that "every One change in their own time" is a justification for ourselves to not be responsible for ourselves. As we might see a solution for ourselves and our world and this whole world - but yet we accept, "my time is moving slower to change - I will get there when I get there"

When the POINT is - WE ARE HERE. And that is time. The time is Here. We are Here and the ability to change within time is moment to moment. To start walking as equals with time through breathing - as then we are active participants with time - being real with time = walking the real timeline of life. Out of the Mind and here as the breath - this is what is real. And this time is real for all equally. Then we are here - participating within realty - out of the self interest living in the mind - where time eludes us.

Time to Wake up and see the deception we allow in the most simple ideas such as this. We beLIEve this statement is innocent - but when we see it with real eyes, we realize it's real lie. Time is not separate from us - and Time doesn't happen to us. Time is here as we live, walk, breathe and it's time to become self directive human beings that use time to create change that is best for all - within and without.

So stop letting time tell you who you are going to be and when. Decide to make the most of the time we have here to change ourselves - through stopping the dishonesty's we accept.

The Time is Now - the Place is Here. Who will we be In Time? In Real Time - that is equal for all? Walk as this equality breath by breath to start to see what is really here. Then we have the Power to change not only ourselves - but this world - into a place that is best for all. Real Life Living.

investigate desteni, and equal money to support yourself to become a real human being here that walk with real time to sort out ourselves in time. What are you waiting for?

10 February 2012

2012: Accumulation Created Thoughts and Standing Up

I wasn't going to write tonight here... it was a thought that accumulated through experiences tonight.

I came home and went to read a chat. Mid chat - I decided I wanted to make a vlog - as it's been a couple weeks, and wanted to face the point and address some stuff of spirituality.

While I was making the vlog - I was having, or I have been having a lot of reactions/back chats come up recently in relation to it. Like, "I am not clear - I don't have all the points - I don't speak clear enough - it wont make sense, I can do a better vlog later with more preparation" And it's fascinating because my previous experience with vlogging was like, cool, here we go, no preparation - just speak and breathe and be here, and I was usually satisfied within the point. Well. getting self honest, it was usually me re watching the video to make sure it was acceptable to me. that I looked ok, I sounded ok, like I knew what i was talking about - that it made sense, and usually then I would feed this desire to be accepted by telling myself, 'good job - you sound good - you make sense.' Quite a mindfuck I have allowed, as I am currently now facing the polarity of my accepted and allowed behavior.

So I made the video and despite the reactions I was having coming up within me, I was going to place it anyway. Then my computer froze up and my web page closed - losing the video I just made. There was a part of me that was relieved - as I didn't have to then face the point. I told myself I would do it later - or tomorrow, and give myself more direction within what I am sharing.

So some things I can see within myself in relation to this point. Firstly, in the past, I tended to speak about things I was comfortable with and felt ok with how I presented myself - presenting myself in a specific way so that I did feel safe - instead of just speaking/sharing/expressing - and then letting go unconditionally any and all thoughts about the video. So something for me to become aware of - not allowing ANY thoughts - of any nature - to influence the experience of myself within sharing a vlog. No 'good chat' or 'bad chat' - simply silence in allowing myself to share what I have expressed.

Yet - within this - I can also see how I can support myself practically within this point to assist myself from going into reactions such as I had tonight. Writing out the point first - making notes for myself to make sure I am getting to the points I want to share, applying self forgiveness before I make the video to make sure I am here and clear before starting. I realize I am able to simply express what comes up in the moment - but what i have been seeing within myself recently and supporting myself within is self direction. So this is a point I can also support myself - giving myself direction through the vlogs I share - laying out an outline for me to follow to ensure that I don't leave myself unsatisfied.

So cool to see this. This was the beginning, however, of the accumulation of the thought to not blog tonight.

Again, my web page closed and I lost the video. My internet was being very slow, as I tried to go through some videos, and it was taking longer then usual to play them - so I became impatient with myself. This caused frustration and the thougths then rose up - 'fuck this, I'm just going to call it a night. I don't need to blog tonight, I've been blogging for the last 20 some odd days, I've done enough, I can skip one night. No big deal, I can't just got to bed and take care of all this tomorrow'. But what I see is that this point of writing a blog has become a stability for me - and within this idea that I wasn't going to blog - there was like a sense of loss. Or more so - I know I can blog - there is not reason for me not to - I want to keep this up. So the idea that i gave myself that I wasn't going to - it was like I was letting myself down.

I realize I didn't have to blog tonight - yet I saw my starting point for not wanting to blog was within the mind as a reaction. So, this is why I decided to blog, directing myself through the point in not falling for the thoughts - but standing up within myself in directing myself.

Some things for me to take with me as I walk - patients. To slow down, breathe, and be patient. Stop the frustration of things not going how I expect them to go - but to remain stable as things arise within my reality and my world. And see these points and events as support - as I was supported in seeing how I was allowing polarity to exist within my in relation to my vlogs. See how I can support myself more effectively through getting things done and supporting myself to be stable through directing myself within what I want to do, such as making a vlog.

