31 January 2012

2012 Mirror Mirror

Taking responsibility for myself here - as I have been accepting and allowing myself to participate in blame through gossip.

I have been having conflict with a family member - but it was not a direct conflict through face to face communication - it was through the digital world and through speaking about it with other family members.

What I see within myself through participating in such communications about this situation - is that I was blaming this person for being the way that they are and for doing something apparently to me. I was blaming this person for saying things that I reacted towards as judgments - like he was judging me within saying the things he was saying... that I accepted within myself to feel judged.

And instead of stopping myself from accepting myself as a victim - I just blamed him for saying things that I reacted to, and communicated 'why he is the way he is, and his actions say this about him'

This is unacceptable - as I am only separating myself from this being through blaming them, instead of taking responsibility for myself.

Taking responsibility for accepting myself as a victim. Taking responsibility for accepting myself to feel hurt. Taking responsibility for accepting myself to react as blame. Taking responsibility for accepting myself to gossip about this being. Taking responsibility for projecting my own self onto him - which is what I was so upset with him about in the first place. That he was saying 'mean things' about other beings - and got upset for him not taking responsibility for himself within realizing those beings he speaks of are him.

And so - for me here to realize - I AM THE BEING I REACTED TO. Meaning = I am reacting to myself for separating myself from others within seeing/realizing they are always reflecting back to me what i am accepted and allowing.

So let's learn from this within realizing - It's always about self. My perseption - thoughts - ideas, feelings, emotions, ALL experiences within myself that are projected onto another being - is ALWAYS me. So take advantage of what is here through others within our reality. It's not 'them' - it's 'us'.
It's not 'you' - it's 'me'.

Suggesting that this being is doing something that makes me feel a certain way - or that I turn around and talk about in reacting of what they are doing - blaming them for not seeing or blaming them for not taking responsibility - how clearly I can see this is me.

So I stop.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame others within my reality for who they are instead of taking responsibility for myself here
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to expect others to take responsibility for themselves when I have not yet unconditionally taking responsibility for myself - always in all ways
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project myself onto others through blaming them for talking shit about another being instead of realizing I am accepting and allowing myself to talk shit about them
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from others within my reality through blaming them for not taking responsibility for their own reactions toward others and instead realizing this is me showing me that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to others and blame them for what I am responsible for as reactions and projecting onto them
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to expect others to change instead of directing me to change
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within gossip as a way to blame another for their words/actions within attempting to hide and not face my self responsibility for what i accept and allow within my words/actions
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I can hide from myself through gossip instead of realizing I am only being dishonest through not facing myself as who I am within myself as reactions towards another
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to support separation within myself and others through participating within gossip as a way to not face and take responsibility for myself and what i Have accepted and allowed within me

I stop and I breathe realizing all is me equally. And thus - if all are me - all are showing me who I am and what i Have accepted and allowed. So I stop blame and start taking responsibility for myself realizing I am able to respond without reactions - and instead stand here equal and one with all as me through self honesty.

Change can only happen through/as Self.