26 February 2012

2012: Want something Done? DO it! A tale of time-looping

I recently gathered all my blogs I have published since I started the writing/blogging process. What is fascinating is certain patterns seem to constantly arise within myself - and I was time-looping a point within myself pretty consistently.

The point, fascinatingly enough, was about the writing/blogging process itself. Where I was constantly judging myself for not writing and exposing this through writing, then writing for a bit, before I fell again. I would then time-loop again with starting to write, exposing this point of not consistently writing, and then fall again.

What I realized within this and is funny now to see - how simple to solution was/is.

I wanted and expected of myself to write more within blogs. And in my day to day living. And I was not satisfied with myself when I would not be consistent with it and thus judge myself for not pushing myself, and allow myself to fall within this. I experienced resistance to it - and allowed it - and then allowed myself to judge myself for it. Seems silly when all one has to do is push through the resistance and get done what one wants to get done.

In my case - it was blogging/writing. It took almost a year to time-loop through this point until I finally realized - Just fricken do it already. Seriously, it's like a wtf moment - where you realize how simple it is to just stop the bullshit within self and get it done. It's only in the mind we complicate it and make it 'more' then what it needs to be - simply direct yourself to do that which you say you will do - that which you want to do - that which you know is best for all.

I see that this starting point for writing and time-looping the point, was not self honesty. It was within self interest - where I was interested in getting attention and feedback within myself and my process from others, telling me that I am doing the 'right thing' and that I am doing well - because I was not giving this to myself. I was not giving to myself the attention I desired - and was expecting others to give this to me. This only leads to self abuse as we are then implying that we are incapable of being for ourselves what we want others to be for us. This is only showing us that we are not living for ourselves - we are only living for others. So - I had to really stop myself within the seeking of attention and feedback, as this is not self honest. Self Honesty is to see that this is a point(blogging/writing) of support for myself to face myself, to expose myself, to let go of my fear of how others see me and to face myself head on in self honest. To get out of the MInd as ego, wanting to present a presentation that is pretty and acceptable - but to get real with myself in realizing this process is a long road ahead and might not be the easiest thing in the world, as I am going against the very nature of myself. Yet - realizing the solution is always simple and is here if we dare to see.

SO - the point is; Give to yourself that which you desire from others. Do yourself that which you want to be apart of/stand as/participate within. Realizing only you can do that. Stop the mind of excuses and justifications that we keep ourselves busy in circling one point within ourselves. In my case, I was wanting to be more consistent with writing - and until now didn't realize it could be as simple of JUST DOING IT.

lol - even now there is like this point of, 'this is to easy, to simple' but I suppose this process of self change doesn't have to be 'going against the current' when we simple allow ourselves to do what we know is best for all - what we want to express, how we want to share, being self honest - all of this can be easy - as we see the solution are so easy. If it seems 'too hard', I know I am limiting myself within excuses. Just do it - really, it's that simple.