16 April 2012

Day 2 - Waiting for Myself

Day 2 of a 7 year process of daily writing I have committed myself to - and seeing already the patterns of my personality that I allow to convince me I can wait.

Today - knowing I have taken on this point of Self Commitment - Self Committed to Life - through taking self responsibility within Facing the Patterns of the Mind as a Robot and forgiving/releasing myself from my Cons - the thoughts exposed themselves. "I don't know what point to write about today. I don't have to write everyday - I can skip a day - I'm still in the process counting the days until Nothing..." Through accepting this, coming home and finding distractions. Means to dis tract myself wherein I place myself on a path to avoid facing the patterns I am. Procrastinate the point - avoid the point - resist the point of facing self here as living the words I speak - the words I write - Standing as the Living Words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to distract myself through the Mind as thoughts when I see myself having to face/walk through my self responsibilities

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I can resist myself as facing myself as who I have become - instead of realizing I am here and thus who I am as the Mind is here - directing me within my life wherein I give away my power as life to the patterns of the mind as procrastination

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as a procrastinator

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I can 'wait' and 'hold off' on points that arise within and as me within and as my world - believing there is another moment I an address my responsibilities - instead of realizing I have always waited - waiting for myself to become self directive wherein I live each moment as I direct myself to breathe as life and thus I stand within and as every moment to direct myself through seeing/facing/forgiving these patterns of the Mind wherein I tell myself I can procrastinate and wait and put of something for another time instead of realizing the only time I have is here

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to find distractions within my world such a being online or doing other work as a way to justify my accepted avoidance of facing myself as the responsibility I have committed myself to

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within waiting.. waiting for another moment wherein I separate myself from this moment where I realize I have the power to see/realize/understand/change/correct me as who I have accepted myself to be and thus I take back power and control within and as myself as the breath to move myself into that which I reist - facing myself and living the words that I speak - no more waiting as time does not wait. Time is here and thus I stand equal as time in taking advantage of every moment I have that is here

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist the point of writing here within my 7 year Journey to Life through seeing the years as long and the commitment too big - instead of realizing I have already committed myself to Life - the bringing about Equality and Oneness here as Me as what is Best for All - and thus I allow myself to see this Process as what is necessary to be done - as it is the physical process of purification we all walk as Equals - until there is nothing left - nothing left of who we were and where we will Birth Life as Freedom for All

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the process of the Journey to Life - instead I allow myself to see it as a joy ride - as I am able to enjoy myself as I get to know myself through daily writing and self forgiveness - seeing who I am, how I have created myself, and how I am able to change myself. I take this opportunity as a gift to myself as I give back to myself the power to be Life

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wait for Life to happen - wait for LIfe to change me - I decide/commit to Change myself as Life. Giving to me that which I want from Life - I gift to me Life as Change that is Best for All.

When and as I see myself participating in thoughts of procrastination - believing I can 'put off' something that I am able to address in the moment - I stop and I breathe and I direct myself in the moment as self movement to complete that which is necessary to be done

When and as I see myself within waiting for something outside of myself to move, change, expand, develop - I stop and I breathe - realizing I have waited long enough for myself to make the decision as the directive principle to decide once and for all WHO I will be become - and through this realizing that who I will be become will one that has to walk through who one has currently accepted and allowed self to be - through this seeing what works and what doesn't work - what is best for all and what is not best for all

When and as I see myself attempting to distract myself within my reality through resisting facing a point of self responsibility such as daily writing and self forgiveness - I stop and I breathe and see the deception within this - thus I become self honesty and allow myself to make the directive decision to move myself to the point that I resist - go into and stand as that point in facing myself as the limitations I have placed on myself wherein I believe 'I can't do it - I have nothing'. I realize there is much to be walked through as I am equal as one with all of existence and thus seeing what is existing - it is me - and so within this, seeing myself and the many layers of self interest and abuse I have allowed to manifest as Me - I become responsible and I walk this Process - for all parts as Me - Self as Life