Taking direction of myself creating a structure system within my day so I no longer accept a polarity to run my life.
Throughout my life I have experienced these points of wanting to achieve things. Getting things done. Have structure and completing tasks.
Left without any direction, I wander and search and float and get nothing done. I then go into self judgments for not doing the things I want to get done.
When I do do things I want to get done within my reality - it's always within a positive point of 'yay - I'm doing something good, I'm being productive' So it's almost like this forcing an idea I have to be doing this in order to experience myself as living a 'good life'.
When reality - I am looking for satisfaction within myself and my reality. Looking to create, to add to, to learn something. Yet I have never considered giving this to myself - or Living is as myself. I have always waited for someone or something to tell me what to do. So why not give this to myself?
Direction. Taking power within my own hands to be that which I want to be and do that which I want to do. And I can see within common sense how I can live a life fulfilled - a life of expression and one of worth and value. Yet's - its about not just thinking about it and wishing for it - it's about practically living it.
SO - I have supported myself within directing myself through a structured day. Creating a system I can follow - give myself direction to - to get things done in my reality. So I'm no longer feeding polarity of 'being good' or not 'being good'. Because whenever I have thoughts about doing something good/productive - I end up living the opposite. Living the negative. Wanting to to more in my life - but then not doing anything at all. And instead of allowing myself to accept the limitation that I am lazy or no one is directing me (LOL, wow) I take back Directive Principle of Myself. And I finally realize how to do that practically within my living application.
So I have made a schedule for myself. A list of things to do through out my day - a time to do them in - completely planning out my day. There is this idea that I have left no room for myself in expression - yet I stop this, as I see when I let myself to 'go' without no direction, I get nothing done, and just attempt to escape doing other things that are not necessary as there is so much more that I could be doing.
I am committing myself to this daily schedule I have created myself for 21 days. To get back onto a constant application of my daily living. Directing myself throughout my day, as I see this is how I practically support myself to stop thinking about what I need to do - and being in the physical reality of doing it.
Self support here for myself to get myself sorted out. TO support myself - I see I require structure, and consistancy. I require Direction - and here I realize Only I can give this to Myself.
Will share the process as I walk.