02 October 2012

Day 75 - "What I have done, You will do to me" - Projecting Self onto Another

In this blog I am writing about the point of "projection" - wherein from a reaction came projections, within my mind of course, about another person. This person had changed plans with me, and within this ASSumed they were lying, or resisting me or whatever the reason I gave myself to beLIEve I was a victim and this person was to blame for what was happening. What I can see is this point is clearly me - meaning, I have done exactly what I feared/thought/assumed the other person was doing, and because of my giving of this, I expected to be received. Yet - it was not real, as I did not communicate with them about the reason, I just accepted they lied to me, were not being honest about their reasoning, and projected all the self blame I have carried onto them, as a way to not have to be/take responsibility for myself, to consider myself within this situation. So a supportive point for me to look at - how I easily project myself onto others, wherein I will THINK they are doing to me what I have done to others.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react within my mind as thoughts about the reason a being changed plans with me, essentially blaming them for beLIEving what they were telling me was a lie and making up all sorts of shit in my head about the REAL reason they changed plans



LOL - the illusion here is the make-believe I am making up in my head



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust the thoughts in my mind about a being changing plans with me, instead of trusting another to speak direct and honestly with me - revealing I am not unconditionally speaking direct and honestly with myself and so within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not speak/communicate self honesty with myself and others as myself and thus end up fearing this being done unto me



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to, in the past, lie and make up excuses as reasons to change plans or get out of doing something I committed/decided to do and within this, fear it being done unto me, such as assuming another's reason for changing plans with me was because of what I have accepted and allowed within myself, lying and not being honest and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project myself unto another without taking any self responsibility for myself, my life and what i have accepted and allowed within/as myself



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, within the back chats of reasons why this being changed plans on me, blame them for not being honest with me and then accepting this as reality, instead of realizing I was making it all up in my head, and was not the reality of the situation at all - revealing to myself such how deceptive the mind can be



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge another being for assuming to know their reasons for doing things, like changing plans with me, because of lack of self responsibility, wherein I have not fully forgiven myself for what i Have accepted and allowed myself to be/live within this life, and thus blame another - instead of realizing they are me - showing to me what I exist within and as me and so I forgive ymself that i Have not accepted and allowed myself to unconditionally live the realization that all are me, equal and one, and any and ALL thoughts about another, are in fact me



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist certain people still and within this, assume others will resist me, because it exist within/as me, I tacitly accept and allow it to exist within others, and thus assume they will do unto me what i have done unto others, begging then for the question, who is creating what?



I forgive myself that I have not yet accepted and allowed myself to realizing that who I am, as the truth of myself, reveals itself in the thoughts, back chats, judgments, opinions and ideas I have about others.. and thus its never about them, it's actually me showing me to me, and so within this deliberate act of dishonesty, attempting to not take responsibility, as then I do not have to change and thus believe I am free from changing and ultimately believing I am better then others, as the judgments and assumptions about others are always in a form of blame, and so within this blame, attempting to make myself "look better" - yet only to myself and so I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from others through expecting them to be responsible for themselves and live self honesty, without living this as myself - thus being a living example



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to expect from others that which I have not unconditionally lived as myself



I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to participate in any and all projections of myself, in accepting and trusting the thoughts that come up in my mind, isntead of in that initially moment seeing what it is I am accepting and allowing and stop it within/as the breath, so I am no longer abdicating my responsibility to myself, and thus my ability to change myself, but to in the moment of each breath, be the change I want to see in this world



When and as I see myself projecting myself onto others, through blame, judgments, ideas, opinions, assumptions within my mind - I stop and I breathe and I bring myself back to the realization that it is me - and thus I take self responsibility for myself, who I am in each moment, in each thoughts, in each feeling, in each moment, I stop myself from projecting that which is existent within me onto others



When and as I see myself accepting dishonesty and deliberate resistance to not speaking directly or speaking self honesty in the moment, to anyone, including myself, I stop and I breath, and I bring myself back to the awareness of what is best for all - and that is to live the principle of "give as you would like to receive" and thus I commit myself to live/give to others as I would like to receive, thus participating in the reality of equality and oneness



I commit myself to stopping all projections within my mind onto others, and bring it back to myself - taking self responsibility for myself and stopping myself from ever again blaming others, as I realize there is no gain in blame, there is only abdication of self's power to change



I commit myself to expose the mind for the deLIEberate dishonesty it exists within and as, where in any way possible will attempt and try to protect and save itself from being 'wrong' and thus fearing being inferior and so I commit myself to stopping the games of living in the mind, where its all about competition and no living is actually happening



I commit myself to hear and accept the words of another, without going into my mind and blaming them for what i Have been in my life, realizing that what I have done, I fear will be done unto me, and so I stop lying and start living - out loud, without shame and with nothing to hide



I commit myself to get to know myself with the support offered within my mind when such projections arise - taking it back to myself and asking ymsel the question, "this point I am blaming/judging/assuming about another - where have I done this in my life" and become self honest in investigating all points of self projection through writing, self forgiveness and self corrective application, so I am no longer able to live the excuse that "it's them, not me" and thus be able to directly change myself to live what is best for all



Featured Artwork by: Marlen Vargas Del Razo