15 May 2012

Day 24 - Fear of others 'finding me'

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear others in my reality finding me online – finding my writings and seeing my participation within desteni and support of an equal money system – and judging me and seeing me differently then how the saw me before

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself into the ‘kristina in the physical reality’ and ‘kristina on the internet’ – as if it is 2 different people, instead of realizing the same application of who I am online is who I am in person, thus not to fear exposing to othes what I am exposing to myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as being ‘different’ and assume others will judge me for my participation within blogs and vlogs and the various sharing sites – instead of realizing this is of the mind as ego in attempt to protect the self definition that secures is position within society as being ‘acceptable’ – I stop this desire to be accepted and re=commit myself to living what is best for all – stopping, standing up, exposing and revealing the solutions that every one can live here and now to ensure we create a reality that is best for all

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide myself from others within my reality within resisting them ‘finding me online’ – beliving they will no longer accept me and see me different if they see what it is that I share – who I am.. instead of realizing this is a projection of myself – wherein I fear seeing who I am and actually living as principles within the expression of myself – wherever I am – whenever I am – with whoever I am – realizing that the change in personality depending on outside points is also of the mind as ego in it’s attempt to ‘form and change’ to ‘fit it within the enviroment’ within fear of being ‘casted out’ and not accepted. I realize I do not require to be accepted by others – only require to accept myself here – as this is where I am as life and thus supporting myself as life and not separating myself within seeing myself and who I am in a separate point such as another ‘accepting me’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not living in full expression of who I am and what I am walking as the process of self change/self transformation and exist still within the personality presentation within my reality that I believe others will accept thus being dishonest witih myself and thus fear being ‘exposed’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not fully live who I am in every moment in standing up as myself as life ine very moment of my life – whether it is online or at work or in school… being the same, here, constant, yesterday, today and tomorrow – not at all changing myself for others and remaining self honest within the application of life – breathing here, exposing myself and this world and living/sharing solutions that is best for all

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto the ego of desire to be accepted by others and thus fear when others ‘find me online’ and resist sharing with them who I am and the process that I am walking.. instead of realizing this is a process all must walk – as we all must face who we have accepted o urselves to be within the mind as separation of each other – and walk ourselves back together again, back to equality as what is best for all.. and thus I stop fearing myself as the process I walk as all as one as equal.. and dare the share myself openliy – outloud for all to see – without shame or fear as I walk this as me for LIFE

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place my mind self definition of ‘who I am suppose to be’ within this world as being ‘accepted’ by others above what should and shouldn’t be accepted and allowed within existence as me – realizing that through our acceptances and allowances we have created what is here as ourselves and this world – and thus I only support that which is best for all – equality and oneness – stopping the mind of self interest and getting back to life as all as this physical reality

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place more value on how others see me then who I am here as life – expecting others to give me the acceptances and validation that I am capable of giving to myself within realizing that if I was giving this to myself – I would not require it from others and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not give to myself self acceptance as who I am here as life as the very breath I breathe

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself and participating within desteni and my online activities such as blogging and vlogging as something others will resist and react to me – instead of stopping the Assumptions of the Mind as destractions and projections to not face myself within the experience of myself – I stop the distractions and bring myself back here, pushing myself to stand up for life in all ways in all avenues of my life – whether I am ‘here’ or ‘there’ or anywhere, I am always HERE and thus be here as each moment within the support of life

I commit myself to continue walking through the fear and resistance I have in relation to others ‘seeing who I am’ within my participations on line – I commit myself to be self honest in being who I am here and ‘there’ to be the same – applying the same tools, living the same principles, the same, yesterday today and tomorrow.

I commit myself to stop valuing others ideas/perspectives of me more then myself here – as I realize that I walk this process of self change for all as me equal and one