31 January 2012

2012 Mirror Mirror

Taking responsibility for myself here - as I have been accepting and allowing myself to participate in blame through gossip.

I have been having conflict with a family member - but it was not a direct conflict through face to face communication - it was through the digital world and through speaking about it with other family members.

What I see within myself through participating in such communications about this situation - is that I was blaming this person for being the way that they are and for doing something apparently to me. I was blaming this person for saying things that I reacted towards as judgments - like he was judging me within saying the things he was saying... that I accepted within myself to feel judged.

And instead of stopping myself from accepting myself as a victim - I just blamed him for saying things that I reacted to, and communicated 'why he is the way he is, and his actions say this about him'

This is unacceptable - as I am only separating myself from this being through blaming them, instead of taking responsibility for myself.

Taking responsibility for accepting myself as a victim. Taking responsibility for accepting myself to feel hurt. Taking responsibility for accepting myself to react as blame. Taking responsibility for accepting myself to gossip about this being. Taking responsibility for projecting my own self onto him - which is what I was so upset with him about in the first place. That he was saying 'mean things' about other beings - and got upset for him not taking responsibility for himself within realizing those beings he speaks of are him.

And so - for me here to realize - I AM THE BEING I REACTED TO. Meaning = I am reacting to myself for separating myself from others within seeing/realizing they are always reflecting back to me what i am accepted and allowing.

So let's learn from this within realizing - It's always about self. My perseption - thoughts - ideas, feelings, emotions, ALL experiences within myself that are projected onto another being - is ALWAYS me. So take advantage of what is here through others within our reality. It's not 'them' - it's 'us'.
It's not 'you' - it's 'me'.

Suggesting that this being is doing something that makes me feel a certain way - or that I turn around and talk about in reacting of what they are doing - blaming them for not seeing or blaming them for not taking responsibility - how clearly I can see this is me.

So I stop.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame others within my reality for who they are instead of taking responsibility for myself here
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to expect others to take responsibility for themselves when I have not yet unconditionally taking responsibility for myself - always in all ways
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project myself onto others through blaming them for talking shit about another being instead of realizing I am accepting and allowing myself to talk shit about them
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from others within my reality through blaming them for not taking responsibility for their own reactions toward others and instead realizing this is me showing me that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to others and blame them for what I am responsible for as reactions and projecting onto them
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to expect others to change instead of directing me to change
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within gossip as a way to blame another for their words/actions within attempting to hide and not face my self responsibility for what i accept and allow within my words/actions
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I can hide from myself through gossip instead of realizing I am only being dishonest through not facing myself as who I am within myself as reactions towards another
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to support separation within myself and others through participating within gossip as a way to not face and take responsibility for myself and what i Have accepted and allowed within me

I stop and I breathe realizing all is me equally. And thus - if all are me - all are showing me who I am and what i Have accepted and allowed. So I stop blame and start taking responsibility for myself realizing I am able to respond without reactions - and instead stand here equal and one with all as me through self honesty.

Change can only happen through/as Self.


29 January 2012

2012: How/Why I am Able to Hear the Desteni Message

Where do I start? I suppose my whole life was leading to this point - where I face myself and this world in it's totality. I mean it's inevitable for us all to face the truth of ourselves - as we cannot continue on the path we are currently on - there has to be a change - whether we like it or not. Because in the End - Life is calling each one to wake up to the realization that we are here - we are responsible and we are the only ones to change ourselves/this world. No one can save us - no one can change us - we have to move ourselves and decide for ourselves what life is - who we are in relation to life and how life will be lived. As we can see currently - this thing we call life - is only self destruction. And so - we have to stop and re consider the path we are walking - and dare to do something that has never been done in all of the time humans have walked on this earth.... See each other and ourselves Equal. Live Equality and Oneness and stop waiting for an imaginary being/beings to direct ourselves - but to BE the directive Principle of ourselves and our Life and to create a world that is BEST FOR ALL - it is time, once and for ALL.

So again - where do I start? I found Desteni/the desteni message about 2 and a half years ago. At that time I was working at job I had been at for over 6 years, living alone, drinking, using marijuana consistently, existing in polarity(on again off again) with my boyfriend at the time - and still seeking and searching for anything that gave me answers to the questions that existed within me since the time I entered this world. I was living stagnantly - waiting for something outside of myself to tell me who I am - where I come from - why I am here and what was my purpose in this Life.

While I didn't ever question the world systems that are currently in place - I 'knew' there was something more to life - I know there was something I was missing. I knew that this desire to know myself was real and my whole life was a quest in finding that which I was looking for. Never realizing I was only looking for myself. But I didn't see this/realize this - I used religions and spirituality and books and gurus and self help books to tell me anything that 'made sense' and ultimately made me feel special in life and content with myself. -This never lasted.

I wanted desperately to 'be somebody' in this world. I wanted to be special - to have a special purpose in Life - to be known and looked up to and seen as something great. I attempted to attain these tings through various ways.

In high school - I was set within a predetermined life where I was told I was going to be famous. I was going to be in the entertainment industry and was going to make a lot of money. I was told I was beautiful and my beauty was rare. I was told I was special. And even though I did not feel this way about myself - as I was always uncomfortable within my own skin - I wanted to feel better and believe everything that everyone told me. So I pursued this desire to be special through acting and modeling classes. Years and years I believed this was what I was 'suppose' to do - and I did all I could. I believed 'once I get this - then I will be happy and will be content with my life - and I will be able to use my 'statues' to bring awareness to this world. lol - sound pretty egotistical doesn't it? Well I was - but within the starting point of extreme sense of being unworthy and different and not good enough and I wanted with all my being to feel special - to not feel like an outsider - to be accepted by others and this world and to have a special place in this existence.

Once I finally became self honest with myself within realizing this is not what I want - I don't want to be famous - I don't want to be an actress or a model - realizing this was placed before me as a path I was suppose to live - I decided to stop my delusions and attempt to fulfill an idea of myself and let it go completely. This is the first time I experienced a sense of freedom.

Backing up just a little bit - the reason I held such a belief in this 'i wanna be famous' was because growing up I was exposed to 2 forces that are currently driving this world mad. Religion and Spirituality. Religion on my dad's side of the family where I was sent to church and learned about god and heaven and hell and what would happen to be if I was a sinner. Once this no longer played a part in my life anymore - I had my mom's side - of spirituality. Where there were beliefs of ghost and the after life and life purposes and souls and psychics and healers and the idea that there was a 'reason and purpose' for our lives. I learned about past lives and reincarnation and communication with the other side. I learned about 'gifts' of the soul and being able to 'open up' to more then what we can see in this world. And through this - believing that there was a reason I was here on earth - that I decided to be born into this world and my life was a lesson for me to live - to advance as a soul in heaven. That this was just one of many lives I had lived and that I decided and planned my life before I got here - and will remember again why I decided to come here after this life was over.

So my motivation in life was to find out why I was here. What was my purpose - what did I plan to experience - what lessons did I need to learn? And throughout my life - I had many psychic readings that all told me the same thing. I was going to have a life of bliss - and I was going to be someone 'great' and that I would be happy and I would help people. Great - I thought - now when will this happen? I was in a constant state of 'waiting....' believing that my life was already planned out - so I just needed to 'go with the flow' and enjoy the ride.

So that was my life. Waiting for something outside of myself to tell me what to do - to direct me - to give me a SIGN. My whole life was reading into what was happening outside of myself and trying to find a 'deeper meaning' and a path I could follow. Fuck - I was such a follower. Believing whatever that made me feel special and comforted me within my overall dissatisfaction with life.

