19 June 2012

Day 45 - Self Blame projected on Another

I saw myself go into defense and attack mode towards another within my mind. I had reactions to another within blaming them for making a decision that I did not necessarily agree with. I blamed another for their reactions, and how I defined them as not being stable enough to control themselves, and blamed this experience of themselves for the reason they made the decision they did.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame another for their reactions within themselves that lead them to make a decision I did not agree with

I forgive myself for not yet allowing myself to see/realize and understand the projection of myself that I am placing unto another for reacting and causing them to make a decision I did not agree with – why am I angry at myself? Where do I react and make decisions based on reactions and now am projecting the blame onto another?

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attempt to diminish another within my mind in an attempt to feel better about myself as a way to defend myself within the experience of feeling less then and inferior to them – as they made the decision I did not agree with and thus I feel powerless and not control and thus attempt to get energy through blaming them and making myself the ‘winner’ within the competition in my mind

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attack another within myself in my mind instead of taking responsibility for myself as I see I am reacting within myself – as thus participating in the mind and blaming another for the very thing I am accepting and allowing within myself

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to see the relationship I have created within my mind with another and thus allow myself to see what it is I am reacting to

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to create conflict with another in an attempt to get energy from them, through wanting them to feel bad about the decision they made that I did not agree with

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to create friction as a way to produce energy within myself in relation to another through blaming them in my mind and attempting to be the winner within the competition I have created with them in my mind

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within competition with/towards another within my mind

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire being the winner within the competition I have created in my mind to/towards another and thus seek my reward as energy through creating conflict and friction within blaming them for who they are and what they have allowed – instead of taking responsibility for myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to play the game of love where I attempt to be superior to another through controlling the relationship and another through attempting to make them desire me through withholding myself from them

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define love and relationships as a game with rules that I have to play and in the end win, instead of realizing the illusion the game is within the mind that suppress life and abuse life and should not be tolerated

I forgive myelf for accepting and allowing myself to blame another for the experience within myself as reactions to them having reactions and making a decision based within the starting point of reactions

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ignore another in an attempt to have power and control and project this onto them through believing they are ignoring me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself to an illusionary game within the mind as relationships of competition and friction

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself within energy – seeking more energy to exist within and as instead of breathing here as life – where no energy moves

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from myself as life through participating in the mind of projections of blame and anger towards another

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry with myself and blame myself for creating a relationship separate from another within my mind

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am not able to support myself through facing myself and stopping reactions and emotions as possessions that posses me within energy to act without any self direction and than project this onto another

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself for not fully effectively in every moment of breath stop myself from participating in the mind and becoming possessed by energy and thus project this onto another

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deliberate abuse myself as life as another through blaming them without taking any form of self responsibility

I commit myself to stop all projections of myself unto another and commit myself to take responsibility for myself in always for who I am here in each breath I breathe through writing, self forgivness and self corrective application

I commit myself to push myself in all forms of blame on another within realizing it is within self judgment thus I commit myself to stop all self judgments as myself within realizing all I require is self responsibility as within this is the power to stop and change