11 July 2012

Day 53 - Facing Manifested Consequences of a Decision Made in Fear Part 2

This is a continuation of my previous Journey to Life Blog, read for context.

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to exist within back chat about C and the dog and his current living condition – instead of applying solution that are best for him and all as well

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that this condition of blaming within the mind about a situation, instead of LIVING solutions that are best for all in the situation – is the current accepted nature of Humanity – where we blame and project ourselves onto everything and all things separate from us without taken any self responsibility and so within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perpetuate the current condition of the world wherein I exist within the Mind about a problem and not live a solution to stop the dishonesty, as I blame and project myself onto others, instead of BEING THE CHANGE I WISH TO SEE IN THIS WORLD.

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to, within the starting point of guilt and blame onto C – desire to no longer have cats, as I believe this will allow me to provide a better life for the dog, instead of realizing this desire is within the starting point of/as self interest, as I am only desiring to be able to care for him, because of the guilt I have allowed to accumulate within me as the decision I made within fear to allow him to stay with an animal abuser, because I was afraid of having him with me. And so within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the reality that is here within going into the mind and projection a reality where I do not have cats and the dog can be with me, and within this feel better about the experience I have in relation to him – instead of realizing the dishonesty and the lack of solution with this participation and thus I forgive myself that iHave accepted and allowed mysel to believe I am able to find solutions within the Mind, instead of realizing the only solution that is best for all – is one that is REAL – when lived in every moment as who I am, in physical reality.

I forgive myself that iHave accepted and allowed myself to see the dog as a victim – instead of realizing I am only victimizing myself through blaming myself for the decision I made in the past to let him stay with someone that could not take the best care of him and so within this I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to victimize myself within blaming myself for the past decision made within fear – instead of allowing myself to let go of it here in this moment, with and as self forgiveness, to then find self honest solutions that can be lived here

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to define the dogs life as “inadequate” and so associate this negative feeling every time I see him – instead of realizing I am separating myself from him through how I define him and his life through/as the mind and with/as the world “inadequate’ and so within this I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to create a negative charge to the word inadequate as the definition of the dogs life – instead of being here, equal and one with him, as him, as each breath and living solutions that are best for all, as me, as him, as all involved

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to blame the abuser of the dog – for hurting him when he was in his care – Instead of stopping the blame, and taken equal responsibility as an equal participation for where the dog was living

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to judge the abuser of the dog – instead of standing equal and one as one that has abused life through my participation in the mind and so equal and one with all the abuse that is here as I have separated myself from life as who I am here as each breath and thus I commit myself to walk equal and one with/as each breath as that which is life within/as equality and oneness within/as all that is here as this physical reality/substance

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not live solutions in this reality that can and will support myself and the dog, and C in changing this situation into one that is best for all

When and as I see myself participating and existing within guilt when seeing the dog – I stop and I breathe – as I realize this how I enslave myself to emotions and feelings through the mind and defining myself and the dog based on past memories – and thus I stop existing in the past as memories, release myself from them and Commit myself to walk the Journey to Life, to Nothingnes, to remove all memories so that I am able to exist here, present, in full awareness of myself as the breath, as Life

When and as I see myself separating myself from the moment of myself here as the breath through going into ideas and beliefs about “how things should be” – I stop and I breathe and realize that no solution will be found through thinking and so I find solutions I am able to live so that I am changing in fact in this world to no longer accepting myself to be trapped in the mind where no change exists and so I commit myself to stop thinking about problems and start living solutions, starting with writing myself to freedom, self forgiveness, and self corrective/commitment statements, as I redefine who I am as life and how I will walk in this world within the starting point of/as equality and oneness

When and as I see myself projecting myself onto C and onto the dog through the mind of thoughts, feelings and emotions – I stop and I breathe and bring myself back into/as awareness as I realize that ALL thoughts, ALL ideas, ALL opinions of the mind, ALL feelings, ALL emotions are ALWAYS in ALLWAYS about me and so I direct it back to myself to see who I am and stand within/as self responsibility to stop all projections and so I commit myself to take all points within the mind back to myself in SEEING me – as it is always showing me who I am and what I am accepting and allowing and thus commit myself to use the mind as a tool to support myself to sort myself out through stopping blame and living self responsibility within/as equality and oneness as life as the breath

When and as I see myself allowing fear of past decisions made influence me here in this moment of who I am – I stop and I breathe and bring myself back to ‘here’, back to life, back to the breath, and realize to allow this fear of past decisions is to enslave myself to living in the past and thus separating myself from living fully in this moment as each breath I breathe and thus I commit myself to stop all fears in relation to the past as I realize they are not here – I am here and thus I commit myself to stop separating myself within the mind of memories and of past decisions, I forgive and let go and live here in each moment of/as breath

When and as I see myself moving within the starting point of/as fear within making decisions within myself and my life – I stop and I breath and I realize what this will create and thus I do not accept or allow it – I allow myself to forgive myself in these moments through releasing the fear and moving myself within/as the starting point of/as equality and oneness, as I realize that from which the starting point I move is that which I will create –and so I commit myself to walking the process of moving myself within/as the starting point of/as equality and oneness, to ensure I am always creating an outflow that is best for all, as equality and oneness is what is best for all

When and as I see myself existing within fear to something outside of me within my reality – I stop and I breathe and investigate what is it that I am fearing – realizing all is me and thus see where I am separating myself from that which I fear and thus take self responsibility to stop fearing me as within the statement I can see the ridiculousness of fearing myself and so I commit myself to removing the fears I have accepted within myself within my mind within how I have accepted/allowed and thus defined this world

When and as I see myself existing within the back chat of my mind as thoughts, feelings, emotions, ideas, and opinions in relation to situations in my reality – I stop and I breathe and allow myself to realize no solution can be lived in the Mind – I have to LIVE it FOR REAL in this real physical reality through self movement, and self will within self responsibility to BE the solution that is best for all and thus I commit myself to living solutions that are best for all within this reality and no longer allowing myself to exist and perpetuate the current state of the world of no real change, as all exist within the mind

I commit myself to stopping all blame – towards me and others, as I realize there is no solution In blame

I commit myself to stopping all projections of myself, as I realize this is separating myself from my self responsibility and thus I commit myself to always seeing me – who I am and what I am accepting and allowing to thus be able to CHANGE me

I commit myself to walk the Journey to Nothingness – to bring myself back to the beginning of the construction of who I am now, so that I am able to rebirth as Life as equality and oneness, and no longer exist within self separation of ALL life here as me, realizing the only way to walk this process is through self investigation (writing), self honesty, self forgiveness, breathing, self corrective statements and the COMMITMENT to Life