As a child - I had questioned 'who am I' and why do I experience myself the way that I do? What is this voice in my mind? Why can I 'hear' myself within my mind - what is this internal dialogue that I am able to have. Why does it seam like I can actually hear myself but no one else could. I would not get these answers until many many many many years later - when I was finally ready to become self honest and take responsibility for myself as life.

I am jumping a bit all over the place within this writing - but it's like - my whole life was bringing me to this point of Desteni - all my life I was being prepared to face the truth of myself and it's because of the life that I lived and the questions I asked myself that I was open enough to hear - to see what is here.

I had experiences with psychic development classes - learning to 'trust my intuition' and the desire to open myself up to my 'higher self'. Believing that there was a part of myself that was aware of myself in the totality of myself and all I had to do was train myself to open myself up to know all that my higher self knew - to have this 'higher more expansive' perspective of life and who I was within and as a part of the puzzle. Because ultimately - I wanted to know what life was. Why we were here - how am I 'aware' of myself in this life and not others. What is the point of this life. Why does the world exist the way it does - how did it come about to be this. Where were we going - simply - what the fuck was the point?

Every time I beLIEved I has an 'answer' - I was content for a bit, until the energy ran out and I sought out for more knowledge and information. It was 2007 that I had discover 'the secret' and the law of attraction that I thought I hit the jack pot. I was told I was the creator of my reality - that my reality and experience could change if I simply changed the way I looked at it = my state of mind. I believed my thoughts were was created this reality - that they were real - and the thoughts I had would create the reality of myself. And so - I accepted this idea that I am my mind - I am my thoughts - and so I wanted to have a blissful lovely life where I felt good and could experience of joy that life is. So i thought only 'positive thoughts'. I looked to the 'brighter side' - I stayed positive. No mater what happened - I always found the 'beauty' in it - the silver lining - finding the reason things were the way they were - in accepting what was here as 'negative/positive' and believing I could choose which side of the coin I could exist within. So I stopped my participation in the 'negative'. I stopped paying attention to what I defined as negative - which was this world as the bigger picture' and just focused on the positive in my moment to moment reality. Believing if I just painted a pretty picture - then I would create this for myself. But it was all based on money - believing I could create more money for myself which in turn would create a better life experience for me. I was in complete acceptance of this current economic system and was lost in self interest to create a better life for me and to have what i wanted.

But I could never live this constantly - I was always fluctuating, And every time I would fall from the 'high' I would have to push myself to get back on top to feel better believing this what who I really was and how I would get everything I desire in life.

At this time - my religious and spirituality back ground came together for me - and I thought I had it all figured out. We are all one - yet various level of the 'one'. I believed there was a god/higher being that has a master plan to this world - and that I could have a relationship with this 'god'. And that this 'god' would guide me as it was a part of me - where I came from - and I had the gift of god to create a life that was meant to be lived. But it was no in the best interest of all - as I accepted we were all on various levels of awareness - there was no equality - only that we were one and each one learning whatever lessons were needed for them. I even justified the people that starve to death in this world - and those that got raped - and the those thta are abused - that we are all creating our own realities - and there was a reason all of this shit existed. Wow - what a fuck up!

Then - the energy of 'the secret' dissipated and I was again finding myself wanting to know more. To find more - looking again anywhere I could to find out the truth of this life. This brought me to the internet and it's grand selection of information that fuels all sorts of belief systems in this world. I started looking into conspiracy theories - about the government - the elite, 9/11. Even aliens and government cover ups. I started seeing michael moore films which supported me to see there was something wrong with the world systems that we currently have - and thats when I was finally ready to hear the solution - to myself and this world.

Within all of this shit that i Have layed out here - all this stuff was iwthin my mind - i was defining myself according to all this stuff - accepted what I wanted to hear and used whatever I could to make sense of myself what what is going on in this world.

It was then early 2009 - and I believed there was something happening within humanity. There was an awakening taken place. Obama just got into office - more people were becoming aware of 'higher consciousness' and the truth about our world systems/goverments/the elite. More and more people were seeking some sort of truth 'out there' and I beleived we were heading for a mass awakening. This tied into to the whole mayan prophecy - and believed we were living in an exciting time on earth. we were facing changes on a global scale and it would happen magically and without anyone taking relsponsibility - but it was a process happening outside of ourselves that we just had to 'go through'.

And then... I found desteni. At first glance - I was intrigued because I was seeing this girl 'channel' (as I would describe it from my perspective/experiences). I thought it was cool but didn't investigate it more. Except I kept finding myself back to her youtube channel. And the more videos I watched - the more I opened up to what was being said. I saw the many vast videos she had - like over 600 videos of beings from the dimensions speaking about life and existence and humanity and life after death and about what is here as this reality. The first few months of going back and forth to the videos - it didn't all make sense to me. I wasn't actually hearing what was being said - I was just watching from the perspecitve of seeking new information and knowledge that I could add to my list of beliefs. Then something hit me. I decided this is the most realistic point I have ever experienced as a being 'channeling' form the other side. So many beings with so many videos all sharing the same message. Humanity was existing in separation of themselves and beleiving they are just thinking machines. That each one was looking outside of themselves for answers to who they are - without considering that each is simply here.

I then decided to start from the beginning. I went to the very first video that was ever shared and walked through them until I was 'caught up'. What I learned through this process and could see clearly for myself - was that Humans were conditioned mind personality - existing as thoughts feelings and emotions. Pretending to be this personality and existing in self interest and separation from each other - each existing in their own mind bubble reality where we did not consider this physical reality or ourselves as simply physical breathing beings.

Going back again, through out all my many finding in different belief systems - I was never presented with practical tools I could live. I was told to just have an attitude about life and never dared to question what was here as life and nature and the world systems and the many different structures and relationships. And I always felt like I was never doing enough - or that I didn't know how to actually support and assist myself to become self realized - or to change - I only had many ideas and beliefs that I had to follow and have faith in - never was it presented to me to become self honest, or to consider taking responsibility for what have been created within my reality and this world.

Desteni gave it to me straight. While there were many beings sharing many experiences - the message was stable and always the same. It was direct - it was raw - and it was revealing to me just how much i was abdicating my self responsibility for myself and who I was. Everything made sense to me - it was common sense. This world exists the way it does - because I exist the way that I do. It was a mirror reflecting to me who I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become. What this world was - was me. Competition, war, abuse, separation, polarity, beliefs... all of this exists because I have accepted and allowed it within myself. As above so below. As within so without. I realized I am equal and One with what is Here as this World - with ALL that is here as this world - and it was time to stop trying to ignore the realization that I am responsibility for this world in inequality. It was time to start forgiving myself and moving myself to become real. Because what I began to see - is that i accepted myself as this thinking being. That I am my thoughts and this secret reality I have within myself was who I was - not realizing that that is the illusion. That was is real is what is physical and what matters is what is in matter. The mind was an alternate reality I was existed within - separate form this one reality we all share. I was ignoring myself as life - as the physical - all here equal and one - through allowing myself to exist within my mind - in the past and the future, in beliefs and perceptions, within my own self interest of a personality i designed to find a place in this world.

I was supported to start questioning what was here - to question who I accepted myself to be - what I accepted myself to believe - and to realize I have enslaved myself to the conditions of my life experiences. I have trapped myself within my minds eye of who I am - and I have completely disregarding all life as me through accepting this world the way it is - not realizing I am actually responsible. I was supported in realizing I have been waiting my whole life to find something outside of myself not realizing that I am Here. Simple as that. I am Here - in this world - in this body - in this One life and I have been wasting my life seeking to find fulfillment outside of myself. I have been in self interest looking for my purpose and reason without investigating solutions for this world - I was only looking for solutions for myself.

I was supported in realizing to wait for an after life is to spit on this world and the millions that suffer. To live my pursuit of happiness without the consideration of what is best for all is the definition of evil - as I was then participating in the creation and continuation of this world as inequality/separation.