Cool - glad to be here and for pushing myself to write. Until next time..

09 February 2012

2012 Proves Human Devolution

It has been over 2000 years since the idea was placed that this world would face a great change. A mass awakening - a helping hand. Years and years of waiting to see what will come - what will happen. This whole world as been sitting idly by - being busy with buying up goods - and getting lost in the 'what's to come scenarios'.

Its so fascinating that we are so entertained by the ideas of how the earth will change - which savior is going to come rescue us - that we don't consider that WE can BE the CHANGE.

I mean fuck, how dumb have we become as a society that we, instead of taking responsibility for what this world exist as and has become, what it reflects as humanity as a whole, just talk and debate and defend our opinion about whether we believe in the Mayan prophecy or Nostradamus;s predictions.

We would rather converse about what 'could happen' instead of making things happen. And this is the point we must all Face - We are the Creators of this Reality - and until we Step up to our Responsibility - nothing will change. And we are only being dishonest with ourselves in expecting something out side of ourselves to save us - to change us - to give us direction. We must Be that which we want to see in this world.

Can't we see the deception within ourselves to simply allow what is happening in this world to happen - without questioning it?

Can't we see the abuse we are accepting within this world by saying, 'there is a god, he has a plan, and we have to learn a lesson'?

Can't we see how our ignorance is killing us?


We all believe we have been busy evolving as a species. But as the generations continue and our history becomes longer - can't we see we are not evolving? We only THINK we are - because we are all so caught up in the desire to be happy and content - not realizing that this world is devolving. As we move throughout the years - the atrocities of the world only get bigger - the the solutions become less effective. We are expecting something outside of ourselves to change ourselves - and this is impossible. If we cannot change ourselves - how can we expect the world to change. If we are not willing to change - how can we expect others to change?

Evolution implies actually learning from the mistakes - taking another route, trying something different and becoming better within the effectiveness of existence. We can see within this then that Humanity has not evolved - as we still allow starvation and war and rape and pornography and inequality and hate. Until we realize that we can't keep covering up what is here with pretty pictures of evolving - we will never have the power to change what is here. Because to Change what is Here - we Must Face what is Here - and that means ALL of what is here. Every part - every aspect, nothing left out - all visible here to see for real. Then we will have the ability to direct this world.

EVILution is the belief that Humanity is getting better without living actual practical solutions that is Best for All in this World .Until we are living Equality and Oneness - we are not evolving - we are allow evil to reign on earth. Equal Money and Desteni present solutions for this World that would actually create evolution in this world - where we see what we have accepted and allowed - we no longer accept it and we correct it until all life is Free. This is when we will see a progression within Humanity.

Will you Face the Truth?


Stop waiting - stop idling by - stop your own self interest pursuit of happiness within your own opinion of how Life is and Dare to Face the Life that is Here. Be the Change - join the solution.

08 February 2012

2012: 21 Days and Beyond...

21 Days and Beyond...

So I have been constant with myself in writing a blog everyday for the last 24 days. It is cool to be here and see how I am learning to trust myself - within realizing that it is about making a decision within self and giving self no room to negotiation. Meaning - through this writing process, I have experienced resistances, and irritation and distractions and avoidance - but in the end, always making the decision to complete the task, walk it through, get it done.

Looking back on the process, I can see where I can be more specific within my writing, within applying myself within self responsibility for what I am writing through self forgiveness, and actually utilizing this writing process as a way to face myself. As points came up within myself through the last 3 weeks of self judgment and fear of others, and mostly self judgments. And instead of taking a part these points within myself, facing them, seeing where they are coming from, how I created them... I just breathed through them in suppressing them in not dealing with them. Just doing the very basic of what I said I would - which I can see as dishonest. Because if I can see there is more for me to do within addressing a point - it is my responsibility to do so, and if I am not - it is because I am trying to hide from myself. And within that - realizing that this process is about self perfecting - and the idea that I have another time to do something that is in my present awareness - that is dishonest. I am then separating myself from myself in the moment of what is here.

So pushing myself to become more directive within myself in addressing points that arise in the moment. My daily self reflections can be a bit general - so it's time to zero in on what it is I am accepting and allowing - through seeing for real where these points originate within myself.

Another point I realize in relation to not being specific with points that arise in the moment - is that through this I accept myself to time loop. I accept myself to prolong my process of facing myself. I prolong the process of all as I being equal and one with all, I am equally responsible for what is here as me, within and without. thus, if I am not facing and changing and forgiving what is here as me in the moment - I am not supporting change in this world - I am only prolonging the suffering and inequality. This is unacceptable.

The Process is then pushing self to see more, do more, realizing more than what is currently being accepted and allowed, as this is who I really am. Who we have been living as is a lie, and thus it is up to us to open ourselves and expand ourselves in ways that are best for all. And we do this through facing who we are in every moment - and taking responsibility of ourselves as creators through self forgiveness.

Grateful to be here and grateful for the tools of self discovery.



Check out other's who have walking through the writing process within facing themselves: