12 June 2012

Day 40: I Feel Dumb

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame another and define and judge them as an asshole because they kept correcting my English, and when I felt insecure within this, blame them for my experience instead of me taken responsibility for myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as dumb

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see myself as inferior to another because of my level of intelligence

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define another to be smarter than me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare myself to another as being less smart and thus inferior

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself and another on intelligence level, instead of realizing we are all products of our programming and thus we are not yet all equal within intelligence and capabilities

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself on how I speak my words

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel as less intelligent than others and judge myself within this

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as not smart and thus dumb and justify this back chat with more back chat as “I’m going to school to get myself more educated”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself according to how others interact with me and when I experience points within myself such as insecurities and inferiorities in relation to my intelligence, project them onto others through blaming them for the way they are instead of taking responsibility through stopping blame and to see how I am accepting and allowing myself to accept myself as inferior and insecure within myself in relation to my intelligence

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear speaking and communicating with others I define as more intelligent than me, in fear of 'looking stupid' and them judging me - instead of realizing I am judging myself for being inferior within my intelligence

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as not smart enough to communicate with all beings, realizing that to compare and define myself and another based on our level of intelligence, is of the mind, as I am than in competition with them, where I judge myself as inferior to some and superior to others, and thus realizing within this that I fear others judging me for what i have done to others - define myself as superior within intelligence, and within this 'feel better' about myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see another as inferior to me within intelligence, instead of stopping all judgments and comparisons that I allow to separate me from me as life as all as one as equal - thus realizing another is me and to compare or judge another, I am only judging and comparing me, creating competition in an attempt to win which is based within wanting to survive

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being seen as less intelligent than another

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define another based on their intelligence, instead of realizing that common sense within living in this world is simplicity, where all are able to be equal within simplistic common sense and thus intelligence has no room within equality as those that are 'more intelligent' are still responsible as I am responsible to changing ourselves/themselves within this world to produce a world best for all

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attempt to feed my ego with defining myself as superior to some based on intelligence

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not being intelligent within this world through the acceptance that I have defined intelligenct as superiority

I forgive myself for accepting and allwoing myself to not realizing that where each are born into this world will depend upon their level of education and thus their intelligence, and currently we are unequal in that not all have access to education and support and thus... removing all definitions of superiority/inferiority within intelligence, as it does not define who a person is, but where they were brought up and so it's to become responsible in this world to ensure that all have equal access to education where we will no longer accept separating between ourselves based on intelligence, as all will be equally educated and thus share our understandings and what we learn throughout life with each other, as we will than be in a world where our life is to support the whole as one as equal - as this is what is best for all

When and as I see myself defining myself within my intelligencing, comparing myself to another as either superior to inferior - I stop and I breath and I bring myself back here as the physical which is equal, thus no longer accepting and allowing separating and competition within me to/towards another, and pushing myself to become responsible within myself to walk in this life to ensure all are supported within a asystem where all will have a REAL equal opportunity to be educated

When and as I see myself blaming another for who they are because of the experience I have within myself in relation to intelligence - I stop and I breathe, and I bring myself back to self responsibility, where I see myself through self reflection what I am accepting and allowing as myself and so when I see myself defining myself according to my intelligence within comparing myself to another as being inferior - I stop and I breathe and I do not allow self judgments to be my reason for projections. I commit myself to stopping all projections of myself onto another and instead live self responsibility in all ways through always seeing that the 'blaming of another' is the blaming of myself and so I stop blaming myself and see what I am allwoing through self honesty, writing and self forgiveness

I commit myself to walk a process towards creating and implementing a system within this world that is real within it's equal opportunities for all to be educated

I commit myself to stopping the egos desire to compete to be better

I commit myself to stopping all self judgments that limits me within separating myself from another - I commit myself to stopping all self definitions that are not best for all

I commit myself to see another as me - realizing projections of myself onto another are me attempting to not see me - see what I am accepting and allowing within/as myself

I commit myself to educate myself within this world within realizing it will take self responsible human beings to re-direct this world into the creation of a world best for all and thus I educate myself to see what this world in all it's facets and to then change them within ways that are always best for all