I had completely separated myself from myself and it was time for me to face Reality - to come back to earth - to get real and to start living a solution for this world. To be the change I want to be in this world.

SO I was able to hear the desteni message - because I was ready to become self honest. I heard/saw the common sense of what was being shared and I knew that Equality was the only solution to this world. Even after applying the tools and participating within the group for awhile - I wanted to stop and go back to my life of ignorance - wanting to go back to my personality that was accepted by society - and didn't want to be responsible for myself any more. But the more I tried to do this - the more I saw what Desteni shared was the truth. That this world is evil and each of us are responsible. That the Desteni of the Universe is the birth of Equality and Oneness. And this Process of change/rebirth happens through actual practical living applications. Breathing - writing, self honesty, self forgiveness, self corrective statements/applications - to stop the pre-programmed lives we were meant to live that supports the current state of the world - and to equality within ourselves the polarities that exist within us as the mind - to get back to earth - to get real - to face what is Here as ourselves - to direct ourselves and to stop being a slave to our thoughts, feelings and emotions. TO once and for ALL DIRECT ourselves to be that which is Best for All - a Human Being breathing Here taking responsibility for all as one as equal and walking a process to correct this world - because we see it is unacceptable. This was my desteni. I cannot hide the truth of myself - as I see myself within every moment I am here. I see when I am moving from fear or desire or self interest - or jealousy or competition, and it's up to me to stop and re create my starting point to one that I direct. where I am not being directed by my mind as these various energy manifestations - but living here as life as the breathe as the physical - letting go of all self definitions I have accepted of myself - and walk this process of self change. To change myself and to change this world. Because I realize - None are Free Until All are Free - and All are Free within Equality.

I realize to wait for a savior is to accept enslavement - and if I want something done - I have to do it myself. I realize/could see that I don't need to wait to get to heaven before I realize myself - I can bring heaven here for all and we can start actually living.

The Desteni message is stable, It is common Sense. It is what is Best for All - and it is the Solution to the freedom of All Life. I couldn't deny what I could see for myself. Now it's just time to Live it.


28 January 2012

2012: "Be a leader, not a follower"

"Be a leader, not a follower"

This statement has existed in my life for a long time - and only now I see it for what is really is.

TO be a 'follower' within this world - is to go with the flow - accept this world the way it is - to not question what is here as what we call life - to 'fit it' and present a personality that does not consider life or who we are in fact. It is to be blind to how this world operates and how each of us operates - but to keep accepting and allowing ourselves to exist in our own separate reality of the mind where we can do anything we want and be anything we want and not face ourselves within this physical reality. As I see this world reflects who each one is. So to be a follower implies you accept this Life the way it is - and do nothing to change yourself or this world.


To be a leader - is to dare to question ourselves and this world. TO expose and reveal the actual nature of what is going on and to not stop until all abuse ends in this world - because it is unnecessary. there is no point for inequality and separation and abuse to exists - it is because of a money system that 'leads the way' for us to not question what is actually going on. To be a leader is to change - actually - practically in ways that can be lived - where we investigate who we are and what we have become and dare to direct ourselves to be a human that actually cares about life. Where we find ways were all can live free - be free - without being a slave to a money system where we believe we have free choice. how is this so when the only choice that exists is how you can make money to survive. that is not free choice - that is an illusion and is set up so that we does dare to question this reality.

A leader does something different. Tries something different.

A leader stands up for something - for themselves - even if others don't agree or cannot yet understand it.

A leader paves a new path - creates something new - dares to be different.

Yet - leader/follower also implies separation. Within equality - there is no leader or follower - there are equals. And this is what is required of this world.

I had a family member tell me that he can't stand to see me "trying to change the fucking world" and for me to stop being a parrot and a follower - i am too beautiful and smart and i should be a leader.

To me, I am - because I am not allowing myself to be in blind ignorance of what this world actually is - I am standing Up for the Principle of Life - of what is Best for All - Equality and Oneness. And I wont stop until it's done. There is no other choice - because None are free until All are free.

Some might not see 'why' we as destonians do what we do - yet realize it must be done. Sharing ourselves - exposing this world - presenting a solution that is best for all - this is how we change ourselves and until this world is a reflection of a humanity that actually cares about itself - we wont stop.

I can't stop because someone doesn't like what I am doing - isn't that being a follower?

I can't stop because people fear what I am involved in - isn't that being a follower?

I see the common sense of Equality and an Equal Money System - and I am willing to walk my whole life to ensure this happens. Realizing I have to be the change I want to see in this world. Common Sense. Actually, Practically Lived.

26 January 2012

2012: What is Love?

Love.

What is Love?

When I was a child - and would hear the radio - I noticed a peculiar thing. Everyone was signing about love. And it appeared in a wide variety of ways. Happy songs of Love - sad songs of Love - no matter what though - as a child... I wondered about this thing that everyone seemed to be so consumed by.

What is Love? Is Love a feeling? A feeling to have to/towards someone - yet it fluxuates and is never stable - as it changes and alters and turns into other things - such as hate. I suppose this is the relationship defintion of Love - when to people 'fall in love' then 'fall outta love'. So it's like this 'space' we enter. This place we go to where we feel all these wonderful things that completely take us over and we forget about everything else in our world.

Love is a drug? It has to be. As it is used to 'feel something' - to have an experience - and it is dependent upon something else; usually another being.

How fascinating we are as Humans - seeking love in Life as if that's it. As if that's the ultimate experience - as if it defines what Life is.

How can love have various degrees? How can one person be 'in love' and another can't. Why do we think Love will save this World?

Love is fleeting and temporary - and in the end exposes who each one is in fact. Addicts looking for another high.

Everyone pushes Love to be an answer for this world. I even believed Love was the answer. If I loved myself and everyone else - we would be in a 'better place'. As if all you need is love.

But what is Love really? Just an idea we believe in - an experience we create for ourselves? A game we each play a part in. How is Love actually being Lived in this World? Does Love actually exists in this World?

If Love was Real - would inequality exist?

If Love was Real - would murder exist?

If Love was Real - would rape exist?

If Love was Real - would divorce exist?

If Love was Real - would starvation exist?

If Love was Real - would hate exist?

How can Love be Real - if it is not something Real for All?

How can Love be an answer to this world - when love does not feed bellies or put roof over peoples heads. If Love was Real - wouldn't all people be fed?

If Love was real - would we have war?

If Love was real - would we have an elite?

If Love was real - would we have competition?

If Love was Real - wouldn't it be a living application for all - where we existed in a world of Equality - where every single part of LIfe was cared for and supported and honored and cherished and valued?

How Can love be Real when we have different feelings towards different people?

Why do we accept Love to be something you share with someone else?
Why do we accept Love to be a feeling outside of ourselveS?
Why do we believe Love to be the greatest thing within Humanity? Havent we proven Love cannot possible exist?

If one child starves - and one being in life is disregarded - is there real love actually here?

What if Love was Lived? What kind of world would we live in?

Why are some allowed to have special feelings of love - while others are ignored and slaughtered?

Why do we see Love as so great? When in the name of Love - this world abuses.

What if we are using Love to mask the hate that is actually existing in this world. What if Love is the illusion. What if Love is meant to distract and create separation of specialness?

What if Loved ceased to exist? Maybe then we would no longer ignore what matters in this world - this world of matter.

Maybe if we stopped trying to 'attain' love - we would simply live here.

Maybe if Love was exposed to be creating separation - we would stop the lie and start working together. Seeing equality within all of our selfs.

What if Love hasn't been created yet?

I ask all these questions - to see within myself what have I accepted without investigating for myself. How does Love actually support this world?

