19 May 2012

Day 26: The Starting Point is the Decision of "Who I Am"

I've realized since walking my Process - that who you are determines what you will do - and what you do will determine who you are. Yet - I realize I am not defined by what I do.. and tonight what I realized is this: The starting point from which "I Am" - that point from which I move within myself and my life... my reason for being, for doing, for acting, for speaking... my Starting Point is always "Who I am". And so is the Decision. Who Am I? What is my starting point for moving/acting/speaking/living? What moves me to do this or that, to participate in this or that? My starting point is my point of Creation - who I am as Creator... because from the starting point - births an outflow of where it began.

I had realized this tonight because the last 24 hours I had been participating in actions in which I was using to espace - to not face myself or my responsibilities and I realized - within the starting point of DECIDING to do those activities I did ( was just basically being lazy and watching movies instead of the many other responsibilities I have) I was within separation - I was within resistance and I was within dishonesty. Thus - my starting point was to not face myself, to give up and essentially escape for a moment. Thus, I then realized - this is me Deciding Who I am and how I live - based on the starting point. So essentially - My starting point = THE DECISION = Who I am

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the starting point of separation wherein I move myself within the starting point of wanting to escape my reality instead of realizing from this I birth separation as myself within myself and this world as I am attempting to escape who I am here

I forgive myself that I havent yet allowed myself to LIVE in every moment of every Breath the DECISION that is Best for All - where I always clear myself within the starting point of my living application as who I am and Make damn sure I am within/as the starting point of Equality and Oneness = what is Best for All - thus birthing this as the outflow of my starting point

I forgive ymself for accepting and allowing ymself to make the decision to not support life through existing within the starting point of not standing up, and not wanting to take responsibility for myself and my world where I desire to 'get away' and thus create the outflow of me separating myself from myself as this reality

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deny my self honest wherein I SEE in every moment who I am as the starting point from which I move - I see when I am being self honest, moving from/as breath, taking directive principle of myself to act within my world to do that which is necessary to be done, and when I am being self dishonest, moving from/as the mind of energy and separation wherein I exist in self limitation and self separation - separating myself from the whole within self interest and wanting to exist and escape to my own little reality where I do not have to take responsibility for myself or anyone else and just wanting to 'get away'

I forgive ymself for accepting and allowig myself to decide to allow myself to fall within not pushing myself through the experience of wanting to escape and instead allow myself to follow the direction of the mind within the beleif that 'it's too hard, and I can't do it' so I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to validate my self limitation as the back chat of my mind, isntead of breathing and standing up within the DECISION to change what I Have accepted as who I am and thus MOVE myself to be directive of myself/as myself - no longer accepting the mind as my directive principle, but for once and for all Decide who I am going to be/live in this World within seeing the starting point of the very nature of why I do what I do

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fail to realize that who I am is within the starting point = the reasoning I do what I do, whether I do something or not - the cause/source/origin of who I am and what I decide to live in this world, and thus continue to allow myself to fall within separation within/as the starting point of moving within the desire to escape - to not face myself or this reality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider others here and only myself through existing in the starting point of wanting to escape my reality with actions and participation within my world

I commit myself to clear myself within the starting point of who I am to ensure that I am allways in allways moving within the starting point, decision that is best for all

I commit myself to slow myself down enough to become self honest within allowing myself to see who I am deciding to be within/as this world through seeing the very starting point, source/cause/origin from which I move in this world

I commit myself to trust myself to direct myself in moments wherein I want to 'give up' and participate in actions that support my self created separation through allowing the Mind to direct me within the limitations I Have placed on myself - I commit myself to always decide to support life as equal and one with me hererealizing from this will birth the equality of humanity

I commit myself to decide in all ways to live that which is best for all - thus seeing when I am separating myself within my starting point of who I am and thus what I live in this world and to not allow anything less then what is best for all