26 May 2012

Day 29 - Make Up as the Mask I Wear


Before I found Desteni - I wore a lot of Make Up. A lot of Cover Up. A lot of mascara and eye liner and lip gloss. In no way could I leave my house without these things... this I would not accept. Because I did not accept Me - and I believed I had to make myself up into something better - for others to see and accept me.

This has stopped as I SEE the self deception.. yet points have arised here and there where I 'think' about wearing make up again, and so revisiting the point I was existing within and accepting as myself to show to myself why I will never go back.. and what I have supported myself to see in walking the process of taking off the mask and standing naked.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wear make up to present an image to others

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define my physical look as ‘not good enough’ and thus wear make up to make myself up into something better then how I have defined myself without make up

I forgive myself for never questioning the societal ‘norm’ of females wearing make – up and investigate why it is we feel we need to wear it

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define my face without make up as ugly

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear others defining me as ugly without make – up

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I have to cover up my face with false colors in order to be seen as beautiful

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear others seeing me without make up – because I have defined this as ugly and thus fear others defining me as ugly without make up

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as ugly and thus wear make up within the starting point of self judgment within believing it will make me beautiful and desire others to see me as this

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be dishonest with myself when I tell myself ‘I wear make – up as a from of expression” – when I know the reality of myself within my mind – I am terrified to be without make-up in fear of not being seen as beautiful and thus fear not being accepted by others

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define beauty as acceptances

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define beauty as validation

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define make up as beauty

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define who I am as wearing make up to be beautiful

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself according to how my face looks – with or without make up – and completely disregarding the physical function of my physical body that supports me to BE/LIVE here

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wear make up as a way to have power and control over others through manipulating them with the make up I wear to have them see me in a certain way/presentation

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attempt to have power and control over others through wearing make up as I have believed others are and will be in awe of me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see myself as superior to others when wearing make up

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from others through comparing myself to others within how I look with or without make up and feel superior to others when I wear make up as I believed I look better and thus feel more comfortable with myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define comfortability within myself based on the way that I look

I forgive myself I have never accepted and allowed myself to unconditionally accept and love myself as the way I am = without make up and cover up – being here with/as me as who I really am and without a mask I hide the terror behind

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe others will like me more if I wear make up

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to present myself as beautiful when I wear make up – hiding behind the mask the fear I have of others not accepting me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within self judgments of the way that I look – defining myself according to the way that I look instead of what matters – how I live and who I am

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to support the beauty industry within my desire to be beautiful by wearing make –up – thus supporting animal abuse and a profit driven industry that tells women we are worthless without make up

I commit myself to expose the beauty demons of this world – to show how beauty does not actually exists – but that it is only a mask we wear to hide our fear and real beingness without who we are as our minds

I commit myself to know myself and become the living expression of self intimacy – where I become intimate with myself as who I am as this physical body – walk with gratitude for the ability to live I receive in every moment – and stop defining myself on an outside picture and definition separate form me here

I commit myself to live real beauty – as who I am in each moment that is free to self express who self is in self honesty – without fear of others, without the projection of a picture I have to live up to – simply me here as the breathing being I am, standing for what is best for all in this world – equality and oneness