It doesn't - it keeps us seeking and searching for the one point where we will find love - not realizing we can be love as a living expression of ourselves. Where we love all of the 'each others' equally. Where love is not this illusive thing that we attempt to posses - but give to all equally.

What if Love stopped existing in the Mind of fallacy - and starting becoming a reality for all?

I see this in an Equal Money System. Not only will Life be Free - love will be Free - as we will be living Freely as Love for All.

Dare to question what is Here - and dare to make a difference.

We can't keep doing the same thing and expecting different results. We have to stop and start over - removing that which does not support what is best for all.

Investigate Desteni and an Equal Money System. Dare to see yourself and this world for Real. Dare to realeyes Love is Equality.



25 January 2012

2012: Everything happens for a Reason - Statement of Deception?

Who here as heard the phrase, "Everything happens for a reason!"??

I know I have - and I have been the one preaching it.

You didn't get the job... "everything happens for a reason"

You're boyfriend left you... "everything happens for a reason"

You couldn't buy that home... "everything happens for a reason"

There are countless ways we have expressed this saying, "everything happens for a reason" From what I can see - in most cases it is used as a way to make people feel better about themselves - to not be hard on themselves - to not feel like they are 'left out of this cruel world' Behind it we can see it plays a part in keeping up in acceptance of a 'greater plan'. That no matter what happens in our lives - it was 'planned' to be and there is a reason it was.

My boyfriend left me for my best friend... 'everything happens for a reason'

The baby was born still born... 'everything happens for a reason'



"I got a huge promotion and I'm getting married and my life is so great and life is so beautiful - and I am so happy with what is happening in my life.... everything DOES happen for a reason."



REALLY?



What are we actually accepting and allowing within this statement. Statements we attempt to live to make sense of this world and what is going on in our lives. We feel special knowing there is a 'plan' for us - as we are so consumed with ourselves and our own reality - we have failed to question whether this statement is actually what is best for all.

Child Prostitution exists... everything happens for a reason?

People day from starvation every day... everything happens for a reason?

Corporations steal resources from lands and people to make a profit so many can consume consume consume... everything happens for a reason?

Porn, rape, child abuse, murder, war... all of these things are accepted and allowed and lived and we say... 'everything happens for a reason'

Time to stop. Time to stop living delusional statements that do not support what is best for all - but only our secluded pursuit of happiness - where we can believe there is a greater purpose and plan for us that we use to wait and sit by and be ignorant to what is actually being accepted and allowed within our shared reality.

"Everything happens for a reason" is an attempt to abdicate our self responsibility for what we create within this world. There is nothing 'out there' or 'greater then us' or a 'master plan' that is dictating our lives. This implies we are slaves. And if we accept such a statement to be real for ourselves - then we accept our own enslavement.

The only reason anything happens in this world - including all and everything that exists HERE - is because, we as Humanity - have accepted and allowed ourselves to exist in separation of ourselves and each other and our home called Earth. We instead pretend we live in a movie where we seek pleasures out side of ourselves to make us feel better and to make us feel good. Seeking that temporary self high where we can imagine we are all sorts of wonderful things without having to face the actuality of this reality.

Time to wake up - time to stop pretending - Time for us to Get Real - and Get back to this Reality and stop allowing our beliefs to run our lives.

"Everything happens for a reason" means there is something greater then yourself here - showing you something - trying to teach you a lesson - placing you in an experience/situation that you are forced to accept through such a statement.

There is no reason for inequality to exists. There is no reason for separation to exists. There is no reason for hate or self interest or fear or crime or anything that is not best for all.. to exist. Because we can Live what is best for all. We can live Equality and Oneness. We can Live with eachother - Equal and One.

We can stop our pretending and start over. We can change ourselves. We can change our world - We just have to change what we accept and allow. And this starts with ourselves.

So I dare you to question that which you've held to be valuable - to question who you are in this world and what you've come to believe. I dare you to open your eyes in seeing this world for what is is - A place that requires Direction - where Humans take back the Directive Principle of ourselves and stop waiting for the unfolding of 'something greater.. out there' to happen. Make sense of your life with Common Sense. Face yourself in self honesty. Forgive yourself and others for what we have accepted and allowed and take back the directive power to change YOU - to change this world.

Because no one can save us. No one can change us. We are the only ones.

Life has no reason in inequality. The Quality of Life and the purpose of our path is Equality. Dare to Stand Up and Be the Change.

23 January 2012

2012: The Only Choice IS Life

I just completed my lesson for assignment 4 within the Desteni I Process course I am currently walking.

I looked at the history of my assignments - and holy shit - I realized/saw that it has taken me almost a year to do these 4 lessons.

What I can see looking back is how easily I allowed myself to choose to fall. Meaning - I deliberatly resisted doing the work and gave myself reasons and excuses and justifications within what I was accepting and allowing.

What is fascinating now to see however - is once we face enough of our accaptances and allowance - we then are faced with a decision. To either walk or not. TO either face ourselves or not. TO either become self honest within self responsibility - or to continue allowing limitations within ourselves as allowing the mind to dictate and direct us within our lives - allowing ourselves to be a slave to our minds resistances.


I've had enough - as I cannot deny what I see I was doing deliberatly - avoiding and justifying and I know this is dishonest. I know I am capable of so much more. I know I am able to walk myself within correction and stopping all participations of beliefs within the mind that tell me what to do. I can direct myself - my life - who I am here. This I start with breath - to slow myself down to see what in fact I am accepting and allowing and to then decide. Who am I going to be? What life will I live? WIll I express myself as self honesty as what is best for all - or allow myself to exist wtihin self interest where I cage myself within my mind and submitting to self definitions that do not serve me.

Well - I choose Life. I am dedicated to life - and nothing will change this. As I see what is Best for All - I see what is necessary to be done - I see I must be the change I want to see in this world - practically - actually - Living through application.

I am on day 8 of my self commitment to write myself here for at least 21 days. What I have found - that is was easy. Because I decided - made a directive decision within myself to stop my bullshit and actually stand up for myself - as I know this is best for me/all. TO face the resistances/limitations I was accepting and allowing - and to actually get over myself/ego - and just do that which I said I would.

This process thus far has supported me within stability - as I am bringing myself here each day as a point of consistency which what I have found wtihin my experience since walking with desteni and the tools is that consitency = stability. And once the choice is made - the decision is clear - it is actually easy. Because by making the choice to support yourself - there becomes no other choice - and this is what is Best for All. Once we start living this point - we realize there is no free choice in this world - there is only What is Best for all - and what is Best for all is Best for me - and so we do that.

What is Best for All - is for All that are in a position to do so - to face what we have accepted and allowed within who we are - to face ourselves and our reality as what is here in realizing we are responsible and since we have created what is here - we are able to change what is here. Only we can do so.

So remove any choice of self interest - and decide to Stand for Life - facing yourself as Life - and equalizing yourself to what is here through self responsibility. Once we do that - the walk becomes simple and we carry ourselves through every moment being here as the breath.

I am grateful for pushing myself - for allowing myself to be a part of Life - to be Here.

Support yourself to do the same - investigate desteni and the Equal Money System - as within this we have real tools to actually create change within ourselves and this world - It is the only thing that is Best for All.

Time to get this done.

Check out the other Destonians Standing Up for Themselves - Standing up for Life

2012: Facing/Forgiving/Correcting Projections

While participating in one of my daily activities – I found I was giving a lot of attention to one being specifically – and within this I started having fears about what this person thought of me or how another person within their reality thought of me – as I feared they were reacting to me giving so much attention to this one being. And it wasn’t as such as giving attention – but simply happen to be, through the activity I was participating within that it seemed as if I was giving this person more attention. And do I realize this is a self definitions/persecution within myself.

So within this – I had fear about how a being was reacting – assumed that they were reacting – and this is also based on self definitions of this person based on past memories and knowledge and information of ‘who this person was’ or what they participated within. Now I can direct this back to myself within seeing that if I were standing in this being’s shoes – this is how I would have reacted. That this other person is giving too much attention to ‘my boyfriend’ and would then become jealous and reactive and even paranoid about what this person was doing. So through this I can see how I am projecting myself onto this other being - instead of taking responsibility for my own acceptances and allowances within who I am.

What was cool, however, about this point was that – I allowed all these thoughts about this situations and reactions to then attempt to direct me to stop what I was participating within. I see that what I was participating within was not of separation of myself – it was within an equal support participation – and thus when I saw myself start moving from this fear/idea about this other being and what they were reacting – I stopped and continued what I was doing – not allowing myself to be directed by/through/as the mind – yet being the directive principle of myself in not accepting fear to move me or ideas or assumptions to tell me what I should or should not be doing. I decided and could see that I was not doing anything ‘wrong’ – except accepting and allowing myself to participate in these thoughts – but was cool to see how then I was going to act within my reality based on these thoughts – but I stopped myself, I breathed and I continued walking/doing what I was doing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself within what I do/how I move as being giving someone attention
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have the thought – I am giving this being too much attention
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to then create an energetic reaction within me such as fear within the thought – I am giving this being too much attention.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within the thoughts of fear of how others react to what I do/how I move
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear how others think of me based on what I do/how I move
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear how others react to me based on what I do/how I move
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to assume how others are reacting to me within what I do/how I move
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project myself onto others through believing they are reacting to me within what I do/how I move instead of taking responsibility for what I accept and allow within standing equal and one with them
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself for others within thoughts of fear of how they are reacting to me based on what I do/how I move
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge my actions based on thoughts of projecting myself onto others as reacting to what I do/how I move
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to redirect my responsibility for myself in what I accept and allow within myself onto another through projecting who I am onto who they are
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define a being within past memories of this being and knowledge and information of who this being is/what this being has participated within
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from another being within defining them within my mind as thoughts and memories and knowledge and information of who they were/what they have participated within
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project jealousy within myself onto antother through the beliefs of how this being is reacting
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project myself onto another being through believing they are reacting towards me in a way that I would have accepted and allowed myself to react to within this situation
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project myself as paranoia onto another being through believing they are having these reactions within themselves
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project myself separate from myself onto another being that which I am responsible for as my acceptances and allowances

I realize ideas and thoughts as self definitions of what I do/how I move do not support me and are of the mind of separation and self judgment
I realize that thoughts create energy within myself such as fear and so it is to stop the thought participation as a way to support myself to not exist within energy
I realize thoughts of any other beings are always projections of myself and sow within this I realize it is within my responsibility to stop what I accept and allow within myself as what I participate within as thoughts and ideas and emotions

When I am walking/moving within an activity/participation and I see thoughts of fear coming in the form of projections as how another sees/perceives me within what I do/how I move – I stop and I breathe realizing it is me and so I stop my participating and take self responsibility for myself in what I accept and allow and no longer support myself to exist within projecting myself onto others… I take it back to me – back to self as the origin of what I am accepting and allowing within myself
When I find myself defining another based on past memories and knowledge and information within my mind - I stop and I breathe realizing this is separation as I separate myself from myself as life as the breathe and separate myself from this being through defining them within an idea of my mind of who they are based on past memories of what they've done - and so I breathe within standing equal and one with all as the breath as life
When I see myself judging myself within the form of thoughts and fear of how others see me within what I do/how I move – I stop and I breathe realizing I am simply here and all that requires of me is to breathe in equality and oneness with myself as all
When I see myself participating within thoughts of projections and ideas of how others see me within what I do/how I move – I stop and I breathe realizing it is a projection of myself and is separating myself from myself as this other being – and so I realize all beings are me reflecting back to me what I have accepted and allowed within myself and so I stop and do not accept myself to project onto another as I realize this is blame – and so I take responsibility for myself within and as breath
When I find myself participating within thoughts that lead to an experience of fear I stop and I breathe realizing this is energy and is accumulating through the thoughts I participate within – and so I breathe being here within realizing this is what is real – not my thoughts or emotions or feelings – they are created through and as the mind in separation of myself.
When I find myself projecting myself onto others what I would accept and allow within myself if I were to stand in their shoes – I stop and I breathe bringing myself back to self responsibility – realizing all thoughts are about me and are me and so I breathe no longer allowing myself to exist within thoughts as I realize they are always of judgments and always of blame and always within separation of myself here as lIfe.


21 January 2012

2012: The Secret thoughts of a Dancer - Facing/Forgiving/Correcting

Writing from a few days ago - walking through points of the Mind with writing, self forgiveness and self correction application:

I had a dance class earlier tonight. I noticed that initially when I started taking the classes – I thought it would be easy and I would be ‘good’ at it.(thought based on past memories/experiences) Then I struggled through the first classes and I felt like I wasn’t good(thought/self judgment). And I felt bad about myself about this(emotion) – and then tonight – I felt better because I could perform the moves better and I saw how the programming from a child dancer came back and then all of a sudden I got this sense of like ‘I’m good’(thought/feeling). I see how I am constantly comparing myself to other dancers. Like there was this girl that I would define as overweight or heavy – and she was very good and I had thoughts about how that was surprising that she was good (thought). Or there was this other girl – and you could tell by her form that she was trained as a dancer – but then I had the thoughts that she was out for awhile because of the shape of her body(thought). Why do I judge people based on the way that they look – meaning the shape of their bodies? What value have I given this? I see within myself – for my whole life I desired a body that was defined as beautiful (self definition). Which was a small waste and skinny. Now it’s evolved to be like ‘toned’. But still a small waste – one that doesn’t roll or stick out when standing. A flat stomach.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have the thought ‘I am good at dance’
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as a ‘good dancer’
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have the belief that ‘I am a good dancer’ based on my past experience of being in dance
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within the memory of being a dancer and use this as a self definition of who I am in separation of myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am superior to others because I was in dance
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use dancing as a way to separate myself from myself and others
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see myself as inferior to others as who I am and thus use dancing as a skill to make myself ‘feel better’ about myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use dancing as a way to define myself as better than others and to feel better about myself in feeding my ego
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use memories of who I was in the past to define myself as who I am now
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to dance in separation of myself in stead of using as a way to express myself within and as my physical body
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself and feel bad about myself because I struggled within the first dance class back at it
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within the feeling of being bad at dance because I was existing in the thought of being good
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel bad about myself within dancing because I was existing in the idea of being good
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as not good at dance because I had a hard time moving through to the first class – instead of realizing any skill takes time to develop and there is not self judgment necessary and only diminishes myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel better about myself because dancing became easier for me as the classes went on
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge and define other girls in my dance class within separation of me through the mind as thoughts of ‘she is skinny’ or ‘she is overweight’ instead of standing equal and one with them as me
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within self judgment of myself and others based on the size of our bodies
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as a good dancer
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself within my mind as the thought ‘I am a good dancer’ because the classes starting becoming easier for me
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself within the polarity as separation of good/bad based on my movements instead of allowing myself to express myself as myself here as the physical body within self expression
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define someone who dances to be either good or bad based on the size of their bodies
I STOP HERE
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define a dancer as being skinny
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define being skinny as being beautiful
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that what I have defined being beautiful as is being accepted through and as society instead of realizing this is only supporting separation within myself and other and this world
I do not allow this of myself
I stop judgment of myself and others
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define dancers as beautiful
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define dance as beautiful within the polarity of ugly/beautiful instead of standing equal and one within what I define as dance and dancers
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define a flat stomach as desirable
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define beauty on the size of my stomach
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge other girls within my dance class based on the size of their bodies
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see only within the polarity of skinny or fat
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define a person within polarity of skinny or over weight
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that if I am acceptable within what I believe to be a beautiful body then I will be accepted within the eyes of others and will be desirable to men
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seek power and control through men desiring me
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see power through men’s perception of me being beautiful
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not being desirable in the eyes of others
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seek attention for the shape of my body instead of accepting me here as a breathing living being
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give value to the shape and size of my body instead of standing equal and one with and as my physical body within realizing it supports me to be here moving and functioning within this reality
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from myself as my physical body through the mind as definitions and thoughts and pictures of how it should look based on ideas and pictures accepted throughout my life instead of realizing it is simply here – to support me to live and to express who I really am without judgments or ideas or perceptions or definitions. HERE EQUAL AND ONE.

Correction:
Realize that I am equal and one with myself as my physical body
Realize that I am equal and one with others within my world and reality
Realize that judgments or only of and as self - and any thoughts about others are a projection of myself
Realize that I limit myself through thoughts within the mind of judgments and comparisons and ideas and beliefs
Realize that i separate myself from myself as equal and one as all through the mind as thoughts of judgments, comparisons, ideas and beliefs
Realize my body is here to support me - not for me to judge it
Realize all human physical bodies are equal and one within their functionality and design and thus equal and one with and as me as my physical body
Realize that I allow myself to be influenced and directed by the mind through thoughts of comparisons and judgments and past memories
Realize that I am able to direct myself through and as the breathe when I experience thoughts of judgments and comparisons and past memories when they arise - to stop and breathe and not being directed and distracted by such things as I realize they are in separation of myself here as life

When I dance and see thoughts of past memories of dancing and self definitions of who I am within dancing - I STOP and I breathe realizing they do not support me within this physical reality - they only keep me limited and chained to self definitions of separation
When I see myself judging myself and others based on our bodies and the shapes and sizes - I stop and I Breathe - realizing all bodies of all humans are equal and one within the functionality and thus I breathe to be equal without thoughts and judgments and comparisons
When I see my experience change within myself based on thoughts of self definitions and judgement about me as a dancer - I stop and breathe and direct myself out of the mind of past memories and experiences and allow myself to breathe and be here new in every moment as self expression
When I find myself placing value on the size and shape of my body - I stop and I breathe realizing the body is me without self definitions and is here to assist and support me to be real in fact - as breathing is that which is life
When I see myself defining myself and others within the polarity of ugly/beautiful or fat/skinny - I stop and I breathe realizing that this is within the mind which is separation and only creates inequality within myself and this world. so I realize I am equal and one without the definition of positive or negative - but simply here.
When I see myself judging myself within dancing - I stop and I breathe and do not support my participation within defintions of being this or that as a dancer - but simply allow myself to breathe here and express myself as dance as the music as the moves. Realizing self expression is self support within/as the physical.





It is our responsibility to stop ourselves from accepting and allowing separation to exist within ourselves as this leads to a world of inequality.

Support yourself with the tools of self honesty and self forgiveness - Dare to face yourself as what you have accepted and allowed and realize we can change - and it is our job to do so.

2012: Real Tools for a blissful Life - Equal for ALL

I just made a video about the Teachings of Abraham Hicks - and I want to go further into some of the points I did not address within the video.

Firstly - within the teachings of Abraham hicks - they sell the idea that we are emotional beings. That we have an emotional guidance SYSTEM and that we can choose 'where' we are on that emotional guidance SYSTEM. For instance - if I am 'feeling' happy and joyful and appreciation - then I am on the 'higher' end of this emotional guidance SYSTEM and if I am feeling 'low' and sad and in despair - then I am on the lower emotional guidance SYSTEM - and all of this is based on the idea that we are vibrating 'positive and negative' out into the world - with the conclusion that this is what we create in our reality and this reality we all share.


Why do I emphasis SYSTEM in an emotional guidance SYSTEM - because, hello! We are accepting we are a system! Is a system life? No - it is dependent upon energy to fuel itself - it's based on a program that has been scripted - it is within being a SYSTEM! So here we are already fucked - because we are within this defining ourselves as a system - that experiences 'highs and lows'/'positive and negative' wherein we have NO CHOICE within that - we just get the ILLUSION of CHOICE to be at either end of the spectrum.

Why don't we question this?

This also exists within the acceptance of Positive and Negative. It is the statement that I have positive and negative emotions and there is positive and negative manifested in this world.

This is something - when I participated as a puppet in these teachings - I whole heatedly accepted. That life is polarized. Highs and lows, hot and cold, negative and positive, inside, outside. There was no sense of EQUALIZATION. Or Equality. It was either this way or that way. Never considering they are one and the same - equal and one.

So we can see how through the teachings of Abraham - we a: accept ourselves as system - fluctuation between the energies of high and low and making ourself believe we have a choice within this. And b: that life is polarized - it is either positive or negative and again the illusion that we have a choice to decide where we are on this scale.

So why is this accepted? Why haven't we considered both ends of the polarity are equal and in fact one. So to judge one side to be 'better' then another - is only judging the same point. And why havent yet seen that this is thus separation. Polarity = Separation. And in this separation ourselves from our creation of both positive and negative and only taking responsibility for one side.

This brings me to the other points. Source Energy and we are the creators of this Reality.

So WHY have we not taking FULL responsibility for what is HERE as Creation? Because within the teachings of Abraham we accept that we are the creators = but that we have not created what is here as this world - and our point of creation only is 'cool to us' when it is something that we want - or makes us feel good - or something we desire.

We fail to recognize that what is HERE is US. We have created ALL that is here as the polarity that exists - as the separation and inequality that exists through not taking responsibility for the whole. We cannot accept only part of it - this is delusional. This is abdication of Responsibility - this is saying something else created that - I am not responsible - I am responsible to only my own blissful life experience.

Don't we see? We cannot accept a polarity system without taking FULL Responsibility for both/all parts. And we cannot change this creation by simply 'tuning out' to one side - we must face all of it.

What does it mean to take responsibility? Self Responsibility? To realize I am Here - and I am Responsible for what exists as me. And through what exists as Me - all Exists as me - Equal and One. And thus - separation within this world = separation within me. Abuse in this world = abuse within me. Negative/positive within this world = negative/positive within me. I am Responsible and thus we need correction. To no longer split ourselves into separate points - to bring back all of ourselves here - in equality and oneness.

I have been supported to do such that - within walking with Desteni and the tools of self honesty, self forgiveness, breathing and corrective application. Where I walk - to Face myself as the Creator - Created - Creation and to no longer accept and allow myself to separate myself in ingoring half of me. But to see All as Me.

Time to get it right - Time to Live what is BEst for All and no longer looking to lead only my life into bliss. But bringing all life into blissful existence as equality and oneness HERE = Heaven on Earth.

20 January 2012

2012: Life can be fun if we Dare to Live

AHHHH - I don't know what to write.

Which is crap.

I was like - should I write a debunking blog? Should I write a self forgiveness blog? Should I write a 'poetry' blog.

No - it's like, fuck I don't want to write. And so here I am - writing. Why? Because I told myself that I would - starting living the words I speak. Stop giving myself reasons to 'fall' and to face it another day.

What I realize - is that if I tell myself something - say I make a commitment - and I am unwilling to walk through that commitment - what does that say about me? Who am I for real then? Someone who speaks empty words and gives false hope and ultimately is untrustworthy.

Well I definitely do not accept this of myself. I create this idea that i believe I have to portray - 'live up to' - keep going as an image. Of how i 'see' myself and define myself - yet is always within separation of myself and hence.. the friction. Friction as resistance I create.

And so I stop... and I breathe and I..

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I have to present myself in a certain way
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I have to be seen in a certain way
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe who I am is seen as an image and if I break this than I am broke
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I have to be someone I am not
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as a destonians and within this see myself as superior to others and then believe I have to fullfill this idea of what a destonian is - when we are simply human being - breathing and walking and talking and showing.

*When I see myself attempting to present myself as an image or within a certain way that I know is separate from me here - I stop and breathe within realizing this is actually who I am - here for real and anything within the mind as ideas or images of myself is ego and so I direct myself here as life instead of me as the mind of systems of energy
*When I see myself separating myself within myself as defining myself as a 'destonian' within being superior - I stop and breathe realizing this is what is actually means to be a destonians - to stand equal and one with all as me - nothing more or nothing less - simply here as life


Really what I see - is that I believe I have to seem 'strong' and 'smart' and within making sense. Where it seems like 'i got it' and I 'understand it' - and all this presentation is fear - fear of not being accepted within the system. Fear of being seen as unacceptable within the system - as we are systems and to seek acceptance in another - is refusing to see myself as life.

So I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see myself separate from myself as life
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seek validation from someone outside of myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seek attention from someone outside of myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seek energy through attention and validation from someone outside of myself

*When I see myself attempting to seek validation from another - I stop and I breathe realizing I am here and through seeking validation from another I realize I am not giving to myself myself - but actually ignoring myself and looking outside of myself for the attention and validation I am actually looking for within myself as myself


Because within this I can see that I am only trying to feed my ego - this personality/presentation of myself - false self - ego.

It's like a defense mechanism that believe I have to be a 'certain way' in order to get 'certain feedback' and if I fail to do that - then OMG - something must be wrong with me.

There is nothing wrong with me - only the false image of myself that i create and accept and allow as me - within the personality of my mind. Where the voice that speaks - that thinks - that is me 'up there' in the space within my head - tells me what to do and how to do it and how to be and it's all based on past memories and experience of how I have lived and created a sense of self that exists within limitation. That i cannot move this way for this reason. I cannot speak that way for that reason. Or I cannot be this way as it is unacceptable.

Well who the fuck said?




What I've realized - there is a dictator within my mind that I created as me - and in facing myself to direct myself back to myself here - it challenges me and presents to me reasons why I created it in the first place. FEAR is the driving force of all of humanity.

We are the way that we are because of how we have existed and what has happened in our life. Fear is what keeps us in accepting ourselves as the mind/personality.

Once you start you face it - you see it - and there is not running away. Because in these moments - you see who you have accepted and allowed yourself to be - a puppet whose strings get pulled in all sorts of directions and then you find yourself saying, 'how did I get here'... 'is this me?'


What I realize - I am Life - and Life is free - when life exists in equality. When I am here - breathing as me - then I exist in equality. As I stand as I breathe - I am the body in this physical reality. And in this physical reality - I am equal to all physicality. Equal and one with the trees and the bees - I am me in self honesty.

LOL - this is just a free flow rant. Writing because I didn't want to and I told myself I had nothing. And here - I proved myself wrong - and pushed through the direction of my mind - to stand Up for myself as Life - in directing Myself - actual free choice - wherein I push and I move and I direct life, as me.

Life can be Fun if we Dare to Live

19 January 2012

2012 - DIP into Self


LOL - so today I resisted a bit to write here. Instead I have been keeping myself busy doing other things - and actually forgot that a blog was still due for the day. Until now.

Until now - the last thing I was doing was going over my lesson 4 within my Desteni I Process lesson. It specifically deals with/assists with writing, self forgiveness, words, definitions, pictures/memories, and self corrective statements/scripts. As I was looking over my assignment and what I have done to complete the lesson so far - I went to see about sending it in for review. I clicked on the link that was presented as our assignment we were turning it.. and bam - it was not what I had seen yet and not what I had been working with/on for my assignment.

For context - this lesson I have been resisting for about, oh, 3 months now. Barely doing the reading and had only just recently touched the assignment. I have, however, gotten 'fed up' with the crap and have been pushing myself to complete it. Yet - It was quite a surprise to see the lesson I thought I was turning in - was not actually was was expected/the assignment. The assignment is to actually make blog/posts consisting of writing - self forgiveness, and the self corrective statements.

I was like, what the fuck.

While I was reading the assignment that was Due, withing my mind I was having quite the reaction. "What the fuck?" "I have to do more work?" "I am not done with my assignment" I was quite annoyed by this - as I created such a resistance to myself in the first place to actually doing the assignment - now that I was done and ready to turn it in - then finding out that is not actually what was to be turned in, i was kind of pissed. It's like that resistance wanted to come back. I was also have the thoughts of "I don't want to write about an event/myself and do self forgiveness in my blog" "people might judge me" It was really fear about revealing a point within myself - facing myself - and fear of sharing/exposing myself.

I realize this is absolutely ludacris and unnecessary - as I don't have to fear anything. I can just be me - and do what is necessary to be done - and it's really that simple. Simple as a breath.

So then I looked at this point - hey, I got a blog still to do tonight - why not get started on this assignment. No excuses to give myself such as I don't have anything to write about - or for the assignment blog, I don't have any event to write about... HA - the mind is always trying to be clever in not facing itself.

So here we are - facing the point. Now with forgiveness:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have the thought, "I don't want to do this assignment"
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to having to start over within my dip assignment in realizing it was different from what i had been working on
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have the thought what the fuck within reacting to having to start over on my assignment for dip
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have the thought I have to do more work within reacting to having to do more work I had defined as being hard and not wanting to push through my resistance of doing the work
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a resistance within myself in relation to getting my dip assignments done within not wanting to face myself as I realize this process is about seeing who I am and how I have created myself and thus stopping and changing myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create through my thoughts an energetic experience of annoyance of having to continue with my dip work
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be annoyed with having to do more dip work
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define dip as tedious and hard work
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe dip is hard work

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear placing my writings of self honesty here in my blog because I know others will read and I fear what they will think of me
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a resistance within myself in placing my writing and self forgiveness here in my blog because I have accepted and allowed a fear of others to influence myself and what i share
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear exposing myself to myself through writing and self forgiveness
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not want to complete my dip work because I had already finished what i believed was the assignment and now I see I have more work to complete
I forgive ymself for accepting and allowing myself to resist doing more work instead of facing it/myself and just doing it - just getting it done
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project myself within my mind of others seeing my writing/self forgiveness within my blog and fear what they will think of me
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place value on others opinions of me instead of valuing myself as me here
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear facing myself as all as one as equal
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I have to be afraid of myself and what I accept and allowing within and as my mind
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as what is within me as me as my mind - instead of standing equal and one with it and as it as who I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become realizing that this is self responsibility

Self Corrective Statements:

Realizations to be lived:
Realize that it is through my definition of dip being 'hard work' that i have created a resistance to doing the work.
Realize that dip is an education that is best for all - as it allows self to see self for real and to see where self can actually practical stop and change self to be here absolute.
Realize that dip and it's assignments are me facing me - and within this I am able to enjoy the process in revealing to myself who I am and how I have created myself and so it is the actual application of getting to know myself - Man Know thyself - wherein I then have the power to change myself as I am standing equal to and one with who I am here
Realize dip is an expression of myself equal and one
Realize the fear of others is a fear of self and in fearing how others will see/perceive me - is a projection of how I see/perceive myself.
Realize that fear only influences me if I allow it
Realize the value I have placed on others opinion of me - is only a reflection of the value I have placed on myself - equal and one

Practical Script:

When I am doing my dip work/assignments - I stop and I breathe realize it is here to assist and support me to get real - back to reality and out of my mind as thoughts and opinions and judgement. I realize thoughts do not serve me and thus I stop and breathe and do not allow thoughts and resistances and annoyance to influence me within doing my dip work/assignments. I realize the dip assignments can and are an expression of myself and as I go through the layers of self as the mind - I dis cover who I am and who I am able to be without any influence and direction of/as the mind - and instead here as me and the breathe as life - equal and one.

When I find myself having resistance to dip work/assignments - I stop and I breathe and push through the resistance realizing it is a wall I have built to protect and Idea or self definition I have created within myself to keep my caged within the mind where I fear and judge and separate myself from myself. I realize dip work/assignments assist and support me to see me for real and reveal to me who I am - and it's cool to know myself because then I realize - I am responsible for myself - and I am able to change and direct myself back to life- which is here as the breath and not in the mind.

When I find myself within my mind as thoughts fearing how others percieve/see me - I STOP and breathe - realizing it is actually me. And so I see this as a projection of myself and take it back to myself and stop judging myself and appreciate myself for being here. I stop placing value within others and take back my own self valuing through valueing myself here. I stop giving away my power to others to influence me - I breathe and be here and direct myself within my moments through trusting myself and my expression.


I value Me.
I express me.
I love me.
I breathe me.
I am here within and as me - as self love - self trust - self appreciation within self expression.

check out more self support and dare to face self: desteni.org
www.desteniiprocess - to walk a process facing self

Here is an awesome video by bernard in supporting self to see ourselves as equal:

18 January 2012

2012 - Face our Reality

2012 is Here

dom.. dom... dom...



There is A LOT of hype around this year - so many beLIEfs - so many thoughts - so many ideas - so many fears - so many opinions - so many Human Beings lost in distraction of fantasy and illusion.

The POINT is - this is just another year. And all the beliefs swirling around it - is just another way we distract ourselves from taking responsibility for what is HERE - as the current state of this world.

Whether we BeLIEve jesus is going to return and save us - or it's aliens coming to clean up our mess - see it for what is actually is - A Means to keep ourselves BLIND to how we can actually change this world.

There are so many angles one can take and challenge with common sense in terms of how people are holding/placing value on this year, 2012 - which I will do in many blogs to come. This is just a starter - to open the conversation and to start removing the blinders.

What will it take for us to WAKE UP and see this doomsday prophecy or someone will come and save us wishful thinking to be what ALL the other 'this is what this date means' is just a waste of our time and is exposing to us how much we give value to ideas/beliefs/hopes/wishes/illusions.

On Dec 22, 2012 - We will still be Here. No one will have come to save us - nothing will have changed - this world will still be existing as it currently does - within an enslavement system of money - where free choice is an illusion and we allow majority of the population to starve. Will we then stop pretending? Will we then DO something about this allowance within Humanity? Will we Stop living in make believe and starting getting back to Reality? I guess we will see.

I don't have to wait and be 'let down' after this year produces nothing more but the same that has been created - separation and inequality within Humanity. I will continue being as I am now - walking a Process of Self Change - where I challenge what I have accepted to be the nature of this world - and start living in a way where I am able to direct myself to be the solution - to be the change I want to see in this world.


We either see this for ourselves now - and take action to stop living in a lie - and starting living for real - in this reality and take self responsibility.. or we wait and see and hope and pray and prepare for something we beLIEve will happen - and we do nothing in the process. One choice seems to be best for all - as it takes in consideration those that suffer within this world - in a system where they are not allowed 'freedom' to choose what they eat, where they live - how they live. The other is self interest - in believing something 'greater then ourselves' is going to happen and then we will be protected and this world will the 'handled'.

WE have to be the ones to stop and change. WE have to be the ones that save ourselves. How much time do we think we have existing in belief systems that do not consider the whole of humanity? I doubt much - and this is why I choose Life. I choose what is HERE. I choose to face reality and stand up and Direct myself and this world into a place of worth. Where life is honored as worthy enough to Live - EQUALLY.

Join the solution.

equalmoney.org
desteni.org
destonians.com


Support the group that supports Life for All - check out for more tools of self support - to be the change:




17 January 2012

2012: Directing myself through inconsistency.

So looking back at this last year - and 'who I am' within what I have done in relation to participating within sharing myself and common sense perspectives for this world - I see inconsistency.

So from here - I want to address the point of deception as the act of not living the words we speak - not being the living word - but instead saying one thing and doing another. Which I have realized leads to the absence of self trust - as self will tell self one thing - but then does not live this or apply this.

For instance - I have made a commitment to myself in the past to do 21 days of self writing - blogging. I have also made this commitment within vlogging and failed to push through the mental walls I was holding up in front of myself - and always ended up NOT doing what I said I would do. Obviously this would lead to conflict within oneself - as I cannot trust myself. Because I tell myself one thing and then don't do it. This is an act of self abuse and the unwillingness to direct self to become the living words - to actually live and be and do that which I say I will do.

So let's start over. Because the more I try to hide from myself, from the perspective of 'giving in' to the thoughts I have that tell me I can 'do it another time', the more I accumulate conflict within myself and the idea that I cannot trust myself - because I give myself excuse, despite what i know is best for me as all.

And so here I commit to AT LEAST 21 days of self writing - pushing myself through and past the fear of others opinions, the idea that I Have nothing to share - thoughts of self judgments. I stop all of this and just write. Just be here. Sharing and expressing in each moment - to support myself to again start living self trust.

There is not real beauty in this world - there is only the gift of Life - which is breath and in each moment being/breathing/living within starting over new again and again. never recreating cycles - but clearing the starting point through self forgiveness and self honesty - to once and for all create a world of equality - where all are considered equally here.

06 January 2012

2012: Walking through the Consequences of the Past

Walking through the consequences of my Past

This last semester of school (fall), I was on academic probation because of my decisions and actions made 2 years ago. I attempted school and withdrew after just half the semester. This time around - I was dedicated and motivated to be in school, participating and doing what was needed to be done. Yet - with completing the same amount of credits this semester as I attempted 2 years ago - I was finishing with only a 50% completion rate - so while being on academic probation - I went into suspension.

No problem - I has been speaking with my adviser and all I had to do was submit an appeal for the suspension. So I got support letters from my teachers, my reason for dropping out 2 years ago, and a letter of what I am willing do to to ensure success with my education.

My adviser was convinced my appeal would go through because of the turn around I made - and I also felt confident about it - and so I continued my registration for classes, and ordering my books.

Then - i got the letter. I was denied. I was also shocked. So I went back to see my adviser and she want to the person that reviewed my appeal to see if there was anything that could be done.

She said they were implementing a 'new system' in that I missed 1 out of the 4 areas I needed to complete. My reasoning for my failed semester was not 'good enough' and I failed to provide supportive documentation. She was upset - and apologized as she felt it was her suggestion - or lack of suggestions that got me denied.

I simply saw it for what it was. Walking through consequences of my past. I made a decision and took action that I now must face the consequences of. I can either feel discouraged and 'pity' myself - or I can simply breathe - see what is here - walk through the past and continue to face myself in every moment.

So I'm breathing and walking through, realizing this is the process. Facing ourselves, who we are, who we were, decisions and action that were made and walking through their consequences - yet not allowing myself to make the same mistakes and react to who I was in the past. Because that is no here.

It was also an interested experiences - as initially I saw myself feel sad and almost like a victim. What I saw it how much I was defining myself in relation to being in school - and now that i Have to sit out this semester - I experienced this feeling of worthlessness - like I'm not doing something of 'worth'. So a point for my to look into within myself. I realize that whether I am in school or out of school - I am the same. I am here, and so it should not matter what I'm doing - but who I am here. So cool to walk this point as I am supported in seeing that I am not defined by anything in my world unless I allow it - and so I do not allow myself to 'feel without' as I realize I am still here and there is still much I am able to learn, simply by being with myself, investigating myself - walking with desteni is an education in itself.

And so I continue - breathing - applying myself within whatever I do and know that space and time is a gift if I allow myself patients.